CMV: Men want women that are masculine brained but have a hyperfeminine appearance.

MercedesBenzoAMG · 2018-04-10T13:19:03+00:00

I mean, this is intrinsically subjective so how can it be debated?

Some men absolutely want that, others don't.

I don't see how much else can really be said without making the discussion entirely wild conjecture based on personal anecdotes.

philomexa · 2018-04-10T15:03:12+00:00

Not really.

I'm very likely a high functioning autist (per a Dr. friend, mother, and husband), but I have a conventionally attractive (feminine, sexy, girly, womanly, cute, etc) exterior. I've never been light on male attention, guys seem to flock to me cause I "get it". A hot cool girl without the misogynistic self loathing or BPD insanity.

I understand male brain stuff easier than female brain stuff; communication styles, interests, emotional regulation, etc. This is thrilling to guys when we hang out, but once in a relationship they want that conflict of feminine energy.

Too often I've been accused of being cold, unfeeling, weird, etc because I can't give them that girly, submissive, weepy, warm, maternal, soft thing that other 'normal' women can. That sort of behavior triggers... I dunno, primal attraction and attachment.

So in the end I'm an awesome hot bro, but that leaves guy who become emotional involved feeling short changed because my nature deny's them the full expressions of their man energy, or whatever.

On the flip side, no chance for toxic femininity, that shit is fucking alien to me. But I am still bound by my reactive female libido, that's been tough, but I don't have any emotional or neurotic attachment to it so working to expand my libido has been relatively harmless.

Can't really CMV, but its just worth mentioning that once they have it, its not really what they want.

TakesloooongShowers · 2018-04-10T15:00:45+00:00

I think I fit that description very well. I have a very feminine apperance, however my major hobbies/borderline obsessions are considered masculine in nature. I cook quite well and bake well although I hate cooking. Also I've only dated two men in my entire life who could match my incredibly high sex drive.

From my experience many men pursue me because of these traits. Still, issues crop up because often times what someone thinks they want and what they actually want are two different things. Here's a few different issues I've had with men who pursued me because they thought I was their version of "The whole package"

Men thinking it's awesome that I share a hobby with them. Then they try to explain every aspect of said hobby in detail to me as if I were a small child just learning it. Don't get me wrong I'm always up for learning new things. However, there's a difference between sharing information and techniques and explaining something to someone as if they know zilch about it.
Men getting incredibly butthurt when I am better than them at said hobby. Like turning into pouty children because I beat them at a game I had no idea we were playing. Or being incredibly passive aggressive about me doing better than them. Or talking about how lucky I was that day to do so much better. This has happened way more often than my first point as I've been into my main hobby since I was quite young.
Men assuming I'm exaggerating my sex drive, then getting upset because they can't keep up. Side note: I'd never pressure someone to have sexual relations more often than they're willing. I've also pre warned men about my sex drive, but I guess some people didn't believe me because I wasn't keen to just jump in bed with them right away.
Men assuming because I gushed over my main hobby that I occasionally enjoy doing it. Then inviting me to do said hobby as a guise to entertain the other women while the guys go do said hobby. This has only happened to me twice in my life. But I'll never forget being left with women who regularly spend oodles of money getting their hair and nails done, dragging me kicking and screaming to the spa. Okay that last part was made up. I wasn't kicking and screaming, I played along for appearances sake. I love other women but damn girl, for what you spent on your hair I could buy a few new things for my hobby that will last years to come.

Number four may have happened the most infrequently but it cements my theme that when some men say they want such and such in a women. They really want a watered down version of that. They don't want the chick that can do it all because it made them feel less needed. I can build my own furniture, fix minor repairs on my car and put in new flooring. Yes I can lift that sir, I can lift and carry you too. I don't need help and for some reason this ends up intimidating many men. Being better at a masculine hobby seems to bruise their ego.

Lucky for me their are numerous men out there who couldn't care less if I'm better at a particular hobby. Who understand that they're not broken just because their sex drive is lower than mine. Men who are proud to have a long haired hippy looking chick on their arm that was born with the strength of a weathered farm girl.

I think situations like the ones I've numbered above could be avoided if people took more time to evaluate their wants in a significant other. Some things so sound much better in theory.

Obviously this is just my own personal experience on the subject. I'm not arguing that this is how things are in most cases. Just my two cents, that's all.

Edited to add: On the emotional front I used to suppress emotions growing up. Never cried in front of anyone etc. etc. This was brought to my attention in many relationships. Men did not like this about me and rightfully so. A good relationship goes hand in hand with in depth communication. I worked on these issues throughout the years and believe I have grown as a person on this front.

DaphneDK42 · 2018-04-10T13:22:33+00:00

Nope. Not what I want. I can handle a bit of craziness, because all women are like that, but male interests? Nope. Masculine communication style: double nope. Not very emotional - nope. I want a girl who cries when she see cute puppies and swoons over little babies.

In general most of the issues with relationships is we expect too much. She's not your mother, sister, daughter, or buddy. She's your wife/gf. which is another category. Having different spheres of interests is quite ok. Preferable even.

Invalidity · 2018-04-10T15:02:34+00:00

"If she's a 9 hot and a 1 crazy, she's a dude. Congratulations you're dating a tranny."

analt223 · 2018-04-10T13:25:44+00:00

People act like women don't have insane sex drives. They definitely do. Its just a much smaller amount of men check all the required checkboxes

Being in the 75 to 80 percentile in all the major areas (physical, mental, intellectual, social, financial) is a start, but really the insane sex drives from women come from the men who are in the top say...95th percentile in all those things. The amount of crazy shit I've seen horny women do for those men is absurd. They basically become men in terms of how they express themselves sexually, and very often even more sexually expressive

Eastuss · 2018-04-10T13:22:33+00:00

has a male sex drive

Is attracted to them sexually

a masculine communication style

An adult and mature communication style

not very emotional

Adult and mature emotions

and cooking

Adult and mature task repartition when you marry someone wealthier than you

AstuteBlackMan · 2018-04-10T16:52:33+00:00

False. Some men are gay and want other men

[deleted] · 2018-04-10T14:51:14+00:00

I just want a woman who isn't concerned with that fucking shit. Just be yourself and let me be myself too.

OhhDatDogOMine · 2018-04-10T12:57:48+00:00

Male sex drive - yes

Masculine communication style - no

Not very emotional - no

male interests - Sure it would be nice if we share interests, but ideally she would have primarily feminine interests with a few masculine, which is pretty much all women anyway. I don't want a girl who is "like one of the guys".

wtknight · 2018-04-10T14:06:21+00:00

Men in general want a woman who is receptive to them. The male sex drive thing is not so necessary. Instead, he just wants her to be receptive to sex and to pleasing him when he wants it. Male interests aren’t necessary either, especially if the man has guy friends that he can do things with. The not very emotional and slightly crazy things contradict each other, as it is often the emotions of men and women that bring drama and excitement to a relationship.

Werewolf35b · 2018-04-10T15:12:35+00:00

So, a crossdresser or transexual.

Sounds about right.

KikiYuyu · 2018-04-10T13:13:55+00:00

I'm sure some men want that, but what makes you think all of them, or even most of them do?

InformalCriticism · 2018-04-10T14:08:34+00:00

Sex drive comparable to men's would be nice.

Male interests? How about common interests?

Masculine communication style. I'm going to go with a hard yes; if there's anything women don't do well is use their "superior emotional intelligence" to communicate with men.

Emotional types are on a spectrum, less is more, but too little can make a man emotionally unstable/needy/slip into beta mode.

If she has domestic skills that's a plus. Wouldn't want her to starve while I'm away.

Not crazy at all would be better.

You should probably define your meaning of "masculine" and "masculinity" with a CMV like this, because it seems like you have very rigid ideas about male and female traits that might not translate well in every culture.

AllModsAreLikeThat · 2018-04-10T14:51:15+00:00

You’re correct sir. Ill skip the crazy though.

Tedesche · 2018-04-10T14:58:06+00:00

1.) I want a woman with a sex drive comparable to mine; a woman who wants it too often is just as annoying as a man who does.

2.) I want a woman with many of my interests, but some of her own too (people who solely like what you like are boring).

3.) My communication style, which is fairly direct, but not as direct as some others I’ve met.

4.) Emotionality is great when it’s positive emotion being expressed, bad when it’s negative emotion. Assuming I can have one without the other, I’ll take less emotional. But positive emotionality is still great.

5.) I don’t like makeup.

6.) Does she use shampoo? Check.

7.) As long as she knows how to dress well enough to be taken out in public, we’re good.

8.) I do not need a woman to cook for me.

9.) Interest and sane are not mutually exclusive character traits.

Honestly, I think this suffers from the same crap a lot of TRP stuff suffers from: an over-adherence to stereotypes. Men aren’t nearly homogenous enough as a group for the OP description to describe more than a small proportion of them.

Do you think women want a guy with low (feminine) sex drive, feminine interests, indirect (feminine) communication style, highly emotional, but is interested in making money, fixing things, cars, and sports?

Because I can’t personally think of any women I know who would find that combination desirable.

[deleted] · 2018-04-10T16:22:24+00:00

A man wearing makeup is a cross dresser or some sort of trans person.

Are you being sarcastic here? How many of the sexiest man alive magazine covers features men who wear make up?

How many male singers actually have a feminine appearance ?

[deleted] · 2018-04-11T02:43:02+00:00

False

If we wanted to date a dude we’d suck dick

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[deleted] · 2018-04-10T13:33:33+00:00

I don't want neither. Feminine woman is neither of those. High sex drive means "don't be frigid bitch" but that depends on both, the guy, does he turn her on even? And a woman, who may be too self conscious to let herself go. Or maybe that's how she is and a man must look for other woman.

DeeMooreDeeMarriet · 2018-04-10T14:38:49+00:00

Men want a woman who is relatively thin with firm breasts who isn't a bitch.

/End thread.

Atlas_B_Shruggin · 2018-04-10T16:19:47+00:00

No, men don't want women who are masculine brained. A masculine communication style would be nice. But we don't want women with male interests. We don't want to date guys.

We also don't want women with male sex drives, because they're high T women and they cheat.

We do want women who are emotional. We just don't want women who make decisions based on their emotions. We just don't want women who live their entire lives based on their emotions. We just don't want women who are unable to regulate their own emotions. We don't want women who respond solely to their own emotions in lieu of facts. We don't want women who are complete emotional basket cases and who have total meltdowns every time something kind of adverse happens.

FairlyNaive · 2018-04-10T17:44:57+00:00

Sex drive yes, crszy yes, everythinh else - no way in hell.

kick6 · 2018-04-10T18:49:44+00:00

If your list is hyperfeminine....what does "just" feminine look like?

Taipanshimshon · 2018-04-10T19:14:12+00:00

No, we do not want a gay man with a vagina.

we want a woman that shows interest in us physically mentally and emotionally, isnt a turnoff to look at, and can keep a conversation, or at least not be terribly boring

mistercheeez-o____O- · 2018-04-10T19:34:45+00:00

They want a woman who has a male sex drive.

Not a male sex drive, but high.. enough. I would like a woman who enjoys making love to me. Isn't that what women typically want too? A BF who would like to make love to them?

male interests.

We have friends normally for those purposes. I don't find that particularly attractive, however if a woman enjoys some of those interests it could be fun. I don't care either way. I have a social life eh?

a masculine communication style

Not attractive. Key word; masculine.

but is interested in makeup, hair, style and cooking.

Makeup: sure but I mean most of the men that I know seem to view it as a nuisance, I appreciate it, but like I don't care. If makeup is a prerequisite for me to be attracted to you, than I'm not really attracted to you am I?

Hair: clean and looking presentable.

Style: don't dress like all you watch is anime, I watch tons of anime but I don't look like I do. You get me eh?

Cooking: And yes cooking is great, but who doesn't like food? And my standards(as most dudes) are pretty manageable with food, like: bologna, mustard, in between bread, and a beer (unreasonable?). IF you feel like getting a we bit crazy with it, toss me a bag of chips!

And also, except for the makeup, don't women have an interest in men who can look good, dress themselves and cook?

[deleted] · 2018-04-10T19:55:56+00:00

“Male sex drive”

Why do so many people think that women have a lower sex drive than men?

blackedoutfast · 2018-04-10T21:04:23+00:00

there are men like that, but they tend to be men who are somewhat on the autism spectrum and/or don't do well with women don't have a lot of experience.

Eartherry · 2018-04-10T21:29:34+00:00

Men will worry that a woman with a male sex drive will constantly cheat on them. If she surpasses him in knowledge when it comes to his interests he won't have anything to impress her with and will probably move on to something else. I also don't think he'd want a woman to turn down his advances the way a man would, or call him out for bad behavior in a way that he can't defend himself against. If she's not emotional it'll be impossible to make her happy.

N0blesse0blige · 2018-04-11T02:26:17+00:00

Men may sometimes want the convenience of having their male needs and interests understood, but very, very few want a man in a woman’s body (especially not literally a transwoman for those with an ideological agenda).

«Feminine» is probably the most important characteristic of personality and nature that I look for in a girlfriend. In practical terms one might say that I’m looking for a good wife and a good mother, but of course I wish to have a little time before we start a family where she’s just my girlfriend.

Part of a woman’s function in a relationship is to direct a man towards putting time and effort into the family, particularly their children. It’s powerful, and I’ve seen time and time again how a girlfriend or wife confiscates all or much of the time of a friend of mine. Women will tend to discount men’s hobbies and interests, and direct what they use their time for, but as long as it is directed more or less towards children and family life I generally respect it.

vornash2 · 2018-04-11T19:50:37+00:00

Emotionality isn't normally an issue unless it manifests itself in frequent arguments and lashing out at your partner in an illogical way. As someone who is extremely logical I appreciate people who are emotional and sometimes enjoy their company, but not if they're a bitch. A good partner with a healthy amount of empathy should empathize with male sex drive and satisfy it even when not in the mood for sex. We want women who will care for us and nurture us as well. That all involves emotionality. So no, I totally disagree. We may wish that women wouldn't take it out on us because it's that time of the month again, but we don't want women to be like men.

NebXan · 2018-04-13T03:50:28+00:00

So you're saying men want women who are physically attractive and have similar interests to theirs? Who could've possibly guessed?

irishpunk87 · 2018-04-13T09:22:09+00:00

Meeeeeeeeh, yes and no. I wouldn't agree with all of the particular criteria you list there.

Sex drive - don't care honestly, I don't have much of a sex drive myself.

Male interests - HELLLLS YES.

Male communication style - HELLLS YES.

Not very emotional - HELLLLS YES.

Interested in makeup, hair, etc. - actually for me NO. I want a girl who is naturally beautiful and just doesn't give a flying fuck what she looks like, even the faintest hint of vanity or overly caring about her looks is a major turn off to me.

Slightly crazy - FUUUUUCK NO. How on earth is having a normal, chill, down to earth personality boring? Omg I just cannot understand why people would think that lol! None of my guy friends are even remotely "crazy" yet they're all a fucking blast to hang out with, why can't it be the same with girls?

Littleknownfacts · 2018-04-10T12:38:55+00:00

I don't think this is true. I think most men just want an agreeable woman, who isn't hard to get.

Title	CMV: Men want women that are masculine brained but have a hyperfeminine appearance.
Author	hating-life
Upvotes	15
Comments	134
Date	April 10, 2018 12:31 PM UTC (8 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/8b78nh/cmv_men_want_women_that_are_masculine_brained_but/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/cmv-men-want-women-that-are-masculine-brained-but.262930 https://theredarchive.com/post/262930

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