In 2026; The patriarchy is real, broadly promoted by both sides equally, broadly harms both sides equally, and isn't that big of a problem.

ThrowRAGlobeVase · 2026-06-08T23:24:45+00:00

I mean I agree with you… for the most part.

You’re going to get a lot of shit for that last statement because that’s a relative measure. For any one individual in a western country, though, I’d say things like their socioeconomic status they were born into, whether they were raised in a functional household, etc. has a far bigger impact on happiness and “success” than the ways in which the patriarchy harms them.

Also, I don’t think it harms both sides equally because, again, that’s a tough comparison. I think it harms both sides, and it does it differently.

Just_Fisherman4910 · 2026-06-09T14:10:44+00:00

My crazy take: I believe we live in a toxic matriarchy (disguised and labelled as patriarchy), upheld by an army of scared men.

Fine-Double6335 · 2026-06-09T02:07:33+00:00

I’m going to report this post during the next patriarch meeting.

Barnabus_Flaxton · 2026-06-09T13:09:09+00:00

Here’s my perspective on the four points you outlined.

1: Not all positions of power are held by men. Under a patriarchal system they would be.

2: How would I be more harmed by a system where I have more power and authority than by our current system?

3: Women want the benefits of patriarchy but none of the drawbacks. Men today experience the drawbacks of patriarchy but none of the benefits. Women don’t promote patriarchy because in a truly patriarchal system they wouldn’t be able to cherry pick as easily. Men promote patriarchy because it directly benefits their interests.

4: The role of men and women in society is a topic of critical importance that in my mind eclipses all other topics in its significance.

AutoModerator · 2026-06-08T22:34:24+00:00

Hi OP,

You've chosen to identify your thread as a Debate. As such you are expected to actively engage in your own thread with a mind open to being changed. PPD has guidelines for what that involves.

OPs author must genuinely hold the position and you must be open to having your view challenged.

An unwillingness to debate in good faith may be inferred from one or several of the following:

Ignoring the main point of a comment, especially to point out some minor inconsistency;

Refusing to make concessions that an alternate view has merit;

Focusing only on the weaker arguments;

Only having discussions with users who agree with your position.

Failure to keep to this higher standard (we only apply to Debate OPs) may result in deletion of the whole thread.

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

Ohnoes_in_distress · 2026-06-09T09:29:56+00:00

The patriarchy is real. Most professional & social settings orient around male leadership / male positions of power, and this is the default expectation for most people.

From your another comment:

I agree Legislative patriarchy does not exist. My post is about cultural patriarchy.

Let's just leave "the patriarchy" as some weird unclear cultural relic for now. Let's focus on the legislative reality.

most of the western countries have male-only military conscription,
some still have higher retirement age for men (and some, like Poland, are not even looking at making it equal),
the "widow's pension" is sometimes for women only,
in certain countries women receive lighter prison conditions by default,
some countries give fathers less parental leave,
things like state-funded actions to get more women into medical studies despite medical students already being 70%+ female,
trivialities like fatherhood, unlike motherhood, ignored by UN's UDHR.

Sticking to the legislative state - how would you call a system with laws like above? A matriarchy perhaps? Or maybe the "we-must-protect-poor-women-at-the-expense-of-disposable-men" system?

intothewild72 · 2026-06-09T11:47:54+00:00

Before any kind of debate can be done, you should define what patriarchy is. If we go by mainstream definition your position makes no sense.

The Patriarchy is "a system of society or government in which men hold the power and women are largely excluded from it.

This is common definition used by feminists. Your position does not reinforce it in any way.

ModPiracy_Fantoski · 2026-06-09T07:02:56+00:00

In big 2026 people still believe in the Patriarchy conspiracy theory lmfao.

baller696969balls · 2026-06-09T00:42:39+00:00

I disagree in you saying that it “isn’t that big of a problem”. If the patriarchy, even if only as a social construct at the moment rather a political one, continues, then I can only expect an increase in both male suicide rates and amount of female sex workers. An increase in both crime initiated by men and women who deny their own wrongdoings. A decrease in men who seek support, a decrease in women who think for themselves.

The picture painted by the patriarchy is that men are strong and capable, and women are weak and must rely on men. There’s a lot of things wrong with that picture, and if we keep believing that it’s correct then we will keep seeing the same issues that both redpillers and feminists complain about come up again and again and again. There’s nothing we can do about it on a grand scale at the moment besides facing each other without stereotypes and bothering to understand either gender. If our lives are actively being disrupted by the patriarchy, then we should at least support one another.

Outside_Memory5703 · 2026-06-09T01:05:42+00:00

It might be a big deal if enough people are unhappy with it to not date, marry or have kids.

AutoModerator · 2026-06-08T22:34:24+00:00

Attention!

You can post off topic/jokes/puns as a comment to this Automoderator message.
For "Debate" and "Question for X" Threads: Parent comments that aren't from the target group will be removed, along with their child replies.
If you want to agree with OP instead of challenging their view or if the question is not targeted at you, post it as an answer to this comment.
OP you can choose your own flair according to these guidelines., just press Flair under your post!

Thanks for your cooperation and enjoy the discussion!

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

Lumpy_Plant6914 · 2026-06-09T09:19:37+00:00

Patriarchy is a stable system, with predictable flaws. Monoteistic religions and patriarchy go hand in hand, and both genders want to follow the will of god for different reason.

Patriarchy give direction and expectations, reduce stress and make life easier, for many. It also easily leads to wars, lack of willingness to confront "incorrect" beliefs to reach more stable types of understanding - and it puts pressure on people to fit norms that no-one truly fits.

The "mess" without patriarchy requires a lot of introspection, self-understanding and perspectives where regulate our primal instincts, and don't simply act on something because we 'have to'. It would lead to much more agency, directness, accountability, and more emotional capacity, expressiveness and curiosity overall. And meeting challenges with a calm mind, not acting from adrenalin when we see/experience something we don't understand.

Western society do pressure people to conform towards a more tolerant ideal, but there are also backlashes. The pressure is also not openly acknowledged, rather similarly to how patriarchy operates. And so many might feel that they prefer the devil they do know, over the new one.

Any new system takes a lot of time to be adopted more generally, but people are very different. Patriarchy is much less complex with regard to consciousness and how humans function than say most succesful ecovillages. Though I believe most people aren't really capable to understand modern life, and society pushes change without acknowledging openly and honestly that 'we don't care about everyone equally'. Having an open dialogue about values would be a good first step in dealing with 'what is' instead of just showing our head in the sand when things aren't what we would like them to be.

No-Rough-7390 · 2026-06-09T09:32:44+00:00

Isn’t this because patriarchy is the default, though?

TomBerwick1984 · 2026-06-09T23:28:23+00:00

A quick response as I wind down (it might be a bit disjointed, because I'm in a rush);

The Patriarchy is more than just about male leadership, it is also about culture regarding gender, masculinity and femininity. Under patriarchy at the core of masculinity is the belief that masculinity = dominance and superiority to women and femininity. The masculine ideal to be high status within a dominance hierarchy and be dominant or superior to women and femininity.

The prescription within the patriarchy is for women is to be feminine which at it's core (under patriarchy) means to be subordinate/dependent to men or a man, financially, spiritually, politically, physically, etc.

In the west, men make up approx 90% of all violent crimes, and imperialism is alive and thriving, and those are core and serious problems perpetuated by Patriarchy...

General abuse and violence

James Gilligan is a violence prevention expert, and led a successful therapeutic intervention team into a psychiatric prison, which reduced all recorded violent crimes and suicide to near zero, by time they left.

https://academic.oup.com/jpubhealth/article-abstract/27/2/149/1595844?redirectedFrom=fulltext&login=false

He said it came down to 2 things and both were crucial 1) healing wounds to self worth. He found out that all the men had easily triggered feelings of intense shame/humiliation, and aggression was their way of reclaiming their sense of lost status/significance. 2) The therapists challenged and helped them to change their belief that masculinity = dominance/superiority.

After the men no longer felt the need to dominate others to have a sense of identity about being man (because masculinity is about men's sense of identity) and when they were no longer prone to easily triggered intense feelings of shame/humiliation, then they lost a desire to be violent.

Dominant men are rewarded with a sense of masculine identity under patriarchy, and so men are socially and psychologically incentivized to be dominant over others, which includes psychological and physical abuse.

Sexism, misogyny, homophobia, biphobia and transphobia

Patriarchy is about male and masculine supremacy, and like all systems of supremacy they abuse the out-groups in order maintain their sense of status.

Bisexual and homosexual men violate the rules of western patriarchy, because to love or sexually desire other men is seen as being feminine, and men must be masculine under patriarchy, and masculine means to be dominant over women and femininity. So openly bisexual and homosexual men are socially and violently punished under patriarchy for violating the prescription.

Transgender people to, because male = masculine and female = feminine under patriarchy. You do not get to self-determine or shun the binary, it's assigned to you at birth.

James Gilligan also said that homophobia is also a core part of violent masculine culture.

Sexual abuse

The high majority of the perpetrators are men.

Patriarchy promotes the narrative that the ideal man is dominant, and men and masculinity are centered in society. Which creates a society where men's desire and masculine ideals are centered in society. Which foster a sense of entitlement to having their sexual desire satisfied.

Patriarchy promotes a sense of entitlement towards women's bodies, because it promotes that the ideal of women/femininity is subordinate towards men's needs and desires.

Under patriarchy men are not taught to be empathetic towards the needs and desires of non-men (e.g. children, women). Even basic child care in the home is seen as a 'woman's job', so a man is not expect or encourage to become attentive to the psychological and physical needs of others. A man is the provider and protector, but not an empathizer or a compassionate caregiver.

We can see this sense of entitlement is rampant, even in the west, regarding comments about

Racism

I can't talk about Patriarchy and link to Racism, due to rule 5.

But hopefully you can see where a culture that promotes being a masculinity as dominance, and also group's people's value and identity by race, and lead to men led race groups dominating other groups through institutional, cultural, psychological and physical abuse?

War

Imperialism is a form of dominance, and combatants and it's facilitators are almost exclusively men.

Patriarchy socially and psychologically rewards military aggression and combatant are treated as examples of masculinity of the highest status, special forces soldiers are regarded as the highest examples of masculine excellence, regardless of what they did (e.g. the various atrocities in Vietnam).

IME a lot of men do not care about the morality of western military operations, they often seem to want to be a part of it because of the sense of masculine status it gives them.

In war, all the abuse I've mentioned in this post are routinely carried out. The western militaries are extremely patriarchal institutions (I'm referring to culture), and embody everything I mentioned. As an institution it's revered under patriarchy, regardless of record or policy.

###

If we dismantle the Patriarchy there would be significantly less abuse and imperialism.

Also, I agree with you that women promote Patriarchy too. Women's role IMO is largely of enablers, and men are largely of its perpetrators.

However, I think in the west women are generally moving away from their support of patriarchy because of the growing gap between right wing and left wing political support by gender in the west. Women are far more likely to support feminism than men.

corey____trevor · 2026-06-08T22:51:46+00:00

Yes it's not ideal

Why is it not ideal? By your own position it's promoted by each side voluntarily. If each side broadly wants and/or supports it, that sounds like an ideal to me.

I don't actually believe we live in a patriarchy anyways, just think it's interesting you believe something isn't ideal while also claiming it's something people largely want and support. Are you just smarter than everybody?

Mountain_Collar_7620 · 2026-06-08T23:01:08+00:00

They wanted one now they conjured one - handmaid robes are in the mail

criticalcry-tactic00 · 2026-06-09T06:22:44+00:00

What pathriarchy in history ever allowed women to have more freedom and rights then men while at the same time having less duties and no accountability? Answer: never happened. We don't live in pathriarchy.

SleepyPoemsin2020 · 2026-06-09T01:11:13+00:00

Just accepting your first three points, you've admitted we are talking about a system that actively shapes every human interaction, career choice, and mental health outcome. The reality is that every status quo feels harmless to those who are comfortable with the baseline, but personal comfort doesn't change the fact that something shaping pretty much every facet of life is anything but minor.

SmertriosPPD · 2026-06-08T23:03:40+00:00

The patriarchy isn't real nowadays. Because patriarchy is a state of the law, not a state of most people's mind.

What's real is innate human bias that people call "patriarchy" "internalized misogyny" or "toxic masculinity".

It's promoted in matriarchies as well, or in societies without patriarchies.

Roughly promoted by each side equally yes. But much more deep than you'd think. Men do not get to have a societal movement for improving their condition, as human's innate bias is to always believe men are privileged and that men are violent, while women are victims yet perfect. Meaning any societal movement for the improvement of male condition is automatically considered harmful and misogynistic.

It also comes with constant demeaning of men's problems. Like how every male issue is brushed away as "well men just are more violent and don't take care of themselves" when we talk of suicide or shorter life expectency. Despite men die of everything just more and for sometimes no other reason than their biology.

BlerdyBTwitch · 2026-06-09T02:36:39+00:00

Women definitely uphold patriarchy, but for you to say that it is enforced and, more importantly, harms equally is a serious misrepresentation of reality, Bro. You can look at the Epstein case and the stuff with the men learning how to 🍇 their partners and film it for online consumption for recent insane examples of what men are doing to women.

Ill-Investigator9546 · 2026-06-08T23:22:48+00:00

The patriarchy creates men that women are attracted to, so its obvious working out well for women.

hehOpiidhv · 2026-06-08T23:04:42+00:00

Well, what is the exact problem you find with it?? You said it causes harm equally, but what harm? Pls specify.

BrianMeen · 2026-06-09T00:11:16+00:00

is there a place in the world right now that isn’t ran by patriarchy? I’m just curious what a non-patriarchal society looks like …?

Title	In 2026; The patriarchy is real, broadly promoted by both sides equally, broadly harms both sides equally, and isn't that big of a problem.
Author	AggravatingFlow1178
Upvotes	14
Comments	112
Date	June 8, 2026 10:34 PM UTC (1 month ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/1u0n3ai/in_2026_the_patriarchy_is_real_broadly_promoted/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/in-2026-the-patriarchy-is-real-broadly-promoted-by.1582394 https://theredarchive.com/post/1582394

Comments