Is your fear of men analytical and based on statistics?

LovingLivingLarge · 2019-07-03T15:12:38+00:00

at what age or strength caliber would it make sense for men to stop fearing other men

never? in what fantasy world will men stop being the killers of men?

Why do you think men don’t fear other men as much as you do?

Because they are men and I am not?

Listen, when I'm alone out in the world at any time of the day or night, I am constantly vigilant AGAINST SURPRISE DANGER. No matter which of the 72 fucking genders there are now, I am vigilant against it.

Atlas_B_Shruggin · 2019-07-03T14:37:11+00:00

men DO "fear" other men. its expressed as "security" against "crime". men dont walk around with guns because they DONT "fear other men".

planejane · 2019-07-03T16:47:23+00:00

It's based on respect for physical power.

I'm not afraid of guns, but I've got a respect for them. They're a tool for violence that can be used for good or bad ends.

Guys are more physically capable. I'm a fit, tall, broad girl, but I cannot deliver the force a guy my height/weight could. Best I get is a passive perk that I don't look like an easy target.

I have never thrown hands outside of self-defense because I know this. I exercise caution around unknown men because I know this. I avoid unstable men because I know this. All guns could be loaded, right?

If that's hysteria then color me frantic over here.

goatismycopilot · 2019-07-03T15:01:18+00:00

Can we just cut to the chase? Men want to be seen as potentially violent and respected and revered for it not critiqued, so that is why the men here are a) bitches be crazy we no violent you so neurotic and fearful or b) yah I am the good kind of violent where I rescue children and carry grandma across the river while fighting Visgoths, bitches be crazy.

Orange_Paisley · 2019-07-03T16:06:15+00:00

I’m not “afraid” of men. I am cautious around men I do not know. There is a difference.

Electra_Cute · 2019-07-03T15:35:36+00:00

poppy_blu · 2019-07-03T17:43:07+00:00

I don’t fear men. I fear dangerous people who have a size or power advantage over me. And honestly I don’t even really fear that. I go where I want and do what I want and if I happen to be in the wrong place at the wrong time and meet my maker as a result, so be it.

This has been one of the most disingenuous discussions I’ve ever seen on PPD and proof that the pillosphere like the manosphere is ruled by victim martyrhood, regardless of gender.

fevertree · 2019-07-03T16:35:42+00:00

No.:.why would it be. Seriously...this is a weird question. It’s obviously hard wired in the brain stem. And a lot of human behavior is constrained by society and socialization. Maybe a random man on the street isn’t a danger in Manhattan...but he was more likely to be 1000 years ago. And if society collapsed he would be again.

CuriousOptimistic · 2019-07-03T18:02:39+00:00

"is your fear of men analytical and based on statistics?"

Of course fucking not. This is not how the human brain works. It is not how human emotions work.

"Is your fear of heights analytical and based on statistics?"

No. It's instinctive. That's how fears work. That's why human beings do all sorts of things that are dangerous (like driving) without fear, and get scared at all sorts of safe things (like standing on top of the Empire State Building).

yasee · 2019-07-03T14:55:23+00:00

I ain't afraid of no men

I think the immediate reaction is visceral though. even for those women who haven't experienced male violence personally, they've probably still been fed a steady diet of cautionary tales about walking alone at night since they were little

sparksjoy · 2019-07-03T18:17:51+00:00

No, experience.

I grew up with the scary college rape statistics. I still didn't believe something like that could happen to me; it was more of an issue for the party girls who like to drink a lot, or so I told myself. The fear mainly clicked when I went out with a guy I was into for a drive my freshman year. He ended up being my first (several) kiss(es). I thought it was too early and we didn't know each other well enough to be doing that yet, but then again I was in his car and he could kick me out and leave me stranded on the side of the road if he wanted to.

The scariest thing about it was the power dynamic involved. I was very conscious of the fact that he was stronger than me, we were alone, and if his mind were deadset on going further I wouldn't have a choice. Since then I've been way more careful about being alone with guys in a situation where I can't get away and make it home easily.

sodabrothel · 2019-07-03T18:49:23+00:00

It’s intuitive and also analytical. I don’t think you can separate the two.

I am more scared in situations where danger is objectively higher (e.g., large man who is following me closely in the dark vs. small man with another woman sitting across from me in a waiting room in the middle of the day). If I am alone and see a man nearby, I find myself doing a quick danger assessment — what’s his body language like? Is he minding his own business, or does he seem like he’s staring at me? Is he following me, and if so, how closely? How easy would it be for him to physically overpower me? Would anyone be likely to hear me if I screamed? The more statistically dangerous the situation, yes, the more nervous and cautious I will be. It borders on impossible to detangle the logical and emotional signals from my brain which prompts this. I’d say it’s both.

Still, I’d also say I’m more scared in situations where danger isn’t necessarily higher, but which remind me of in some way of situations where I was endangered or men who weren’t safe. That’s just classical conditioning, though — not unique to women.

Bonus questions:

I think men don’t fear other men as much as women do largely because the physical strength match is much more equal. If a man who is not elderly, physically disabled, or a legal dwarf were to accost me, I’d be weaker. I’d be fucked. Being alone with basically any man is essentially trusting him not to harm me, because he could if he wanted to and unless I’m carrying some sort of weapon, there wouldn’t be much I could do about it. When it’s a stranger who’s acting suspiciously and no one would be around to help you, that’s terrifying. But even if you’re a small and weak man, it’s usually a much more even match with any given other man. Post-traumatic stress reactions tend to be more likely to occur when sufferers felt they were cornered or had no escape during traumatic events (van der Kolk’s book, The Body Keeps the Score), so I also think of the men who have had traumatic encounters with other men, they were probably more likely to have been able to exert agency and get away because of their strength and size, so any classical conditioning that may have happened might be relatively weak compared to what’s commonly experienced by women. And I think that men attacking women is more common across socioeconomic classes, while outright male-on-male violence tends to be concentrated largely in areas with high rates of gang violence, drug abuse, etc.

What is “enough” to stop men from fearing other men? I’d say that size is a factor but it also depends a lot on the man’s experience. A 6’5”, 250lb former prisoner of war with PTSD will probably still be pretty afraid of men even if he could kick most men’s asses in theory.

ThisIsJustATr1bute · 2019-07-03T15:22:14+00:00

No because people who ignore their gut for the sake of intellectual fairness won’t be around to post on this thread.

LivelyChartreuse · 2019-07-03T14:51:47+00:00

Newp. It's me knowing that I will lose every time I have a physical altercation with a man, which means if he decides to hurt me (which overwhelmingly has been my experience that men are more likely to try to hurt other people) I am fucked.

Secondly, even boys have higher rates of T than little girls do. This means they are more impulsive and violent than girls. So I don't expect them to ever really fear other men, just respect what another male can do.

Mr_Smoogs · 2019-07-03T14:54:22+00:00

I'm not "afraid" of men but there are certain ppl I avoid. From years of athletics I am very aware that men who choose to be a physical threat can do me serious damage, they're just bigger and generally more comfortable giving and receiving "power" cues than women are. That might be partly due to socialization though, I dunno.

I also think mental state and willingness to cause harm play a big factor, like the truly scary guys I've met have a certain look in their eyes/face/posture regardless of their physique size. A dude smaller than me with that look is way more of an "avoid" signal than a guy who looks like Brock Lesnar but gives off comforting social cues.

I don't think constant fear of men is "rational" for anyone, but I do think people who've had enough negative experiences understandably cut their losses and assume the worst of everyone.

A lot of the guys I know who are generally timid or intimidated by physically confident/imposing people were physically or emotionally trampled as kids or teens by the guys who were more physical, athletic, and gaining confidence through things like sports or risk taking activities. To me it seems like there's a silent language between men who are comfortable with physicality and discomfort that a lot of...sedentary...guys don't understand.

meomeowmeoww · 2019-07-03T14:36:22+00:00

Women are less autistic than men so I'd say no.

RadChadswell · 2019-07-03T21:14:37+00:00

Is your sexual desire analytical and based on statistics? That's not how feelings work.

Muse_asvhedu · 2019-07-03T22:04:36+00:00

Experience. My fear is based on experience. Z

rasmelo · 2019-07-04T04:53:05+00:00

My fear is based primarily on statistics. Yes, I think men should fear each other.

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ZoroasterFlame · 2019-07-03T14:46:26+00:00

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Replication_crisis#%22Methodological_terrorism%22_controversy

flamingoinghome · 2019-07-03T16:26:00+00:00

Camp 3: It's empirical.

Female_urinary_maze · 2019-07-03T23:06:05+00:00

My anxiety around men mostly comes from being raised in a paronoid household. My parents were always overprotective fearful people and had a weird obsession with rape. Now I'm living with their baggage.

MisterJose · 2019-07-04T02:05:30+00:00

Fear of statistics? I can't help but think of this

NaturalQueer · 2019-07-04T22:37:20+00:00

My fear is based on what has happened to me and many of the females I know, and they know. I am a fourth generation sexual assault survivor. I know what they can do and have done, and my fear keeps me safe.

87AudreyHorne · 2019-07-05T13:31:20+00:00

I dont fear men, but if a man makes me fear him than it is a situational thing. I am sure some facts and statistics would contribute to my ability to judge the situation.

Title	Is your fear of men analytical and based on statistics?
Author	Mr_Smoogs
Upvotes	1
Comments	139
Date	July 3, 2019 2:30 PM UTC (7 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/c8orwh/is_your_fear_of_men_analytical_and_based_on/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/is-your-fear-of-men-analytical-and-based-on.255095 https://theredarchive.com/post/255095

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