How do I initiate something with my boyfriend if I get nervous every time I try to?

strangebuttru · 2022-06-17T04:49:25+00:00

like other things that can be scary, fight through the nerves. there's fun on the other side.

ask him to be specific about what he likes. that'll give you a bit of a roadmap and may help quelle the jitters.

also figure out what you're actually nervous about. worried about messing up? hurting him? looking goofy?

MAsculineMadness · 2022-06-17T04:37:51+00:00

Sit on his lap

OnceTuna · 2022-06-17T06:44:34+00:00

[permanently deleted]

Lucky-Mustard · 2022-06-17T05:04:18+00:00

Well go to your/his room. Put a movie on a laptop,sit on a bed, get closer, kiss, make out, keep doing it , things will go that way..

Not the most amazing way, but u can have a beer just in case, to..relax the tension and have an excuse for whatever will happen.

LucianU · 2022-06-17T05:02:44+00:00

Make it easier on yourself by setting the stage for it to happen. For example, watch a movie together and cuddle. While cuddling, you might like to play with his hair, or touch his face, or something that will get you closer together.

Also, can you tell why you feel nervous? Maybe it's something you can discuss about with him. If you think you can't discuss it with him, why is that? (You don't have to answer these questions here. Answer them for yourself).

Hermes_Godoflurking · 2022-06-17T07:22:44+00:00

As the great Doctor says "Try and be all nervous and rubbish and a bit shaky. Why? Because you're going to be like that, anyway. You might as well make it part of the plan then it will feel on purpose, off you go then."

Stormpooperz · 2022-06-17T07:08:51+00:00

Accidentally airdrop this post to his phone, or Android it or whatever androidians do

PhantaumAss · 2022-06-17T08:50:11+00:00

"Wanna fuck?"

rushopolisOF · 2022-06-17T13:36:23+00:00

Just read his mind. Then you'll know exactly what he wants you to do 😉

Micp · 2022-06-17T19:09:36+00:00

How can I make the first move without being so nervous about it?

In short: you can't. You will be nervous and that's okay.

He's your boyfriend and you love each other - it's okay to be vulnerable in front of each other.

I would say the best way to deal with nervousness is to acknowledge it and perhaps even laugh at it in a "this is silly" kind of way.

Acknowledging that you're nervous will also show him that it's okay for him to show that he's nervous, which he 100% will be.

Take it slow, get comfortable with each other and remember sex is supposed to be fun, intimate and safe and for the love of good remember to communicate: communicate your wants and needs, what is good and if something is not good how it can be better (focus on the positive).

There's (presumably) only two people in the room, and you love each other. As long as you take care of each other physically and emotionally you can basically do no wrong. Remember sex is not something you win or fail at. There's no scoreboard. If you focus on having fun you can make as many mistakes as you want - eventually you'll be having a good time.

Scc88 · 2022-06-17T14:42:13+00:00

get a couple of tequila shots while watching a movie and yall going to be loosy goosy. Have fun!

Far-Difference6591 · 2022-06-17T15:42:17+00:00

While sitting down watching TV, just put your hands on it.. rub gently and smile at him. Even the dumbest of us guys will get that hint. And appreciate the heck out of you too Everytime. I guarantee you

dud230 · 2022-06-17T05:00:19+00:00

Touch his thighs

KingRemu · 2022-06-17T11:12:42+00:00

Sounds like you need to get more comfortable with your BF. Me and my first GF, although we were both 17 at the time, did hand stuff for months before having intercourse so the first time was actually really comfortable and enjoyable for the both of us.

2022-06-17T12:54:11+00:00

So I was in a similar position actually. When my girlfriend of almost 3 years now and I started dating, things were a little shakey because of the trauma her ex boyfriend had put her through and he had also sexually abused her. She had made it clear she wanted to just that she wasn't ready. It took a couple months, being accepting of her space and not pushing her. One night we both were drinking wine and I think that helped her calm her nerves a lot. Before anyone says anything, there was clear and definitive consent neither party was in a drunken stupor.

It helped her a lot and there hasn't been a problem since then. It could be something for both of you to try, you go at the pace of the slowest person with this. Put on a movie, have a nice dinner together, some wine, cuddle, and just let it happen.

brothersanta · 2022-06-17T13:03:50+00:00

Wear a sundress or a short skirt. Take his hand, look into his eyes, and then rub yourself on his fingers. Or walk around naked lol

bushcrapping · 2022-06-17T12:08:15+00:00

Don't think of sex as the end goal.

Say to each other look we are getting naked now and we are going to do things for and with eachother but it's not going to be sex.

Me and my gf do this sometimes and the suspense is amazing and leads to some of. Our hottest experiences. It also helps you learn a lot about each others bodies.

2022-06-17T14:16:49+00:00

Rub his crotch when you’re sitting next to him. He’ll get the idea.

Kadabrium · 2022-06-17T15:29:20+00:00

jukebox83 · 2022-06-17T17:06:04+00:00

Although there are MANY ways to initiate intimacy with a partner, it is important that we take some time to deal with what we are feeling first.

For example, you mentioned that you were feeling nervous. What if what you are feeling in those moments is excitement instead? How does that change your "in the moment" experience? Can you give yourself some quick reasons to be excited in that moment? More importantly, how can you let those feelings (no matter what they are), be okay?

Once you can learn to start shifting the internal story you are telling yourself about what and how you are feeling, the world better watch out! LoL

donaldtrumpsmistress · 2022-06-17T17:10:51+00:00

Lmfao y'all had live together, had a convo like 'we should prob start having sex' they agreed, then y'all just shook hands and parted ways?

2022-06-17T17:25:54+00:00

You’re so cute!! Just be dressed in some sexy lingerie when he gets home sometime.

Superb-Bank9899 · 2022-06-17T17:38:32+00:00

Flash him some skin or place his hand on a delicate place so you are initiating, but he still takes control so you do not become nervous

bogues04 · 2022-06-17T19:37:36+00:00

Tell him you want him to fuck you while you are making out. This should get his blood flowing lol. I know it might be hard to say but sometimes direct is the best approach.

daddysgotanew · 2022-06-17T19:55:00+00:00

Just ask. It’s really not that hard

OJSimpsons · 2022-06-17T20:08:52+00:00

Just be honest with him about it. He probably feels the same way. I feel like its easier to relax once you get stuff like that off your chest. Take your time if you're nervous, have fun!

Fearless-Apricot-712 · 2022-06-17T20:34:45+00:00

Just wear something sexy. Show alot of cleavage. Don't wear a bra. That will arouse him

LowMajor2644 · 2022-06-17T22:06:49+00:00

When you’re making out, just let it flow naturally. Press into him. Put your hands where you want. Put his hands where you want. Let go. Let loose. Be one.

theLegomadhatter · 2022-06-17T22:20:33+00:00

I try to just go 3 2 1 then I do what I’m thinking about. And handle the consequences after

g59fieroboi · 2022-06-17T07:29:02+00:00

Drink some wine with him and start making out.

WilhelmTrooper · 2022-06-17T16:13:26+00:00

Get him to sit down with you and have an adult conversation about what you both like and don’t like in sex, or if one of you or neither of you haven’t had sex yet, then talk to each other about what you want to try, what you don’t want to try. I’ve heard people say that can “kill the mood”, but what sexier than respectful maturity?

Mundane_Natural5131 · 2022-06-17T16:37:48+00:00

Just grab him by the pussy

lItsAutomaticl · 2022-06-17T09:31:41+00:00

Try giving him head, first. Make out with him, just start moving down and caress & kiss his chest, start touching him "down there", go in for the kill and pull it out gently. Find an opening to say "I really want to suck your dick", say it with a smile and a bit of a laugh. If he's uncomfortable or weird about it that is 100% on him and not your fault at all, honestly. But he probably won't be.

Ok-Temperature2256 · 2022-06-17T16:27:33+00:00

Tell him to take his pants off so you can give him CPR. Now you will have say it in an urgent and authoritative tone, that way he knows you really care.

yuckyuck13 · 2022-06-17T15:52:55+00:00

Many comments have alluded to this but I'll simplify it. Start small and slowly build up to where you feel comfortable. Hopefully he'll start learning to pick up on your signals.

bigm5995 · 2022-06-17T16:06:57+00:00

put on a robe wear nothing underneath it and open it in front of him see how that works.

SnooSprouts2672 · 2022-06-17T16:23:48+00:00

Get drunk first.

No-Historian-6391 · 2022-06-17T10:42:53+00:00

Your 28 year old bf should be able to take control of the situation and fuck you. He should be the one asking for advice if at this point (in his life and this relationship) he can’t man up.

Tell him you want to have sex.

2022-06-17T04:39:36+00:00

Thin_Protection5616 · 2022-06-17T06:48:08+00:00

Find a boyfriend who isn't a massive pussy and let him handle the rest

SilkTouchm · 2022-06-17T15:26:57+00:00

How the fuck are you in a relationship with someone and not had sex yet? if you hadn't said your age I'd think you're both 13-16.

Lower_Meringue1739 · 2022-06-17T09:10:40+00:00

Touch his crotch

Weird_Stop_8673 · 2022-06-17T04:37:19+00:00

Your bf isn’t for you if he’s not initiating with you first. The first move is for him

Edit; oh my god This thread amazes me with how little knowledge they have 🤣🤣🤣

epimpstyle · 2022-06-17T08:40:59+00:00

That's funny :-)

Albanian_bro1919 · 2022-06-17T15:16:32+00:00

Touch his thigh with yours

2022-06-17T16:18:21+00:00

Make sure you are hygenic down there and then have some music a glass of wine dance strip one another and have fun. Do not have a goal in mind just experience one another

Fluffy_Risk9955 · 2022-06-17T17:09:44+00:00

If you freeze up don’t do it.

DestinyChitChat · 2022-06-17T18:10:31+00:00

Is he just not escalating things?

mtgxbuster · 2022-06-17T18:19:54+00:00

Sounds like you're not ready to have sex to begin with

H8beingmale · 2022-06-17T18:37:50+00:00

how long have you and him been together now? shocked you would ask this question, since girls are normally allowed to be passive

iJuiiCe_x · 2022-06-17T19:31:40+00:00

Alcohol and alone time

Title	How do I initiate something with my boyfriend if I get nervous every time I try to?
Author	Cngordon555
Upvotes	242
Comments	104
Date	June 17, 2022 4:26 AM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/ve4l1a/how_do_i_initiate_something_with_my_boyfriend_if/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/how-do-i-initiate-something-with-my-boyfriend-if-i.1256855 https://theredarchive.com/post/1256855

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