CMV : Women who demand guys to stay in friendships after she rejects him are just as entitled and delusional as "niceguys^tm"

EsauTheRed · 2017-09-28T22:50:07+00:00

I've had a woman resist a sexual relationship which I was VERY upfront about but still want to be friends, expressing disappointment when I said that our friendship would not be as involved and that I would not treat her or do things for her as I previously had, as those are things I would like to reserve for a girlfriend, who later flip flopped and ambiguously suggested there might be some potential to the relationship but that she just wasn't ready. There was definitely initial interest early on, when I held her and picked her up she went beet-red and was warm to the touch, I had an idea of why she didn't want to have sex with me (she was a virgin, I lived far from her, we met online) but she should have respected my time and effort and let me go (I was very into her and pushed very hard, probably scared her off and killed the attraction)

Women lead men on all the time, women love the attention and favors a man who is interested in them gives to them, if they can get it without giving back why shouldn't they?

storffish · 2017-09-28T18:35:30+00:00

...does this happen? do chicks demand that delusional dudes who were hoping to inspire them to fuck through the magic of friendship "stay friends?" is everyone autistic now? damn. ghost the bitch.

EliteSpartanRanger · 2017-09-28T19:13:14+00:00

How often do women demand guys stay friends with them? Most women say "I offer my friendship if you want to take it, but if you prefer not to we will let you go."

It's not like women are stalking men and saying "be my friend" after friendzoning them.

newName543456 · 2017-09-29T06:53:56+00:00

Right.

Women are not owed friendships with guys just like guys aren't owed sex with women.

goatismycopilot · 2017-09-28T18:50:38+00:00

He is not a bad guy. I had a man get mad at me after we broke up because he wanted to be friends and I said bah bro. People are not obligated to be romantic partners or friends we all make our choices and none of that requires the seal of approval from anybody.

Butt-Factory · 2017-09-28T20:07:01+00:00

If I reject a guy, I generally prefer that he leaves me alone. I've never been aware of anyone I know demanding friendship from men they've rejected.

TheBookOfSeil · 2017-09-28T20:37:05+00:00

I don't think it's "entitlement" to want friends. There was a lack of communication/Someone was not forthcoming about what they wanted. That's all.

If you want a relationship, learn to communicate this BOTH VERBALLY AND NON-VERBALLY!

Also, SPEAK UP!

If your actions say "friend" and you don't mention "relationship," friend is the assumed position.

[deleted] · 2017-09-28T21:26:53+00:00

women who do this, don't want to be your friend. They want to be the ones who did the good thing by "letting" you stay friends

BiggerDthanYou · 2017-09-28T18:54:22+00:00

Demands? Isn't it usually something like "but we can stay friends" or "let's just be friends" which will be followed up with "oh no I was just being polite. I have no intention of staying/being friends with you" if he agrees

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[deleted] · 2017-09-29T00:31:34+00:00

Of course they can't demand it. The time like this when it's a problem is if they're stuck together in some way, such as in school. Then the girl might worry she'll get kickback from the rejection.

madeofivory · 2017-09-29T14:30:05+00:00

As somebody who's been both "friendzoned" and the "lets just be friends" girl, I don't see that phrase as a demand or a sense of entitlement at all.

I think it started out as a way of letting em down easy, saying that you don't like them romantically but that you still like them as a person and value their friendship. But now people associate it negatively, cause it stings to be always be around someone that rejected you romantically. But I think most often it is said with good intentions, and not out of a sense of entitlement.

ephemer- · 2017-09-29T14:47:22+00:00

It can even happen that both sides want to preserve the friendship, but I think it is just hard to manage without taking some break in between. A bunch of the comments on this post deal with the situation: https://www.reddit.com/r/MensLib/comments/70f6w3/i_have_a_female_friend_who_i_met_this_year_she_is/

I think that in general it's totally okay to want to preserve the friendship, but it is silly to think that this can be done by negating the other person's feeling and impose your presence when they need some distance.

ooj567 · 2017-10-03T17:50:27+00:00

I agree. I rejected my friend of 8 years. And out of respect for his feelings, I maintain distance, only talking when he call. I even tell him reason for my rejection so he can get over it more easily. After 2 years, he married a cute girl and I never seen him so much happy. Couldn't attend wedding due to unavoidable work on same day. He is still in honeymoon phase so all of us friend has taken a seat back so that he can enjoy much time with his wife.

wtknight · 2017-09-28T18:55:24+00:00

I had this argument already so I don't really want to have it again. I'll just say that my point was that a truly "nice" guy would care more about preserving a friendship than about being butthurt that he was rejected and breaking off all contact with a woman. Ideally, he should just go and pursue another woman while maintaining his friendship with the first woman if their friendship actually meant anything. If they were actually good friends, and they just stop being friends because of a rejected approach, then how good of friends were they really?

I do think that a "normal" guy will want to break things off to protect his feelings, though, and I wouldn't fault a guy who did such a thing as a means of self-preservation, at least until he manages to find somebody else to have a relationship with.

Moobx · 2017-09-29T01:19:37+00:00

hmm i have heard about women shaming guys after they ask for space/cannot return to the same dynamic upon rejection, and accusing them of trying to get into their pants all along. i am more surprised at the people saying that the friendship should mean more or something. has no one here ever developed feelings after becoming friends? the only way to healthily get over someone is distance. the only way to not wanna bang someone is to not be attracted to them. if the personalities match and the attraction is there, why wouldn't feelings develop?

whichbladeN · 2017-09-28T18:36:11+00:00

It's not bad.

It just personally feels disrespectful that they weren't able to treat the friendship 'professionally' you know?

That person who fell in love started to put expectations on the other person and reacted negatively when they didn't get their way.

It's just sad to think someone you were enjoying took you out of you their life, regardless of their reasons.

Title	CMV : Women who demand guys to stay in friendships after she rejects him are just as entitled and delusional as "niceguys^tm"
Author	neofau
Upvotes	67
Comments	164
Date	September 28, 2017 6:23 PM UTC (8 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/7320kk/cmv_women_who_demand_guys_to_stay_in_friendships/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/cmv-women-who-demand-guys-to-stay-in-friendships.265894 https://theredarchive.com/post/265894

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