Yes, most women will say that this is absolute bullshit, that they want equality. But what that really means is equality with someone who is advantaged compared to them. They want things to be equalized from the imbalance that IS their reality.

Whether they hate it, struggle with it, despair over it, it is still what resonates, it is what they belive to be true, the theme that they want to do something about. It is what they want to resolve. Men are advantaged, women drew the short end of the stick, so... so what? Well, that's on men to figure out. Do better. Make things right.

There is "men are supposed to be strong, don't whine", classic conservatism. And then there is "men are privileged, they have nothing to whine about". Men's advatage, superiority, strength is always centered.

Seeing men being in a position of weakness or vulnerability in contrast to women goes directly against literally everything that matters to women in the sexual context. It's quite literally the exact opposite of what resonates with women, that is why men will never get "mercy" or even an ounce of empathy from women in these areas. A man who somehow falls outside of women's image of male superiority is a man who does not have a "theme" in women's eyes. A man like that is nothing. Not a real man. No excitment, no contrast, nothing to bounce off of. He can't "make things right", he is not even able to embody the unfair, cruel superiority that women care about.

And yes, women are smaller, weaker, more vulnerable and have to carry the burden of pregnancy. Aside from the preached egalitarianism, this is the singular deeper truth for women. It's everything that's unfortuantely real for them.

Whether they subscribe to ideas of some masculine "real man" concept or whether they think men are privileged, they see men as "thriving freedom people" and they always have and probably always will. Not just as regular, flawed, insecure humans. Definitely not as people who feel an inescapable theme of their own that is comparable in "realness". A man embodies freedom or there is something off about him, not necessairly morally wrong or anything, and sure women won't like assault him, but definitely "nah, not interested".

There is nothing that women desire more than the freedom they perceive to have been robbed of by the world. But at the end of the day, this has always been women's theme and it's okay for men to not take it upon ourselves. That is the biggest reason why I think men should indeed sort of mentally detach themselves from women more, in a sense. Not as some "bargaining strategy", but simply because men's own feelings about our own side of the contrast, our insecurities and fears coming from it, what we wish to resolve are things only we have the capacity of caring about, and because owning these things in fact come at the expense of allure for women. So we have to work on it on our own. We have to be honest even when it's awkward. We have to help and care for each other anyway, and we have to continue digging into ourselves.

I think the gender war and "men whining online" is already partly that. It's a clumsy, painful process of attemtping to define our own reality regardless of whether women find that attractive or not, having it clash against the age-old narrative of male superiority. It's often not pretty, and there are things in this nameless online mass to be criticized for sure. But hopefully, we can continue to refine it anyway.