are house chores/being a stay att home parent/wife/husband really that much harder then working away form home like feminists say it is?

63daddy · 2024-10-27T13:57:44+00:00

I remember staying home from school, sick when I was a kid and noting that when my mom had laundry day, it was the washing machine and dryer that did most of the work. It may have been 8 hours total to do the laundry but most of that 8 hours was spent watching soap operas.

There was a when home chores meant washing and starching shirts by hand, dragging area rugs outside and beating the dust out of them. Product advances have changed all that.

For years I took care of all my own home chores and worked. Home chores were astronomically easier and less time consuming than work. Home chores were also far easier than home maintenance. Funny how home maintenance (often done by men) often gets ignored in the discussion.

Taking care of infants who are not yet in school is another issue all together, but given modern appliances and technology, house chores really aren’t that much work.

Added: When a man consciously stops being employed and only has to take care of his household, we call it retirement. When a woman does the same, it’s called “working at home”.

mypreciousssssssss · 2024-10-27T18:44:00+00:00

No. I'm a woman who has been a SAHM and later opened and run a small business for nearly 20 years. (Now disabled and back to SAHW, the kids are grown.) Staying at home can be a lonely grind, it's true. It has it's own challenges. But no real deadlines to speak of, no forced interactions with coworkers you don't particularly like, little to no outside pressure, no bills are riding on your continued obeisance to arbitrary rules. There's a lot of freedom there compared to a regular job. To me it was light years easier.

IceCorrect · 2024-10-27T14:44:09+00:00

Stay at home wife only do more.

It's all lies, thats why women don't pick men to be stay at home dad's, because they know in home you have less stress and work

Tested-Trio-Father · 2024-10-27T17:40:02+00:00

Is it fuck. I took care of baby triplets and a 3 year old for 2 years because of her depression. Still easier and less stressful than most of the jobs I've done.

PmMeAnnaKendrick · 2024-10-27T18:39:50+00:00

I live alone with 2 huge dogs. I work 60 hours a week. My house is spotless.

vegatx40 · 2024-10-27T13:41:02+00:00

Lol no.

FluffyCategory11 · 2024-10-27T16:20:49+00:00

Depends how many kids you have and what stage they are at, I guess.

My gf and I have no kids together. I work from home and she works away from home. During downtime from work and on my lunch break I do the laundry, dishes, clean anything in the house that needs to be done, and take care of whatever home maintenance needs to be done. Takes maybe an hour or two each day to keep the place tidy and clean.

Then my gf gets home and I make her dinner, not no instant meal, no I make dinner from scratch. Takes maybe another hour or so.

Then at the end of the day with everything done, we chill together and play video games or whatever else we want to do. If I can do all this and maintain a full time job, then it’s definitely blown way out of proportion. And I own a whole house, it’s not like I’m saying this and cleaning a studio apartment or something.

The biggest time waster is cleaning up after other people. So when I have a gf that leaves packaging where they opened it, dirty clothes strewn about the floor, dirty dishes left wherever they were eating - all that shit adds up and makes every chore take that much longer. I drilled it into my gf that we have a hamper for dirty clothes, bring your dishes to the sink, throw away your garbage. Seriously if everyone can at least clean up after themselves then chores are that much easier to stay on top of.

InevitableCorrect418 · 2024-10-28T01:36:26+00:00

The thing is the gaolpost forever moves. Men and women both work, but men have taken on more housework and hands on childcare, despite working just as much as ever. Femmos come up with the 'mental labour thing's whereby the annoyance of daily chores and childcare becomes an issue of female mental health, hence femmos get to claim victimhood again

HeavenBlade117 · 2024-10-27T16:12:14+00:00

They like to pretend it is but it's really not that hard and they don't do as much as they claim to do especially when pretty much every household chore is essentially automated in this generation. Need to wash dishes? Dishwashing machine. Need to wash clothes? Machine wash and dryer. Need to sweep the house? Roomba. Need to cook? Most modern women don't know how to cook from scratch, throw a bunch of processed and frozen food and shit in the air fryer and done.

It's incredible that these feminists can complain about housework when they're not even married and don't even know how to work a washing machine or cook pancakes from scratch. They're nothing but soul sucking vultures.

Capable-Mushroom99 · 2024-10-27T14:35:25+00:00

Taking care of young children can be a lot of work but just the cleaning, cooking etc, 8-10 hours per week tops. For comparison I’ve had jobs where I spent that much time commuting.

MFToes2 · 2024-10-27T18:32:50+00:00

ONLY THE MONOTONY, if you only do chores you'll go insane, its why so many women cheat, they don't have hobbies and self interests. Find a good book series and I'll stay home to clean all week just to finish it

walterwallcarpet · 2024-10-27T13:06:33+00:00

Esther Vilar, in 'The Manipulated Man' puts it into context. "Women, of course, will never admit that, in comparison to a man who goes out and works, they do nothing. They are constantly finding little tasks, and keeping themselves busy. He is supposed to believe himself lucky to have a wife who will perform these menial tasks for his sake. And, since men are completely unaware that women enjoy these easy jobs, they do think themselves lucky."

It's a very, very subtle trick - the art of manipulation while appearing to be oppressed. Trad housewives and feminists have much more in common than they think.

don_Mugurel · 2024-10-27T16:38:53+00:00

Fuck no. Anytime I have myself a “staycation” I just clean and fix around the house and spend my time in leasure afterwards. And I would way prefere that to going to work.

Only children complain about cleaning their rooms/living spaces.

Successful_Video_970 · 2024-10-27T20:55:16+00:00

No it’s not I was a Dad that looked after my two boys 100 percent of the time and while working full time. I used to think what my ex wife was complaining about when we were together. So easy and I loved being with the kids. So rewarding. It was tiring but the trade work was so much harder and that the house work but I really enjoyed going to work to do different things. Of course I couldn’t work the same hours as I used to. The worst thing was at the time. You would hear on media how hard it was for single mums and equality. They just complain and woman always think they’re victims.

PedanticGoon · 2024-10-27T17:31:20+00:00

Yeah here’s the thing they never talk about when it comes to domestic labor and the big day “mental load.”

Women claim:

taking care of kids never ends, is exhausting
must be done at the same time as cleaning, cooking, transporting, organizing, and working with stuff like school members
men never know any of this with what’s going on
men force women to have to think more exhaustively by constantly balancing all of these task in their head
mowing the lawn is done once a week and takes an hour

Here’s the reality:

I’ve worked for several home services companies, where I would do field sales, and sometimes door to door sales. This involved meeting thousands of customers, and tens of thousands of potential customers, from all across the United States, and working with them to figure out their needs and willingness for the company’s service.

Let me tell you- if you had interacted with the around 2,000-10,000 women a year I meet and discussed these things with, you would realize how much bullshit this idea of “imbalanced” workload really is.

Here’s why- the women, by and large, are clueless about home maintenance beyond the typical female jobs and understand their lack of authority over it. Why? Because they don’t carry that particular physical and mental load. Sure, some women do, maybe around 10-15%, but most of those women are the pants-wearers in the relationship or are single have had to learn the hard way.

Typically “male” home maintenance means constantly thinking about being aware of all the repairs, updates, logistics, and interaction involved in the home being able to simply function for a woman. That means landscaping, lawn, fence, auxiliary structures, car, crawlspaces, hvac, plumbing, electrical, roof, fixtures, framing, appliances, weather response, insurance, utilities, treatments, finance, taxes, and a lot more. Sure, women sometimes do some of these, don’t get me wrong.

But overwhelmingly in my experience this is the man’s domain, and the work that goes into it is endless, I should know, it was my job after all, and only for one service at a time. Men aren’t always doing these all themselves, but no average family can afford to pay for all these things. Only a few that happen to be too inconvenient, intensive, or require tools unavailable. The households paying for all of these are also paying for maids, nannies, and prepared food.

But it’s not just about doing them. The “mental load” is almost never talked about for men. It takes 2 minutes to figure out how to laundry. A week’s experience to be able to clean a house properly.

The mental load of masculine home maintenance is spending years and years learning and developing proficiency, familiarity, and confidence in a number of these fields so that for one, your family doesn’t have to pay for it, and so two, if your family does need to pay for it, you’ll be sure to know what you’re talking about and get the best solution.

So so many women are incredibly susceptible to getting scammed or ending up with a completely disaster in their home, and I’ve met many personally who have been royally toasted when it comes to this stuff because they did not know much to anything about the field, weren’t constantly vigilant about keeping up with everything, or didn’t understand the proper way to interact with the home services industry. There’s a reason why it’s so common for them to defer to their husband.

Ask a husband to buy a service for their home and his objection is doesn’t want his wife to get pissed at him for making a decision without her knowing , or thinks he can do it himself.

As a wife to buy a service for their home and her objection will be she’s scared she doesn’t know enough and she’ll be making the wrong choice, and that could upset her husband who knows the right choice.

Talk to a poorer working family where money is tight -> you’re talking to the husband and the wife is going with whatever he says, she just wants to be a part of the convo.

Talk to a wealthier family where they can afford a ton of these type of things -> you’re first convincing the wife it’s important enough for her husband to deal with and then you’re convincing her husband who will be the one intense about the specifics and combative with his own knowledge.

A man’s share of domestic labor is not only the actual work associated with this stuff, but also the intense knowledge and understanding that comes with a bunch of obscure professional trades.

So, really, just doing a woman’s stay at home chores and taking care of kids is honestly a walk in the park compared to working and managed the masculine tasks.

Almost every home has stuff that makes it possible to keep your home incredibly clean with about 1 hours of work each day per 1000sqft. Hence why maids only need to come once a week or so.

Cooking three meals may take 2 hours total, if you go all Gordon Ramsey.

Ok, and you get to spend all day with your purpose for doing everything in your life, your tie to evolutionary biological directive, with whom you’re free to frankly do whatever you want. Once they are 5 you have 8+ free hours a day 9 months of the year.

Meet with their teachers every couple months, plan family events every month or so, and drive them to soccer practice.

Yeah… anyone that still thinks SAHM in 2024 is touch job is a lunatic.

Like the majority of people are working because they actually want to.

xxyyzz987 · 2024-10-27T19:05:36+00:00

I am a househusband and have raised four children. My wife works full-time. That was the best fit for us. We didn't get married until the children were already there. In the beginning it was a lot of stress, you feel very externally determined and full of obligations, more so than as an employee in a company. That takes time, but it eventually subsides and also falls below most professions. If they don't go back to work in a profession, men and I too tend to fill the increased freedom with new tasks of our own choosing - in my case it was beekeeping, orchards, cooking and learning.

The stress in the years after the children arrive depends heavily on the number of children. Up to two children and in a small town, it is likely to be less than that of a working employee.

angie-1964 · 2024-10-27T15:29:30+00:00

F60 here...Not even close. The easiest years of my life where when I stayed at home w our young kids.

Yes, you do live by their schedules, and in a way it is very 24/7 as well. But lack of concern of hitting performance goals etc...was an incredible time in my life.

Working, your schedule is completely controlled by your employer. I do concede a bit of privilege in the regard that I had a fantastic husband who could not have been better. Our house was already paid off before we had kids, so money really wasnt an issue either.

I understand it isnt or cant be for everyone...but I wouldnt change a thing. Would do again if I could, lol

Rad_Knight · 2024-10-27T20:26:01+00:00

I'd love to hear the feminist reason for why it is.

New-Distribution6033 · 2024-10-27T21:28:04+00:00

No, lol. I was a house husband for a couple of years. It was about 4 to 5 hours of light work, and I got to play with my kids most of the day.

Icy_Kangaroo_1742 · 2024-10-27T23:15:56+00:00

I am on maternity leave now and it’s amazing. Even though the lack of sleep is hard, it’s much easier than commuting every day into an office and working. I absolutely love being on leave and will be so sad when it ends! So I don’t agree that being a stay at home parent is harder than working away from home although this is only from my own experience and I appreciate it’s different for others.

Thequickredfoxjumps · 2024-10-27T23:21:31+00:00

Pfffft, I stayed home for 6 months on leave when my last son was born. I had a 4 year, 2 year and 6 month old. I put them on a schedule. Had the housework done by 10 am and had a blast with them afterwards. My wife went to work and did not do anything house related. Staying at home was not hard.

B1G_Fan · 2024-10-28T00:09:41+00:00

Is it easy? No

Is it as hard as feminists say it is? No

Should the stay-at-home parent be encouraged to appreciate their breadwinning spouse? Yes, especially because the stay-at-home parent doesn’t always get to see how important the breadwinner’s job is.

CompetitiveOffer5339 · 2024-10-28T01:53:12+00:00

My step grandmother was a house wife. She was one of the happiest people I knew. She always had extra time to hang with her friends, always had time to do extra activities, always had time to help her husbands mother (who she loved). She did laundry, cleaned the house, got groceries, did the basic housewife stuff.

My grandfather, her husband, was a sales man. He was always stressed, didn’t have as much free time, and work made him grumpy.

I’m tired of people saying housewife’s are “slaves”, or something. I take care of my house, work, and am going to college. Just doing the housework sounds like a dream.

asigop · 2024-10-27T13:51:26+00:00

Completely depends on where you live and what you do for work.

I am homesteading in a very rural setting completely off grid and I absolutely guarantee that both my wife and I work harder at home than either of us ever have at work.

For city, life is for sure easier at home, unless you have an office job.

kochIndustriesRussia · 2024-10-27T14:33:23+00:00

Obviously fucking not lol. That argument is from a 20 year old version of feminism. Modern ones don't try to persuade with that nonsense anymore. Enough men have been able to stay home over the last 20 years to say, " its actually pretty gravy" which is why so many feminists now are arguing to get back into the housewife career.

IAPiratesFan · 2024-10-27T15:59:06+00:00

I had surgery a few years ago, I couldn’t go right back to work for a week. I spent my days cleaning, doing the laundry, doing dishes, cleaning the kitchen and preparing dinner while still in pain from the surgery. Still managed to spend most of that time off watching stuff like Demolition Man and Robocop. It was easy and I’d probably get bored if I did that for more than a week.

McShagg88 · 2024-10-27T17:24:32+00:00

No it's not.

toblotron · 2024-10-27T15:33:21+00:00

I've been a SAHD to infants for about a year, summated.

I almost cried from relaxation the few days I was allowed to go to the office and work.

Taking care of children is more mentally strenuous than physically. Imagine not being able to take your eyes off an unpredictable, energetic little being for more than (not kidding) five seconds, because that is more than enough time for them to injure themselves, once they get somewhat mobile.

Being able to sit down in silence and drink a cup of coffee, maybe completing a complex thought or two, was my fervent dream.

After 1 year of age things started improving pretty quickly, in terms of the amount of attention that needed paying, but I'd say up until the age of 5 or thereabouts, I'd consider a day of working a normal job to be relaxing in comparison.

I still remember being so tired I couldn't see straight, and I felt I was shaking slightly at times 🙂

Without small children in the household I wouldn't consider keeping a house in order a strain at all.

SymphonicAnarchy · 2024-10-27T21:13:43+00:00

I’ve never been a stay at home husband, but just based on my 31 years of life experience, I think I’d kinda like it. I cook, clean and work while my wife works at home. If I didn’t have to work, I’d be able to organize and plan meals a hell of a lot better.

Dry_Dimension_4707 · 2024-10-28T05:39:26+00:00

I experienced both when my son was young. My husband passed way just a short time before I gave birth to my son, but thankfully I had strong family support from both sides. That support included child care as needed and male role models/mentorship for my son. Family did not participate in the daily running of my home and my son and I lived separately in our own home.

I worked part of his childhood and stayed home part of his childhood. I was in and out of the workforce sometimes a few years at a time based on what seemed best for my son. Sometimes work was flexible, work from home sort of work, sometimes work from office work. I was employed primarily in the pharmaceutical industry.

I found staying at home much easier, much less stressful, far more personally rewarding, built a good foundation for my son and I, and created a lot of great memories for us.

When I worked, I did not find juggling both home responsibilities and work particularly difficult. I am a well organized person who values structure and routine. I am efficient and task focused about my work, household and otherwise.

Crypt_Ghast · 2024-10-28T07:23:46+00:00

I am single and doing this all by myself. It's the easiest shit around, because we have machines. For cleaning clothes, for cleaning the dishes, vacuuming the apartment. After work I have much time for myself. And nobody is complaining, thats the most blissful thing.

educateddrugdealer42 · 2024-10-28T09:41:43+00:00

Now don't go brigading, but check this one out: https://www.reddit.com/r/Parenting/s/vexPR9cnUg

They admit it's easy when it's the man staying at home...

alter_furz · 2024-10-28T12:28:22+00:00

i'll tell you this: every time my wife would claim how hard the chores are, i suggested we switch places for a year

that shut her up 10 times out of 10

that tells you something

gloopy_gloppy · 2024-10-27T14:45:51+00:00

House chores are like nothing, and caring for children is far easier and far more fun than any SAHM will ever admit to.

I prefer staying home. At work now I do 10 hrs straight labor, but when I was stay at home I got all the chores done in an hour and had time to play.

Ok-Huckleberry-383 · 2024-10-27T15:07:52+00:00

Maybe back when women were cleaning clothes with a washboard in the river. Today, no. Simply, hell no.

Balthazar-Bux · 2024-10-27T15:37:21+00:00

Caring for young kids of a certain age can be a bit rough, but it doesn't compare to a day of work, especially to some of the demanding jobs that are done by men. Cleaning and cooking are super easy tasks. Also, you should never wholly trust anything a feminist says...

doggonedangoldoogy · 2024-10-27T17:10:14+00:00

I did it for 6 months once. It's the easiest most laid back way you could ever live. It's about 75% free time and no sense of urgency ever. They lie about how hard it is for one of two reasons in my experience. Either they've never had to actually work a serious position and believe what they're saying, or they have had to work a serious position and are terrified of being pressured into going back.

The only part that sucks is trying to leave the house for errands because what would normally be a 15 minute trip down the road can spontaneously transform into a 2 hour chore for a litany of whacky reasons when children are involved. So you end up feeling pretty trapped and isolated over time. That combined with the repetition of mundane tasks can start to get you pretty depressed.

Overall: Actual difficulty- 20% of a job Emotional toll- on par with a job

kit-kat315 · 2024-10-27T16:26:59+00:00

Having done each of these, I'd rank it like this:

1) SAHP- a lot of physical labor, few real breaks, more hands on time than a typical workweek. Assuming you're doing the lion's share of childcare for small children, and housework

2) work outside the home- I've always had an office job with 40-50 hours per week, so more mentally tiring and less physical. YMMV

3) house spouse- with kids in school, only 25ish hours per week. Main issue is the loneliness

jamiejagaimo · 2024-10-27T15:12:04+00:00

Not even close

thr0wawaydyel2 · 2024-10-27T22:34:08+00:00

https://youtube.com/shorts/TKx9opyJIpU?si=N-IblEr5Tcs0CGJ-

PriscillaPresley · 2024-10-28T00:18:50+00:00

My husband is a stay at home dad, it’s lots of on call stuff. So there might be downtime or there might be tons of fires to put out. Right now im away with the national guard and i know for a fact that he’s working harder than me.

xxTheMagicBulleT · 2024-10-28T08:34:21+00:00

It isent. Been single for a long time. In the past work 12 to 13 houre days and did all my house chores too.

Yes it get like 90 minutes more a day with children but honestly not that bad at all.

Women just wanna act like there slaves and demanding value from a men without haveing to contribute and have to give any value in return. Often the bare minimum is to much work.

Why those women are forever alone. You cant say your equality while you basically want to be cared and treated like a child.

And honestly without children it takes a houre or like 90 minuuts tops.

That instead of 12 houres of physical demanding labor.

Its fucking easy. And many things you dont even have to do every day. And women that say that do it ever day are fucking lying.

Like vacuming you oftenonly do every day if you have children our you have pets cause childrenare oftenon the floor and pets shed a lot more hair and make it necessary else its not even all that necessaryto do it every day. And (depending on how many people you have in yea house hold maybe the wash. But i had to often even do it only once every 5 days.) And clean the kitchen after cooking with the dishes. If you are not borderline retarded. That would not even take you 2 houres.

The rest are all small jobs you can do over the week or even every other week. Like doing your bed sheets not a damn soul does them every day. And a lot of similar things.

They just want to act like a child. And haveing children does add more work but not even dubbele the work. Cause you can soo make it yea self easy. Like you not gonna clean they toys of a child the whole time over the whole day right. You gonna streamline it and make it a game with your child before bed to like tidy up.

If a child "helps" make something you are gonna have more off a mess but at the same time. Its not realy more work then the normal baking amount. Like 10 minuuts more work then normal.

There countless things like that. That are blown way out of of context.

The same way women say like a whole massive list of expenses that they put on there face and ware all that stuff. But its literally the full price off all the products while most those products they do over a year with.

Same with chores. They lump up every chore. And act like they have to do it every day.

Its like men if they would act yard work painting work repair work all the task they would do true the whole year and would act like they have to do it daily. Its the same bullshit.

Its just the give me the most while i give you the least possible. Thats all it realy is.

Hopeful-Sir-2018 · 2024-10-28T10:56:14+00:00

No. I've been in that position. It's tremendously easier and SUBSTANTIALLY less stress. Like by leaps and bounds.

Anyone who says it's more difficult is simply lying.

First off, I was single all of my 20's. I did all my own chores. Dishes cleaned every night. Vacuumed and mopped weekly. Bedsheets, weekly. Clothes, twice per week (did gym twice per day). My place was organized and cleaned. I had regular meds to pick up. Cooked my own food 80% of the time. Cared for my plants and pets.

And I still managed to have boat loads of time to game.

Nothing at the house choring is more stress than the "if I lose my job, everyone that relies on me is fucked". Or the "it's the balls heat of summer and I have to mow, edge, blow, and trim the trees on this big ass lawn and I'm fuckin' exhausted".

So when women say "men need to do more household chores" while simply being a SAH-whatever - they can piss the fuck off and shut the fuck up. OR they can get a job and THEN ask for equal chores, as long as that job is the same hours you take on.

I had a friend whose wife would flip her shit because he wouldn't help around the house. He worked literal sun up to sun down doing lawn stuff commercially and high-end residential. He would basically have one hour to himself to do whatever from mid spring to mid fall. The other hour at home was eating, showering, and doing basic stuff that needs to be done for tomorrow. She demanded he help with dishes and dirty clothes. She had one toddler. So.. he would work about 7am to about 9p'ish. And she still bitched and moaned.

That marriage didn't last. She was similar to my ex-wife in many ways - basically the man wasn't allowed to be happy ever. If he was happy, she'd find something to be upset about. She also spent money like it was going out of style. So most of the day she was shopping for clothes and whatnot.

Now all that being said - when my ex-wife had to go through surgery, of course that meant I had to help with basic choring. No shit. But it's not like she can ever just swap work positions. So it's not like it's a perfectly fair trade.

So the next question is: If they want men to do more in the house - then are they going to be upset when men start demanding more? Ok, you want me to do more? Then you need to put out more. But take note how when you want something or expect something in return - you're the bad guy. But when the reverse happens and they want something in exchange... it's ok.

Nah, anyone who bitches and moans about the SAH stuff... they just want princess treatment without princess money.

I've heard of men taking on fewer hours to do this and then the woman gets upset because she can't spend like she used to.

Nah, you don't get both ways. Pick one and commit. If you want me to treat you like a child - I will, and you won't like it.

Honestly, I have no plans on getting married ever again unless I meat someone out-right amazing and, probably, out of my league. Because otherwise there's no real benefit to me and only risk. I'd rather be lonely than alone with someone who was supposed to care about me.

l3landgaunt · 2024-10-28T14:32:04+00:00

So I’m a single father and have to do all of that work plus a full-time job plus the stuff for the kids that’s fun. I’ve been able to work everything into my daily schedule, but I’m literally working from the time. I wake up until the time I go to bed every day when I have custody of my children. I wouldn’t say it’s hard, but it’s definitely challenging and you have to want to do it. My soon to be X want to be a stay at home mom but she thought it would be is going out and playing all day long. Instead, when it didn’t work out that way, she blamed me.

Nostradomas · 2024-10-28T14:51:03+00:00

I’d imagine it’s really stressful dealing with the kids non stop and minimal outside tasks. But man kids in school? I’d be smashing weights and taking naps and cooking and cleaning like a mfer.

HauntedJuice · 2024-10-28T15:31:06+00:00

I think it depends on how clean your housemates are.

Do you have pets that shed a ton? Get ready to mop and sweep everyday. Have a spouse that leaves their clothes on the floor? A mess every time they cook? Have small children? Good luck.

If you live with clean people you're all set. Live with wild animals? Not so much.

rahsoft · 2024-10-29T19:48:10+00:00

i point to bill burr on this :)

https://youtu.be/4Xp4z5qlyqs?t=86

I was an at home parent and it was challenging because I had a disabled child( has the same disability as myself) and dealing with a ( now ex partner) who was abusive and making me do some of her law work( largest law firm in the world- magic circle!), but wouldn't let me work...

how hard the job is depends on the circumstances..

But I still found it easier that every other job I did

comparing to the work place just means you trade one set of issues for another...

generisuser037 · 2024-10-30T06:22:01+00:00

no. absolutely not. anyone who says that has either never worked a real job, or doesn't know how to do chores/take care of children efficiently.

I've hade jobs in pretty much every entry level field (food service, coffee, childcare, retail) and BY FAR the easiest was childcare.

QueenieTheBrat · 2024-10-31T00:02:03+00:00

I think it depends. If a man is mature and cares about his home, then it is no bother at all. If a man acts and lives like a child, then that is a different story.

SidewaysGiraffe · 2024-10-27T14:17:45+00:00

A century and a half ago? Maybe. Today? The idea is laughable. Electric everything makes the old chores that took all day a matter of minutes (for the worker, at least; the machine still takes time to do its job).

The one thing is that, with a few exceptions, when you get home from work you're DONE with work, at least for the day; being a homemaker never actually stops. Even with easy labor, that imposes a BIG psychological drain, which it's very easy to underestimate.

Worldly-Wolverine-69 · 2024-10-27T15:26:29+00:00

I think their argument is that staying at home to take care of the house and kids is work. They were working to keep the house in order and care for the kids for generations and not getting credit for that work.

Now, whether it is harder or not, is tough to say. It would depend on the job.

VariousScallion8597 · 2024-10-27T13:48:31+00:00

https://youtu.be/uYJefpWgiQ0?si=ZmQlfrQSbybRIMEB

Relevant.

KaramLevi · 2024-10-28T16:54:00+00:00

Start charging the feminist for dates in social situations and for doing anything the man doesn’t want to do?

Noise in the night??? That’s $25 a hour unarmed and $36 a hour armed for over night security services. That’s $250-$360 per night for 10 hours service to secure the sleeping quarters.

Going to thanks giving at her families??? 2 hours $75 plus food 3 hours $125 plus food but will add kisses on the cheek and nice shared stories of our love 4+ hours I’ll tell jokes and make your parents laugh, I’ll clean up the table, and play catch or games with nephews and nieces but will also need a Togo bag and $225 for this service.

Assistance while shopping? $16.75 a hour $22.50 if I give fake feed back on cloths $32.50 for honest feed back hold purse and acting like your personal puppy 🐶while other women think you got me around your little finger.

Also there’s manSplaining which I will not do but if you do WomanMeandering when telling your story there’s a $15 dollar a hour additional surcharge for my mentor health recovery needs.

Sex will be free however extensive for play and making it very novel and romantic will be a $300 charge however it’s worth it so comes highly recommended. I’ll do a little dance and make you feel chased, pursued, until despite yourself you surrender in a way you’ve longed to surrender to… 50 shads of grey style ect, and I’ll be in a power suit while this goes down . .. expect lots of sexual tension and the event unfolding like a mystery.

Thanks dear. Btw what’s your charge for house cleaning? $35 a hour for 4 hours a week? Please take it of what you owe me. I appreciate it dear-

PNWbingopj · 2024-10-29T01:05:06+00:00

It’s a wide range. I’ve done both. Housework is not physically demanding, but it’s boring day after day drudgery with no end in site (chores). Being with the kids is wonderful but you miss being around adults. “Mother’s” little helper was a real thing and still is.

I’ve had good workplaces and bad workplaces. The bad ones I leave. I want to work and engage with adults and be recognized for my accomplishments AND I want to be part of my household and be with my children and help with the daily upkeep of my home. It makes me a full human being.

We’re not even in the world where it’s one stays at home and one works anymore, so this question is frankly just fantasy role play.

TheGamecockNurse · 2024-10-27T20:15:21+00:00

As a person who’s done both, and who continues to pull weight at home. 100% yes. Keeping a home clean, babies fed and children entertained is way more taxing g both physically and mentally than anything you can do in the real world.

So add that on top of working a full time job. Yes it is.

Main-Tiger8593 · 2024-10-27T14:33:20+00:00

feminists complain about this because women are seen as the default stay at home parent which might hurt your career even if you never want to be a parent... they want to redefine how society looks at work and values various things like jobs dominated by women... feminists want that chores at home get paid either by state or husband/partner...

that said they have no clue about economy and are terrible at analyzing data... they use conservative household data to proof that women are forced to become stay at home parents in liberal households AND claim oppression based on that...

if we talk about this topic we should not argue about what is harder we just present facts and search for solutions to "men work too much hours under unhealthy conditions"

cabsmom2020 · 2024-10-27T16:13:51+00:00

I can't speak for anyone besides myself. I'm a woman and have never been a SAHM, nor did I ever want to be. Why? It's risky and unfulfilling. I'm glad I'm a mom, but I definitely did not want my whole identity to be wrapped up in raising my son. My son is grown now - almost 30.

I don't think doing chores is hard unless you have several small children or special needs children or some other factor that adds to the load of responsibilities. I personally think it's just mentally limiting, especially if the man has a strict traditional role mentality. What's easy is not always the best for people mentally. I'm fairly intelligent, and doing chores and changing diapers and picking kids up from school is all necessary, but it's definitely not my idea of my role in life or at least not my only role.

Some men and women might never understand how some women don't want EASY. That's okay.

princess2036 · 2024-10-27T19:14:53+00:00

I'm a trad wife. I take care of everything inside the house. He takes care of the outside besides the garden, plants, and animals. He always has home cooked meals unless we decide to go out, which isn't often. I pack his lunches. It works for us. I have a small business that I'm just starting. He's supports me in following my passions. It definitely works for us.

Vijkhal · 2024-10-27T20:55:07+00:00

Depends on the number of kids and their age. One kid 0-3 takes up your time pretty much all day, in the first years also most of the night. More then one kid is even more demanding of course. Also, although it takes pretty much all day, many activities are pretty boring. Playing simple games or hanging out at playgrounds all day doesn't seem hard, but doing it for years on end is quite taxing on your psyche. People usually also have side hustles, being a stay at home parent for years is mostly a thing of the past. So your gig comes on top of some 6-12 hrs of the care work.

At work you have workers protection laws, the right for regular breaks, opportunities to eat or chat with co workers. You stay at home when you are sick and rest until your healthy. You get vacation days. You have weekends free. All of this doesn't exist when caring for a kid.

If it was so much fun and simple, why don't dads do it all the time? Because their love their night shifts in a shitty dead end job so much? Lol.

funnybillypro · 2024-10-27T16:07:04+00:00

bruh have you ever fought with a fitted sheet with a baby screaming at you?

i've only done one of these at a time. i'd scream if i had to handle both at once.

PurpleSpark8 · 2024-10-28T01:54:03+00:00

I'll say it's hard until children are going to school.

jessi387 · 2024-10-27T14:27:58+00:00

If you believe that, you’ll believe anything

eli_ashe · 2024-10-27T23:46:47+00:00

ive done both, tho as i homeschooled the kids my days were far busier than most than most stay at home parents.

my sense overall was that stay at home tended to be more work, because there you were always on call. vacation time meant working more, not less. weekends, you still on the job. after dinner, still on call.

that level of workload drops for most people when the kiddos go to school tho.

when i started doing full time work again, (did so prior to the stay at home thing), i was no longer homeschooling, i was doing single parent stuff at that point, and that also was quite demanding, when the kids were with me (50/50 split).

but when the kids werent here, it was way, way easier. like get off work, relax for eight hours before bed, weekends actually off, vacation time was actually vacation time. that to me sounds a lot more like the 'bread winner' role of 1950s middle class americana.

when i did full time work prior to having kids, also way, way easier. far and away easier.

I hear people on the convivences of housework, washing machines, dish washers, food prep is wildly easier than it used to be a hundred years ago, everyone got cars, and so on.

but imho, having done single parent, bread winner, and stay at home parent, the biggest single factor was the hours of being either on call or activity working. in that sense, bread winner role is far easier.

as others note, there are breaks and stuff at home, there is a truth that doing the stay at home parent thing you can oft take breaks with a bit of leisure to them, being at home i mean, no one watching you. but it oft isnt that different in a work environment. there are slow times of the day, months and year where the workload just tanks and sure 'you're at work not at home' and that kinda sux, but its false that folks that work outside the home are always working while they are on the job too. im sure that varies some from job to job, but is general.

Maximum-External5606 · 2024-10-27T13:02:48+00:00

I think both can be right. Lifting a couch/dresser and vacuuming under it is easy for a man. For a woman, it is a tremendous feat. So, to put it in perspective, if your day had objectives that were very challenging you would think it is hard work as well.

SomeWomanInCanada · 2024-10-27T18:10:26+00:00

Their day doesn’t end and it’s 7 days a week. A long weekend or Christmas holidays for a SAHP just means more cooking. No two week vacation, no set hours, they never get to leave their workplace, no co-workers to talk to, no quiet drive home from work every day.

Title	are house chores/being a stay att home parent/wife/husband really that much harder then working away form home like feminists say it is?
Author	Upper-Ad9228
Upvotes	181
Comments	249
Date	October 27, 2024 12:52 PM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/MensRights
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/MensRights/comments/1gda9v7/are_house_choresbeing_a_stay_att_home/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/MensRights/are-house-choresbeing-a-stay-att-home.1534256 https://theredarchive.com/post/1534256

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