What differences are there between dating or hooking up when you are in your 20’s compared to when you are in your 30’s?

spacejam_is_myjam · 2022-07-30T17:40:46+00:00

In much of my 20s I never had success with the young early 20s girls. Now in my mid 30s those same girls in that age range throw themselves at me. I still look pretty young, still in the same average shape, but more money, nicer car, more relaxed, less desperate.

Difficult_Ad_8299 · 2022-07-30T17:32:19+00:00

In my 20s hook up we’re bad. In my 30s they are good

No_Country7045 · 2022-07-30T16:47:14+00:00

For me there's been no change at all, seeing as I couldn't get a date in my 20s and I still can't get a date in my 30s... 🤣

FakeSafeWord · 2022-07-30T21:59:38+00:00

More single mothers, divorcees, drug addicts/alcoholics, intentional infidelity without guilt and/or out of malice.

It's weird up here and I kind of like it.

DontCallMeTopher · 2022-07-30T17:56:36+00:00

If you’ve taken care of yourself and put the work in to improve yourself it should get easier, that’s been my experience. Also I’m more used to women’s bullshit and I won’t be arsed out of a night of quality sleep to play along with a girl’s games

P7o7s7t7a7l · 2022-07-30T15:56:04+00:00

I'd say after about twenty five it's basically the same. With age there's less and less opportunity unless I date younger as opposed to my own age. That's the biggest difference.

trbd003 · 2022-07-30T18:45:27+00:00

Guy perspective: A lot of it depends on your outlook on kids.

See when you're in your 20s, the girls are looking for fun. I don't mean fun like they just want casual sex. But I mean fun like you make them feel good about themselves, you travel places together, you do great things together. Your view on kids doesn't really matter because they're not expecting you to father their kids. For some couples, it'll happen. Others will fizzle out. It's OK because it's a time when you're learning who you are. You mature a lot in your 20s and your relationships change because your process of maturing will often not match those of your partners and whilst you'll start close, you'll mature apart, and that's OK because it's to be expected. Some people marry their first love and they have kids together, but nobody expects it.

In your 30s, girls become aware that there's a biological clock ticking. Those who want kids have probably realised it by the time they're 30. We are leaving kids later than previous generations - largely because of things like financial security not being what they were but also because aspirations change with regards to things like travel - but women who want kids (a largely biological thing, not a choice) will still want to have kids when they're at an age where they can healthily support them. What's more, evolution still plays a key part - they still want to attract the best mate. So women who want kids will often want to find their mating partner before their body begins to put obstacles in the way. IME and from general research, I'd say most women who want kids, want to aim for having them by about 35. So, working backwards, if we assume people want a few romantic summer breaks together where they can have incredible sex and cocktails in bed and late night dining on the beach whilst looking hot in their holiday snaps... By 31-33 a significant portion of women you meet are basically thinking that if you go on a date with them with romantic intent, you need to be a suitable father for their children.

This has the biggest implication for guys who don't want kids. You've gotta just swerve the question for the first few dates, and if it comes (and you're holding out for a shag) you've basically got to lie. Something like "Its not my main interest at the moment but I'm not against it if I meet the right person" seems to feel better than a total red faced lie of "oh yeah definitely" and doesn't run the risk of them saying they don't and you immediately regretting lying. And at some point - if you respect them - you gotta let them go, because they need to find a man who wants kids, and if you know you're never going to be that guy, to deprive them from their biggest biological right is very selfish. I would say 9/10 girls who, on the first date, ask if you want kids - want kids; they are filtering out the total no-goers. They don't want to fall for you and then get into a relationship that they love but can't produce the thing their body is yearning for because they know it'll only end up in them having to lose one of them. It's easier to lose you now, than after you've fallen in love. So if you're going to lie because she's beautiful and amazing and says all the right things and wants all the same things as you except kids - keep it light and don't let it go too far, for her sake even if not yours.

As for hooking up, IME you gotta keep yourself looking sharp. Most women have some social anxiety to some extent and as they age, they will become more anxious at their ability to attract men. So whilst they may look to date the potential father, hooking up with hot guys will give them a bit of short term self-affirmation that they can still get a hottie and they're not going to have to settle for a mediocre Mr Sensible just yet. Everyone likes to know they've still got "it" and nothing makes us feel good about our bodies quite like going to bed with a stranger that we'd normally consider out of our league.

If looking sharp is tough for you (it is for a lot of people - working hard, working away, trying to make enough money to not be a perpetual renter and not having to work until you die; often means less favourable diets and lack of energy to hit the gym afterwards... And age only compounds the issue) then hook ups will be tough. And if you don't want kids, relationships will be tough. And for a lot of people, therein lies the start of an involuntary 20-year sex hiatus whilst you let all the women have kids with the blokes they think are perfect, get into a dead bedroom routine, eventually get divorced, and then become available for some seriously hormonally charged comeback sex at the weekends that their kids are at their dads' place. At this point the nice house and sports car that you bought with all the money that not having kids meant you could keep hold of, become assets rather than liabilities, and you can go for round 2...

GhostRider377 · 2022-07-30T15:43:21+00:00

You have to be careful when you fart on a date because it might end ip being diarrhea.

LONEWOLFF150 · 2022-07-30T21:03:41+00:00

Same but with back pain

Rheastar · 2022-07-30T22:45:40+00:00

Yes. There are lots of changes. Much fewer people to date in your thirties and beyond as most people are already married and having kids. So your dating pool shrinks considerably.

dump_fool · 2022-07-30T17:21:22+00:00

The mileage.

globohomoremover · 2022-07-30T22:35:13+00:00

The quality of mates in your 30s significantly declines, and almost all of them have high body counts and loose morals

substock · 2022-07-31T02:25:55+00:00

I've gotten more pussy in the first two years of my 30s than I ever did in my 20s. Treat your body right and you'll be golden

GorgeJefferson · 2022-07-31T02:08:40+00:00

I wasn't in my twenties, especially early twenties. Now that I'm in my early thirties it's way easier to catch the attention of women even though I'm not in quite as good shape. Most girls would gladly trade the self absorbed tools that most of us were in our twenties for a man who has matured. Even if it means trading the jock abs for ten pounds of belly. Me personally, early on I was there to bust a nut, now I can say I get half my enjoyment from giving her as good a time as I can.

kidrockpasta · 2022-07-31T03:25:02+00:00

In my early 30s. Every girl now seems to be on a mission for a husband and kids. Ain't no one seem to waste time, it's a very quick "yes he's dad/husband quality" or a "next".

I routinely get asked about my relationships with my relatives, my views on kids... that sort of stuff all the time. I've literally had girls ask if I've wanted kids before a first date even.

Seems like ain't no one got a second to enjoy the journey.

Jasonhardon · 2022-07-30T21:08:48+00:00

It becomes easier in your 30s due to experience. Although some people never learn 😅

Lukezoftherapture777 · 2022-07-31T01:14:59+00:00

Back pain

ilovefootball49 · 2022-07-31T01:24:50+00:00

I had a lot of one night stands in my 20's not doing very well in my 30's. Chicks really start demanding things like marriage and children, even sometimes on the first date. I live in a suburban area feel like I need to get out of here move to LA or NY. Not much time left before being single at my age just raises huge red flags. I'd like a relationship but also want some fun not too many attractive women left.

rjones416 · 2022-07-31T04:16:20+00:00

a lot of lonely single moms in their 30s that need the D.

CanUnusual8729 · 2022-07-30T18:42:08+00:00

20’s I slept around way more. Partially because I didn’t have a lot of responsibility and I partied more, so I had more opportunities to meet girls. Now in my early thirties I’ve realized through others feedback that I’m more attractive than I was then and I can feel it. I tend to get more attention, more of those “looks” from girls so I guess I don’t look too old yet for it to be a turn off. But I don’t try as hard, I have a busy life and less free time/energy, and I just don’t care as much. The sex is better (you get better with experience), but I don’t have that same tunnel vision for pussy like I did in my twenties.

Top_Speaker_481 · 2022-07-30T21:28:25+00:00

I'm 27 but I have always dated older women I don't like women in my age group at 17 I dated a 37 year old woman and at 22 I dated a 49 year old

recyclablebanthas · 2022-07-31T06:31:18+00:00

What differences are there between dating or hooking up when you are in your 20’s compared to when you are in your 30’s?

And beyond your 30’s if there is any change in the dating scene?

I mean, things are always changing.

If you really want an answer that's meaningful to you, can you elaborate:

What kind of differences are you really asking about here?
And what prompted this whole line of questioning?

SmallDonut0 · 2022-07-31T04:25:14+00:00

In my early 20s we just focused on partying and good time.. now it's a fine line between that and real world issues/actually having a connection outside of a "good time"

I'm lucky enough to be engaged tho.. but it was different than my early Years, no doubt

Bejliii · 2022-07-31T05:30:45+00:00

A fun thing to mention, is that the changes begin to appear after the age of 25. A man's value only goes up, a woman's value in the dating market only goes downhill, especially if they have played with their options and cut them down.

Sandvicheater · 2022-07-31T03:32:16+00:00

Chicks in their 30s know their eggs are about to dry up soon so they wanna hook up with any decent man at that point

pensivemindtime · 2022-07-31T06:02:04+00:00

I think for most guys, our teens and 20s are developmental in nature and once we approach and hit our 30s we’re more refined, if we’ve taken the time to stumble, fall and pick ourselves up. Our confidence, looks and finances tend to increase as compared to our formative years. That, combined with the simple fact that you’re 30 years and above, to these 20 something chicas does tend to side in your favor. We as men must remember that we age into our bodies and minds and prime in a different manner than women. Women are born valuable (looks, reproductive organs, etc) men must forge themselves.

MentalCelOmega · 2022-07-30T18:10:24+00:00

There is no change for dating in your 20s and into your 30s. With the exception of one. To date in your 30s, you need years of prior experience and be financially stable with a stable job that is making around six figures. If you had no experience in dating in your 20s for a variety of reasons, then they will think something is wrong with you and will reject you.

Jmilly87 · 2022-07-30T19:37:18+00:00

When you’re 30 nobody fucking likes you anymore. That’s the difference.

HarrytheMuggle · 2022-07-30T21:49:11+00:00

Summing up 2 comments I’ve seen: if confidence is an issue, try shrooms. .2 if you’re nervous. .5-1.2 for a good exp. 1.2 unlocked some answers for me that I’ve spent a year addressing, and coincidentally made women not a priority.

To give a vague summary, love yourself first and work on yourself first. Women will see that energy and be drawn to you. I rarely go out and am just finally getting back to where women can be a top 5 priority. The energy you put out is the energy you get back. I’m a lot more observant of the signals like looks, body language, etc. where doors are open, but also the ones that would take effort to crack. Personally I enjoy the latter and I can 100% say introspection on shrooms has helped me in this whole realm.

Source: history of extreme anxiety and trauma that is 90% less of an issue than it used to be

TheDylanJames · 2022-07-30T21:16:47+00:00

Not much depending on if you’ve had kids or been married

Ambitious-Ice2357 · 2022-07-30T22:35:32+00:00

None. It’s all amazing and there’s few things more fun then ONS

argusboy · 2022-07-31T21:57:02+00:00

You get older, the women stay the same age.

Title	What differences are there between dating or hooking up when you are in your 20’s compared to when you are in your 30’s?
Author	LaughableEgo740
Upvotes	182
Comments	128
Date	July 30, 2022 3:20 PM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/wbzvhk/what_differences_are_there_between_dating_or/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/what-differences-are-there-between-dating-or.1253234 https://theredarchive.com/post/1253234

Comments