How do you divide financial responsibility, chores and childcare in your relationships?

TermAggravating8043 · 2023-09-27T16:22:19+00:00

Ok I don’t normally give personal info but I’ll bite in this one

Female, early 30’s, married

He prob brings about 70% I bring 30%

He spends maybe 5 % on chores I do 95%

I do about 75% childcare he does 25%

We are both generally happy and satisfied, however we do have a common argument where he states he wishes I worked more, I generally wouldn’t be against this but he would have to help more with the childcare (I left my career to get a part/time job around kids so his job wasn’t interfered) so he’d need to adapt his hours or pay for childcare and we’d need a second car since we live rurally. I would also expect him to take on one of the big jobs of housework too, He doesn’t want any of this and so we continuously come to the conclusion that he wants me to magically make more money without it impacting his life.

Right now I know this argument is mainly down to stress snd hating his job, in a few years, our kids won’t need to be constantly watched and can do their parts in the house too so I intend to go back to a better job, he’ll be able to retire early and we’ll have our house paid off.

obviousredflag · 2023-09-27T16:27:08+00:00

M39, not married but in committed long term relationship.

we split bills 50/50
no children and we are living in separate flats. So we both do the chores that apply to our apartments
Yes we are satisfied with the current division. In the past, while living in the same apartment with previous partners, i also split chores by half, each doing the things they are better in/have less aversion to. In the future, with kids and different incomes, we would also find a way to split bills and chores fairly, while maybe not evenly.
The ideal ratio is one where no side has the impression of doing more than the other for the shared life.

Icy_Ordinary2025 · 2023-09-27T16:14:06+00:00

How much do you and your partner bring to the shared budget (in percent)?

Split based on income. Something like 60 (me) 40 (him).

Approximately how much time do you and your partner spend on chores and childcare?

No children. Chores are based on free time. Usually someone will start something and the other will finish. Ie one will load the dishwasher and clean the kitchen, and the other will unload and clean the kitchen. Or one will start laundry, and another will fold and put away.

Are you and your partner satisfied with the current division?

Yes.

What would be the ideal ratio for you?

Split based on income and free time.

Acaciduh · 2023-09-27T16:41:48+00:00

F/41/Married

He makes about $20k more. We split bills pretty evenly although he will add more to joint savings.
I do the bulk of chores and childcare because I WFH so it just makes sense. I also enjoy cooking. He will do the dishes though and helps cleaning on the weekends. He also helps a lot with the kids when off of work on nights and weekends.
Yes, it’s worked for us for many years.
The ratio I have now works but there’s been times we’ve had to adjust. When I gave birth he helped more because I was breastfeeding and tired af as an example.

thelajestic · 2023-09-27T16:50:57+00:00

gender, age and marital status

F33 married

How much do you and your partner bring to the shared budget (in percent)?

We split everything down the middle, 50% each

Approximately how much time do you and your partner spend on chores and childcare?

No kids. Chores - I don't really know tbh, we tend to both do daily chores at the same time as each other. For other things he might do things early on a weekend morning if I'm in bed and he's up, whereas I work compressed hours so I do a lot of my housework on my weekday off. So not sure how much time we spend but it's pretty balanced.

Are you and your partner satisfied with the current division?

Yep, we both work about equal hours and both earn about the same so this makes the most sense for us.

What would be the ideal ratio for you? Obviously ideally we'd have a horde of servants to do all our housework for us, but failing this I think the current ratio is ideal for our circumstances.

rosesonthefloor · 2023-09-27T18:21:31+00:00

F29, dating 2 years.

In terms of income, we’re 60/40 for him and I respectively. He takes care of most of the household bills, but I still contribute. Overall it’s probably more like 70/30 including groceries and everything.
No kids, and chores depend. He does a lot of the “icky” stuff (garbage, dog poop, cleaning toilets, laundering his work clothes) and I take care of much of the rest. He does like to cook so while I still cook the majority of the time, it’s not the large majority.
Yes we’re pretty happy with this. We both contribute to the household in different ways. We pick up each other’s slack when one of us is tired or sick.
This works well for us. I agree with others that generally, these things should be split according to income, free time, and energy.

TSquaredRecovers · 2023-09-27T18:27:29+00:00

Me (43F), husband (40M), married

In the past couple years, it’s evened out to 50/50. Prior to that, I made considerably more and the financial split was more like 65/35 (roughly).
This is also roughly 50/50 and always has been. I don’t believe that income earned has anything to do with the division of domestic tasks, rather the amount of hours worked. He does almost all of the cooking, and I do a much larger share of the cleaning. As for childcare, it has always been 50/50 as well. Our son is older now, so it’s no longer as much of an issue.
Yes, we are very satisfied.
Our ideal ratio is 50/50.

catwatchwsmyshame · 2023-09-28T04:57:02+00:00

36 m 30 f I do 100% of the bills, she doesn't work. I do 20% to 30% of chores, but I do all the mowing the lawn and stuff. Our kid isn't a baby anymore but wife did about 60 percent when she was small. She gets her ready for school about 80% of the time now. I make all the appointments and do all the errands, but she joins me sometimes This is ideal. She used to work but working sucks and we both hated her doing it. Now she stays home, cleans and such, plays a lot of video games. I work from home so I do the same. We have no friends and it's perfect, screw leaving the house.

MiddleZealousideal89 · 2023-09-27T16:25:42+00:00

Lady, married, 31.

My husband is currently the only one working, I recently got my permanent residence and I'm going through the process to get my certification to get back to the line of work I was in before I moved here. I have a few clients lined up to freelance in the meantime, but we're in the process of sorting out available times and payment. But once I get back to work we'll probably be making similar amounts, with him making a bit more but more. So currently, I bring what savings I had. When we were both working I'd say we made 60/40, with his job paying more, we were ESL teachers at different centers.
I do the majority of chores, I do all the cooking, most of the cleaning, and I do the laundry more frequently than him. He sorts the recycling, and washes the dishes if I've been cooking. The litter box gets cleaned by whoever notices it needs cleaning, and we get groceries together. Don't really know about exact time spent on chores, but I spend more time on them. Which is perfectly reasonable.
I'm not satisfied with being a SAHW. I want to get back to work. He's satisfied with it, I was gone for 2 months and he had to do everything by himself on top of work, so he really appreciates having the house handled.
50/50, but I'm fine with a slightly different situation, depending on how my work hours and workload end up being.

januaryphilosopher · 2023-09-27T16:34:40+00:00

I'm bringing in I think about 75% currently, with us each putting in 80% of what we get. He usually has an hour or so more spare than me on a weekday and spends that time generally doing stuff in the house. We're cool with the general scheme of me working at work more and him working at home more, ideally when he finishes his education he'll work part time and have a better money to free time ratio. Personally I'd be cool with contributing 100% money and like 10% chores (I like to cook) but that's not happening so I just do the share of chores that gives me the same free time as him and pay whatever is needed for us to get by.

bluestjuice · 2023-09-27T16:36:59+00:00

39, non-binary, engaged and cohabitating with a man.

Our incomes are pretty close - we have traded off who was earning more over the time (4 years) we’ve been living together but after the most recent promotions I think I’m about 45% of the pool. We split our mortgage 50/50, and other household bills are divvied up in a way we both find pretty even but are not balanced to the dime - I pay electricity, he pays the mobile bill, etc. We each pay for our own discretionary spending and we trade off on things like groceries or dining out.

We both work full-time hybrid professional careers of 36-44 hours per week.

Housework is fairly evenly split although in practice this works better in the areas we each have our ‘specialty’ than in the general chore pool, because my standards for tidiness and cleanliness are higher than his. I manage 99% of household laundry. He manages 99% of household cooking. We both clean the kitchen (constantly - how do four people generate SO MANY dishes). The kids have responsibility for their own room tidying (at age appropriate levels), cleaning up after themselves, and putting away clean dishes. Child elder also handles folding their own laundry, cleaning their bathroom, and scooping cat litter about 75% of the time. In theory we adults split other tasks evenly (bathrooms, floors, dusting, watering plants, tidying, windows, cat boxes, etc.). We both suck at yardwork generally but he usually does the mowing that gets done.

I handle about 80% of the child and household management tasks - keeping the calendar straight, implementing systems for making sure essential tasks don’t get overlooked, communicating with teachers and extracurricular organizers, following up on shit, planning events, activities, and vacations. The mental load is annoying and time-consuming so this is probably the part I would most like to split more evenly (which is a thing we communicate about and is a work in progress). I do not enjoy being the adultier adult and having every person in the house use me as an external memory system (especially since my own memory is notoriously piecey and I use a variety of tools to keep track of my own self, they should just check the tools themselves!). As far as actually maneuvering/teaching/prepping/consoling/chauffeuring the kids, though, we are both extremely involved.

Zabadoodude · 2023-09-27T17:17:12+00:00

M34 F25

We live seperately, pay our own bills, and do our own chores. No kids, so no childcare. When it comes to dates or shared trips, I pay about 80% of the time, because I make more money and can afford it.

sine120 · 2023-09-27T18:34:20+00:00

For me it's basically 50/50 down the board, which I think is fair. Same amount of money brought in and time spent doing labor at home.

Ok_Smile_60 · 2023-09-27T23:32:20+00:00

My ex and I were together 9 years, married six. After marriage I

1) Had 100% of the income, came into the marriage with over 100k in assets, she came in with 20k in debt.

2) No children, but she cooked and put away the groceries, I did the rest of the chores. Laundry, dishes, trash, bathrooms, mowing, vacuuming, etc

3) Yeah, I didn’t mind. She never bagged me for doing it my way, and I did everything way faster than her and it didn’t stress me like it did her. As for money, I had all that money because I’m a guy who the ‘empty room and a ps5’ meme is true.

4) I didn’t mind the set up

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saraimarsena · 2023-09-27T16:18:55+00:00

maybe about 60/40, idk the exact percentage
don’t have kids atm. laundry we do together, that’s a couple hours every other week. general housekeeping is a mix between me sporadically straightening up throughout the week + a couple hours dedicated cleaning over the weekend. most of the weekend cleaning is done by me when i wake up before he does.
yes it works for us right now
he’s expressed his vision is to take care of rent entirely while i take care of utilities. that would work perfectly for me.

Safinated · 2023-09-27T16:20:31+00:00

He earns and works more, so I do more around the house (managing, repairs, shopping, gardening, upkeep)

We both clean. He does more a little more, because I do most of the cooking

Our finances are pooled

He does slightly more socializing and social planning

If I wasn’t happy with this arrangement I would leave

grillopie · 2023-09-27T16:37:21+00:00

60/40 me at base, maybe a little more if factoring in OT and such.
60/40 her. Maybe more than 60 if you factor in not only time but mental energy as she tracks more stuff than i do.
Yes, not a lot of discussion about it, just arrived at it naturally and shifted around when needed.
I have no real ideal. Her salary is growing faster than mine so I could trade my job in for one where its easier to take time off if needed.

DreaminInChocolate · 2023-09-27T16:44:32+00:00

Please, state your gender, age and marital status

Female, 25, unmarried 9 year relationship

How much do you and your partner bring to the shared budget (in percent)?

He is the only one that works.

Approximately how much time do you and your partner spend on chores and childcare?

He cooks, but I manage the rest of the housework. I am home with the kids during the day. I pick up and drop off the oldest for school. He does homework with him while he cooks dinner. We're both completely hands on during weekends and the time that he's home. I wouldn't say childcare is divided during those times. We both love being with the kids and doing this with them. He's always been a 100% hands on parent when he wasn't in class or studying.

Are you and your partner satisfied with the current division?

Yes.

What would be the ideal ratio for you?

The way things are now. I don't know how you would divide it into numbers, but I see it that we have both put 100% of our time and energy into our family and future. I have no plans of ever financially providing again and he's happy with that. I have always stayed home with the kids during the day. I love doing that. I've always done the majority of the housework. I had the time at home while he was in school. I provided financially until this past month because of his educational commitments. We have both worked constantly whether at home, in class, at a job, or by being involved parents. I bought our house, paid for his education, and supported the family on my own while doing the majority of childcare care and chores. Life is hard. A "fair division" of childcare, chores, and finances isn't always possible. Your partner and yourself being happy with the situation is all that matters. We did what was needed for the stability of our children and the future.

InjectAdrenochrome · 2023-09-27T17:38:12+00:00

I bring in 45% of the income, he brings in 55% if we both work 40 hours, but he's getting several hours of overtime in and I'm not sure how to calculate that just yet. I am also getting a 2nd job in 2 weeks which will add another 30 hrs of work to my schedule. We just moved and both started working new positions, so it's hard to tell.
RN probably about an hour a day each for chores
He wishes I was better at knowing how to organize shit in the house/know what needs to get done, I don't know how to organize anything because I'm ADHD and too retarded to figure it out. There's too much shit, when I lived alone it was much easier bc I knew where everything needed to be and where I wanted shit to be, and there was less crap.
My ideal: I clean the kitchen, do the dishes, vaccuum the floors, clean the bathroom. He cooks, does laundry, and makes the bed/changes the bedsheets. I'm not good at making things look neat and tidy unless there's a blueprint already there to go off of. Edit: he also is a handyman type who fixes the fridge, sink, plumbing, electrical stuff.

AhsokaSolo · 2023-09-27T17:38:55+00:00

F/41/married to 41M

70/30, I earn more
Daughter is a teen so childcare not an issue. I do 95% of appointments and transportation for her. I do probably 70% of chores. He does 90% of home maintenance/yard work. He cooks 95% (though I do help as his assistant).
Yes. I work from home, work fewer hours, and my schedule is flexible because I'm self employed. Our arrangement works for us.
I'd prefer he helped a little more with chores on his days off, but it's not a big deal. When work is stressful this type of thing becomes more stressful. When work isn't stressful, I'm blissfully happy with the arrangement. I think that's pretty standard. Financial stress is the biggest strain on relationships.

literaryhogwartian · 2023-09-27T18:18:00+00:00

Woman, late 30s, married.

We earn similar amounts now but it's switched several times

We have a cleaner and everything else is 60/ 40 with him taking the most as he has more free time. We are both happy with this

howdoiw0rkthisthing · 2023-09-27T18:39:05+00:00

27F, married

I make 100% of the money because he’s a student.

I do almost all the household chores and shopping, probably averaging an hour per day, not counting certain big picture things like budgeting and financial planning. I would say he might do .5-1 hour of chores (usually speed-cleaning the living room or doing dishes) per week, again not including the occasional project. If you throw in running the dog most days you can bump that number up, but that also doubles as his workout.

I’m kind of apathetic about it at this point. He makes a point of saying that he appreciates what I do but he’s usually just not going to help with something unless I specifically ask him to (which I’m learning to do more) and even then he’s going to shortcut it as much as possible. I’ve pushed him to do more at times but there’s always a backslide and I know that even if we make steps toward 50/50 now he’ll eventually make more money and work longer hours and we’ll probably slide back to 95/5 anyway. So I just don’t see the push now to be existential…

But ideally 50/50 would be a dream come true. Hell, 75/25 even.

Novadina · 2023-09-27T18:46:52+00:00

40/F/Married

This has changed multiple times over our 17 year relationship. For many years we made around the same amount, and paid 50/50. We put the same amount in our joint account every month and used that account for shared bills. We spent our own money on our individual hobbies. As time went on, our finances mingled more and more. When we bought our first house, I had the down payment saved up so we used that (I made a bit more than him), he had a job with a W2 while I was a freelancer at that time so we used his income to get approved for a loan. We paid the mortgage 50/50 same as rent. Then I started making even more money, I stopped freelancing and started working for large corps, I wanted more lifestyle upgrades and started paying for those additional things myself (like getting groceries delivered, for example). By now we were pretty much considering all money as “household money”, and got married. I started making a LOT more (like 5x as much) and he went part time to finish some home improvement projects he started but didn’t finish (his job was paying less than it would cost us to hire someone to do it). I wanted to move to a nicer location, and we purchased an expensive house that his job would not be able to pay half of at all. He put his whole check in our shared account, and I divided all our money up between investments and bills. Recently I had the opportunity to buy a business that running would be very similar to his job, so we decided to do that and he quit his job. We are in the process of purchasing that (using money from stocks I get as part of my income), of course at first we may not make much money on it, but eventually he should be able to bring in decent income - maybe about 30-40% of what I make. By now all our money has just been merged for so long we don’t keep track at all of what percent of bills came from whose income, but presently it’s 100% from me temporarily until we get the business transferred and he starts getting income.
We have no kids. We try to spend about the same amount of time on chores, but as my job is vital for us to pay our bills now we do prioritize it, so he tends to do things that would need to happen in the workday, and he wants to do a few things I would just pay someone to do. We do our own laundry, except we wash our socks together. We cook together most nights. We have robot vacuums, I mop occasionally, I manage our finances, he does the landscaping (he enjoys it, and wants to make our land pretty) and house maintenance (he doesn’t like paying people for this and prefers to do it all himself, maybe especially to add some financial value since he feels I pay so much more).
For the most part. I know he sometimes feels a bit bad that he doesn’t contribute as much financially, but I am paid like top 5% so it would be unrealistic to expect him to be able to get that, we never even expected I would be making this! But overall I think we are happy about it. He is especially excited about running his own business and being able to work towards growing it and making more money eventually.

4, 50/50 is ideal for me. But I wanted a higher quality of living with the money I got from my hard work, and I don’t mind paying proportionally with whatever his income is to get it. I plan to be with him for life, no matter what our income each is we will always just find a way to make it work with what we have.

TheRedPillRipper · 2023-09-27T21:07:42+00:00

I’m a male in his thirties, with a wife and three kids. Wife and I have separate finances. I pay all the big bills. Currently just utilities and school fees. Her income is hers. Childcare is roughly 50-50. Though for the most I’m a stay-at-home parent. As I don’t work, and my wife only wants to work part time. Chores roughly 50-50. Though I like things cleaned a certain way. So will spend more time pulling apart, culling and organising the toy room for example. Where as my wife will get the kids to pick everything up for the robovac to come through. We’ve had cleaner’s before, during pregnancy/post partum, but we don’t make enough mess to justify it.

Ideal ratio is if my wife cleaned to my standard. I’ve accepted that’s not going to happen, so worked my schedule around that fact. Finances aren’t an issue. Child care is hard for the opposite reason. We don’t send our 24 month old to daycare, but he needs to socialise. We do a ton of playgroups, but the wife wants him to go a a daycare one day a week. We do the school run for both his sisters. Hang out. Nap. Play. Swim in the pool. It’s hard because he’s getting bigger. Just trying to get as much time in together as we can. My teenager is like a ship in the night. We have dinner together, after dinner if she doesn’t have school work, we play cards. Talk. The middle one just loves playing. So we’re always doing something. All in all very blessed. The time just goes too fast. So one must make the most of it.

Godspeed and good luck!

fucksiclepizza · 2023-09-27T21:21:42+00:00

Married man in my 30s.

I bring in 100% of the income and my wife is SAHM. If I'm at work, she does 100% of both chores and childcare etc. On days off it's split, maybe 70/30 with her doing the 70. We are both happy with how it is currently.

Sillysheila · 2023-09-27T21:44:01+00:00

Female 29, married for 2 years

Question 1: I’m currently transitioning between jobs. I had a lower paid but still fairly well paid job.

My next job is the most I’ve ever made.

My partner (32m) is going to law school to get his JD and I anticipate that he will only work at most 20 hours a week as a law student assistant. I’m looking at bringing in probably…70-80% of the income?

I don’t mind supporting him. He is a good partner and brings in a lot of non monetary value to the relationship.

I intend to pay for more of a split of the household goods including more rent, probably a 60/40 or 70/30 split because honestly I just think this is what’s fair. I don’t tend to believe partners who make less should pay the same amount. I think that just makes it harder for them to save and stuff so it’s not really fair to do strict 50/50 in some cases. I want my husband to be able to still buy fun things and have some savings.

Question 2: I don’t have kids yet so can’t say with regard to childcare.

In regards to chores I think I spend an average of 1 hour on cooking about five nights a week. I spend some time on meal planning and shopping, I also ensure it’s budget friendly, super cheap and that’s one of my main tasks. Probably takes about 3-4 hours for the main shop including fruits and vegetables market. That’s about 9 hours already.

My husband greatly prefers cleaning and is more adept at it than I am so if I was to be honest, I probably don’t do much of this. He’s Mr Clean. He probably does 10-15 hours of this. I’ll pitch in but it’ll only be like 2-5 at most. I’m just not as good. I’m much more of a cook. He does more garden care as well for our small garden, but I’ll do some of this. Maybe 3-4 hours for him and 1-3 hours for me.

Question 3: Sometimes I ask him if he’d like me to do more cleaning but he doesn’t seem super bothered. If he did say that to me though, I would find ways of changing that.

Some people would find it unfair that I do all meal planning, shopping and cooking. I don’t see it this way, because cooking is more of my passion than it is my husband’s. My husband as you saw also does a lot more cleaning.

He can cook bean burritos or spaghetti or other emergency dinners in a pinch but as long as I’m not sick or anything I actually prefer cooking. Even if I’ve had a long day something about slicing stuff is comforting to me.

I also want nutritional balanced things but my husband never wants to cook them lol. He gets full eating a lot of carbohydrates and nothing else, and I’ll get hungry in an hour if I don’t have fats or protein in my meals. So it’s also about meal preference too. I don’t want to only eat tomato sauce on spaghetti but if it was up to him that’s all we’d eat.

I’m satisfied with this now as I’m going to be working more soon so less stuff for me to do at home is fairer. Hubby will be studying from home so he should have more time to tidy things away. If things change though, the division will change. I’m flexible. I’ll probably also have other strategies to cope with me working more. I’m planning to make more meal preps on Sunday for one example.

If he suddenly starts working an intense 50 hour job as a criminal lawyer, I’ll probably help out more at home as I’m working in government and my hours will be only 38. I don’t believe any division should be forever in place, it should be static.

The ideal ratio is the one that works best for us taking into account our work hours. I don’t believe there’s one ideal ratio above all.

blebbyroo · 2023-09-27T22:25:41+00:00

Married, early thirties, female and we have a toddler.

Right now he earns about 80% of our income working two jobs. I work part time 2 days a week from home. I’m also finishing my masters and have 1 more semester until I finish and then enter my field which is desperate for workers so I’m nearly guaranteed a full time position right out of school. I have already been offered work when on placement. Once I have full time work the split will be about 40:60 assuming he doesn’t get a raise though he very well might as he’s trying to switch jobs.

Right now I do about 80% of the cleaning and most the childcare when not in daycare. I do most drop offs most pick ups, on the weekends when he works nights we spend half the day as a family then I do the rest of the care obviously. I do all the cooking.

I’m hoping that when I get back into full time work that he quits his second job so we can spend weekend nights together or go away more.

Yes we are happy with the current division. It’s not ideal having him work so hard and our income be greatly reduced because of my schooling but in the long run it’s going to be worth it.

armpitpics · 2023-09-28T00:34:56+00:00

I bring around 65% of the income, but I work from home some days. I do more cooking on those days. Most other days he does the cooking and I do the cleaning. We clean floors and bathroom 50/50.

MistyMaisel · 2023-09-28T01:02:02+00:00

We don't have kids really. The closest is our chickens and because he lives with them he and his family do the majority of the caregiving and I just help when Im around. I do pay for feed and hay tho when he allows me.
We don't live together so our chore split is mostly...I get his groceries. He fixes our quad. I return shit he buys. I cook meals. He does the driving mostly. I help him with laundry.
We don't have a shared budget. He pays when we're out. I buy his groceries and cook a fancy meal once a week. It's probably 60/40 with me making up the 60.
Ideally we'd move in together soon. Then from there I'd like to be stay at home, but probably working part time is going to be the most feasible ultimately. I'd prefer to handle cooking, admin, laundry, gardening, help with animals, and dishes. He can do mechanical shit, cleaning shit, and heavy yard work, help with animals. If I'm staying at home I'll do the cleaning, but I can admit I'm going to loathe it.

Childcare will be 50/50. I expect an involved father. Working doesn't get you out of it, just determines the hours. Obviously we cover each other during rough times.

Operatesinreality · 2023-09-29T08:30:59+00:00

We don't care, we just act as unit, everything is mixed up. I don't even know about chores or stuff like that. We don't have kids, but we run a rescue action for cats and the work is pretty much 50:50 there.

AriaBabedDrO004 · 2023-09-29T16:05:09+00:00

TBH, ur independence is key. It's tough, IKR, but stay strong. With kids in nursery, u have freedom. It's nbd to work more if he steps up too. Stand ur ground, sis.

Fastenedhotdog55 · 2023-10-01T06:48:18+00:00

I do everything, even my subscription payments for my Eva AI virtual gf app.

LabyrinthianPrincess · 2023-10-01T14:32:04+00:00

Female, 30, married. We have a 6 month old and a 2 year old. We also have a maid so during the week neither of us does much chores or cooking.

My husband brings in 100% of income. I do 75% of childcare and all overnight baby care, and I also do bills, paperwork, appointments and accounting/compliance work for our small software consultancy. Weekends I do 70% of the chores and 60% of the childcare but he walks the dog (they are long walks and I do NOT want to go on those so it’s a good split).

We are satisfied with the current division because our overarching principle is that we need to spend around the same amount of time “working” for the family, whether it’s income generation, housework, business admin or childcare. And this division more or less achieves that. There is not a glaring gap between how long I work and how long he works.

When my children need me less I will go back to work for our consultancy, as I’m also a software engineer by trade.

onirroc · 2023-09-27T16:14:10+00:00

Married man.

We each make about $50k.

We are pretty equal with childcare, I do more with the teen and middle child, she does more for the youngest.

With chores it varies, she probably does a bit more since sge usually cooks. I tend to make up for it by being the organizer of things, taking care of most financial stuff, etc. I also do more for the pets.

Title	How do you divide financial responsibility, chores and childcare in your relationships?
Author	SianOiseau
Upvotes	4
Comments	84
Date	September 27, 2023 4:04 PM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/16toild/how_do_you_divide_financial_responsibility_chores/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/how-do-you-divide-financial-responsibility-chores.1233202 https://theredarchive.com/post/1233202

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