One of my (24F) male friends, I’ll call Jack (25M), is a bit of a lad and very good looking. Jack basically thinks that lad points are important, he’s always going on about how many girls he’s been with and how high is body count is. I lived with him in a house share for a while and whenever he bought a girl home, he’d make sure to parade her around by introducing her, spend 15-20mins in his room having sex, then come out and strut around naked or in his boxers..yes he really would. I remember saying a few times why are you out here, you have a beautiful girl in your room and you’re not in there with her?
This behaviour was pretty common for him and even though he was an almighty douche, we were still friends. Anyway after about 8 months of living together, after a drunken night, me and Jack ended up in bed together. Honestly it was terrible and having slept with him I realised something. Jack had a big dick (which I knew because of his strutting) but he thought that having a big dick automatically meant he was good at sex. Like it just immediately made him amazing in bed. Our sex was shit, like hands down the worst sex I’d ever had. No foreplay, he left lights and tv on, then unceremoniously shoved himself inside me. The whole thing was basically a race for him to get inside me as quickly as possible. Maybe 10 minutes of uncomfortable jackhammering then he was done. The next morning I was really sore because 1. I wasn’t wet at all 2. His dick was big. But because I was sore he took that as him doing a bang up job. Anyway that experience was a few years ago, and even after all this time, Jack is still the same lad he was and still fucks girls like they’re lined up on a conveyor belt for him.
Back to the present. Recently, my husband and I hosted a bbq in our garden as gatherings are now allowed. Jack came over as he’s in our mutuals group. Of course after a while Jack starts going on about the girls he’s fucked, and even showing up another girl at the party by telling people he’d fucked her. It’s then he turns to me and asks if I can prove to the lads how “fire” he is at sex. Slightly embarrassed but also angry he even mentioned me, I straight up told him he was shit. Basically worst sex I ever had, I then went onto say what happened and that he only has sex just to say that he’s had sex. It wasn’t fun, pleasurable or enjoyable and for the record I didn’t come. Amazingly enough, two other girls also backed up what I was saying. Saying their nights with him were pretty much the same to how I described it. Jack got defensive and angry but we wouldn’t drop it. He eventually left absolutely fuming.
My husband, who knows I slept with him years before said I was insensitive, especially as it seems jack relies heavily on the lad/sex God persona he’s created. I don’t think so, it was about time Jack was called out for being shit in bed and maybe use this to learn how to actually have sex. All the boys in the group think I’m an ass for calling Jack out, me and the girls disagree.
EDIT: - Holy cow this got way more attention than I thought it would! Thanks for all the comments.l and thank you kind strangers for the awards!!
Should clear a few things up. A lot of people asking why I was or am friends with Jack. I was back then, because honestly at times he was a decent guy, just blanketed by a douchey exterior. After I moved out of the house, we fell out of close contact but are still hovering in mutual friend circles. I’m not directly friends with him now but he’s still a friend of a friend and we are normally civil.
EDIT #2: I really don’t get why people are misunderstanding the story. For the record I did not cheat on my husband. Jack and I had a one night stand together years ago while we were at uni. I wouldn’t consider him my friend now but we still have mutuals from different social circles and we do occasionally still see one another.
INFO: Basically my friend group (close/mutual/extended) all knew or knew of each other at uni. I’m British and now live in the states. I attended Uni between the ages of 18 - 21. At 19 I went to the states for a year abroad, and the sister Uni is where I met my now husband. Jack is American and was an international student doing exchange, I was first year he was second year. I, a first year, ended up living with Jack because I decided to go to uni last minute, and as Halls were full, ended up responding to a house share ad (a lot of students drop out after making a house share commitment so these ads are common)
I actually met my husband (also American) through Jack, as Jack was one of my only known contacts when I moved to the states. (My British uni and his American uni were linked) I met my husband a year AFTER I slept with Jack. I could not possibly have had any idea that my housemate and one night stand would go on to introduce me to my future husband. My husband knew Jack and I slept together because unfunnily enough, Jack brought it upon our first meeting.
Living together, Jack and I mainly bonded over weed and raves, and although he was sometimes somewhat decent, looking back I’m disgusted at our so called friendship. I could write an essay on how he treated me.
https://www.reddit.com/user/Lucky-Crow/comments/h7wjd9/in_regards_to_my_aita_post/ > If anyone is interested in an update, I posted it here.
[–]elementalviragoFDS Apprentice140 points141 points142 points (6 children) | Copy Link
When men would try to sell their sex skills to me by saying, “Well I’ve never gotten a complaint” I would ask them “But how many came back for seconds?” crickets
Bad sex is just like receiving bad service at a restaurant, you hardly ever complain you just don’t come back.
[–]NovemberinthechairFDS Apprentice32 points33 points34 points (1 child) | Copy Link
Girl, my ex said that to me once. He wasn't even a competent kisser.
[–]elementalviragoFDS Apprentice11 points12 points13 points (0 children) | Copy Link
Oh hell no, if you can’t even kiss that’s a deal breaker. They all think they’re God’s gift don’t they???
[–]Salt_SatisfactionFDS Apprentice9 points10 points11 points (0 children) | Copy Link
Oh I'm definitely going to ask them that now lol
[–]idiosyncrassyPickmeisha™️6 points7 points8 points (0 children) | Copy Link
You just tip them a quarter so they know you didn't forget
[–]notthatkindofdoctorbFDS Newbie2 points3 points4 points (0 children) | Copy Link
There's a funny SNL skit based on this theme. I think it's with Andy Samberg.
[–]QuodpotFDS Newbie1 point2 points3 points (0 children) | Copy Link
One of my friends said his mother told him this same thing about cooking, hahaha. People will tell you they love the food no matter what, but how many of them come back for seconds?
[–]radical__daphneRuthless Strategist189 points190 points191 points (4 children) | Copy Link
And her husband took loser scrote's side! She'll be divorced within 5 years. His loyalty is with some random man over her.
[–]the-cool-hedgehogFDS Newbie97 points98 points99 points (0 children) | Copy Link
Yeah, my red flag radar went off loudly there.
[–]MaisiebrFDS Apprentice67 points68 points69 points (1 child) | Copy Link
A random douchebag, no less. He still defends him while "Jack" went out of his way to embarrass his wife? It's just awful. I would have expected nothing less than telling the guy that he shouldn't be this disrespectful just because his confidence relies only on one thing.
[–]QuodpotFDS Newbie6 points7 points8 points (0 children) | Copy Link
Not just embarrassing her, but himself as well since he was just STANDING there, letting this dude say whatever disrespectful thing he wanted to his wife in front of everyone.
Why didn't he say something when the guy even asked the question in the first place? In what universe is it okay to ask someone something like that, even if their spouse isn't standing RIGHT there? What kind of friends are these? My male friends would never speak this disrespectfully about me or any other woman, because if they did, they just wouldn't be my friend anymore.
[–]dzgataFDS Disciple57 points58 points59 points (0 children) | Copy Link
He’ll also use this as an excuse to secretly despise her. No man is that comfortable with casually discussing a woman’s past, especially not publicly. Then if he cheats he’ll use this as some sort of a justification. Wow I really have a degree in scrote logic at this point.
[–]PillowFortressofDoomThrowaway Account48 points49 points50 points (0 children) | Copy Link
The big dick guy not knowing how to pleasure a woman is soooo common. This lady did this douche a favor. He needs to wake up and work on himself. He's been deafened by his dick size and bros slapping him on the back congratulating his use of women. He got what was coming to him.
[–]the-cool-hedgehogFDS Newbie89 points90 points91 points (7 children) | Copy Link
The worst sex I ever had was with a guy who was selling himself as a sex god as well. Now, if a man presents himself like that, that is a huge sign he most probably is completely the opposite.
[–]terribletimingtodayFDS Apprentice42 points43 points44 points (4 children) | Copy Link
If someone has to boast about something, chances are they're the opposite. The biggest red flag one I've heard is when someone says "I'm a good person" or something similar to that. You can bet they're not.
[–]GraveyardH2020FDS Newbie20 points21 points22 points (1 child) | Copy Link
Yep! Or “I’m a nice guy” - my personal fave when they are in fact not nice at all. No need to say it out loud if it’s true!
[–]terribletimingtodayFDS Apprentice11 points12 points13 points (0 children) | Copy Link
Absolutely! Your actions and your friends should say it for you.
For what it's worth I think these statements are just their toxic personality making a daily affirmation of what they wish was actually true.
[–]KristeninmyskinFDS Apprentice3 points4 points5 points (1 child) | Copy Link
“I hate drama!”
[–]terribletimingtodayFDS Apprentice2 points3 points4 points (0 children) | Copy Link
Oh yeah, I forgot about that one!
"I hate drama...from others because it uses space and time that my own drama could occupy instead"
[–]MaisiebrFDS Apprentice29 points30 points31 points (0 children) | Copy Link
Ugh, I had sex with a guy who was big and boasted about his good fingering skills. Umm, the fingering was awful. He even asked if I enjoyed it because everyone said they were. The girls probably pretended to so he would stop it sooner. The sex was like 2 minutes of jackhammering and him dropping a gallon of sweat on me and squishing my lungs out. He strutted without underwear for a good ten minutes before sex so I could see how lucky I was. Well yeah, I like a decently sized dick, but it isn't a magic orgasm wand by any means. You have to use it well.
[–]QuodpotFDS Newbie1 point2 points3 points (0 children) | Copy Link
The best sex I've ever had has been with guys who barely ever talk about it (except in the context of us discussing expectations, likes/dislikes, etc.)
Someone who treats sex like a game dehumanize their partners, and if someone is less than human in a person's mind, the automatic response is to not care about them or their experience. It's complete selfishness and leads to shitty sex, among other issues
[–]umbralgardenFDS Newbie39 points40 points41 points (0 children) | Copy Link
I had the exact same experience! Biggest penis I was ever with was the WORST at sex. Lights on no foreplay just pumping. Absolutely not interested in my pleasure. What's wrong with them?!? Size is useless on men.
[–]jeanneeebeanneeeFDS Apprentice32 points33 points34 points (0 children) | Copy Link
Jack got roasted and it sounds like he brought it on himself by bringing it up. If you want to have a public conversation/boasting session about all the girls you've fucked and then start calling them out in person, you have to be prepared to be met with equivalent candor. Especially if you're going to be so crass as to bring it up in front of a former hookup's spouse. Live and learn, Jack. (LOL, as if he's going to learn anything from this.)
[–]lival42FDS Newbie29 points30 points31 points (3 children) | Copy Link
We really need a Yelp! reviews structure for guys. My response to the “what’s your N number?” is to retort with “what’s your satisfaction rating?” And request references from previous relationships. Things get silent real quick - or go so off the rails a block&delete gets triggered.
[–]XiekoFDS Newbie10 points11 points12 points (0 children) | Copy Link
I love this. I always ask men who brag about a high n-count "how many of them are repeat customers though?"
[–]TheOGJammiesRuthless Strategist7 points8 points9 points (0 children) | Copy Link
LOL 🙌🙌
[–]flowers4uFDS Newbie2 points3 points4 points (0 children) | Copy Link
I just watched upload on prime and they have these system attached to the dating app.
[–]idiosyncrassyPickmeisha™️31 points32 points33 points (1 child) | Copy Link
A guy comes to a party, points out all the girls he fucked including the host, then demands an on-the-spot Yelp review from her in front of her husband, but OP's the one "being insensitive." Give me a break! LOL
[–]EquipoisonousFDS Newbie22 points23 points24 points (0 children) | Copy Link
Pick-mes cause this by acting like having a big dick means anything. To me a big dick means the guy is probably an asshole that thinks he’s a God in bed without trying.
[–][deleted] 19 points20 points21 points (1 child) | Copy Link
This reminds me of when I hooked up with a guy and straight up told him I wasn't going to see him again because he didn't make me cum when we had sex. He and his ding-a-ling were utterly deflated.
[–]QuodpotFDS Newbie2 points3 points4 points (0 children) | Copy Link
I finally finished from a ons for the first time last month and I'm not joking, it was the first time I ever finished from a hookup. We had sex twice and my friend literally made me cum more times than 2/3rds of my exes and every past hookup combined. I was kind of shocked tbh. I thought there was something wrong with me/my body for literal YEARS before this experience
[–]dzgataFDS Disciple16 points17 points18 points (3 children) | Copy Link
Bruh I just came back to read the story in full and the fact that her husband didn’t beat the shit out of him for disrespecting his wife like that baffles me. I mean even a typical Scrote would fight him out of jealousy. She’s married to a weirdo.
[–]CassieGreen85FDS Apprentice6 points7 points8 points (0 children) | Copy Link
Nah, she's married to a LVM, just doesn't know it unfortunately.
[–]christmasforoutlawsFDS Newbie13 points14 points15 points (0 children) | Copy Link
More men need to hear this tbh.
[–]hilariouslystatedFDS Newbie10 points11 points12 points (0 children) | Copy Link
Dick size will never be a real substitute for actually putting in work in the bedroom.
[–]bqluoeoednFDS Newbie10 points11 points12 points (0 children) | Copy Link
Unless he knows how to use his hips and undulate—all dude has is a hose and the standard 3-minute jackhammer.
He gets done faster than an egg.
I read 15-20 minutes and laughed.
[–]masterofthebarkartsFDS STRATEGY COACH11 points12 points13 points (0 children) | Copy Link
The more a man talks about his sexual prowess, the less you want to have sex with him.
All of the bad sex I had was with guys who talked about their dicks as if I would orgasm simply from awe at the sight of it.
[–]SaltKoalaFDS Newbie8 points9 points10 points (0 children) | Copy Link
I’m more mad at the husband than the docuhebag. She needs to drop him.
[–]DoeEyedBrownSkinFDS Newbie6 points7 points8 points (0 children) | Copy Link
Slow 👏🏻 clap 👏🏻 doing the lord’s work. 🙌🏻
[–]DivaPeachesFDS Newbie4 points5 points6 points (0 children) | Copy Link
I would be looking at the husband sideways if I was her...
[–]Gambit12345FDS Newbie6 points7 points8 points (0 children) | Copy Link
Can contend a big dick =/= great sex. This one guy I dated was 6 feet tall and had the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. He was a virgin, and the night we hooked up it wasn’t great. I chalked it up to him being inexperienced. The more we hooked up the more he just jackhammered me into oblivion. Was not open to constructive criticism. I had to literally tell him DON’T MOVE so I could do my thing on his pogo stick. Other guy bragged about hooking up with so many girls and when I hooked up with him I never came either. It’s like to them a high number=sex god😒
[–]Gaki-fan-too4 points5 points6 points (0 children) | Copy Link
That's why men don't want to be with women who has had a lot of sex. Because she can compare him to other men.
[–]jetpatchAt-Risk Pick Me Youth14 points15 points16 points (3 children) | Copy Link
Frankly it's funny women buy this lad act.
The husband obviously isn't threatened by this big dick guy in any way at all. He can tell he's a joke and a weakling. That's probably why he feels sorry for him.
[–]CassieGreen85FDS Apprentice8 points9 points10 points (1 child) | Copy Link
The husband told his wife SHE'S INSENSITIVE and took the side of this asshole, I don't care if "he feels sorry for him" or not, what LVM thing to do, take the side of a random slutty jerk instead of the person he supposedly loves and wants to grow old with.
[–]ImPiqued1111111FDS Newbie5 points6 points7 points (0 children) | Copy Link
The husband probably all of a sudden became very self conscious...
[–]QuodpotFDS Newbie0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
No. The husband is oblivious that this other dude is trying to lord it over him in this literal dick measuring contest. I've met and dated men like this before. They are literally oblivious, or they are intimidated by the guy's false show of confidence and either way, say nothing. Not the kind of man anyone needs, whatever the reason. This is actually a huge breach of trust by him.
Imagining this situation in reverse, I would get confrontational if a woman tried to pull this sort of disrespectful shit on me/my partner
[–]QuodpotFDS Newbie2 points3 points4 points (0 children) | Copy Link
He tried to pull a power move and it just completely backfired, lmfao 😂 Saying this shit not only in front of ALL their friends, but her husband as well. What a fucking loser, thought he could pressure her into going along with it. Glad she knocked him down a couple pegs, sounds like he sorely needed it
He's still pretty young at least - maybe he'll be more humble after this humiliating experience. Fucked up that the husband didn't even recognize this dude trying to embarrass him and his wife and turned belly up instead of defending her. Spineless. She can't trust him to stand up for her or her future children in the face of social pressure
[–][deleted] 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
why does it seem like he is overcompensating for some flaw he has