First we have to define the word “transaction”. In this post a transaction is a completed agreement, or exchange of something between two or more parties.

When there are expectations and obligations a relationship is — de facto — transactional.

I’m not commenting on what the transaction is. I am purely commenting on the *existence of a transaction*.

Example: A husband and a wife enters an agreement about labour in the home. In the agreement it’s stated the husband has to take out the trash and mow the lawn. The wife has to cook and clean.

The wife now has an expectation that the husband takes out the trash and mows the lawn. That means the husband is obligated to take out the trash and mow the lawn.

The husband now expects for his wife to cook and clean. The wife is now obligated to cook and clean.

The transaction in the example above is the labour in the home, but it could also be a multitude of other things.

As soon as one person in the relationship expects something, the relationship de facto becomes transactional.