Q4W: Do you think a guy becomes more attractive if you find out he is taken?

whichbladeN · 2018-10-11T03:26:51+00:00

Yeah, sometimes a guy becomes more attractive because other people find him attractive.

I don't think it applies to every single person though. Women finding a guy attractive suggests a few things.

He's probably not desperate
He has more attractive aspects of his personality than you currently know

But that applies to any man getting any level of female interest. It's not about them being taken or married. It's just about female interest.

CatchPhraze · 2018-10-11T03:48:16+00:00

I think more woman are friendly to taken men because they pose less of a risk of misunderstanding it and acting on it. Most woman I know are naturally very open and warm towards others but because men don't act like that to other men, only woman they are attracted or familiar with they mistake it as flirting.

Taken men are "safer" because they are less likely to be creepy or sexually predatory meaning a woman can be more open and warm with him.

I can see why this would attract some woman to desire this man, but for the most part friendly attention doesn't really mean attraction, it just means comfort. Men mistake this a LOT.

Nevidimka- · 2018-10-11T07:52:25+00:00

I consider myself lucky to not have this strange urge to screw guys in relationships, but I've seen it happen a lot of times with other women. I'm not sure if it has to do with preselection. I think part of it is that some women feel like they "win" from the gf if he gets with them.

Superfluous_Toast · 2018-10-11T12:25:45+00:00

Finding out a dude is taken results in disappointment, nothing more.

Willow-girl · 2018-10-11T03:54:46+00:00

No, I don't poach on other women's preserves.

I might be a little more relaxed around him because I'd assume he isn't going to hit on me.

[deleted] · 2018-10-11T11:50:33+00:00

He doesn't become more attractive, he stays the same amount of attractive if I like his partner or less if I dislike her.

throwawaycomedian95 · 2018-10-11T15:02:19+00:00

Scarcity and social proof

Young_Oryx · 2018-10-11T03:25:29+00:00

No. If a man is taken that means he's not an option, and it's not worth considering him at all.

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KikiYuyu · 2018-10-11T19:49:25+00:00

Not at all, they stay the same to me.

Pleasant-ryy · 2018-10-11T06:29:48+00:00

I suppose that it'd make me wonder what this girl likes about him. But regardless, i'm not morally corrupt enough to try pursuing a guy who's in a relationship. Aside from being the wrong thing to do it's also a waste of time

immaculacy · 2018-10-11T03:56:15+00:00

I don't think that'show pre-selection has worked in the past many thousand years lol. That sounds very cavemanish. Going for a guy that other girls like, who other girls think is attractive and cool, yeah. But not if he's taken.

sublimemongrel · 2018-10-11T04:23:05+00:00

No not to me at all but I’ve seen girls creep out of the woodworks when I broke up with a guy and suddenly he’s single.

OTOH, dudes do that constantly so 🤷‍♀️

Eartherry · 2018-10-11T06:59:08+00:00

If I'm looking for a guy I can discard without much resistance, a guy in a relationship is the safer option.

EminemLovesGrapes · 2018-10-11T12:38:21+00:00

I think it's only correlated in that someone who managed to attract a partner then also had qualities that attract one.

It's only coincidental, you need to be attractive to attract someone, so if you're attractive obviously other people would also be attracted.

Although I doubt dating someone who many people would find unattractive would make you more attractive.... Well maybe only because you're standing next to someone even uglier

Nodoxxintoxin · 2018-10-12T00:48:47+00:00

Seeing someone in a sexual relationship, especially with an attractive partner, makes me more likely to see them as a sexual being. I have had some odd taste in men at times, and I’ve definitely seen my attraction to a fellow outlier influence others opinion of them.

[deleted] · 2018-10-12T06:32:02+00:00

Women never give honest answers. That's the problem with such debate subs. Observe their actions not their words. It is the ONLY way to understand women. Observations to what they respond to. Not what they say. PPD is useless.

[deleted] · 2018-10-12T21:47:13+00:00

Women do look to other women for signals as to whether or not someone is attractive or "valuable."

A few weeks ago I went out to dinner with a male friend close to his gym, a bunch of the female gym goers were there and saw us together. He said ever since then, the same girls have been eyeing him up and talking to him more. I believe it.

Myself personally, I'm not more attracted to someone who is taken, I'm not interested in any drama or bs. But it does count as a positive if someone has at least been in a relationship before.

Atlas_B_Shruggin · 2018-10-11T04:24:00+00:00

They didnt become "more" attractive, the fact they had a gf was irrelevant to whether I fucked them. Never stopped me

alby333 · 2018-10-11T07:11:48+00:00

I have to say my personal experience varies greatly from the answers here as a young man my options were always greater when in a relationship especially if my so was super hot

Khungghar · 2018-10-11T07:13:50+00:00

If he is married with kids, yes. Otherwise, no.

They probably get more attention because men become safe once he has a girlfriend. Women can be friendly without having to risk leading the guy on.

[deleted] · 2018-10-11T08:39:27+00:00

I like men who are taken, only because I can actually be myself around them and they won’t get any funny ideas. Single men are the fucking worst.

[deleted] · 2018-10-11T12:22:13+00:00

Oh, I can speak to this! Mr. Upton was taken when we first met. I fell madly in love with him instantly; it would not have been possible for me to be more attracted to him.

But as far as I was concerned, he was a non-option, due to the fact that he was taken. It didn't matter how attracted I was. He may as well have been living on the moon.

SmurfESmurferson · 2018-10-11T03:47:45+00:00

Nope.

He wasn't in the dating pool; therefore, he didn't even register as a prospect. He was asexual

azngirl7689 · 2018-10-11T03:55:17+00:00

Taken men do not have penises any longer. They are at most girl friends (the platonic kind), but usually just acquaintances.

SpaceWhiskey · 2018-10-11T12:42:12+00:00

Sexually attractive and someone I’m going to now pursue? No, I’m not that girl. But I am more likely to become relaxed and friends with a taken man (provided he’s not a scummy cheater type) since I won’t have to worry about him misreading signals or whatever, especially if I’m friends with his partner. Some of my best guy friends are guys who I met because they were dating my lady friends.

Orange_Paisley · 2018-10-11T17:24:10+00:00

No. I think a guy who has a partner might have more confidence, which makes him more attractive, but I've never found that the girlfriend herself makes him more attractive.

Title	Q4W: Do you think a guy becomes more attractive if you find out he is taken?
Author	Betanorman
Upvotes	9
Comments	97
Date	October 11, 2018 3:21 AM UTC (7 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/9n6cuf/q4w_do_you_think_a_guy_becomes_more_attractive_if/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/q4w-do-you-think-a-guy-becomes-more-attractive-if.259518 https://theredarchive.com/post/259518

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