"There are plenty of fish in the sea" yet men are told to date within their social circle

wtknight · 2024-09-04T17:07:37+00:00

Removed. No rants.

Gravel_Roads · 2024-09-04T13:04:23+00:00

There is no contradiction - "There's plenty of fish in the sea" is a phrase used to inspire abundance mentality. It's used, as the Red Pill would phrase it, to "combat one-itis" so that a man can Next to the next girl.

When people say "use your social circle", they're saying "it's easier to show-case your strengths in an environment where everyone already has an established rapport".

Your social circle, just like the fish in the sea, is eternally changing and new people area always joining. Or at least that should be true, as that's how dating within one's extended social circle works - you date people who have already been partially vetted by people you know and trust.

Nellylocheadbean · 2024-09-04T14:09:39+00:00

Dating in your social circle is a suggestion. You’re supposed to do what you know is best for you to get the outcome you desire. If that happens to be dating in another culture or whatever then do that. You don’t have to take what ppl say to you so literally because you control your own life.

Creation_Soul · 2024-09-04T13:14:09+00:00

i am not sure I understand your point or the purpose of this post. we all know the advantages and disadvantages of different dating methods (warm approaches, cold approaches, apps etc). us men, realize pretty early on that nothing actually guarantees success and that it's a lot of trial&error.

Practical_Lie_7203 · 2024-09-04T13:34:59+00:00

This sub's post volume could be cut in half if yall stopped taking everything super literally

Evening-Barracuda740 · 2024-09-04T13:28:17+00:00

Traditionally social circles have always been effective, there's the trust that is there that when you meet someone, the friends in your group can vouch for you that you're a great guy to hang out with.

IdiAminD · 2024-09-04T13:28:27+00:00

I think that you should try variety of options. In my case social circle didn't really worked - because I am from very religious region, and my views are vastly different from local mainstream. For me OLD in university city worked pretty well. But if I would be more aligned with my social circles regarding values - it would probably be equally good option for me, my friends girlfriends were very eager to introduce me to their single friends.

attendquoi · 2024-09-04T14:25:57+00:00

How are these contradictory?

flipsidetroll · 2024-09-04T14:04:37+00:00

Men are told by who? By other men? Does that mean their experiences aren’t valid to you? That seems stupid. Why would you only be selective about which men you listen to? By other women? You’ve made it very clear with multiple posts that you don’t listen to women except to whine about them. So why even let advice we give you enter your brain?

Do you somehow believe that women should reciprocate feelings for every man that shows them the same? That seems very counterproductive. Isn’t that how women get on the dreaded cock carousel? So should we be selective with our feelings and bodies or should we be slaves to your feelings and bodies? Can’t be both.

I don’t rely on my friends feelings for my partner. That is a redpill myth. What I can tell you is that MEN expect to be able to give their input about one of their friends/other men’s partners. Proof of this? Every man they have slated because of their partner. Ever seen redpillers insult Jeff bezos because of his gf? Will smith because of his wife? Calling a man a simp or beta because you don’t like the woman he is spending time and money on? How would you like a stranger to tell you who you spend time and money on? You would be pissed. But somehow you all think YOUR opinion is important enough to insult men for their choices. I may not like will smiths wife. I think she’s trash. But I’m not going to insult him because he’s a grown man capable of making his own decisions about what he will accept or not. But I wonder if you are mature enough to see this.

MyLastBestChance · 2024-09-04T15:05:11+00:00

It sounds like you’re saying that women should be receptive to your cold approaches because otherwise it’s too hard for you and is definitely not fair😡!

Or if women aren’t going to be receptive to your cold approaches, we should definitely not be rejecting anyone in our social circle because that’s also not fair.

In other words, women need to somehow be responsible for making it easy and convenient for you to “express your sexual desires” and get what you want from them whether they are interested or not?

Q: when did anyone ever promise that life and satisfying your sexual desires would be easy or convenient?

TheHouseSomalian · 2024-09-04T15:58:36+00:00

Jessi’s fucking Christ. Don’t you ever get tired of this old trope of “men are told this and men are told that”. You can do whatever the fuck you want buddy. Women are not your mom. Get over yourself.

Sharp_Engineering379 · 2024-09-04T13:47:13+00:00

No man is told to date “within his social circle” and that’s a willfully disingenuous claim.

Your social circle are the platonic friends you socialize with; your social circle are the people you attend social venues and social events with. Social proof is a real phenomenon which facilitates meeting new people.

harmonica2 · 2024-09-04T13:28:39+00:00

I guess the saying means there's plenty of fish in the sea that you're in? Like if you're a fish you still can't go from the Caspian Sea to the Black Sea, etc.

sweetestpineapple · 2024-09-04T13:59:24+00:00

Approaching women depends on the environment, but I don’t think it’s weird to approach at a bar, club or party. It sucks for introverts that these are the main places where it’s acceptable to approach, but the option IS out there. I actually wouldn’t recommend trying that hard to date in your friend group because it can make things very awkward and rejection usually requires time and distance to get over.

gntlbastard · 2024-09-04T14:42:39+00:00

Part of why I don't advocate for female friends who turn romantic is the same reason why I advocate against dating people you work with. When things go south its going to fracture your friendships. Which lets face is, is any woman worth that?

januaryphilosopher · 2024-09-04T15:39:54+00:00

You can quite literally add anyone you want to your social circle. You can have as many friends and acquaintances you want and meet so many friends of friends who may be interested and don't know each other.

Parrotsandarmadillos · 2024-09-04T15:46:28+00:00

Then don’t date in your social circle for Christs sake. Straight women know NOTHING about dating women. They just don’t. Just like I know nothing about dating straight men. Do what works and ignore obvious bullshit.

ta06012022 · 2024-09-04T16:04:30+00:00

No one ever said men should only date in their social circles. It's an option to be combined with other approaches. I've dated within my social circle, but I've also date women I met on apps/social media, at bars/parties, at work, at school, and from a kickball league (which I only joined because of my social circle). Keeping social circle open as one of your avenues to meet women is solid advice.

WillyDonDilly69 · 2024-09-04T13:51:16+00:00

Bro women can be approached almost everywhere as long as two rules are followed: 1. you are attractive (cause people won't judge her for talking with you 2. you don't make her look easy/like a whore (approaching her and asking her too directly in a group)

You have to understand that all women just love to complain and generalise their bad experience and say that's all men but instantly forget when you follow those 2 first rules.

0kayz00mer · 2024-09-04T13:53:12+00:00

The intersection of all dating advice given to men is an empty set. Dating advice given to men often suffers from agency bias and assumes men are entirely at fault for all their dating woes. But men are only half the equation…

If you come online as a guy and say you haven’t had much luck dating friends of friends, people will say “there are plenty of fish in the sea” and encourage you to expand your dating pool. If you come online and complain about cold approaches, people will suggest warm approaches and to “date within their social circle”.

Adject_Ive · 2024-09-04T14:21:56+00:00

If you are good fisherman with a genetically bigger net yeah. Most men don't have big fishnets.

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SaBahRub · 2024-09-04T14:07:28+00:00

That’s only after you complain about cold approaching and OLD.

If you can’t do hard mode, you’re going to be advised to go easier

Clear-Poet-9212 · 2024-09-04T14:45:40+00:00

It's just an empty platitude.

Major_Donut_2861 · 2024-09-04T14:49:17+00:00

MEN SHOULD NOT BE DATING!! We are PIGLETS! Remember! Women should CHOOSE us for their own needs. The top 5%-20% of PIGS are for no-strings fun. The remainder of the PIGS should sit QUIETLY and wait until a WOMAN chooses THEM for provider status in return for once-per-week pity sex that will not include any of the fun Chad & Tyrone received. In the meantime REFRAIN from any PIGTIVITIES as they will be severely punished. KNOW YOUR PLACE PIG!

Thunderjaw4955 · 2024-09-04T16:45:50+00:00

Most social circles are also inappropriate.

Women just want to hang out with friends without being harassed by men.

mlo9109 · 2024-09-04T13:09:11+00:00

I think it's a way to say you should expand your social circle. As a single woman, I'm "putting myself out there." Problem is, there are no men "out there" even in the places I'm told the good men are at (church, library, gym, etc.) My guess is that single men my age (30s) just prefer to stay home with video games and porn than have actual hobbies or social lives.

You want to meet good women? The bar or club isn't where it's at. Go to church, go to the library, attend a lecture at a nearby university or museum on a topic you're interested in, go to the gym, take a class of some kind (exercise, cooking, etc.) shop at the farmer's market, volunteer for a charity you care about (animal shelter, soup kitchen, etc.) We're there!

Title	"There are plenty of fish in the sea" yet men are told to date within their social circle
Author	Babyface_Bogart
Upvotes	25
Comments	85
Date	September 4, 2024 12:59 PM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/1f8soh1/there_are_plenty_of_fish_in_the_sea_yet_men_are/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/there-are-plenty-of-fish-in-the-sea-yet-men-are.1529367 https://theredarchive.com/post/1529367

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