If you’re out with someone, and she begins becomes less talkative, doesn’t smile as much, gives shorter answers, and doesn’t maintain eye contact, it means her level of attraction in the present moment is low.

Women don’t play ‘hard to get’— if they are attracted to someone, they will show it in some manner, even if they are more shy or reserved. If they shut down, it is a reliable indicator that they currently aren’t enjoying being around you, whatever the reason may be.

Confused, guys will try to compensate by being more talkative, make more jokes, attempting to make her laugh and reverse course. While you should always have a lighthearted attitude towards things, getting her to laugh isn’t the best approach.

When you’re trying to put your best foot forward, have fun, carry the conversation, and you’re getting little back, it’s an unpleasant experience. If it becomes a consistent pattern throughout the night, there is no point pretending that you’re having a good time any more.

Mirror her behavior. Give short answers, use less eye contact and appear disinterested by looking elsewhere, limit your smiling. You’re not being manipulative in this instance, youre being truthful with how you feel. Trying to interact without someone who is cold and is giving nothing back emotionally is miserable. You don’t need to be rude or complain, just don’t hide the fact you’re really not having fun. No one should be expected to have fun with someone who visibly doesn’t want to be there.

Once this happens, she may adjust her behavior, because she sees you’re not willing to hold up the conversation for the sake of being polite and you have standards of how to be treated. However if a girl is constantly vacillating between hot and cold, she either has a low level of attraction to you, or she seeks attention. At this point, you want to reassess if you want to have her around. In most cases, the answer is no.

The same applies to texting. When a woman becomes less responsive, or shorter in her responses, guys will often overcompensate by texting more, spilling their emotions, when they should pull back and mirror the way she is communicating. She will often come around when she sees that you aren’t as responsive, and that your world doesn’t revolve around her. She may also stop reaching out altogether. This is something you have to accept. There are no texting tricks or anything you can say to force attraction when it isn’t there.

Edit: You should be natural and be yourself, not put on a front, but this post is meant to serve as a warning to guys who feel that they need to go into overdrive when a woman acts cold. Some feel ‘instinctually’ that this is the best way to handle things, when in actuality it backfires and pushes her away further. So even if you feel like you’re acting ‘naturally’ in certain scenarios, it still can lead to more frustration.

Edit 2: This post is meant in the context of a date, not cold approach interaction