So do women communicate what they want in bed or not?

BothWaysItGoes · 2020-01-04T03:57:25+00:00

Some do, some don't

alluringjustice · 2020-01-04T12:26:50+00:00

I’m very vocal in bed and that makes guys think I’m dominating. “Do this, no not like that let me show you, let’s do this position, put your hand here, stop doing that do this instead”. My general sex feedback has been - “you’re really vocal and dominant”. So I think that dudes that like sUbMisSiVe women don’t actually want to be guided in bed they just want the girl to cum from whatever THEY want to do.

decoy88 · 2020-01-04T05:38:56+00:00

So do women communicate what they want in bed or not?

moaning is an obvious one. but alot of it is non verbal.

you have to be paying attention to what you are doing and how shes reacting. can't just mindless stab away.

and likes it's kinda obvious when you go from doing something right to doing something wrong cause she's not as into it as before. so you go back to what you were doing before

life if you're eating her out and she's wiggling and worming then you switch technique and she stops and becomes still .... then obvious she doesn't like that one . maybe the last girl did. doesn't matter go back to the other technique

or like if you change the angle and she's starts moving herself to get a better one... don't change the angle again asshole lol

another example is like if it's doggy and you're going too slow she might not say "faster" or "harder"... she'll just start coming back into you faster

lots of guys don't count these non verbal things as "communication" but it is ....she's trying to convey a message

as for choking. i'm not into it . but girls who have been into it usually put my hand around their throat or sometimes they start with their hands around mine like the last girl

great_sco0tt · 2020-01-04T15:05:36+00:00

In my experience, older women with more partners and who know their body, openly communicate.

I'm a bit shocked by the answers hers "they moan if they like something" I mean have you even had sex with a woman? They all fucking moan during sex, unless openly in pain. That's what they are taught they are supposed to do. Moaning does not mean they are close to orgasm. They might even enjoy it and moan, but it does not equal good sex.

The biggest problem is that many women are ashamed of their sexuality. Many grow up in prude houses and don't get good sex Ed, and mainstream porn is gross for women so they don't get that education either.

The way to solve it is to start communicating with them and try to get the to open up. This has to happen before you even get your dick out. Talking is essential. You probably want to hug or make out while you are at it because physical tough encourages them and makes them feel safe. Ensure them you are open to any fantasy and that there is no shame in liking what they like.

Most of my partners were pretty confident and experiences, but I had this one girl who was extremely shy about everything - her body, vagina, boobs, fantasies. It was a long process, but I slowly managed to crack open her shell and the sex we had was the wildest experience ever. It is important to ensure you love their body, kiss, finger, go down on them. Some women can be extremely self conscious about their bodies and even one well meaning phrase can shut them back again.

The biggest problem is not women. It's men she had before you. They might fuck things up so that she doesn't even believe she can get a good quality sex.

keithmorrisonsvoice · 2020-01-04T14:09:36+00:00

Women provide feedback when they feel Safe enough to provide feedback. Some men are so aggressive in their attempts to please, women are afraid of upsetting them.

Orange_Paisley · 2020-01-04T16:17:00+00:00

Men do not want women to communicate their sexual needs. Men want women to like what they were already going to do anyway. If you try to give them feedback they get petulant or say some stupid shit like “well my last girlfriend liked it that way,” forgetting that you are not in fact their last girlfriend and like things somewhat differently.

king_of_red_alphas · 2020-01-04T03:50:14+00:00

What women do: Moan or move their body when the guy does something they like.

What women don’t do: Lead or guide

2020-01-04T19:03:02+00:00

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2020-01-04T15:02:43+00:00

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Workaholiconew · 2020-01-04T04:31:07+00:00

In my experience, women do exactly as they do when they are in charge of anything.

The average woman will expect the man to read her mind, he will fail, she will remark rather rudely, that what he tried did not work or is not right, and proceed to refuse to tell how and why. Most women do not think it is their job or responsibility to work for themselves. It is all men's job and responsibility. Even reading their minds.

After decades of trial and error or some decades of asking around the same thing, men disclose the average woman rape-y fantasies, which for the most part, disturbs and/or confuses men.

You see, women may have a masochist nature but most men do not have a sadist nature, we just have a propensity for rage, a rage we pass our entire lives controlling and mostly are quite good at it.

We know damn well that if we satisfy a woman's masochistic desire we are screwed, so we are in a catch 22 situation, damned if you do, damned if you don't. so most go with the later. It is better to have a unsatisfied woman than die in prison because she knew how to incriminate you with sex.

saladfingers4141 · 2020-01-04T04:49:59+00:00

This is a post I would expect from a dude who has no experience with women not from an actual woman.

Some are sexually very open and some aren't.

CamoWoobie420 · 2020-01-04T04:17:54+00:00

Been with 20 girls, only two gave me feedback. I was choking her and she said "thats not how you do it" and placed my hand on her neck the right way. The other one told me she liked to be dirty talked during sex. Other than that nah, I pretty much do what I do and they get what they get.

Actually, thinking about it, if you count "fuck me harder/faster" then Id say that number goes up to 5ish

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2020-01-04T04:16:19+00:00

Nope. And dont expect any feedback either.

renfsu · 2020-01-04T04:49:41+00:00

I've never had a girl outright tell me what she likes. I always have to ask, and only then do they tell me what they like

MrHerbSherman · 2020-01-04T04:55:16+00:00

I think you gotta distinguish two types of saying what they like

There’s big picture stuff like guidance on what to do, general strategy etc, “oh yeah I love it when you dance with me”

And then there’s small scale stuff like “daddy choke me NOW” where basically it’s just now the time where the choking has to happen, it doesn’t even mean they love choking or whatever they just need the thing now

topofthecentipede · 2020-01-04T05:30:24+00:00

It's just communication. Even if they're getting off i still ask if there's anything niche they like. If you like your partner don't you want them to cum as hard as possible? Lol

TheBookOfSeil · 2020-01-04T06:29:14+00:00

They do, just not in a way that anyone can understand without being asked directly.

king_of_red_alphas · 2020-01-04T07:40:56+00:00

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Pastelitomaracucho · 2020-01-04T09:37:25+00:00

In my experience, most don't

Wallstreet3 · 2020-01-04T12:56:57+00:00

Some women do, some women dont. slolipsism at work here folks.

2020-01-04T15:44:57+00:00

The same moment you care for that you've lost.

corey_trevorson · 2020-01-04T17:59:52+00:00

Yeah it definitely depends on the woman. I was with a girl who rarely ever said what she wanted in bed. Another girl I was recently with basically narrated what she wanted during sex. It just depends on the dynamic. It's not easy sometimes, but if you pay enough attention to things like the girl's noises during sex (how involuntary do they sound?) or her body's reaction (goosebumps, shaking, etc) are generally easy ways of figuring out if she's enjoying it without any verbal communication

eveleaf · 2020-01-04T20:15:55+00:00

When I was younger, I definitely did not.

Part of that is because I had no idea what I wanted.

If all you know is that people are supposed to love sex, but it doesn't feel great to you, you might worry that you're "broken," but have no idea how to fix it. And at least he likes it. And seems to have no idea that you're faking it, and you worry he will take it personally if he finds out otherwise. So you just put up with bad sex. It's the least scary option.

This seems to be the case for quite a few of us, at least at first, when we don't know better. Hopefully, eventually, we grow out of it.

Nowadays I know what I like, what works and what doesn't, and I communicate it. But it took quite a few years for me to get here.

raptor7061 · 2020-01-05T02:51:18+00:00

66% of women, or whatever the fuck is the statistic now, don’t masturbate enough to know what gets them off. It’s not that they are bad at communicating what they want in the sack, most of them can’t even tell you.

crzx29 · 2020-01-07T11:15:50+00:00

I’m pretty vocal about things I do and do not like in bed but it took me a while to become comfortable with that. When I started having sex I told my ex what I wanted and he didn’t took it very well, said that I was humiliating him and that our sex was perfectly fine as it was. For a long time I thought talking so openly about it was rude (I was in my teens at the time).

I only became comfortable with that after I started dating my current bf, who would ask me what exactly I liked when we were getting to know each other. I guess it’s all about insecurities(?) I mean, some people are just naturally vocal and others need a little push to get there.

Xxoxo6969 · 2020-01-04T03:53:03+00:00

When a girl is laying on her back lick her slit bottom to top and watch how she reacts. This is how she reacts to things she likes.

Don't worry about the rare exceptions.

hammerhaunts · 2020-01-04T03:53:25+00:00

mine has been helpful, probably

darudeboysandstorm · 2020-01-04T07:18:54+00:00

Its fairly simple, men cant help but focus almost entirely on women who sexualize themselves. Its truly our greatest curse.

2020-01-04T17:42:37+00:00

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whydidntthey · 2020-01-04T04:03:24+00:00

Never had any woman tell me what she likes. Have had women go, wow, nobody ever treated me that way before.

Also I don't care what makes you orgasm. I already know. Maybe I'll give you one some time maybe not. It's not your decision and I don't need you to tell me which lady bits feel good. I'll do what I want.

Very bizarre how many guys brag that they can give a girl an orgasm. Like.. Congratulations? Guys do this when it's only guys around. Brag that they can give a girl an orgasm. I mean whoopity do you feel the need to brag about this? How embarrassing

Title	So do women communicate what they want in bed or not?
Author	katymarx
Upvotes	19
Comments	127
Date	January 4, 2020 3:48 AM UTC (6 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/ejr66o/so_do_women_communicate_what_they_want_in_bed_or/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/so-do-women-communicate-what-they-want-in-bed-or.306287 https://theredarchive.com/post/306287

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