HB 8 problem.. picks up her cellphone in the middle of a date and starts talking, nothing i can do about it.

afcanonymous · 2011-01-14T16:38:48+00:00

Don't tolerate behavior from hot girls that you wouldn't from ugly girls. Tap her and say, hey, that's rude, you can call them back later. Remember, you're the man. Don't take shit from anyone.

EDIT: calling her out in an assertive yet playful manner the way frogma describes it would probably be better.

or freaking escalate

cheddarchexmix · 2011-01-14T16:28:47+00:00

Go hit on other girls while shes on the phone

frogma · 2011-01-14T17:11:37+00:00

She's either just that type of person (not a good type), in which case I'd make a dirty face at her the whole time and tease her about it when she hangs up. Call her rude but you don't have to piss her off. Girls like that will probably be dumbfounded/mad when you call them out on it because they don't really understand polite behavior.

Or she just doesn't really consider it a date, in which case I'd probably do the same thing. And also try to make the mood more date-like so she doesn't do it again.

mapgazer · 2011-01-14T20:03:45+00:00

Call her.

ThreeLeftFeet · 2011-01-14T17:13:10+00:00

"check please"

costas_0 · 2011-01-14T18:46:51+00:00

Leave. I did it twice and both time it showed the girl who is the man and she came running for me.

First time was a random date, second time was with my gf. She made sure to apply proper phone etiquette afterwards.

ferveo · 2011-01-14T17:14:59+00:00

I'd give her about 60 seconds then interrupt her conversation and with a smile say "goodnight" and leave. She can grab a taxi.

stirletz · 2011-01-14T17:14:54+00:00

even though most of the time we just talk

You need to realize something... women LOVE talking, especially about themselves. So, you need to think of "talking" as a form of supplication. If you're going to reward her with attention, she needs to reward YOU with being interesting and sexually responsive.

If you've gone out twice with her and haven't at least kissed her, those are two failures. Well, failure is obviously a strong word because any progress is good progress, but the point is that you lose attraction if you're not escalating at each and every possible moment, at the first opportunity.

You've instilled in her the idea that you're there to give her attention, so in her eyes, you can WAIT while she talks on the phone. If you had taken charge and maintained the frame that SHE is there to impress YOU, this would NEVER happen.

blueeyedtongue · 2011-01-15T00:21:17+00:00

My general course of action is as follows:

First offense speak up. Be firm, but turn on the puppy dog eyes. Something along the lines of "when I am out with you I don't let the phone distract me and I want the same from you."
If she gives you grief then reel back the attention because she obviously isn't interesting in playing by the same rules. Most women will agree with you though since it is common courtesy and if she isn't one of them then start looking to move on.
Second time it rings in front of you answer it. If she gets to it before you then do everything you can to distract the person on the other end of the line. Be playful about it. Imitate her. Act like her friend just called her at porn shoot. The key is: don't be an ass about it. Because if you act like a dick while she is on the phone with someone it will backfire on you.
If she gives you grief remind her of your previous conversation. Most women will agree and more importantly the phone will not come again. If she still gives you shit end the date then and there. "If you can't give me the same respect I give you then I don't want to do this."

I have only had to do step 4 once and that lady was a total bitch.

The majority of the time it is so much fucking fun. You reinforce control, communication, respect, and make them smile in the process.

2011-01-15T01:26:57+00:00

This has happened to me a few times. What i usually do is wait for them to finish the conversation and then look them in the eyes and ask:

Me: "Wow, do you always do that?"

Her:"What?"

Me: "Pick up the phone and talk/msg when you are out with someone else?"

Her: "Oh, i'm so sorry,etc"

Me: "Thats fine. I don't mind it if you pick up the phone and ask/msg to call them back later, but otherwise its a bit rude, don't you think?"

Her: "Yeah, really sorry about that".

Every time i've had this conversation and her phone has rang afterwards she will either look at you for permission or quickly pick up and ask to call them back later. Oh, and its important not to be a dick about it.. there's a small possibility that its something serious/from work/etc. Finally, if you do have this conversation you should also respond to your phone in the same way - Nobody likes a hypocrite.

misternipples · 2011-01-14T18:48:07+00:00

I would have walked the fuck out.

baconOclock · 2011-01-14T19:48:46+00:00

It depends, if she was talking to her mom, dad or sister(s) it's completely normal to wait. You gotta give respect to the family, period. But, if she just starts random conversations with her friends while you're on a date and leaving you hanging like stupid puppet I would just leave her alone without notice.

guisar · 2011-01-14T19:59:28+00:00

Say you have to go to the restroom; then leave.

Cryogen_at_work · 2011-01-14T20:16:37+00:00

"We can do this another time if you'd rather talk on the phone."

throwawayrarst · 2011-01-14T20:34:43+00:00

Loudly participate in the conversation she's having. "seriously? steve is going out with mary?? I'll give it a month tops."

TheLotusEater · 2011-01-14T20:39:12+00:00

I'd say something like, "Wow - was it an emergency?" And if she says no, I'd just give a bit of a look, like maybe she's just an asshole. If she asks why you put it to her like that, tell her that you just think it's rude, but you'll let it slide this time.

stirletz · 2011-01-14T20:48:58+00:00

[permanently deleted]

dec92010 · 2011-01-14T16:46:32+00:00

I wouldn't stand from rude behavior like that. I can see some cases where she'll excuse herself and say, "sorry, I have to take this", and she ends the phone conversation sooner rather than later. Her talking on the phone for 5-10 minutes at a time is a sign that she would rather be doing other things than talking with you.

huyvanbin · 2011-01-14T18:20:10+00:00

I fucking hate people who talk on the phone.

This weekend I was at my parents', and my mother gets a phone call. There are three other guests there. She just picks up the phone, goes to the kitchen, and starts talking. She also eats and washes dishes while she talks. Then she comes back. It's the most revolting thing ever to me, but apparently for old Russian women it's just normal. I keep wanting to grab the phone and smash it against the wall, especially because of the imagined displeasure of the person on the other end having to listen to her eat while she talks on the phone. But that person apparently doesn't mind either.

And then one time I was with a girl and she got a phone call. It was some guy who was getting her to invite him to some party. She is very socially inept and she just continued talking to him for about an hour. What's worse is she was in a store and I was just embarrassed as hell because I'm standing with her in the store and she's talking to this guy who is obviously keeping her on the phone but I feel it's rude to interrupt and rude to just walk away. Finally she hung up, we got in her car, and then he called her again and she was talking to him for another hour. I was completely at wits end with her at this point. That was the last time I ever hung out with her.

But then when she hung up and I told her he was just trying to extract favors from her, she was going on about how he was just misunderstood and he was her friend and she was going to side with him against everyone else. So basically he's a manipulative asshole but she doesn't recognize it as manipulation.

Hell is other people.

ngroot · 2011-01-14T18:37:16+00:00

I don't put up with this from my friends; I can't imagine tolerating it from a romantic interest.

You find something better to do. She's just abruptly cut off your conversation and entered one that you can't participate in; it's a serious dick move. Go take a walk, get a drink, chat up other folks, guys, gals, whoever. Let her come looking for you, or at least make her wait before you wander back to find her.

The sad thing is, I'd like to agree with cheddarchexmix below that it's an IOD, but I fear that it may be worse: she may honestly not realize that she's being a jerk. There are a startling number of (younger folks especially) who don't realize that a mobile is not a leash, and that you don't have to answer it, or even look at it, when it rings, especially when you're engaged with another human being. You'll have to try to suss that out yourself.

Don't lose your cool, but don't be at her beck and call. If she apologizes and knocks it off, let it slide. If she doesn't, DTMFA. She's not bothering to treat you like a human being.

netwiz101 · 2011-01-14T19:47:49+00:00

Leave. Call a friend. Go party.

2011-01-14T20:04:17+00:00

It depends if it's an important phone call. If she says "Excuse me, I have to take this", and goes outside to take the call, it's fine. But if she answers the phone to have some frivolous chat, I would ask her to stop.

Box-Monkey · 2011-01-14T20:05:12+00:00

Aside from telling her you think it's rude, you could play a game of it. You could pretend to be the other end of the conversation and make her agree to overly silly things. If you are going to say it's rude, be sure not to make a huge issue of it, but that you simply think it's not polite and would appreciate her being present in more than just one sense.

kryptobs2000 · 2011-01-14T20:34:43+00:00

When she's done talking act annoyed that she's interrupting your game and tell her to wait a minute.

glassuser · 2011-01-14T21:14:30+00:00

What do you mean there's nothing you can do about it. Does she have you chained to the table? Get up and walk away. Your attitude about it just shows that you believe yourself to be of a lower status and must accept such behavior. And pretty much the only thing giving you that lower status is that you allow people to treat you like it.

I'll say it one more time. Get up and walk away.

daygamer · 2011-01-14T22:05:53+00:00

This is a shit test, pure and simple.

She is testing to see whether you'll put up with being treated like this. Tell her not to do it. Be playful at first. If she continues, be more firm about it. Although PUAs often say to always be playful, sometimes a girl wants to know you can be serious.

If she fails to comply, walk out on her. If you don't you are excepting a beta position which will impact your self esteem, long into the future. Have more self respect than to let a girl treat you like this.

raphaelmaggi · 2011-01-14T22:45:46+00:00

call her, then ask her to turn the phone off

wesno · 2011-01-15T00:31:14+00:00

Walk out.

cata1yst · 2011-01-15T01:22:34+00:00

I would say that allowing her to talk on the phone would convey the message that you were too nervous to say anything about a behavior that was clearly rude by any standards. This leads her to think that you think she's better than you, which makes her believe that to be true.

I would say that the best course of action would be to have said something along the lines of "I can't talk to you anymore" and when she wonders why, respond with something along the lines of "you're cute, but if you aren't going to focus on me while were together, this isn't going to work."

Although if you have enough of a rapport, then a freeze-out might work, assuming she knows that talking on the phone in that context is rude.

aepr88 · 2011-01-15T02:00:44+00:00

I would take the phone and tell the person on the other line: "Hey, Sara/Jessica/etc. is busy now and she will call you back."

If she gives you shit about it, that means she doesn't really respect you. Move on! Don't fuking tolerate this shit.

Dontalwaysderp · 2011-01-15T02:02:48+00:00

You should first of all, point out that it bothers you what she is doing. Its disrespectful .

Second of all SPELLCHECK.

2011-01-15T03:45:49+00:00

Grab the phone from her and yell funny things into it. That way she stops talking on the phone but you don't offend her.

ZenApollo · 2011-01-15T06:12:00+00:00

Call a friend, and say something like 'you are not going to believe this, I'm out with this girl, and she answers her phone and ...yada yada yada .... oh you want to talk to her? hang on'. Then hand her the phone and have your friend explain that its rude to interrupt a date with such a great guy, or something like that.

rib-bit · 2011-01-15T22:03:38+00:00

Ask her to put it down. If she doesn't get up and walk away. She'll come running after you, trust me.

m4gnificent_b4st4rd · 2011-01-14T21:14:02+00:00

I can one up you on this. :)

I took a girl to the cinema and she got a text message. I was pretty annoyed that she hadn't turned her phone off, but it got worse. Instead of realising her mistake and turning off her phone she started texting a reply. If that wasn't bad enough this was in the days before predictive text and she had her phone set to beep each time she pressed a key so I was sat there listening to "beepbeep, beepbeepbeep,beep,beepbeep" and so on for a good minute. I was considerably less alpha in those days so I didn't tell her to shut the fuck up, but that was the last time I took her out.

Title	HB 8 problem.. picks up her cellphone in the middle of a date and starts talking, nothing i can do about it.
Author	stirletz
Upvotes	18
Comments	108
Date	January 14, 2011 4:17 PM UTC (15 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/f2a5p/hb_8_problem_picks_up_her_cellphone_in_the_middle/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/hb-8-problem-picks-up-her-cellphone-in-the-middle.1304196 https://theredarchive.com/post/1304196

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