How do you like to split up chores?

attendquoi · 2025-08-06T13:51:30+00:00

When my husband and I first started living together, we both laid out which chores we preferred to do and which we hated. Fortunately, that lined up pretty well so there wasn't much to negotiate.

One basic rule we have is that my stuff is my responsibility, and his stuff is his responsibility. We each do our own laundry, for example. I have a chore schedule for myself. I don't know if he does, but I doubt it.

EulenWatcher · 2025-08-06T14:06:10+00:00

My husband and I split chores according to our free time, and it isn’t something we “keep track of”. There’s no covering for each other either. If something has to be done, it’s going to be done by a person who has time for it, that’s it.

These days I do most of the chores and cooking because I have more time - I’m studying and work part-time while he works full-time and has significant commute. When I have exams, he does more because I’m in a pickle. It’s a temporary situation though. When we both were working, it was more evenly divided, and I enjoyed it more because I’m really not a fan of chores or daily cooking.

flipsidetroll · 2025-08-06T15:30:33+00:00

I actually like doing housework. I can turn on some music and zone out. I also don’t and wouldn’t keep track of who does what, because that’s fucking childish. I would be cleaning whether I lived alone or not. But I also wouldn’t date a total slob because that means they are slobs in all areas. So I’ve never had a single fight about housework with any partner. My parents didn’t either. And thank someone for being an adult in their own house? The fact this is even a thing now, shows me why people are unemployed.

lesliecarbone · 2025-08-06T14:46:35+00:00

I prefer to live alone and employ a cleaning service :-)

Lemon_gecko · 2025-08-06T14:30:38+00:00

I know that i'm outlier here, so voicing my preference just so people know that it could be like that (i know that because men and women irl reacted like it's really unusual).

I prefer to live as roommates. I want to cook for myself, buy food for myself, and doing only my laundry etc. This is the only comfortable thing for me because i don't want to adjust my tastes, compromise and it's just easier to plan food without taking anyone into account. Also that means i don’t owe anyone anything and if i’m too lazy i’m the only one suffering lol. Sometimes it's easier to cook more than just one portion and i can share food or save it for leftovers, he is free to take food or not, depends on what he wants. There are times when i take money for food, there are times when it's for free. Same happens with him. Sometimes i want a dish that is too bothersome to make on my own and we can cook together if he wants it too.

With this way there are only tasks that are more complicated if separated than shared. Like cleaning, buying stuff for home, some maintenance, whatever. With cleaning usually you clean after yourself, there are rules about what you can't do in common space, and your space is up to you unless it's a hazard. I had arrangements when we took turns cleaning. When cleaning were done by him and i paid for it. There were not cases where i cleaned and was paid because i hate cleaning and will not do more than necessary. Or we hired a cleaning service. Generally speaking if we have same idea of clean house (and usually i had no issues with that) there were no problems to come to arrangement that would work. We have a budget for home stuff or we pay for it 50/50, depends.

Usually i talk about this if there is a possibility of moving in together and i just say that this is what i want. Somehow never found any issue with that, probably because of people i choose to live with.

SwimmingTheme3736 · 2025-08-06T15:01:22+00:00

I didn’t marry a child so my husband is fully aware of the work it takes to run a household

We don’t do set jobs we just do what needs doing when it needs doing.

We don’t keep track, sometimes one does more other times the other does more

ChadChasingBReturns · 2025-08-06T13:57:53+00:00

We have housekeepers, but we both straighten up at night. I enjoy doing the cooking and I wash the dishes as I go along. He rinses the plates and cups and loads the dishwasher before bed. We share all of the childcare, but he takes up more of that when I go to work. We don’t really have conversations about it. If you see something that needs done then you do it. You don’t wait to see if your partner will eventually get to it. We thank each other for what we do and we treat each other with kindness. There have been long periods in our relationship where I have been extremely sick and unable to take on anything at home. He would come to my house and take care of me. I tell him how much I appreciate him making it all work. You have to be a team.

toasterchild · 2025-08-06T17:51:05+00:00

Split up daily chores hire someone to do the rest.

Xeltar · 2025-08-06T19:28:27+00:00

Generally, we split cooking and dish washing. I'm fine washing dishes but I often don't really get home early enough to have dinner made at a good time (and I prefer having dinner earlier). I can't stand leaving dirty dishes in the sink or laundry lying around so I'm usually more on top of that.

I hire a cleaner for my house since I don't like doing that and saves time.

I've never kept track strictly who does what, but you know when someone isn't on the same page of cleanliness.

ThatBitchA · 2025-08-06T14:47:20+00:00

We don't keep track. We just clean what needs to be done.

Nobody is necessarily thanked for doing their part in household maintenance. We don't believe we should be thanked for doing the bare minimum of keeping a home clean.

Barneysparky · 2025-08-06T15:52:27+00:00

My husband's job has historically been harder/longer than mine, so the vast majority of housekeeping has always been on me. However, he has never been in the habit of leaving things for me to clean up, and if for whatever reason I can't say load the dishwasher that day, I know it will have been done.

He used to cook more, I'd clean up after, but for the past few years I've been more into cooking then him, I still clean up 90% of the time.

Lately, our hours have changed, with him trying hard to transition into retirement, maybe working 4 hours a day. I've also cut down my hours, our actual stress/workload is similar.

Generally speaking whoever has the say off, or works a short shift takes care of cooking, I still clean up more, but he does it more often.

Housework and yard work is done by me. When it comes down to working on the home, (we are redoing a 1929 craftsman) if it needs a power tool that's his department, I do everything else.

We don't need to discuss any of that, as both of us are just considerate, and we know things like: we both work better independently, I love painting things, he's a trained woodworker, I'm a gardener, he has allergies to grass, I'm nervous around power tools that can kill you etc etc. It's just a natural division.

I am so looking forward to him only working a bit from home, as I'm not a big fan of cooking!

As for thanking, I'm a chronic thanker in all parts of my life, every time when I'm in charge at work I thank all the crew, and often even have a couple of hugs when I'm leaving. So I'm over the top. My husband does a thank you darling all the time, although it's not natural for him, living with me for 25+ years it's impossible not to catch a bit of the habit.

S0yslut · 2025-08-06T16:10:59+00:00

We split chores along traditional gender roles. I’m a picky eater so I prefer cooking and lighter housework. He handles the stuff that requires strength or risk taking, like repairs, mowing/weed eating or anything involving ladders. I’m stay at home and do the gardening too on top of housework. As far as covering for him I cannot. now that I’m pregnant I can’t stay outside long because it’s just too hot I get dizzy and the only tasks I was able to do are mowing and weed eating but this has become too much for me. On days I’m sick he might cover for me on things that are essential like cooking for us or dishes, I probably just thank him with a kiss and a quick thanks. When I covered for him it wasn’t in anticipation of receiving anything. It was to help him out but he would probably do the same “thanks” kiss.

Sorcha16 · 2025-08-06T16:24:37+00:00

We're kinda see a need, fill a need type of people. Though I do the majority of the cooking and he does a majority of the dog walking. The rest we do as needed. I've never sat down and thought of the divide but id say we come out somewhere 50/50. Some weeks it can shift to 80/20 or 30/70. He works late, my job can have alot of heavy lifting. So sometimes we need to take the slack for the other one.

Flightlessbirbz · 2025-08-06T19:46:10+00:00

I do most of the daily chores (cooking, dishes) because he works more hours outside the home. When it comes to things like cleaning the bathroom or kitchen, we usually will make a deal like “you get the bathroom and I’ll get the kitchen.” We both struggle with ADHD and depression that tends to make us messy, so it takes a mix of patience and good-natured nagging to motivate each other to get it done.

We always thank each other but there’s no bribe system. That would assume it’s exclusively my responsibility to take care of the home, which it’s not. We both live here so the reward is a cleaner space and feeling good about ourselves because we struggle with that.

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leosandlattes · 2025-08-06T15:17:31+00:00

I do most of the chores because I don't trust any man to do them. My mom told me it's best to just do the chores that way I never have to fight about them, that's not done to the right standard or whatever. Or if he's a smart man, he would pay for a cleaning service to cover "his portion."

My man covers most of the financials and dates and the mental responsibility of the house maintenance because I do not want him touching anything related to cleaning or cooking - I have never in my life wanted a man to "split" this with me.

myboobiezarequitebig · 2025-08-06T16:46:00+00:00

I find cleaning therapeutic so I personally take it upon myself to do most of the chores. That being said, I do have an expectation that my fiancé is not going to make chores harder for no reason. He needs to make sure his clothes are in the hamper, if he takes something I expect him to put it back with a reasonable amount of time, if he uses his dishes to at least put them in the same, etc., etc. he can’t just be a free range slob and expect me to pick up after him.

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Title	How do you like to split up chores?
Author	Reasonable_Mouse789
Upvotes	0
Comments	82
Date	August 6, 2025 1:49 PM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/1mj56mo/how_do_you_like_to_split_up_chores/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/how-do-you-like-to-split-up-chores.1559015 https://theredarchive.com/post/1559015

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