A while ago I had a discussion where a woman argued that it couldn't have been a "pump and dump" because they continued seeing each other and had sex multiple times afterward. She believed that if a man doesn't disappear immediately after the first time, then it isn't a pump and dump. I disagree, and here's why.

A lot of people misunderstand what a pump and dump actually is.

For most men, getting sex isn't effortless. Even very successful men have to put in time and effort to meet women. For the average man it's much harder, and for men at the bottom of the dating market it's even more difficult.

So why would a man immediately cut off a woman after sex if:

the sex is good,

she's pleasant enough to spend time with, and

he doesn't already have several other women lined up?

There usually isn't much incentive to do that.

A pump and dump isn't defined by whether the man ghosts after one night. It's defined by his intentions from the beginning.

Some men will date a woman while already knowing they have zero interest in a serious relationship with her. They enjoy the companionship, the sex, and the attention, but they never intend to commit. The relationship continues only as long as it's convenient or enjoyable for them. Eventually they lose interest, meet someone else, or decide it's no longer worth the effort, and they move on.

That's what many people are describing when they say things like "men are emotionally unavailable," "young men don't want to commit," or "men only want one thing." The issue isn't necessarily that he vanished after the first hookup, it's that commitment was never his goal in the first place.

Without knowledge whats really in the head of the Men its always unknown if it was a failed young relationship and pump and dump, every men knows that basic romantic things lead to more and better sex, high oxytocin is flowing in him (coused by the sex) so there is some real bit of feeling and at the worst/best point, maybe he had real true feelings at the start.

A Pump and Dump can last months and thats a hughe shifting point in a Dating debate, some storys woman had wasnt real dating it was a pump and dump

Edit:

I wont replay to any more "pump and dumps is just X" wehn X implies thath both parties agree to it

On the other Hand its say a lot if woman try to rationalize that they guy wants only sex is in reality some fancy Millenial/Genz Z word

A little more clear

Sitationship, friends with benefits, and so one all implies both parties aggree to this

If the woman thinks its Dating and the men know he will leave its a pump and dump