The “brain being fully developed” argument is not relevant in the age gap discussion

xKalisto · 2026-01-13T22:42:30+00:00

The brain not being fully developed is not relevant period because it's a pop science myth.

Prefrontal cortex reaching peak around 25 is not the same as "fully developed brain".

Ego73 · 2026-01-13T19:14:20+00:00

Those studies aren't even relevant. They just stopped measuring at 25 (it had been 16 initially, but it was extended since the brain kept developing). The human brain might not even be fully developed at 50 years old.

No_Personality5381 · 2026-01-13T19:27:49+00:00

They don't care. It's not about the brain. Men older than my father approach me not because they want to engage with me in intellectual discussions.

Edit: as 20yo I say that 80yo man dating a 19 is a groomer. What now, RP? Call me a bitter post wall hag who is jealous of younger 19yo?

New-Western-4819 · 2026-01-13T20:14:57+00:00

Look, you can do whatever you want, but you can't force everyone else to agree with it or morally co-sign it, or even make them shut up about it. In my extended family, there have been multiple age gap relationships, and every time someone mentions them, the age gap comes up at some point or another. It's something people notice, whether they agree or not.

bison5595 · 2026-01-13T21:23:50+00:00

Age gap discourse is completely ridiculous. First, 90+ percent of women 18-25 dont even date men that old to begin with. Second, the main reason people find age relationships disgusting is because the guy is old and ugly. If they mostly looked like brad pitt or idris Elba, you wouldnt see nearly the amount of pearl clutching as you do.

PghSubie · 2026-01-13T19:31:57+00:00

I'm not interested in even being friends with an 80yo who is so emotionally stunted they are in a relationship with a 19yo. They're at completely different stages of life with completely different sets of life experience

Trouvette · 2026-01-13T22:46:33+00:00

Sigh

No one is going to be moved by any argument made about age gaps. Most people find them cringey for a reason. Do whatever you want. But accept the judgement that comes with wanting the age gap as the price you pay for it. Most people will not be applauding you.

januaryphilosopher · 2026-01-13T19:13:11+00:00

The brain development thing is odd as obviously our brains change and develop our whole lives but what they're getting at is that fundamentally people who are decades in age apart aren't thinking about or prioritising the same things as they're not in the same life stage, and the chance they will be compatible is slim unless one of them is so immature it's worrying.

ChewedMyWayOutOfThat · 2026-01-13T20:02:53+00:00

Men suddenly care about women's agency, but only in the context of rationalizing men's exploitation of women.

They fully understand the ramifications of the agreement they enter.

One of the ramifications is that they are going to be judged for dating someone at the youngest age legally possible. The only thing stopping these men from dating younger is the law.

ilovecum2115 · 2026-01-13T19:12:55+00:00

Yeah, I think it's an expression of moral emotivism. People find the idea icky and try to rationalize why it is immoral.

jorts-enthusiast · 2026-01-13T19:14:48+00:00

No it definitely is relevant. For the same reason that you aren’t allowed to get a tattoo until 18, and you aren’t allowed to drink alcohol until you’re 21. Younger people aren’t dumb, but they don’t have the same cognitive resources and life experiences as older people.

Financial_Leave4411 · 2026-01-13T20:20:22+00:00

Isn’t it funny that old men don’t want to be friends with young men because those men are childish and not in the same place in life but magically young women are different….🤔

Standard-Banana6469 · 2026-01-14T04:00:20+00:00

Biologically humans should sart having kids as soon as they are healthy enough to. End of discussion. Requirements for good jobs have pushed people to hold off on having kids. The problem is ecconomic

Stunning-Potato-1984 · 2026-01-14T15:15:49+00:00

I understand why this is debated endlessly but it's stupid. We all know a girl in our lives whose: mother father, siblings, grandparents, uncles and aunts would all hit the roof if she brought home a 32 year old man as her boyfriend. We also know there are a bunch of men who fantasize about dating the younger attractive women who wouldn't look their way when they were younger themselves now that they have money. We know there are girls who understand this guy is a walking wallet at their age but we also understand some girls don't, they don't. If they don't they can end up in a bad situation, which brings us back to: family and people who value a girl as a person and are concerned for her wellbeing and future.

No father wants to walk his daughter down the aisle to a man his age, unless maybe she signed a prenup that heavily weighs in her favor or he received a good bride price.

Date a younger woman, know you'll get judged and your value is as a piggy bank. Most people are just concerned the girls don't know what their value proposition to the older man is. So long as they do... We're all on the same page.

So let's stop saying brain development and say: we just want to make sure everyone's on the same page: this is why he wants to be with you and this is why she wants with you.

TeensyTea · 2026-01-13T20:21:40+00:00

what is this sub's deal with age-gap relationships anyway? the relationship age-gap is smaller than is ever been, the frequency of age-gap relationships is at an all time low and still declining, and the relationships keeping age-gap stats alive are between older couples — not today's young people. but like 1 in 3 posts here is still mentioning age gaps...

mashedturnip · 2026-01-13T22:34:48+00:00

Of course it is. I was a dumbass in my teens and early 20s, and any man over 30 that pursued me would have been a predator

wtknight · 2026-01-13T20:03:56+00:00

It’s relevant if one believes that there is a “power dynamic” between a fully developed brain and a not fully developed one, though. I frankly believe that adults should have freedom of choice, but I have to point out that your post forgets this important argument.

DriverInitial8305 · 2026-01-13T21:21:41+00:00

Women only care about this argument bc older men tend to have the luxury to date younger than them when the inverse just isn’t as appealing.

harmonica2 · 2026-01-13T23:08:35+00:00

I'm 41 and my gf is 25 , but as far as power imbalances go I feel like she has more options than I do and could leave me and replace me at any time unless that's just me being naive?

Keepora · 2026-01-13T21:15:07+00:00

Women get mad about age gaps and yet 99% of teachers in high school and middle school that fuck their students are women. Lol All I ever see if female teachers getting caught fucking their students multiple times a year.

Punch_Drunk_AA · 2026-01-13T20:19:59+00:00

So what's the metric you considered "enough" for said 18 to 19 y/o?

Would a 17 y/o that passed a written test work for your argument? How about a 13 y/o?

The age of consent was as low 12 in some US States in the last century. We look back at that as barbaric today but, people fought against raising that age to what it is today.

What's the minimum age a person with demonstrative knowledge (regarding the dynamics of human sexuality) that you would consider "old enough?"

There are 1000s of examples of successful relationships between couples with 10+ years of age difference. They worked because the couples entered them in good faith and did the work to ensure their success.

I don't believe you guys that argue for age gap relationships are doing so in good faith. You're trying to get society to sign off on letting our daughters marry old men for brood mares.

Just because it's legal, doesn't mean it's right to do so.

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FairCountry4691 · 2026-01-15T01:38:29+00:00

An 18 year old woman can consent to sex with an 18 year old man but not with a 26 year old man. Make it make sense.

deskws1 · 2026-01-15T03:07:19+00:00

It's ok, you don't have to come up with reasons why you prefer younger women.

Intelligent-Insight · 2026-01-15T03:23:23+00:00

Haha of course not. If brain being fully developed was that important, then nobody should even be allowed to date until it is. There's nothing special about any age, too. The how is 18 yo able to consent but someone who turns 18 tomorrow isn't? That's a legal thing and has nothing to do with biology and brain.

People who care about age gaps and reject (or judge) others due to age gap are simply ageist but want to sound righteous and don't to be associated with any -ism. They are enjoying the fact that society is too busy with sexism/racism and doesn't pay much attention to ageism. But their time will come.

Low_Rich_5436 · 2026-01-15T09:11:29+00:00

My first relationship was age gap. I was 18. Being with an older man helped me in my development. The argument that unfinished people are better for each other than someone more mature offering guidance and a safe space to someone still figuring themselves out sounds nonsensical to me.

Thanks David, you made me feel safe, and I was a little shit to you.

pie-mart · 2026-01-13T19:47:31+00:00

I don't think your brain needs to be 25 to have sex and be in a relationship

I just think two people should have around the same amount of experience. In life, sex, friendships, and relationships

With a person being very young with an old person, the power shifts because the older person has more experience and knowledge about relationships

A young person may never had a relationship and thus may not know what they like or what a healthy relationship looks like.

To me its weird if a person is continuously pursuing teens when they are way past that age bracket

However if you just met someone and yall are compatible thats cool

To me it signals something wrong with men and women who go after people who could still be in high school or freshmen in college repeatedly wjen they are like 28 and older. Just creepy.

But is fine if it was like just a chance encounter

fiftypoundpuppy · 2026-01-13T20:45:02+00:00

Most people argue based on power dynamics due to a gap in resources and experience, not primarily brain development

Men understand quite well how much experience matters when they rage about partner counts and how the sluts are taking advantage of desperate virginal men who don't know what "true raw desire" looks like

Isn't that funny?

6ixPiccolo · 2026-01-13T21:09:32+00:00

So much cope from old women here. I don’t even know where to start.

arsnu · 2026-01-14T01:08:50+00:00

Age of consent in my country is 14. Redpill influencers here are speaking about 12 year old girls being "ready to fulfill their duty as women".

Bibibitch2002 · 2026-01-18T02:12:01+00:00

That comment was a critique of your argument based on the evidence you provided not matching up with the assertion claimed, so yes that is an argument. And if it’s not an argument….why are you claiming that it is bad faith? Bad faith is about argumentation. That’s crucial to your position here, you do know that right?

You don’t have to reveal anything to question someone, and the fact that you want people to share additional information that they do not have to when they critique your position makes you look extremely weak in your capabilities to defend your argument. You should be able to defend it no matter who’s asking or what point they’re questioning from. If you can’t, your argument isn’t solid. The reason you want to know is so that you have something to criticize as well rather than defend your argument, because you know you can’t. Well guess what, not everyone’s gonna give you that, and it doesn’t mean it’s bad faith. And it’s not cowardly either to simply question without asserting, especially in a place where we all have flairs and everyone kind of knows where we stand. I’m not going to be goaded into making statements that I can’t fully back up, it would deeply bother me to do so because my words matter to me. That is not cowardice, it is epistemic honesty, which you must not know the burdens of upholding because there’s a whole half of your argument that you have not addressed. You provided more examples of shows, where’s the proof that its from overall cultural acceptance of older woman/younger man relationships? Don’t make statements you can’t back up. You might think it’s evidence of bravery to say it with your full chest, but unless you can fully argue the point it just makes a mockery of your position and it makes you look stupid.

Also, bad faith arguing is defined as arguments that use fallacy, misrepresenting facts and positions, or attempts to deceive and manipulate. This argument is about whether or not the above commenters used bad faith. Hate to break it to you, bad faith definitionally has nothing to do with the character you perceive the other people to have. Your consistent critique of others as “cowards” is meaningless in your argument here. If you want to argue about good faith and bad faith, maybe understand the terminology first.

The examples you gave are of good faith, but so was the original comment. There is no standard about critiques needing to be falsifiable to exist and be in good faith. Critiques can be about any part of your argument, and sarcastic commentary about the lack of sources you originally provided was valid given the context. Where was the logical fallacy used? Where was the dishonesty? Where was the misrepresentation? These are the things that constitute bad faith, not “lack of falsifiable content in a critique”. The critique was about the structure of your argument, and did not need to add new information.

And to the last bit, no I don’t have to find examples with the genders reversed, because that was never my argument. I made a comment about good faith argumentation, and that’s what we are fighting about. I’m pointing out the ways you call others bad faith arguers that do not meet the definition of one, and have also pointed out that you yourself are not exactly a good faith one. You’ve used the definist fallacy in changing shared definitions of terms to support your argument, and you’ve critiqued other commenters’ character not in addition to your argument, but as your rebuttal itself, which is ad hominem. The bad faith arguer here is you.

Makuta_Servaela · 2026-01-13T21:19:19+00:00

There's a reason that Romeo and Juliet laws exist. If both parties have underdeveloped brains, then you can at least brush it off as two idiots being idiots. But if one party has an underdeveloped brain and the other doesn't, of course we should acknowledge the risk of predation.

Also, it's not just that the brain is developing, it's that the last part to develop, the part that matures in early 20s, is the part that processes long-term consequences. Of course I find it creepy that a fully-mature adult is intentionally going after partners who aren't capable of processing long-term consequences.

joester56 · 2026-01-14T14:29:19+00:00

The age gap debate often overlooks the power dynamics at play. It's not just about brain development; it's about life experience and maturity. An older individual dating someone significantly younger can create an imbalance that isn't healthy for either party.

FrodoCraggins · 2026-01-13T19:17:02+00:00

Not old enough to date someone older, but old enough to join the military and kill someone older. Also old enough to incur six-figure debt for a university degree, and vote for political leadership at all levels.

Solondthewookiee · 2026-01-13T20:31:56+00:00

This seems a lot like "if it's legal you can't complain," which is not accurate. You can have a fully developed brain and still lack the world experience to recognize toxic and harmful relationships.

mrbonee69 · 2026-01-13T19:48:28+00:00

It's just another sly tactic to shift accountability from women onto men. Notice how they only mention this when the subject is women dating older men.

SmirchaelMiconish · 2026-01-13T21:51:10+00:00

I'll remain skeptical of anyone who argues for society to endorse him fucking the youngest person possible.

NoDanaOnlyZuuI · 2026-01-14T13:59:23+00:00

You’re right, full brain development isn’t the point. Consent doesn’t require a fully developed brain.

What is relevant is the power gap. Huge differences in age come with unequal life experience, money, status, and leverage. An 18 or 19 year old can consent, but that doesn’t mean the relationship is on equal footing.

fully understand the ramifications

No they fucking don’t. Understanding consequences comes from lived experience, not just legal capacity. An 18 or 19 year old hasn’t had the time, context, or reference points to grasp what a much older partner brings into the dynamic.

That lack of experience is exactly the problem.

Legality answers “can you.” It doesn’t answer “should you.”

Crafty_Citron_9827 · 2026-01-14T00:35:00+00:00

having an understanding of how the world works should be though. manipulation, susceptibility and such things being existant

JustMoreSadGirlShit · 2026-01-14T14:34:39+00:00

alright man for sure

age gaps are still, largely, weird and predatory

The “brain being fully developed” argument is not relevant in the age gap discussion

Comments

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Title	The “brain being fully developed” argument is not relevant in the age gap discussion
Author	BichonFriseLover
Upvotes	36
Comments	376
Date	January 13, 2026 7:05 PM UTC (7 months ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/1qc02wu/the_brain_being_fully_developed_argument_is_not/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/the-brain-being-fully-developed-argument-is-not.1571065 https://theredarchive.com/post/1571065