What do you think of submissive males in a BDSM setting?

LeGrandDiableBlanc · 2014-12-20T23:19:33+00:00

If a man is happy being in a relationship with a dominant woman and find sexual and emotional fulfillment in being of service to her, is there really anything wrong with that?

There's never anything wrong with anything so long as people all people involved are consenting adults (Mill's harm principle ftw.)

I would not, however, encourage your average man to try to become a male submissive if he was asking how to increase his chances with women in general, or if a guy was wondering how he could improve his long term relationship.

With regards to TRP/BP, what is the point you're trying to make?

[deleted] · 2014-12-21T02:11:45+00:00

Who in the heavens, hells and the whole universe gives even the tiniest piece of a microscopic fuck?

cxj · 2014-12-20T18:45:10+00:00

A handful of exceptional deviants do not disprove general rules about the mechanics of heterosexual attraction. Of course, I have nothing against them.

[deleted] · 2014-12-21T14:36:21+00:00

If a man is happy being in a relationship with a dominant woman and find sexual and emotional fulfillment in being of service to her, is there really anything wrong with that?

No, but what is your point? That since small percentage of men are beta bottoms, all men are beta bottoms?

M_rafay · 2014-12-20T19:40:49+00:00

BDSM as a whole, is an over-done and thus, poor replica of the real thing.

Reginleifer · 2014-12-20T17:46:36+00:00

My opinion on BDSM is the same as my opinion on trisexual otherkins and other deviant forms of sexual expression.

It's a symptom of a greater social disease, men and women given faulty training and now like teenagers from a family whose parents never gave them the "talk", they try out things like losing their virginity to their mate by ear or something

A lot of sex has elements of dominance in it, but if you find yourself needing whips, an elevated saddle, a woman taking your money and to be hung in the air by meathooks or something just to get a boner. You probably....need help.

Not that I care enough to ban it, what people do with their own bodies is their own business, in private or public. It's just a symptom.

D/s relationships are based on consent and negotiating boundaries--everyone knows what they're getting into.

So you claim, but even within the BDSM community there are gripes about which facilities don't actually adhere to their "consent and boundaries" comfort zone.

Also some feminists tend to fucking hate the BDSM community as well, I'm sure they would disagree with your broad statement.

A better statement would have been:

Make the assumption that D/s relationships are based on consent and negotiating boundaries--everyone knows what they're getting into.

Not that I doubt you, but I can imagine the shit storm that would occur if I made an absolute positive statement about the RP.

Those_Who_Remain · 2014-12-20T20:57:42+00:00

If they like it, more power to them. I'm biased though, since I'm a submissive (gay) man as well.

SpaceWhiskey · 2014-12-20T21:54:18+00:00

Super hot.

Bakerofpie · 2014-12-20T19:59:17+00:00

Anyone who cares should get a life.

powerkick · 2014-12-20T20:41:57+00:00

There's nothing "wrong" with anything, why is this a purple pill debate q?

jacks1000 · 2014-12-21T02:23:37+00:00

I wouldn't piss on one even if he offered me $200 ...

http://hipsterracist.wordpress.com/2013/08/20/kinky-sex-fetish-a-manhattan-murder-mystery/

worktimeterpin · 2014-12-21T08:06:34+00:00

If a man is happy being in a relationship with a dominant woman and find sexual and emotional fulfillment in being of service to her, is there really anything wrong with that?

TRP isn't about judging people's relationships- they will tell men what actions or inactions are causing them to fuck up their relationships. Asking if something is good or bad is a value judgment and TRP isn't about getting into morality issues.

soylentblueissmurfs · 2014-12-20T18:22:37+00:00

Of course there is nothing wrong with it. To keep this on the topic of RP-philosohpy I'm happy for men who find happiness in a blue pill existence.

namae_nanka · 2014-12-20T19:10:47+00:00

with a dominant woman

It's comical.

is there really anything wrong with that?

Fantasies taken to such extremes tend to get loopy, but hey we are living in the times of not that there's anything wrong with that!.

Keep in mind, D/s relationships are based on consent and negotiating boundaries--everyone knows what they're getting into.

If only they'd allow for same respect to the institution of marriage.

MissPearl · 2014-12-20T20:14:30+00:00

Oh wow, this is where I came in. Here let me summarise:

They talk either about how it is the downfall of civilisation or so lame and banal. When the sheer volume of male sub's it gets derailed to the femdom scarcity.

sh1v · 2014-12-21T02:47:06+00:00

If a man is happy being in a relationship with a dominant woman and find sexual and emotional fulfillment in being of service to her, is there really anything wrong with that?

Sure there is, the genders are in the wrong places.

Aerobus · 2014-12-20T18:33:32+00:00

I'd think it's weird as hell.

Whisper · 2014-12-21T18:42:13+00:00

If a man is happy being in a relationship with a dominant woman and find sexual and emotional fulfillment in being of service to her, is there really anything wrong with that?

You're a little bit confused, here.

TRP is descriptive, not moralistic. It concerns itself with "is", not "should".

TBP is moralistic, not descriptive. It concerns itself with "should", not "is".

Asking whether TRP readers think something is wrong or bad is like asking TBP readers whether they think something is true. In both cases, they don't care.

winndixie · 2014-12-24T21:59:46+00:00

Why do what we think of other people's sex kinks matter?

jacks1000 · 2014-12-20T20:35:23+00:00

I think TRP would prefer to think that these men don't exist. Certainly there can't be more than 33 of them! 33 in America and probably 12 more in the rest of the world. (Because the rest of the world isn't as all liberally and blue like the US, natch.)

They don't know that men (powerful men) have been requesting domination from their lovers for a long time. When the term "masochism" was invented in the late 18th century thanks to Leopold von Sacher-Masoch's Venus in Furs, it was already established in some circles that men requested their courtesans to service them with whips.

Masoch's Venus in Furs actually has an interesting RP spin to it. At the end of the novel, the submissive male protagonist suddenly becomes the dominant and never requests being dominated by his mistress ever again. It's a very strange change of tone in the book - a complete 180 - and it's always bothered me. Obviously, if you're wired to like masochism, one chance to submit to your lover isn't going to satisfy you forevermore so you can then be the resolute, stoic man everyone wants you to be. But this is still fantasy for Masoch, and I think because he never had a partner who was as passionate about dominating him as he was being dominated, he was warped by this constant impression that there was nothing in life for him to do but fulfill a role he ultimately did not want (that is, if he wanted to be truly loved by those around him).

I always feel sorry for such men, and sort of perplexed that there are way more of them than there are dominant women. I know it's very important for a submissive man to feel wanted, desired, (actually I think many men find it important in general, regardless of their feelings toward BDSM), and I never really felt threatened by many women because I know many women don't know how (or want to know how) to express that sort of raw, consumptive passion such guys yearn for. It's always been a sort of ace up my sleeve.

I also think men with a submissive streak (rather than just a dominant streak) tend to be well-rounded and extremely stable. They're like a well-planted tree that has weathered storm after storm.

Also TRP is made up of a lot of young guys and I've noticed many guys take a looooong time to get in touch with their freaky sides. Not many younger people are involved in the BDSM scene simply because it takes most young people a while to experiment and figure out what their kinks are. Unless you're like me: a little perv who had a very good idea of what she wanted straight out of the gate. I've noticed many submissive guys don't figure out their kinks well into middle-age and then they're not hot anymore :(

GuildedCasket · 2014-12-21T00:14:04+00:00

I find it quite amusing how uncomfortable Red Pillers are with alternative sexual expression. Not sure what it says about RP, but it says something interesting, certainly. Probably about their own insecurities or whatever. But I'm going to try not to get into any arguments with people here though, this is a soft spot for me and reading the ignorance in here is already making my blood boil.

amoebacake · 2014-12-20T19:36:01+00:00

I am not into BDSM, but it's very interesting to me because I don't understand it at all. The trope is that it's the high powered men who seek out the services of dominatrices. I find it fascinating such strong men who like being in control develop desires to lose that control as sexual expression, and I wonder why this happens.

*I didn't realize this was question was for red pill only.

Tarnsman4Life · 2014-12-20T21:59:02+00:00

Considering in traditional BDSM the submissive has all the power that creates a conundrum. On the one hand, the man having power over the woman, the real power, is of the natural order of things. On the other hand, a man doing anything for the primary purpose of a womans pleasure and needs, let-alone for the sole purpose of that is vexing. A male submissive is a contradiction; he is in fact acting as the woman in the relationship and that is not natural. That is how it should work; but it really doesn't because he is not actually a woman and the female dominant is not actually a man.

The fact is he is still a man and she is still a woman and just like in the normal world; abuse claims by a man against a woman in the BDSM community are generally not taken seriously or at least as seriously. All a female sub has to do in many scenes to get a Dom black listed is to claim she used the safe word and he wouldn't stop. So you remove a lot of the power that the typical sub has in a BDSM Scenario.

Rhad42 · 2014-12-20T23:48:51+00:00

I find it disgusting, personally. But if someone gets off on it, more power to them.

wazzup987 · 2014-12-20T22:39:09+00:00

negotiating boundaries--everyone knows what they're getting into

Lol red pill can't hand a truly sex positive environment. there whole faith is based around the assumption the women for the most part don't like sex with most guys and need an alpha to reach orgasm.

spoilers it doesn't 'alphaness' to make woman orgasm it takes knowing the woman to make a woman orgasm.

In the out in the open scene the ratio is a bit fucked but there are plenty of women willing to go that route, also as women get older they tend to take on the dominant role more and more. Also there are loads of women not currently in the scene that would be willing to come on to the scene with there SO. so they are out it just a matter of finding them.

now excuse me i have a play party to attend to and 3 cakes to make.

squirtmasterd · 2014-12-23T08:50:06+00:00

I'm a submissive male sexually but use red pill game to get women in the first place. As long as I hold frame outside the bedroom and as soon as a session is finished make her apologise and have her go back to being submissive it's fine. It's nice and relaxing to have the everyday weight off of my shoulders when I'm being dom'd.

Xerodi · 2014-12-21T00:58:30+00:00

I think I've learned something today about how important manipulation is to some RPs, and how strongly they belittle consent.

Title	What do you think of submissive males in a BDSM setting?
Author	Xerodi
Upvotes	5
Comments	246
Date	December 20, 2014 5:29 PM UTC (11 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/2pwd9j/what_do_you_think_of_submissive_males_in_a_bdsm/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/what-do-you-think-of-submissive-males-in-a-bdsm.284051 https://theredarchive.com/post/284051

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