I would assume every lady would ultimately want to date a guy she can confide in with her darkest secrets just as guys want the same with women ( and it blows my mind how many long term relationships involve such poor communication and inauthenticity )

However I can’t help but notice that when women confide in my and raise deep and vulnerable topics, something else is lost - the sexual undertones - as it begins to feel more like we’re close friends than potential lovers. This isn’t always the case - I once went from talking about childhood abuse to having sex with them a few minutes later ( sounds a bit wrong when I put it that way ) but just overall.

Also when women begin to talk about past relationships or other guys who are trying to talk to pursue them etc I’m never quite sure if they’re trying to provoke envy or test how I react, or if they see me as a gay best friend or if they just trust me enough to be open but still see me as a potential partner.

I like deep and vulnerable conversation and superficial shit - even flirting - bores me, so I gravitate toward the deep end, however I’ve been actively trying to avoid it lately for the above reasons. And what topics do you try to avoid (or focus on)?

Am I overthinking this shit or have you noticed the same thing ?

And assuming that it does what should a guy do besides trying to constantly steer the conversation away from anything with depth toward light banter and flirting until you’re actually dating?

Also why the fuck does it kill the sexual tension.. shouldn’t connecting emotionally increase sexual desire for someone ?