If women feel they work too much its because sometimes they burden themselves

Economy-Shake-1448 · 2023-11-25T22:11:21+00:00

It’s all fun and games until there are roaches and ants.

ornamentalwallpaper · 2023-11-25T22:21:12+00:00

Then you'll live throat deep in shit. It's the "whoever cares less has power" type of problem.

I am a swine like you, so dishes can be dirty for months, but usually women don't want to live in these conditions.

Daft__Odyssey · 2023-11-25T22:33:08+00:00

Well, it depends on the circumstances.

If I'm the one who's working, then yeah I would like for her to make herself busy and productive, and if that means keeping the house together (clean, laundry, etc) so be it.

Can't be with someone who doesn't make an effort in some way or form.

I agree there's no force involved, but if the effort doesn't come from a genuine place as in she feels compelled to contribute rather than feeling forced there's something wrong with her. The wanting to keep the house together must come from an appreciation for the other partner.

ComfortableJeans · 2023-11-25T22:10:20+00:00

I've noticed this, too. I think it's some sort of woe is me martyrdom in some people's minds.

Where everything needs to be done in the most needlessly high effort, inefficient, overly complicated, unnecessarily difficult, and unpleasant way possible in order to make themselves the biggest victim possible.

All logic, sense, and reason go out the window in order to exploit the opportunity to complain later. Ignoring the fact that they themselves did something stupidly against advice.

A lot of the time, the burdens where never burdens in the first place, but self constructed nonsense in order to have some pseudo burden to better view yourself as the hard done by, exploited victim later on.

As an example.

I used to do a lot of construction, and on this team, we had a woman who would DEMAND that we sweep up after phase of what we were doing. So, say we were smashing mortar off of a wall. She would get in a huff and take it on herself to then go and shovel up all the mortar, sweep up all the mortar dust and wheel barrow it all out into the skip. Then, proceed to bitch and moan about all the clean up and how unfair it is that she works so hard.

Numerous times, we'd explain to her that you simply throw a scrap plank onto the ground, flip a broom on it's head and push the chunks of mortar to the door and outside, where then a JCB (A big digger machine) would just drop them in the skip for you. And that sweeping up was silly because we were going to use an angle grinder to smooth out the floor where the wall was anyway, so the place will be smothered in dust again in less than 10 minutes.

But it would be like speaking to a wall. She'd already decided that she was going to be the hard done by woman. And that was that.

She'd spend an hour busting her shit for nothing, even when we'd ask her not to.

I've seen this type of behaviour with a lot of women. In household chores, in refusing to just say what they want and why. As though there's some secret glee in being taken advantage of, even when everyone around you is begging you not to. As though they're counting down the seconds until they can take a big sigh loud enough for everyone to hear and storm off.

Just use your words and say what's wrong so we can talk about it.

Eventually, you just figure, "Whatever, it's your time you're wasting."

Zabadoodude · 2023-11-25T22:01:48+00:00

What often happens is there is a mismatch in what chores they think are needed and when. If people address this and compromise, it can usually be solved, but many come at it with the attitude that they want the tasks that are objectively necessary, and their partner's approach is just wrong.

IneffablyEffed · 2023-11-26T01:05:43+00:00

In my experience women's dissatisfaction over division of home labor comes not from doing too much, but from not noticing or valuing the contributions their partners make.

Bekiala · 2023-11-26T00:00:35+00:00

There certainly is over-functioning. I sure find myself doing this sometimes.

Secure-Ad-421 · 2023-11-26T00:18:17+00:00

Yeah the main place you’re gonna run into trouble is if your partner doesn’t give a shit about things being clean. Some people freak the fuck out about messes and others do not notice them.

Frankly merging lives is fucking insane to me.

Luciansleep · 2023-11-26T05:27:44+00:00

Uh the point is that self reports are also known for not being as reliable? If you didn’t get that then idk.

No-Rough-7390 · 2023-11-25T22:18:30+00:00

Few things: first, I’d say women (especially ones who have lived alone) have some OCD about tasks that is unhealthy. They’ve developed “their way” and that is the default “correct way”. If a guy doesn’t address this early on, I blame him, but otherwise it’s not a mature way to cohabitate.

B) in terms of work (as in paid job) I see over and over again women wasting time stressing about a task(s) as opposed to getting said task done. Then when they start to do it, the anxiety is two fold when it was a result of wasting time.

januaryphilosopher · 2023-11-25T22:46:19+00:00

The thing is, leaving it if your partner doesn't do it often leaves to living in filth. I think you underestimate how manipulative men can be about it.

windowsfrozenshut · 2023-11-26T02:39:01+00:00

It's just an inherent trait with high strung, and even type-a, women. You can eliminate every single problem in their life, and they will still find somefuckingthing to stress out about. They can't switch it off. I have an ex who is like that, and she is the type where you could hand her a $100 bill and she would stress out about it not being in 20's and how she can't use it because some places won't break a 100.

GGMcThroway · 2023-11-26T00:23:38+00:00

Yep. Women should just leave if they're not happy in a relationship. If they're tethered, they should work towards getting to a point where they can leave.

It's a shame the sheer number of men that can't clean up like functional adults, but it's not on women to mother them into being functional adults. Women are better off staying single than being stuck in relationships like that.

thedarkracer · 2023-11-25T22:12:42+00:00

Yes and when they stop entertaining is when most men will. realise the problem

wtknight · 2023-11-25T22:42:03+00:00

You don't have to. You don't have to clean up after your man. If he calls you petty then he's not the man for you.

Most women can't put up with disorganized filth for as long as men can.

MateriallyAttatched · 2023-11-26T02:48:56+00:00

You guys are all pussies.

I turn on the air vent and heat up a glass pipe and take a hit of highly potent plant butter. As soon as the molecules bind to my brain's receptors, it's time to whip out the paper-towels and spray-bottle and start cleaning the bathroom.

Once the bathroom is spotless, it's time to sweep the kitchen. I grab a clean rag and wipe down the counter-tops; if it's really messy then I use a spray-bottle. Wiping all the crumbs and debris down to the floor, it then goes into the dust-pan.

In the late-afternoon, I lay out the ingredients that I plan on cooking. I make sure to use ingredients that are optimal for my body's health, but at the same time not too restrictive and dogmatic. As I cook, I routinely do small waves of dishes as they appear.

After eating, I do all the dishes, not leaving a single one left outside the drying-rack or dishwasher. Once all the dishes are drying, it's time to do a final wipe of the counter-top to clear out all the fluids and food-scraps. Once it's all in the sink, I use the head of the kitchen faucet to clear everything down the drain; henceforth switching on the trash-compactor once the sink is clear. I wash my hands with soap while the trash-compactor is spinning. Once I dry my hands, I switch off the trash-compactor.

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EulenWatcher · 2023-11-25T22:30:12+00:00

It's important to seek a compromise and sometimes it does mean to lower your cleanliness level a bit. Some people should learn to let it go and just...don't do things you haven't been asked to do or that aren't even appreciated by the receiving party.

The hard part here is to establish what a reasonable ground is, as people can have extremely different standards with little to no compromise in-between which is an indicator of incompatibility and can be a good ground for a break-up.

Cethlinnstooth · 2023-11-26T01:27:08+00:00

I think that big fusses creating huge social expectations before moving in together make it harder to deal with. Engagement party, having your friends or family help you move, wedding, ending a relationship just before starting the new one and moving out...all that shit puts too much pressure on conscientious people not to just let the place be foul or just kick the squalid lover to the curb.

People say (quite rightly) that you should live together before marriage but all those other things also create social expectation that a squalid partner might leverage.

kochIndustriesRussia · 2023-11-26T02:25:13+00:00

Sometimes? Lol. God bless them for their efforts but, that is the female creature - desirous of burdens: men...children...working and raising children...keeping the (extended) family together...following artificial beauty standards...worrying about their weight/skin/hair/etc...they literally don't have to burden themselves with any of those things... but they like to. They're bored otherwise.

SmallSituation6432 · 2023-11-26T03:59:03+00:00

While I get your point, there are real problems with this mentality. Nobody wants a date someone constantly throwing out ultimatums like "do the dished next time or I quit" That kind of thing can easily in and of itself be very disrespectful to your partner. Maybe these other women's relationships don't meet your idea of respectful, but that doesn't mean they have to start issuing ultimatums or shut up and stop complaining, which seems to be the tone of your last comment there.

mrcs84usn · 2023-11-26T05:45:12+00:00

I refuse to live with someone who doesn’t show that they give two shits about the basic upkeep of the space.

Safinated · 2023-11-26T07:39:52+00:00

I agree that women should dump men more often for being lazy and/or slobs

ComfortableOk5003 · 2023-11-26T08:49:34+00:00

Am I weird but I keep seeing this shit about dishes…most houses I go into have dishwashers…

tawny-she-wolf · 2023-11-26T09:11:12+00:00

I agree, but it usually takes a while to get there unless your family raised you this way.

onivore · 2023-11-26T14:09:52+00:00

Or just buy a dishwasher. Problem solved.

I'm in a 50/50 type of relationship where things aren't really half-and-half. My man loathes doing the dishes or any type of housework for that matter, as he doesn't deem it necessary, so I have to do it myself. Every time I ask him to do something, anything to contribute at least a little to maintaining a clean house environment, he would either say, "Yeah, I'll do it later." (and the dirty dishes remain in the sink for days until I can't bear the sight anymore, so I give up on waiting and clean them as usual) or if I openly voice my dissatisfaction with how unfair this dynamic is, he would mention something along the lines of "I'm not forcing you to do the dishes now, am I?". True, but we can't live submerged in filth, so somebody has to do it.

If it's not going to be you, and it's getting too much for me, why not leave it to the dishwasher?

I swear, ever since we moved to a new apartment with a dishwasher, we haven't had any issues regarding our roles at home. I still do the cleaning, but even that can be solved by a robot cleaner some day.

rindpickles · 2023-11-26T17:12:10+00:00

And yet, when men get left for being burdens, women get blamed for fixing their problem

thisreallyisnotok · 2023-11-26T21:55:21+00:00

No they won’t do this because the entire point is that some women do work their man doesn’t ask for so they can use it as leverage for manipulation later.

I highly suggest everyone keep track of things your partner does for you that you do care about and things your partner does you don’t care about and watch out if your partner becomes resentful for doing things for the couple that you personally could care less about.

Title	If women feel they work too much its because sometimes they burden themselves
Author	Logical_Round_5935
Upvotes	7
Comments	66
Date	November 25, 2023 9:55 PM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/183umdu/if_women_feel_they_work_too_much_its_because/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/if-women-feel-they-work-too-much-its-because.1239335 https://theredarchive.com/post/1239335

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