What do you picture when you think of a man? Maybe it's Clint Eastwood, a marine, a spartan warrior, James Bond, or Arnold. Whatever it is, I guarantee it's not Woody Allen. Masculinity requires a certain implied ability to dominate your world physically. Look at all these male college feminists with visible ribcages poking through their shirt thinking that full beards make them "manly." I don't aspire to have a bodybuilder physique (it's okay if you do), and I am 100% natural (it's okay if you don't want to be). What I desired when my journey began was to train my body as a weapon for war. I wanted to feel safe in the knowledge that if an inescapable fight were to break out or if I were ever dropped in the wild, I could handle myself. Your body is an amazing biological machine; why not get it into pristine working order?

Let's talk about how to become the best version of yourself. I am 6'2" and weighing in at a lean 183 pounds (rocky theme intensifies). I've been strong and fit for a good portion of my adult life, so I know what I'm doing. I went from 133 pounds at 18 to 183 as a mid 20's adult. This would put me at about 12 pounds of lean mass a year. Here's how I did it.

1. Becoming a Green Machine - That's right, veggies are going to become your best friends. You want the fibrous, bright vegetables at every meal that isn't a snack. Think broccoli, spinach, asparagus, squash, carrots, etc. Always buy them fresh and skip that garbage they stick in cans. They're soggy, the flavor is awful, and it's the reason most kids grow up hating veggies. If you're consuming a lot of food, you need to crank up the fiber to aid in digestion. Cooking them in bulk is simple and they're dirt cheap too. You have no excuses.

2. Complex Carbs - This is your fuel. The "simple" carbs aren't necessarily bad on their own, but companies load them with sugar. High sugar = bad. Complex = slower releasing, longer, sustained energy. Vegetables high in fiber and 100% whole grains are what you want for carbs. This is where about 40% of my diet comes from. Think sweet potatoes, brown rice, and whole wheat bread.

3. Bulk/Batch - Buy in bulk and cook in batch form. This is the easiest way to success. I like my food to be at least semi-fresh, so I cook for 3 days worth. I'll spend Sunday night after football cooking batches of chicken, broccoli, brown rice, and hard boiled eggs. I do this again before football on Thursday. I eye the portions and put them in tupperware containers. I write the days on them with an erasable whiteboard marker so when the time comes, I'm ready to eat in a few minutes.

4. Don't cheat - I understand some people do this as a reward, but I've been eating clean and healthy for so many years, I've lost the taste for garbage. I have zero desire to eat a snickers, get a tub of ice cream, or mash on oreos. Giving in to a craving becomes a slippery slope. If you have such a weak will that you can't resist junk food of all things, it's time to evaluate your priorities as a man.

5. Don't count calories - This is only going to drive you insane. The great thing about weight gain (or loss) is that it's a gradual process. If you're trying to bulk, keep eating until you see the pounds come on. Once that starts happening, you can eye the portions instead of thinking "only 468 calories, I need 500 this meal!" Tweak it until it works, then it becomes second nature, and you won't have to rely on some calorie counting tool.

6. Fat is not your enemy - What you believe about fat is what advertising companies have made you believe. Low-fat does not mean healthy. You associate the word fat with being overweight, so that's what makes you fat, right? Wrong. You're going to want a lot of healthy fats in your diet. Healthy fats come from peanut/almond butter, nuts, olive oil, coconut oil, avocados, and seeds.

7. Lean is mean - The easiest meat for digestion would be of the leaner variety. That would include chicken, turkey, and all kinds of fish. The whole organic grass-fed beef is not hipster snobbery, it's a great idea. The livestock on factory farms are pumped with an obscene amount of antibiotics. What goes into the body of that animal also goes into yours. If you go red meat, go expensive and pay a few more bucks for the organic. Beware of the regular stuff.

8. Stay Hydrated - I have no clue how many glasses of water I drink a day. If my pee is clear to light yellow, I consider myself hydrated. I only drink water, decaf tea, my homemade sports drink, and diluted fruit juices. I don't drink soda. I'll have a beer during a football game and some hard liquor or wine after a playoff victory or a wedding/party/event. I skip coffee because caffeine suppresses my appetite.

A few things to avoid

A. Naked Juice. These claim to be packed with vitamins and nutrients to keep your body in pristine condition. The problem? One, they're loaded with sugar. A single bottle contains about 60 grams. Two, they pack it with juiced versions of fruits and vegetables. A large part of what makes fruit and vegetables great is the fiber content. You get none of this in liquid form.

B. "Superfoods." This is a dumb buzzword that makes the nutritionally naive feel that they're taking care of their body. The companies are always promising to deliver some secret ultra mega incredible antioxidant that will purify your body, nourish your immune system, and make you feel younger! You don't need a hidden berry from the Amazon rainforest to maintain health. Guess what else is a superfood by that definition? An apple!

C. "Multi-grain." - The word multi-grain means nothing. It's the same trick companies use when they put "all natural" on a product. It means whatever they want it to mean. Multi-grain is enriched flour stripped of nutrients. Specifically look for 100% whole grain. My favorite is Ezekiel bread.

D. Protein/energy bars - These are loaded with high fructose corn syrup, sugar, and artificial ingredients. The basis of health comes from consuming whole foods. These are garbage for your body. If you need a quick boost, get some almonds, a handful of dried fruit, and pumpkin seeds.

E. "Sports" drinks - Again, loaded with insane amounts of sugar and corn syrup. "But, but, muh gatorade." Here's the alternative. Get the biggest pitcher that will fit in your fridge. For me, that's a gallon. Fill it up with water, then add 1 cup lemon juice, 1 teaspoon sea salt, and 1 teaspoon of baking soda. This is the drink to keep you hydrated and prevent lactic acid build up at the gym. After a hard workout, sugar levels will be depleted, so I mix a cup of OJ into a cup of this mixture.

F. Yogurt - I love yogurt and eat it almost every day. It's an incredible tool for digestion and gut health. The problem is that a lot of popular store bought brands are loaded with 30 or so grams of sugar. This is not good. My favorite is FAGE plain Greek yogurt. What you'll want to do is add a bit of lemon juice for flavor if you want to eat it raw or stick it in a smoothie. Because it's plain, it won't alter the taste at all.

Eating healthy can be pricey if you aren't careful, but it's all about priorities. Maybe some of you spend $60 on a video game, $100 on a new pair of shoes, $50 at the bar, or $75 going out to dinner. These are all fine, but I splurge on health food. You know what's expensive? Being sick. Whether through lost wages or doctor bills, it's not cheap being ill.

This is great, you say, but Gatsby, how do I actually put this stuff together into something edible? Here is a sample of what I eat.

Breakfast day 1 = Plain steel cut oatmeal topped with flax seed, ground cinnamon, ginger, 1 apple, and walnuts.

Breakfast day 2 = Three hard boiled eggs, whole grain toast, and a smoothie consisting of frozen blueberries, 2 stalks of celery, 1 mint sprig, flax seed, and almond milk.

Breakfast day 3 = Hard boiled eggs, a bowl of granola + yogurt, and some mixed fruit.

Lunch day 1 = White bean and salmon salad with spinach, garlic, onions, and lemon.

Lunch day 2 = Blackened chicken with brown rice, avocado, and broccoli.

Lunch day 3 = Sundried tomato soup, kale, and a few grilled tuna sandwiches.

Dinner day 1 = Ground turkey stuffed peppers with quinoa, kale, and hummus.

Dinner day 2 = Turkey burgers with brown rice, asparagus, spinach, tomato, and avocado.

Dinner day 3 = Whole wheat pasta with spinach, tomatoes, and chicken breasts.

As you can see, it's not difficult. The key to breaking up the monotony is a variety of spice use. Have blackened chicken, then try bourbon chicken, then Jamaican jerk, etc. You have the greatest cookbook of all-time available at your fingertips with the internet. Again, you have no excuses.

Health is your most important priority. This should be your selfish, come-before-anything-else mantra. A diet consisting of whole foods, lean meats, and a lot of plants to avoid unnecessary toxins is the recipe for success. I am 100% natural and strict. You don't have to be. Even 75% healthy is better than McDonald's and Pepsi 5 days a week. The only drug I ever use is the occasional marijuana, but only in edibles and never smoked.

Let food be your medicine.

Be healthy y'all.

-Gatsby