Why do men continue to date women who don't put out on the first date?

boundarychimps · 2019-01-05T06:01:30+00:00

Eh, there's a decent chance she happens to care about more than just looks (aka, "has standards").

Unless you're only considering drunk girls you met at bars?

hammerhaunts · 2019-01-05T05:43:51+00:00

Women who don't put out on the first date are nicer usually.

wtffellification · 2019-01-05T10:08:20+00:00

Sexual compatibility is key

That said, people who value sex over everything else, will attract people who value sex over anything else. OR they will attract people who use sex as a transaction, seeing how valuable it can be

It may be 2019 but that still doesn't mean everyone's a whore. Sorry

JustForPPD · 2019-01-05T11:57:10+00:00

If a woman put up in the first date, she definitely goes into my "I will never have anything formal or serious with you" list.

Here4thebeer3232 · 2019-01-05T10:02:20+00:00

Because sex isn't the only thing I look for in a person. And I can actually value things aside from sex.

SabirahNova · 2019-01-05T06:39:40+00:00

Not all men want to have sex on the first date either, casual sex just isn’t enjoyable to some people regardless of gender. Those people will just end up dating each other. That being said you’re definitely entitled to blocking every girl that won’t put out on the first date.

agloelita · 2019-01-05T09:59:34+00:00

Because sex isn't the end goal of all men???

CatchPhraze · 2019-01-05T07:32:43+00:00

I don't know many woman who put out on the first date tbh. I never would. If you don't want to see me again because of it, then I didn't want to see you either and all I wasted was the gas getting there. Way better then sleeping with a dude who you find out is a douche. Lmao.

Uncommon_Sensed_1234 · 2019-01-05T05:33:55+00:00

That antibiotic resistance gonorrhea can't get spread quick enough because we all know people who jump in bad after knowing someone five minutes make great life choices.

Electra_Cute · 2019-01-05T05:19:29+00:00

There is more to dating and having a relationship than just sex. The man can also get sex elsewhere.

DespisedByWomen · 2019-01-05T05:53:00+00:00

I wait because I take what I can get

cxj · 2019-01-05T07:45:04+00:00

I’m fine with it if I’m interested in a relationship and I’m convinced she wants to fuck me but is holding back so the relationship works out.

I waited till date 3 with my current gf, we had intense making out and heavy petting before that, it turned out well no complaints. It’s actually the only time I ever went on actual dates tbh

neualgae · 2019-01-05T13:41:43+00:00

It's been pointed out here before, but do you guys genuinely not get the impossible situation you're making here? You don't want to date girls who have slept with a lot of guys, and you also don't want to date girls who don't put out on the first date? The only way a woman can do both is to not go on very many first dates. But then she's a stuck up bitch with standards that are too high. What exactly do you want women to do in your ideal world?

[deleted] · 2019-01-05T05:31:17+00:00

It's 2019. She ain't no virgin. If there is a nonzero likelihood that she is someone who would sleep with a guy on the first date, and I'm not that guy, she can go find herself that guy, and I can go find myself whatever girl I am that guy for. Simple.

The end.

-Mavs · 2019-01-05T05:48:57+00:00

Yeah, the slut's motto is:

Fucks Chad on first date, snorts and gargles his cum: "it meant nothing that's why I gave it to him so easily".

Makes the software developer with six figures wait 4 years (while she is banging multiple chads) and $500,000 later on dates for used up "wiener thrown down a hallway" sex and calls that "special" (hint: she's lying but she'll take the money).

passepar2t · 2019-01-05T07:42:05+00:00

If it's three dates or fewer, I don't mind so much. Hell, if there's clear progression towards sex, I don't mind so much. Maybe I'm a beta but it's usually easy to tell how enthusiastic she is around you.

[deleted] · 2019-01-05T23:31:24+00:00

If you don't want a high quality woman, sure, make her bust it wide open the first night. But NO man will respect the woman he feels he can have easily. Most men like chase and challenge.

BigMarvelChickenman · 2019-01-05T07:24:13+00:00

I have to slightly agree. Most girls have sex with guys they don't date. As a guy you would be a fool to wait for a girl who has slept with a guy off of Tinder in an hour. If she likes you she will give you those googly eyes and want to be on you, not make you wait.

A quick caveat.

If she is a girl that only had long term relationships, sure I'll wait! No biggie, especially if we have same hobbies and goals.

If she had one night stands, fuck buddies, and FWB, that's a no for me. Mommy and Poppa didn't raise no chump.

Grown women post college try to pull "Let's get to know each other" bs. It's laughable! I'm sure Chad got to know you real well at the frat party when all you wanted was abs and a good time. Now all of a sudden you want abs, a car, a house, job and my emotional romantic ability. Nope. So disrespectful! Some UMC girls offer nothing, I'm not even talking about girls who use their parents money to get meme degrees (like dance therapy). I'm talking about med students, financial consultant girls, biology majors, etc. They all have bare minimum requirements of being nice, having hobbies, good friends, and getting a degree. That 's such low standards that a lot of guys will take. I'm not just taking anything that comes my way like a lot of guys seem to do especially when they hit their late twenties.

Which would lead me to another ramble\discussion. Those guys who started finding out those kids aren't theirs through the 23 & Me and Ancestry.com fiasco. I wonder if their wives made them wait.

PuleaSpataru69 · 2019-01-05T15:43:13+00:00

It means she's not a slut.

rainisthelife · 2019-01-05T16:21:02+00:00

Because most men don’t have a choice as they lack the options to be able to dismiss a girl just because she doesn’t put out immediately.

When you likely won’t have another date for another month, and there’s some hope that the one you went on a date with might put out sometime in the future if you act right, a lot of men will stick around for that hope.

Making him wait is a very effective female strategy, esp when you’re trying to snag an LTR. Nothing makes men work harder than hope. Men like to complain about it, but tbh, it works a lot of the time.

enzotiger · 2019-01-05T05:18:52+00:00

Amen. If she doesn't put on the first or second date, then I am insulted and feel like she is using me or categorizing me as the provider. I kindly delete/block her. I know she sniffed cocaine off of some dude's ass before me, so there's no reason for me to not get the same treatment.

This is the direction we're heading in. Women asked for it. Guys are starting to have some self respect. I've talked about this in my threads.

beachredwhine · 2019-01-05T06:03:17+00:00

I agree with you women should not at all feel ashamed for going for a guy they are attracted to and want. Women are free now, they get to make their own decisions. We have decided.

And if a girl is not willing to give you her best? Then there's no reason to give her your best.

It's almost mind boggling to me that there are women who somehow think if they try to force you to play stupid games, they will win a great prize. They do indeed just get dumped, or stood up, or strung along.

You get it. So women who really like a guy? They will jump his bones, fast.

Oh it gets better because we've created this great awesome amazing smashing society where teenage girls are thrust into these decisions, with no guidance, no advice, and no fathers.

Women do indeed need to jump bones fast, or the guy just gives up and coasts, then the girl tells every other girl about her give up loser husband with zero idea that he was only that with her.

In any event the game is afoot. Play well, this new game, and do make sure to laugh at the losers. The great relearning and all that, but most people can't learn, it hurts their ego

pm_me_je_specerijen · 2019-01-05T07:41:19+00:00

It's simple. If a woman doesn't fuck you on the first date it just means she's not attracted to you

One might argue that—does one need to be attracted to people on the first date already?

And don't look for that so called NAWALT, for the last time she doesn't exist. That nerdy socially awkward chick is out having tonnes of sex too

As a matter of fact I do indeed—with people I know longer than one day.

Basically your point seems to be "you need to be attracted to people on the first date" which' purpose ostensibly still is to find out whether you find someone attractive.

[deleted] · 2019-01-05T12:27:30+00:00

I’m not interested in casual sex (anymore), and I’m not really attracted to any girl who gives it up that easily. I can allow a few minor discretions in the past, but not an extensive history of it. In my opinion, if two or three cheap fucks that made you feel like jumping off a high building afterwards didn’t turn you off casual sex, we’re not compatible.

Used-up hoes looking for a chump are plainly obvious. They have certain behaviors, mannerisms, phenotypes etc. Easily avoided if you know what to avoid.

NiceGuyNumber4 · 2019-01-05T14:51:00+00:00

I actually prefer getting to know them before fucking. Sex is important though and could be a deal breaker if bad or infrequent.

KikiYuyu · 2019-01-05T14:54:51+00:00

[ok that went a little porno, but my point still stands]

No, it doesn't stand. It really doesn't. Not everyone's brain works like that, man or woman.

CoMaBlaCK · 2019-01-05T21:49:51+00:00

In the scheme of things women who put out on the first date aren’t going to be the ones you want to have a relationship with anyway. You don’t want the girl who rode the cc with everybody she banged on a first date.

decoy88 · 2019-01-05T22:00:31+00:00

I like sex enough to wanna fuck on the first date. It’s about compatibility. If she don’t feel the same way, that’s a no from me dawg.

Also I’d hate to find that I wasted several dates only to discus she’s shit in bed. That’s how sunk cost fallacies and miserable relationship sex happens.

Early sex tests that compatibility and also “duh” it feels really good for both of us.

peterlongc · 2019-01-05T05:44:52+00:00

sluts only dream of sluts. that's all they understand anyway

justaformerpeasant · 2019-01-05T14:56:51+00:00

Because men who want a serious, long term relationship with a woman generally don't want to date someone who's likely to be a slut and will cheat on them.

Having the attitude that a woman who won't fuck you is "fake" or "unattracted" to you is petty and shallow. A chick can be very physically attracted to you initially, think you're cute, smart, funny, etc, just like a man can be very physically attracted to a woman physically and those other things... until either the man or the woman reveals who they actually are, their morals, their ethics, politics, etc... which can end up making them pretty repulsive. That chick you think is a 10/10 may end up having some views that are totally reprehensible.

Finding out what someone's all about takes more than dinner and a movie. As a woman, I'd rather not have sex with someone and have to say later "damn, I wish I had known that guy was a fucking racist dickhead".

Henk7839 · 2019-01-05T05:14:52+00:00

Truth right here.

Mr_Smoogs · 2019-01-05T05:30:20+00:00

Agreeed!

jenovajunkie · 2019-01-05T06:22:59+00:00

Am I delusional that some girls have class, or wait. Doesn't that mean she does that for every date she goes on? So really, a girl could of had like 20 dates in just her time at college.

Then while she is working that could easily be like a bunch more, so you're saying that I missed out on dating all these girls and now I have to get married to someone who has experienced so much more life than me?

So either, I go my own way and not get married or have kids and live my life, but forfeit a family life. Or I get married and forever be known as the nice guy; who led a boring life?

If I have kids, what the hell am I going to tell them about dating, or women, or what I did growing up. What the fuck is this. Is it wrong to want one girl to be by my side that respects me forever, like is that too much to ask?

Why do you have to go an make things so complicated?

I just quoted an Avril Lavigne song, unintentionally. Like a BAWS.

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RedDingleBarry · 2019-01-05T05:17:12+00:00

You are an idiot! Sure it can happen, but sometimes timing isn’t right. Life happens. Maybe you smell. Maybe she’s on her period. Maybe she needs time to warm up to you. You don’t have to be autistic about it.

TheScutFarkisAffair · 2019-01-05T05:27:25+00:00

I’m a dude and I don’t put on the first date and I won’t date a girl that does. End of story.

[deleted] · 2019-01-05T10:29:29+00:00

Sounds like sarcasm. But, as always there's truth mixed in with the funny post. In this case, the nuggets of truth are:

you're probably just one of many guys in line dating her trying to get chosen.

and

That nerdy socially awkward chick is out having tons of sex too, she sure as hell ain't alone.

Most women will always have a bunch of guys on retainer or orbiting them.
Even nerdy, fat, socially awkward chicks.

RoyalAugur92 · 2019-01-05T13:21:38+00:00

Most men will date whatever they can get.

killallthenarcs · 2019-01-05T15:59:30+00:00

Because someone who doesn't fuck unless they know the story it leads to is a good one is far more likely to be capable of being sexually faithful.

TheMarbleSlab · 2019-01-05T16:34:48+00:00

Some women are saving sex for marriage and love.

[deleted] · 2019-01-05T17:15:52+00:00

LOL I love the "dureeee it's (insert current year) therefore everyone is super horny and loose" argument. I mean how much of a dumber and not even true cliche can you possibly get?

[deleted] · 2019-01-05T20:43:53+00:00

Usually because that’s like the first person who has shown any interest whatsoever in them since their last relationship which can be any unspecified time. They don’t necessarily have the options to try to date someone and find someone else, it could be months or years til they find someone even slightly attracted to them.

0b01 · 2019-01-06T04:23:51+00:00

You seem to have skipped the development phase called theory of mind

dottywine · 2019-01-06T11:01:15+00:00

The OP is so fucking laughable, has to be a joke. I literally lol’d

Zippo-Cat · 2019-01-05T05:21:06+00:00

Are you trying to be sarcastic? Because you're actually making a good point.

Most men need to realize it's over.

reluctantly_red · 2019-01-05T07:19:05+00:00

It's simple. If a woman doesn't fuck you on the first date it just means she's not attracted to you, otherwise she'd be so horny she couldn't wait for you to stick that cock in her. [ok that went a little porno, but my point still stands]

It's usually logistically difficult to fuck on the first date. It's very easy to gauge interest on the date it shortly after. Usually I'll just have the first date, then on the second make the move to some physical contact and kissing, then the third aim to seal the deal.

[deleted] · 2019-01-05T16:43:05+00:00

This isn't such a dumb fucking post idk where to even begin

[deleted] · 2019-01-05T20:30:22+00:00

Depending on how attracted I am to her, maybe I'll give her up to three dates to have sex. But if it hasn't happened on the third, there won't be a fourth.

Title	Why do men continue to date women who don't put out on the first date?
Author	ExtensionComplexion
Upvotes	7
Comments	283
Date	January 5, 2019 5:10 AM UTC (7 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/acr1p7/why_do_men_continue_to_date_women_who_dont_put/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/why-do-men-continue-to-date-women-who-dont-put-out.258025 https://theredarchive.com/post/258025

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