Single mothers should put their kids up for adoption en masse.

EugeneCezanne · 2025-12-07T22:47:56+00:00

This is such a radical, underthought and cruel idea that I don't--and one which I have never heard before--that I don't think it needed a counter-argument.

Statistically, children fare better in dual-parent households than single-parent ones. However, the outcomes for any particular child vary so wildly, depending on other circumstances, that it's not worth jumping to general conclusions. It's always a case-by-case basis, with obviously disadvantageous cases tending to be more numerous specifically because people rarely become single parents under desirable conditions.

Moreover, as you have already pointed out the flaw in relying on the foster system as it stands, further consider the immense, unprecedented strain put on that system by a directive to suddenly absorb a nation's population of single-parented children. It's an unthinkable logistical hurdle that would make things much worse for virtually every child involved.

ChewedMyWayOutOfThat · 2025-12-07T22:49:06+00:00

I realize you are being facetious but these are the same arguments men's rights proponents make, where they blame the parent that stayed and excuse the parent that left. Of course they would, because men lack empathy and on the rare occasions they do empathize, it's to defend and empathize with another man's terrible, self-absorbed life choices.

Yes, because there's an army of selfless non-parents dying to do the unpaid thankless grunt work of parenting and raising someone else's child, for zero benefit to themselves.

If men can't be even bothered to care for their own kids, even though they benefit the most in passing their genes down, their legacy and having a caretaker in old age (where men also benefit but don't reciprocate as men leave their elderly parents to rot and have a 20% chance of abandoning their wives when their wives get ill), how the fuck are we gonna find these selfless non-parents?

Yeah, I'm sure it's a coincidence that women outnumber men 5 to 1 in regards to custodial parenting and why women are almost always the default parent, even though they have their own full time jobs. Because parenting is so fucking fun and not because men try to delegate their parenting duties to the nearest women.

The problem isn't single moms. It's lazy, shitty men who won't take responsibility for contraception, refuse to parent and then have the fucking balls to complain when they are rightly criticized for being self-absorbed and lazy.

Edit: More statistics to prove how shitty and irresponsible men generally are: single parents household comprise of 25% of the modern family dynamic and they are mostly led by women. Of those in single parent households, only 8% are led by single men.

theminxisback · 2025-12-07T22:36:38+00:00

As someone who was raised by a teen mother, I am honestly glad she kept me and didn't put me and my sister in the system. We would've turned out a lot worse if she had.

Thing is, she wanted nothing more than to be a mother and have someone who loved her. She had a very traumatic upbringing.

I raised my sister and my mother. I would say I turned out alright for someone who scored 9 out of 10 on the Adverse Childhood Experiences (ACES) test. And had to push through to survive.

I don't think putting a bunch of children in the foster care system would be beneficial. Honestly, I think it would make matters much worse.

As someone who used to work in the system and saw the way children were treated... I am beyond grateful my mom chose to keep us. Who knows what would have happened if she didn't..

There need to be more resources to helping single parents overall.

Blacktransjanny · 2025-12-08T00:38:21+00:00

I cannot think of anyone who looks at the historical orphanage system and goes "yeah that's definitely the best way to raise kids".

KayRay1994 · 2025-12-07T22:40:42+00:00

I’m a bit confused. Your title suggests that single mothers should put up their kids for adoption, but the body of your text says the opposite

Makuta_Servaela · 2025-12-08T12:51:24+00:00

Just because a kid has a single parent doesn't mean they have no other support. They often have a consistent place to live with a consistent school and consistent peers, they likely have at least one set of grandparents, aunts and uncles, etc. Kids in foster care have none of that. They can't rely on each other, can't rely on any individual parent to provide long-time or more expensive support, move around a lot so frequently lose their peerbase or job, etc. They may even lose their siblings.

MyLastBestChance · 2025-12-07T23:30:22+00:00

Or maybe…fathers should be involved in and invested in their children’s lives whether or not they have sexual access to the mother…

Outside_Memory5703 · 2025-12-07T22:27:54+00:00

Nope. Children of divorce and widows would do better with split/shared custody or blended families

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growframe · 2025-12-07T22:14:12+00:00

"People say X should do Y.

If Y is so much better, then X should do Y".

There's nothing to debate because you haven't provided any reasoning for your point.

Whiskeymyers75 · 2025-12-07T22:44:50+00:00

Nope. My ex can give me my son instead and pay me child support.

DietTyrone · 2025-12-07T22:50:23+00:00

This is only a good idea if the mother vets a couple beforehand that agrees to adopt the child. Otherwise, just randomly putting kids in an orphanage when at least one of the parents is capable and willing to raise the kid would be objectively worse.

TL;DR - 2 parent household > single parent household > life in orphanage.

harmonica2 · 2025-12-08T00:47:38+00:00

Since it was said before here that a lot of guys want to have kids more than women, would a lot of guys prefer the women they had the kids with, just gave the kids to them instead of putting up for adaption?

No_Teacher_3313 · 2025-12-08T01:48:59+00:00

Adoption is a huge trauma for children, even when adopted by a wonderful family. You totally fail to take this into account. Children are not things.

Praymyexdies2 · 2025-12-08T02:02:12+00:00

They have the impulsive and reckless genes and will still grow up to be criminal poors.

Main-Tiger8537 · 2025-12-08T04:46:45+00:00

uff if we talk about the best interest of the child you have to put consent to parenthood and at which point cps has to revoke custody of irresponsible parents on the table...

if two adults have unprotected sex both act irresponsible... if the woman refuses to abort while knowing the man does not want to be father she repeated irresponsible behavior... neither of them should raise children if we as society care about the best interest of the child...

sure you can not force her to birth or abort but custody is a different story... yes im aware that people will say this indirectly forces a decision but bringing a pregnancy to term vs abortion should consider the best interest of the child or not?

Rredhead926 · 2025-12-08T05:36:52+00:00

People who place infants for adoption aren't putting them in the foster system. There are far more hopeful adoptive parents waiting for infants than there are infants to adopt. Infants placed privately go home immediately with their adoptive parents, who are intended to be their forever families.

I still don't think all single mothers should place their kids for adoption, for a lot of reasons, but your equating adoption with the foster care system is incorrect.

HahaHeyyyFuckYou · 2025-12-08T06:40:06+00:00

You answered your own question with statistics that foster care is worse than single mothers on a child’s upbringing, so um how did typing that sentence out not change your mind?

Different_Cress7369 · 2025-12-08T08:24:00+00:00

I’m a widow. My children are all I have left of my husband, and you can take them from my cold, dead hands.

Podlubnyi · 2025-12-08T09:54:58+00:00

A better solution would be to encourage women to stop having children with men who don't want to be fathers, and removing the incentives they have to become single mothers.

jadzia_d4x · 2025-12-09T14:21:50+00:00

I wish that culturally and societally it was more common/encouraged for single mothers (and people in general) to share households with each other in the absence of existing intergenerational family presence.

We fix so many problems when we acknowledge that the nuclear family situation is not so easy to find and maintain nowadays, regardless of how much one might wish it were.

Economically this is the only thing that makes sense to me, relationally it seems way more secure. It doesn't exclude long term relationships, people can still leave for whatever reason but it doesn't mean divorce.

MarioWilson122 · 2025-12-07T22:47:40+00:00

Naw they should take care of their responsibilities, best to have a two parent household of course, if they cant then both parents sharing the responsibility is better then this.

-Shes-A-Carnival · 2025-12-08T05:02:49+00:00

why do you all talk about single moms so much, are you all black or juggalos?

Title	Single mothers should put their kids up for adoption en masse.
Author	GGMcThroway
Upvotes	0
Comments	84
Date	December 7, 2025 10:08 PM UTC (7 months ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/1pgv4wr/single_mothers_should_put_their_kids_up_for/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/single-mothers-should-put-their-kids-up-for.1568325 https://theredarchive.com/post/1568325

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