Any happy stories of reconciliation later in life

MirrorPotential9380 · 2024-08-09T17:30:03+00:00

There is a whole sub dedicated to infidelity, support for both betrayed and waywards.

If you go there you will see that reconciliation is uphill battle that last years and seldom works.

She cheated. She showed you that losing you was worth it to her at some point.

You will never forget that. Even is you stay with her. And it will eat you alive

That being said, decision is up to you. Best of luck

DivorceCharacter512 · 2024-08-09T14:59:57+00:00

You're not going to want her in 5 years... trust the process.

Par_then_Bar · 2024-08-09T13:01:16+00:00

I just want to know 2 things. Who initiated the divorce and was there any infidelity?

FinnyIzzy · 2024-08-08T20:29:13+00:00

Far more happy stories from not reconciling.

SaltSpecialistSalt · 2024-08-08T19:47:31+00:00

you are being a doormat bro. that is probably one of the reason your marriage ended as well. also it is disgustingly disrespectful to the person you are currently going out with

smooth-vegetable-936 · 2024-08-08T16:46:59+00:00

I’m cohabiting with my x wife. We have two kids and it’s working. I’m fully awesome of my state laws regarding cohabitation and common law practice isn’t recognized. It’s been easier taking care of my kids. I was struggling bcs my immediate family didn’t help me as much including my own mother. I know it’s not their responsibility but at first they were all telling me how they would help bla bla but again this is my responsibility. Anyway, I will not remarry, she knows that but we’re having a relationship and if I see any red flags it will end immediately.

Objective-Apple-7830 · 2024-08-08T15:38:21+00:00

My Auntie and her ex-husband reconnected after 15 years apart. He left here while pregnant with the third for another woman. She remained single. The other woman who he left my Aunt for left him. My mum believes it was due to some powerful juju at play. I don't know, but they are quite old now in their 60's and quite happy and content with each other.

ExponentialIncrease · 2024-08-08T14:16:39+00:00

An old coworker of mine went through a horrible divorce with his wife and some years later they did eventually reconcile. Nothing is impossible

Ill_Coffee_6821 · 2024-08-08T13:58:08+00:00

Please break it off with your current girlfriend. Unless she’s aware you’re not over your wife and ok with it, it’s so awful dating and committing yourself to someone who is still wishing to be with someone else. :(

Bermnerfs · 2024-08-08T13:44:36+00:00

Just focus on yourself man. Keep improving physically, mentally, and spiritually. If both of you truly have feelings and eventually decide to reconcile you need to make sure you have fixed your side of the problems or you'll just end up heartbroken again. Don't take her back unless she's shown the same level of growth you have.

Even if you decide to stay with your current girlfriend you'll have a much stronger and healthier relationship if you address the shortcomings in yourself that caused the last marriage to fail.

TheCommentator- · 2024-08-08T13:09:31+00:00

I sincerely say, I can’t wait until my child turns 18 so I can block my ex from everything and never hear from her again…..

Pro-IDGAF · 2024-08-08T12:11:39+00:00

no and hell no. the farther i moved from the decision to divorce, the more happy i became that i was released from my prison sentence (it was her idea to D)

its been 5 years and when thoughts of her enter my head i shoosh them away and giggle, i’d rather cut off my dick than go back to her

CrazySanta7 · 2024-08-08T11:47:01+00:00

You are endlessly helpful. Reconciliation rarely works out long term. Think about it.....she is saying that if it does not work out, THEN you MIGHT have a shot? F THAT. i would strongly advise you to break it off with your current girl if you are thinking about your ex. That's not exactly fair, either. Take some time off and become completely independent again and heal up. Good luck, bro.

narkj · 2024-08-08T08:49:55+00:00

Everyone is saying the same thing and they’re right.

Serious-Buffalo6776 · 2024-08-08T08:07:33+00:00

Wow, she told you that if things don’t work out with the new guy she would consider getting together in the future?

I don’t want to be cold, brother, but move on.

jimsmythee · 2024-08-08T05:52:34+00:00

I have recurring nightmares that I've reconciled with my exwife. It's been a few years since our divorce, and we both got remarried, but her remarriage ended in re-divorce after 6 months.

One dream, she has moved into my house and she's rattling around in the kitchen, all whacked out on the dumb dust making a big mess. And I'm again financially tied to her.

One dream, we got back together, but then we've lost everything. I've lost my house, my car, my job, everything because of her.

I wake up in a cold sweat.

karavan7 · 2024-08-08T05:49:16+00:00

You are naively hopeful. Tell yourself out loud to knock that off. You cannot shut off feelings or thoughts. The nature of a feeling is that it is involuntary.

Reflog1791 · 2024-08-08T05:36:38+00:00

Happy stories of reconciliation are rare. Reconciliations that last for a short time are commonplace. They usually don’t have happy endings.

In your case with 2 new people involved this is really stupid. Just move on and stop thinking about her. Stop talking to her. You’re setting yourself up for pain and you’re gonna drag other people down with you. Be warned.

Beamformer · 2024-08-08T04:51:56+00:00

It sounds like you are being played. My ex said that shit to me way before I filed (but after she had moved out). She wants to know you are an option if plan A fails. You know if she doesn't find someone that will commit who has more money, is better looking, and basically makes her friends jealous. Do you really want your ex back after she's had a go at upgrading?

Also, you owe anyone you are seriously involved with better than entertaining a backup plan yourself. Stop entertaining her outside of necessity and focus on yourself and the people in your life now.

CulturedGentleman921 · 2024-08-08T04:42:41+00:00

Don't be anyone's back up plan, dude. Especially to a used up pile of slunkmeat that you used to call "honey".

Left-Signature-5250 · 2024-08-08T04:37:19+00:00

Yeah sure.... my ex-wife did the same thing. When we were in the thick of it, she said two things: "I am just not ready for any relationship, I will probably be forever alone - at least for a long time". And also: "We might try again, once I am ready and healed" (whatever that was supposed to mean).

We have TWO KIDS! They were 5 and 7 at the time. She blew up our family - and basically for nothing. "I am not happy anymore" was all I ever got. I am no cheater, no drinker, not violent. I am a good provider and a decent partner. At the time I did not suspect anything going on behind my back.

Well - just three months after the divorce was finalized, she moved my two kids two hours away to her "new boyfriend".

I guess my point is: Women lie and betray. Also it sounds a lot like she just says this to make it easier on herself - let you down easy so you will not make too much fuss about it. But not with any real intention to ever try again.
Just write it off man.

kcinkcinlim · 2024-08-08T04:35:47+00:00

She's setting the foundation for a road out. But there's no way to know if she will ever finish paving this path. Don't allow that hope to latch on. Focus on what you have NOW, rather than what might or might not be in the future.

upvotersfortruth · 2024-08-08T04:26:29+00:00

Rather than shutting off your feelings, now should be the time you allow yourself to grieve the loss of your marriage and your ex. Take a moment to realize how evil and manipulative her statement is. Imagine if you were the one who wanted the divorce and you knew she wanted you back - if you were to say something like that to her. What kind of person would you be? What possible purpose could it serve the other person? The feelings aren't resurfacing, she dragged the waters to dredge them up. This is not a person who loves you. Do not rely on her for any validation or emotional nourishment, you will only damage yourself further. She doesn't deserve to know your pain.

EDIT: as for the question - in a few hundred divorces, I've seen maybe three couples reconcile - one of them "permanently". Far more common is for couples to end up with a good and positive working relationship focused on the kids, even if the divorce was quite nasty.

Vishousbudz · 2024-08-08T04:15:20+00:00

Dont let yourself be someone’s second option friend you have value. Value yourself

Title	Any happy stories of reconciliation later in life
Author	Beautiful_Figure_358
Upvotes	20
Comments	40
Date	August 8, 2024 3:57 AM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/1emwc39/any_happy_stories_of_reconciliation_later_in_life/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/any-happy-stories-of-reconciliation-later-in-life.1526659 https://theredarchive.com/post/1526659

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