Is it even possible to be loved as a man if you don't make a lot of money? I sacrificed years for my family, wife, sister, and girlfriends and it cost me my career. I ended up with PTSD and no one I helped cared especially the women I supported.

Current_Finding_4066 · 2024-05-05T18:03:54+00:00

Women put themselves first, do the same.

Quiet-Worldliness709 · 2024-05-05T18:15:33+00:00

Money doesn’t get you love. Just puts a target on your back and gets you used. In my experience few people are capable of genuine love.

AmuseDeath · 2024-05-05T20:28:13+00:00

If you are only loved because of your money, it's not worth being around those people and you are better off alone.

CreativeNerd1729 · 2024-05-05T18:36:20+00:00

Find local men's rights activists (MRA) groups and fight the unjust/shitty/gynocentric system.

Make more guy friends. It's not men against men, in competition for women.

Bros before hoes.

TP_Crisis_2020 · 2024-05-05T21:18:29+00:00

Here's the thing, even if you make money this is still a possibility.

I'm 6'6" and gross just a hair under 100k, but I had always put my girlfriends first and put a lot of effort into my relationships. I still got used and discarded.

ImaginaryComb821 · 2024-05-05T19:17:39+00:00

Even if you have money you won't be loved. You'll be wanted for what can be taken from you.

Build yourself up, invest in yourself and focus on your happiness and contentment.

MrAnonPoster · 2024-05-05T19:37:35+00:00

Unlikely. Men are loved under condition of being useful which in the modern world means "he makes $$$$"

Jaded_Permit_7209 · 2024-05-05T22:54:07+00:00

One of the statistics that I read that stuck with me the most was that the greatest predictor of divorce is not adultery. It's not even abuse. Despite feminists' insistence, it's not even close to being the woman becoming seriously ill.

The greatest predictor of divorce is the man unexpectedly losing his job.

Now, this needs to be stated clearly for any lurking women who think they can have a "gotcha!" moment with this data: the woman's employment status, even if she is the sole or primary breadwinner, has no statistically significant effect on divorce rates.

Honestly? I respect women who just outright say they want a guy with money. At least they're being honest.

hero_killer · 2024-05-05T19:15:28+00:00

The way I see it, western society is done for.

You can't make women happy, even if you manage to be all they want, because by the end of the way, they WILL STILL WANT MORE.

If you live your life trying to make women happy, consider yourself wasting it.

HOWEVER, the irony of life is that we as men, need a good woman to have as good companionship.

The problem is such women no longer exist in the west.

Common-Ferret-1435 · 2024-05-05T17:55:44+00:00

No. Welcome to the suck.

I’d recommend MGTOW on sanity grounds.

Frird2008 · 2024-05-05T19:05:50+00:00

That's why I'm focus more on why someone is attracted to me instead of just whether they're attracted or not.

SchrodingersRapist · 2024-05-05T21:44:42+00:00

Women have a very weird duality. You can be slimy, sleazy, abusive, with no money and treat them like shit and they will flock to you. You want to treat them decently and it seems like they'll never give you the time of day without having a home and lots of money.

Just my experience, and why, when I bother at all, its just dating them and not trying to put them in a position to have a hold over my life, hard work, or possessions. It took me a couple times but I learned my fucking lessons. I would rather spend my time on my own pursuits and with friends, and I perceive more benefits from that in my life at this point.

I_Gilgamesh · 2024-05-05T18:10:30+00:00

Literature lies to us. A man is an island unto himself.

FuzzyManPeach96 · 2024-05-05T18:11:49+00:00

You gotta take care of yourself, always. My only exception for not caring 100% for yourself is for your children if you have any.

champsammy14 · 2024-05-05T21:01:11+00:00

No. You've got to love yourself, no one else will.

ElisaSKy · 2024-05-05T22:20:35+00:00

I guess if you're gay (or even bi) it's possible. I actually have a very supportive BF who helped me through a rough spot and whom I helped back when heimself went through a rough spot.

KangarooCrapper · 2024-05-05T18:46:19+00:00

[permanently deleted]

Imoldok · 2024-05-05T20:16:45+00:00

When they want to treat you like an endless wallet, you know something is wrong.

Lanky-Bank-320 · 2024-05-06T01:05:52+00:00

Women can leave there kids and be celebrated. Men leave their kids and they’re called deadbeats. See the difference women put themselves first and men put their responsibilities first and themselves last. Do the same, they don’t appreciate it cut them off. Just an example

JoeR942 · 2024-05-05T22:11:44+00:00

Love and money are wholly separate. They’re not even closely related. They’re worlds apart. A woman who doesn’t love you when you’re poor, never, not once, loved you. She used you. When you grew to the realisation that you were only loved for money, instead of working to the bone you should have got the hell on out. Don’t feel bad that you didn’t - we learn by going through various types of hell and reflecting on how we got there. So if that ever happens ever to you again, leave. When love comes to you which it will I am sure you’ll know how different it is.

Love doesn’t come with sorrow, burden, sadness or feeling inadequate as a common state. Love is knowing that no matter what, the other person helps to build you to support you and that together, you’re better than alone. You put in the things you’ve learnt in life and teach them everything you know and they do the same for you. There’s beauty in seeing their passion over things that you never thought interesting and pride and irony in smiling when they gift you something you spent your life hating (like for me spirituality - never understood it). Yet wearing my multitude of beads and laying besides a giant crystal, I know, I was often closed minded and oftentimes prejudged. Seeing a more humble, compassionate man develop and not being afraid of allowing myself to be vulnerable, is love.

In the safety of love, there is time for you to take a sigh of relief once in a while and mutually a safe space for you to both become more closely aligned with your purpose and goals. Love is cherishing with everything you have the wants, desires and grievances of the other person. Their feelings matter as do your own.

Money comes and goes in cycles. You’ll be broke, you’ll be ok, you could make it orrrr you could go broke again. To apply pressure over a person to always be making it is unrealistic. When a woman tells you “there’s nobody I’d rather be broke with than you,” she gets it. They exist and they’re in greater supply than we realise. I will say that people SHOW us who they are. Almost everybody can talk the talk but words are just that. If you observe a person believe who they show you they are. The biggest mistake I ever made was to trust somebody who treated me poorly but then said everything I wanted to hear. I did that many times over. I bet these people showed you quite a few red flags. please keep driving forwards and don’t stop, even if you find love it’s not your destination, your life purpose is much bigger than “settling down.” Be in love whilst still growing, still driving and still achieving, in a way that nurtures your soul, your heart, and makes you quietly smile inside.

Needless to say - you’re a special soul for dedicating yourself to the extent you did and that’s both admirable and something to be proud of. That takes more strength than most of us have. Now it’s time to love you and to want it with that much fierce determination for yourself, not anybody else. For you. You’re worth more than all of them other people combined. Will keep you in my thoughts and prayers. 🙏

kkkan2020 · 2024-05-06T00:33:42+00:00

you're essentially a walking atm machine and sperm donor. it's a pretty twisted world.

Street_Conflict_9008 · 2024-05-05T20:22:50+00:00

Yes it is possible to be loved as a man. One of the things I am currently working on in our relationship is increasing affection and intimacy. Trying to shift from a somewhat dead bedroom situation.

My wife is slowly learning to understand that there are needs on multiple levels for a male, as there are for a female.

I started by talking about stuff I have done that they liked, helped them feel good about themselves. Talk about that stuff for a bit, then ask a reflective question such as, when was the last time you did x for me willingly?

Follow it with something like, you know I hardly ever ask for things, but I am human as well. We all have needs, I have deprived my needs to make sure everyone else's well-being was fine. Now I need a hand to help lift me up. Family is there to help support and lift each other up.

NeoKlang · 2024-05-06T00:28:18+00:00

I learnt and became selfish for my own good.

Low_Breakfast3669 · 2024-05-06T03:15:16+00:00

You're making a grave mistake if you think women will genuinely love you if you make lots of money.

You will get more attention from women if you make lots of money, but attention does not equal love.

As cliche as it sounds, real love cannot be bought and if anything the less money you have the easier real love can be detected.

The reality is no woman will ever love you intrinsically or as women say "love you for you". Thats female fantasy nonsense. Except maybe your mother, if you're lucky.

As the man you must provide something of tangible value. Money is the most common, but as I said a moment ago the more money you have the harder it will become to determine real love vs gold digging whore that can just suck a mean dick.

You could also just be in phenomenal shape or live a cool care free lifestyle, be a drug dealer, sling really good dick.

There are many ways to provide value.

gabriel-kornilov · 2024-05-05T20:09:02+00:00

Short but honest answer? No. A man is valuable proportionally to what he's able to provide economically and/or socially. Hard truth to swallow maybe, but realistic.

handydannotdan · 2024-05-05T23:54:14+00:00

We are basically seen as providers by most women .

eye_of_gnon · 2024-05-06T01:28:10+00:00

Having money doesn't guarantee love, either.

i_live_in_sweden · 2024-05-06T08:54:27+00:00

Only women, children and pets are loved unconditionally. The rest of us must provide something.

Plus-Pollution-5916 · 2024-05-06T12:58:03+00:00

Women are told to do what is best for themselves, men are told to do what is best for the society.

Contranovae · 2024-05-05T18:51:01+00:00

You are right, I am afraid.

It's a very rare but wonderful woman that will appreciate your past sacrifices and she will usually be your daughter.

I sincerely hope you can get treatment for your PTSD and hop back on your career. If not there is always the legal psychadelic route (in the N.E. US) of attending an ahayhuasca church as it has been used to treat such conditions.

https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC5895707/

djc_tech · 2024-05-06T11:38:38+00:00

Nope. They don’t care. I know first hand too.

Put yourself first, kids if you have them. If you don’t….live life for you. Spend money on yourself and enjoy your life because you’re the only one who will care about you, except maybe your mom but there’s a number of us who don’t even have that.

No one cares about your feelings as a man, you’re on your own except maybe a couple of your friends.

Opening-Scar-8796 · 2024-05-05T21:34:05+00:00

No. Money doesn’t change how you are viewed. I’ll even argue that making more money will cause more problems with women. If you make tons of money and work long hours, your wife will more likely blame you for lack of house work, not spending time with kids and her feeling lonely.

What I mean by that is: we live this new type of society now where if men provide with a higher income, they are still required to do at least 50/50 house work. For example, you can make 200K per year and your wife makes 60K, come home tired and still get yelled at for not cooking dinner. All because she works too despite making 140K less and working less hours.

I seen this from my cousin. My cousin is a senior software engineer. He makes 250K per year and his wife works as a part time dental assistant. He comes home and still requires to do 50/50 everything because she “works too”.

But if you just work a regular 9-5 job and do your “fair share of house work”, then she can’t say shit. Because insulting a man for making less money isn’t “feminism”. And if they do insult you for it, it’s so easy to counter argue.

Bokoman91 · 2024-05-06T04:38:20+00:00

the problem is even being a single I still sacrifice year's and health suffer for my unemployed mom . since my dad left her and died when was still baby . learned my life is never meant for me

monza_m_murcatto · 2024-05-06T06:33:00+00:00

Yes. Mine is adored and appreciated for his beautiful personality, generosity and warmth.

It’s possible. My third marriage tho. I finally figured out how to find someone with a heart.❤️

kochIndustriesRussia · 2024-05-05T21:50:10+00:00

I feel like now more than ever men are seen as objects to serve women's needs and emotions.

When exactly do you think that hasn't been the case? Husband means 'keeper' as in "you are responsible for this person...their health...their happiness...their dreams...don't fuck it up....if she's unhappy its your fault"

That word was coined a thousand years ago soooo......

Proof_Option1386 · 2024-05-05T21:05:14+00:00

I'm sorry to hear that you were used so callously. That sucks. If it's any consolation, and it should be, not only are there many men who have had the same experience as you, there are many women, too. There are tons of users out there, and tons of people who allow themselves to be used. Men don't have the monopoly on either narcissism or codependence, and neither do women.

It's very tempting to drink the kool-aid on the popular narratives on a topic - but I don't think the popular narratives are necessarily all that descriptive on how people really live.

So be angry, be disheartened, be disgusted about how you were treated, but don't despair and buy into the notion that this is just the way shit is and has to be. It isn't the way shit has to be, and while you can't change your past, you can change your future. Pick better women to support, and demand that your efforts are reciprocated in kind and often.

pillchangedmylife · 2024-05-05T23:07:45+00:00

What do you need love for? Love of yourself should be more than enough. Everything else is extra icing on the cake

IllustriousSalt5696 · 2024-05-05T18:39:36+00:00

exercise in the sun, eat clean, go to church, rebuild stronger.

Ok_Preparation6937 · 2024-05-05T21:38:01+00:00

Hi, woman here. Not a monolith, just an individual. Money has never been important to me and beyond my current partner all of my past partners have been poor as dirt and we were broke together. It never bothered me as I am interested in my partner being someone who I love and trust beyond all measure and not as a provider. YMMV.

IceCorrect · 2024-05-06T04:10:51+00:00

Yes, when you are desired by them, then maybe you can call it lust, but at least it's free

coming2grips · 2024-05-06T04:38:53+00:00

Sorry to hear things have gone this way for you.

Welcome to the new normal for so many.

QuiveringFear · 2024-05-06T07:12:24+00:00

I have nothing to my name but debt, I'm getting married next year to the love of my life. Yes it's possible.

penguinsrcoolaf · 2024-05-06T08:12:05+00:00

Serious question. How is your relationship with your mum? I have a nearly 20 year old son & he knows the love me, his dad & his little sister have for him is unconditional & I have to say his gf really loves him. We joke we're his fan club, as we're all so happy to see him when he comes home. So it's hard to read how undervalued men feel by literally everyone in their lives. I always think, where are your mums?

BoeingA320neo-9 · 2024-05-06T13:26:06+00:00

Nobody cares Sean Nobody

You need to watch out for yourself Please do take care brother 🙏

Amalthia_the_Lady · 2024-05-05T21:49:03+00:00

You can't take care of anyone else if you're running on empty.

But as to the specific question of finances, yeah, it's entirely possible. Most women make their own money these days. So you just have to make enough for you.

Of course, if a woman wants to be a stay at home mom, obviously she's gotta find a man who has the funds to support that. And these days, you'd have to make quite a bit to support that old school lifestyle.

But to be loved? Yeah. Money doesn't buy love. Stuff doesn't buy love.

Time, attention, empathy, connection, attraction...that's what gets love.

yadayadayadaetc · 2024-05-05T20:40:20+00:00

This sounds really intense. Im poor as shit, comedian, bohemian, got some good love in my life. But its also alot of luck I feel like

songbird_rainbow · 2024-05-06T09:08:36+00:00

women isn’t your emotional dump, never expect from support women they live their own live

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