This is something that is not commonly discussed especially since the modern culture is more about understanding women than understanding men . Which basically why people and a lot of young men don't see things eye to eye . So they either require young men to " change " or they just label the one who refuse and keep failing as incels .

But as a man , when you go through the advice that young men get , they seem all flawed to a certain degree or even contradicted. So even when you take the famous advice " just work on yourself " as an example which make a sense at first but still actually wrong and I will tell you why .

Men operate based on a hierarchy , which mean everything is related to the top 1% of men . If all men self improve, the improvement that will happens to the top 1% will be more significant since now they will reach even a higher level that will restrain the definition of attractiveness for men even more ( kind of the same way women complain about HIGHER beauty standards). It's the same when people talk about average people and think fit people are average when most average people are FAT .

This is also simular to men who self improve and think they can get in the hook up culture just to find out that this culture is monopolized by genetically attractive men and rich high value men . So now the guys who self improve are the unattractive people in this culture .

Everything for men is related to a hierarchy , what is attractive is decided by the top 1% and their actions . Women here always say that a woman's league depends on the type of men she get. Which really just mean that as long as women can get any kind of relationship from a high calibre of men there is no looking back . So if we add self improvement and the influence of modern culture on males behaviour, people are basically building the perfect partner for women and calling it " helping men "

Not to mention that the lingering effect will reach men who are slightly below . An 8/10 men will realise that the 10/10 is not his competition and their not even in the same league. By consequence any women who can get something with a 10/10 will see the 8/ 10 as settling and anyone below is basically a friend at best .

Also a man who is an 8 is attractive regardless if he self improve or not , but if he self improve and reach a 9/10 rating. It's a way more significant improvement in comparison to a man who was a 3 and become a 4 .

The thing that was balancing dating was the lack of commitment from the top 20% of men combined with the princess mentality of the 20% of women which mean that anyone below them exclude them as a potential partner by default . While average men accept this , average women capitalise from the low maintenance nature of men regardless of their ranking , therefore they put effort and depend on sex to build their case that , opposite to what people say , actually work a lot of time . People can no longer deny the rising amount of relationship where men are more attractive and with higher value.

Many advices are more harmful to men and people should just listen sometimes to men instead of giving them wrong advices . And for women, don't nag , don't dismiss and keep your in group bias out of the conversation if you actually want to help .