Old people have no understanding of how dating works today

AirportLow6674 · 2026-07-17T20:31:07+00:00

35 year olds are very much immersed in the modern dating scene as well.

Only 35 year olds “on ice” as I like to call them (long term relationships or married for years) are truly clueless.

Kaleidoscopetide · 2026-07-17T20:31:49+00:00

Lmao those ancient 35 year old crones writing on their clay tablets. Anyway I do think that some older people do give advice that’s similar to “just walk in there and ask for a job;” on the other hand, I, a zoomer, have gotten two jobs by just walking in there with a printed resume. Dating advice from older people is like that too: there are technologies that are designed to filter out a majority of people that did not exist when they were young, but there are ways of bypassing those technologies by just doing things the old fashioned way. You get a lot of points with both employers and potential dates just by existing in real life as who you say you are. Old people’s advice about how to get a date in person—dress nice, smell nice, encounter the person repeatedly, go to a dance—still works in person.

Gravel_Roads · 2026-07-17T20:48:48+00:00

Posts like these seem to forget that “old people” aren’t all happily in long term relationships.

Many people over 30 are also on the dating market and trying to find partners right now as we speak. Dealing with the same shit you are.

This is why so many people laugh at those “Men don’t have high standards, we’d take the average woman!” But then you don’t even consider any woman over 35 to even count as people.

pie-mart · 2026-07-17T20:28:42+00:00

Aren't the people who are successful the ones you want advice from? Yeah, they may have some dated ideas but generally understand better how to be in a relationship better than perpetually single people

-mixedsignals · 2026-07-17T20:36:28+00:00

I've seen this before "don't give dating advice if you are in a relationship" "don't give dating advice if you are +35 (even if ou are using the exact same apps as anyone else" "don't give dating advice if you are a woman" "don't give dating advice if you are a Chad, I'm short so it doesn't work"

Who are you taking advice from then?

an incel?

Also maybe some advice doesn't fit you but it might be useful for someone else. Why don't you just take the advice that suits you and just ignore the rest?

Are you expecting everyone to cater to your specific advice needs?

AngeAware · 2026-07-17T20:38:37+00:00

I genuinely feel like society and youth culture are evolving so rapidly at this point sometimes I can't even relate to what somebody four years younger than me is saying or what they're dealing with in terms of dating. A perfect PPD where everyone relates to everyone is never going to exist. In fact experiences are going to become even more fragmented with time.

I have a friend that age who has had at least three dudes she went on first dates with talk about their ex for prolonged periods.

When the fuck did that become a thing? I feel like that sort of thing was common sense not to do and that sort of person was widely mocked when I was coming of age.

pm_ur_duck_pics · 2026-07-17T21:46:41+00:00

I’m old and I date so I have a pretty good idea.

OffTheRedSand · 2026-07-17T22:09:54+00:00

the issue with this is that it's said by the younger people every few years, at some point it becomes moot.

i think it's just that dating is differnet at different stages in life, and 30 year old once were 20 year old.

"but they didn't have tinder and instagram back then!" they had myspace and OKcupid.

most young people date within their social circles and from school and whatnot, this still exist, a 20 year old is more likely to date another 20 year old from uni or friend of a friend than meet their SO from tinder, so basically the same as 30 year old when they were 20.

MarioWilson122 · 2026-07-18T03:07:54+00:00

I think you're focusing on the wrong cutoff. Someone in their 30s can still have a very good grasp of modern dating, especially if they're still dating themselves or stay immersed in what's changed. The bigger disconnect usually starts when people have been out of the dating market for 15–20 years and aren't familiar with how apps, social media, and modern dating culture have changed things.

I'd be much more skeptical of advice from someone in their late 40s, 50s, or older who's been married for decades and has no experience with today's dating environment. That's very different from someone who's 35 or even 40 and still actively participating in it.

So I don't think it's really an age issue. It's an exposure issue. The longer someone has been removed from modern dating and the less they've kept up with it, the more likely they are to lose the plot.

Demasii · 2026-07-17T23:10:45+00:00

When you've been on PPD long enough, you've seen every argument against every possible way of meeting people.

Cold approaching ("The police will get called on me!")

Social groups ("They're too clicky" "There is one woman and five men" "A bunch of married couples")

College ("They are in their prime, slutty and only date rich Chad")

OLD ("I'm not 6 feet tall!")

There isn't one magic solution. If meeting people isn't happening naturally, you have to combine multiple low probability opportunities together.

Listening to older people is to get ideas that might be different from your peers (or lack of peers)

TinyFlamingo2147 · 2026-07-17T21:33:30+00:00

Oh my god, you guys need to realize you're trying to date 1 individual person. Not "women".

Feeling_Ad_1034 · 2026-07-17T20:38:47+00:00

Is there examples of this on here?

Mq200 · 2026-07-17T21:00:40+00:00

A 35 year old and a 70 year old definitely have or have had the same dating experience /s

Late_Painter_7120 · 2026-07-18T00:06:52+00:00

Anyone claiming that they know how dating works today is just full of shit/arrogant from the getgo and should be seen as a sophist with a superiority complex

Present-Afternoon-70 · 2026-07-17T20:53:04+00:00

The majority of the world isn't living in the hyper-online future you think it is. Look up the Tiffany problem. The only thing age really gives you is enough time to learn how much you don't know and how much is just the same shit.

The biggest thing we old people know is what people are actually like outside the internet. The fundamentals haven't changed. Meet enough people in meaningful ways, be open to them, and relationships happen. Dating apps changed a tool, not human nature.

You're not new, you're not unique, and you're every bit as fucking dumb as we were at your age. We thought we had it all figured out too.

I'll grant you that plenty of Boomers never updated their worldview. But Millennials and younger Gen X grew up alongside the internet. We watched all this develop in real time. Pretending we have no idea how dating works today is just another way young people convince themselves their problems are unprecedented.

EugeneCezanne · 2026-07-17T21:00:07+00:00

I just turned 40. But I'm in the dating game, a lot more so than most of you. And I date Gen Zers, unlike many of you. If you dont want to hear how, just block me.

AffectionateBelt6125 · 2026-07-17T21:50:28+00:00

35+ is old now....😭

coochie4sale · 2026-07-17T21:56:50+00:00

A 35 year old is a millennial! They definitely understand modern dating.

Anyways, I’m a 22 year old Gen Z-er, and I just don’t think there’s that much that’s different about dating. A lot of my friends met their partners in real life, via college or through friends. Even meeting through social media is not a super modern phenomenon, read up on the coupling that Facebook inspired.

ThyDoctor · 2026-07-17T22:31:59+00:00

I'm in my thirties and Tinder launched while I was in High School and I met my wife on it in College.

Some things have changed but like online dating has been very common for at least a decade.

bluestjuice · 2026-07-17T20:38:25+00:00

Couple of things here.

Yes, there is an aspect of this that is fair play. People who haven't dated in twenty years are not necessarily good advisors on the specific weirdnesses of Zennial dating dynamics.
On the other hand, heterosexual relationships and gender dynamics exist as part of a historical continuum, which can make a longer view useful for offering meaningful perspective. Older people are also (potentially) capable of sharing wisdom about the human element, which changes more slowly and more superficially than other aspects of culture. Emotional intelligence and experience are somewhat universal -- I've gained useful insights into romance from reading angsty Roman poetry. A significant portion of 20-somethings' relational woes have to do with being young and inexperienced, and everyone over 35 has been there too.
This space in particular is not created for 20-somethings to get dating advice, but for people to debate Red Pill ideas. Theoretically this could still be intellectually stimulating even if TRP was abandoned en masse tomorrow and we were evaluating it retroactively as an antiquated curiosity. Also, people who are 35+ date, have sex, and so on, so there isn't a reasonable argument to exclude our voices from ongoing discussions about the topic. Dating and sex are for everyone*.

*Well, everyone over a developmentally-appropriate minimum age and in compliance with legal boundaries.

Expensive_Lion1807 · 2026-07-17T22:07:40+00:00

Idk how to tell you this but…old people date😱. They also fuck!!! I know, 🤢 right?

Working_Em · 2026-07-17T22:36:47+00:00

Sounds like a bit of a backwards way to think about it. Like, people are people and still the dumb horny animals they’ve always been. Just because certain stories around it change doesn’t mean those stories are more true than messy ways people have connected for thousands of years.

Live_Guidance7199 · 2026-07-17T23:47:52+00:00

Ever think they're right? I mean the species did thrive under them and is dying off under the younger gens. Perhaps good old fashioned meeting people in the real world works.

Zoya_The_Destroyah · 2026-07-17T21:14:00+00:00

I’m in my early 30s, so not far from the old people you’re talking about. We were using dating apps and messaging people on Instagram, too. A lot of us were in college in the 2010s man. People have changed a bit since then but a lot of the apps you’re using now were around then too.

ThatBitchA · 2026-07-17T21:16:45+00:00

People who are 35 today, were 7 in 1998.....

I was 12 in 1998. I wasn't dating in 1998.

Based on the younger generation inability to do simple math, I feel very comfortable giving dating advice.

As someone who dared for decades, I feel very comfortable giving dating advice.

As someone who has had hookups, relationships, and everything in between, I feel very comfortable giving dating advice.

But if y'all would prefer to listen to advice from single men who have limited results.....I mean that's your perogative.

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Just_Fisherman4910 · 2026-07-17T20:42:06+00:00

I think you really ought to distance yourself from your parents because it looks like you are projecting...

harmonica2 · 2026-07-17T20:43:04+00:00

I know a gen x married couple who met in a bar , but I guess you can't do that today ?

Winter-Item4335 · 2026-07-17T23:44:16+00:00

Okay miss know it all!
Where do you think we were for the last 16 years?
I bet you are all of 24 yrs old and you know everything your comments tell how ignorant and immature you really are by dismissing us old ( over 35) a fool doesn’t at least listen to advice from wiser more experienced people who just happen to really know it all.
So go ahead and make your mistakes and horrible life decisions us old folks sure enjoy laughing at you failing and floundering trying to navigate your way through dating.

PhaseExtra1132 · 2026-07-18T02:47:34+00:00

I’m in the between generation. And the issue is both sides.

Gen Z act all autistic. And that’s causing a lot of problems. Gen Z girls match with me more on these apps then anyone else because they go after mellenial dudes after recognizing we know how to take them on a date and dress half decent.

But also older folks don’t understand how these apps have ruined dating. Before the apps everyone and I mean fucking everyone was in a relationship.

Now no one is. It’s crazy. Even the nerdy guys at school used to be with the nerdy girls. Everyone was in a relationship. No incels really.

Crazy how times have changed.

Suddenfury · 2026-07-18T07:56:03+00:00

Buddy I'm 35+ and I'm dating women your age.

Ok-Ninja-8165 · 2026-07-17T20:51:38+00:00

Human nature didn't change in those years. Fact that you can't talk to a girl without ritual humiliation in the dedicated swipe-to-be-humiliated app is your own problem. Dating apps/sites exist for decades at this point.

Solondthewookiee · 2026-07-17T21:46:00+00:00

With all due respect you have no clue. In your “hay day” the newest piece of technology was a blackberry.

Bahahahaha sorry bud, I was using dating apps well after BlackBerries went under.

But it's cute that you think it's SO different now when, in reality, red pill has been saying this same exact shit since before it was even called red pill.

Hey if it's so old and out of touch, why do red pillers use a survey from 2009 to prove the 80/20 rule?

Ok_Use7 · 2026-07-17T20:55:27+00:00

Today's dating woes stem from skill issues.

Old people have great advice. They may not be up to game on "how it is" today but the reason a lot of young struggling people can't implement said advice is due to lack of skill.

You have it far easier than the olden times with dating apps, social media, knowledge of how to interact with each other yet can't use any of that to your advantage? Skill issue. Not the old folks fault.

Tess27795 · 2026-07-17T20:43:59+00:00

Duh, I have a daughter and son and they have friends. I know some of the issues and struggles.

BTW, I spent the first 6 years of my life without a TV because hardly anyone had one. This does not mean my brain is dead or cannot get issues.

Do you think someone without children can be a child psychologist? Someone without cancer is an oncologist. People can understand issues. Our brains are not frozen in time.

Outside_Memory5703 · 2026-07-17T20:49:10+00:00

Men being thirsty and sex prioritized and women being pickier and relationship focused is exactly how dating works, and always has

NotAllTheCake · 2026-07-18T00:26:56+00:00

I agree. I also don't want some 20 year old who know nothing about nothing mansplaining the patriarchy, abortion and the draft.

Being a good person, doing your chores and not expecting women be unpaid rehab centers for men is timeless advice that will always be relevant.

Men have always been lazy and exploitative of women. The only difference is, in the past, women just had to accept it. Now they don't and they're staying away in droves.

You mean you don't want a lazy partner that works but does nothing else? Yeah, now you know how women felt, since the beginning of time.

Title	Old people have no understanding of how dating works today
Author	BichonFriseLover
Upvotes	21
Comments	109
Date	July 17, 2026 7:27 PM UTC (4 days ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/1uz9l9o/old_people_have_no_understanding_of_how_dating/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/old-people-have-no-understanding-of-how-dating.1585294 https://theredarchive.com/post/1585294

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