Trying to put FDS into practice. Critique me, ladies!

OrchidLion · 2020-07-06T15:48:51+00:00

"Thursday could work make a suggestion": You don't need to be the one suggesting the day.

When he says let's go out sometime, just say "I'd love to" and leave it at that. If he wants to make a date he will. If not he's trash. You don't need to push him to doing what you want.

And when he says "tonight?" Or last minute dates, just state your standards. Just say "I don't do last minute dates" and leave it at that.

All u need to do is state your standards and wait for him to obey or fuck off

Don't do the work for him, don't be passive aggressive and push for him to do or say anything

And ALWAYS be talking to More than one guy

ChocoBananza · 2020-07-06T10:35:49+00:00

Love your responses.

To be honest, I behave exactly like that guy (pre covid though, haven’t been out in a while), if I have a two hour opening in my schedule, I ring up a few people to see who’s free. The difference is though, I don’t do that with people I date, and especially not with people I’m genuinely interested in. Sorry to say this, but he sees you as nothing more than a pass time, and if sex falls out, even better.

To sum up, block and delete. You deserve better 👑

understatedalways · 2020-07-06T09:50:50+00:00

I block and delete instantly if a guy suggests I meet up that day with no notice. I just find it very low value. They don’t value your time.

Moonxtal · 2020-07-06T09:31:48+00:00

Jezzus...how hard is it to get a freaking date, time, and place from guys?

Like pulling teeth!

Love those smarky comebacks tho.

smarfette · 2020-07-06T12:14:17+00:00

Him asking to meet "tonight" should be an automatic NEXT. You're no last minute girl. Suggesting Thursday was doing too much work for him and you see how he got even lazier by expecting you to plan a date as if he's some prize.

virginiagirl27 · 2020-07-06T13:37:47+00:00

I ran into this problem so many times and have suffered from it. Usually might is a “I’m going to say no last minute”

ironymaiden87 · 2020-07-06T09:42:54+00:00

Fuck these assholes who want us to chase them.

The egg don't swim to the sperm, buddy, especially if that sperm is weak as fuck!

You're doing well but this guy sounds not worth even one date, I'd unmatch tbh!

Extreme-Vermicelli · 2020-07-06T09:53:41+00:00

I am on the verge of deleting. He replied with a block of text about work and why Thursday is a "might". Then called my raincheck a "Godesque" prediction as he is away for the weekend 🙄

Parking-Act · 2020-07-06T16:54:27+00:00

We should "meet up" NEXT! he should be using the word date. Meetup is for activities with friends or colleagues.

"How about tonight" even worse. He wants you to drop everything for him or to see how desperate you are. NEXXXXTT!

"Thursday might be possible" he'll text early Thursday morning saying he can't make it.

Block and delete. Please.

lonelybones1 · 2020-07-06T09:57:00+00:00

If he was HV he'd care about punctuation and grammar. What this guy is showing is low effort.

warinmymind94 · 2020-07-06T19:50:06+00:00

"Let's meetup sometime?" What is he 14 years old? 🤭 I'm so done with guys that cant make plans. "Meetup" nah bro. How hard it ot for him to say something "hey I was wondering if you are free Saturday night after 6? Theres an italian restuarant in town id like to take you to dinner there." Until he can ask something like that dont bother. Red flags of "let's meetup sometime" and the last minute bs of "tonight" are waving high! I'm so sick of these guys that are super low effort and refuse to plan anything and arent capable of picking an actual place for a date (restaurant, movie, museum, event, etc)
You handled it well but hes already shown you the red flags so I'd just be done with it now.

devoushka · 2020-07-06T17:50:21+00:00

I had a guy ask me to hang out, and when I asked what he'd like to do he said "not sure." Sigh, unmatch. You're either braindead or fully expecting me to plan everything out. It's easier for me to just stay home and do a face mask.

curlygirl507 · 2020-07-06T22:49:08+00:00

Has anyone on here actually had a guy on a dating app ask them on a proper date in the last year?

RiteWriter · 2020-07-06T10:38:11+00:00

Lmao I love the last line

Raincheck ain’t gonna get cashed, buddy

miwamus · 2020-07-06T14:28:47+00:00

I love real examples, so thank you for sharing. I'd dump this guy though. He's shown you his a LVM.

PretzeIs · 2020-07-07T01:15:10+00:00

I've decided any time I have to baby a man into arranging an appropriate date, it's a false start and I ditch him.

Also, if they try to act super interested by asking a shit-fuck-ton of questions without suggesting a date, to me they're just trying to get to know you cheaply and with ZERO actual effort. Just the illusion that they're putting effort in. Anyone have better advice than what I'm currently doing? (Block and move on)

confused_desklamp · 2020-07-06T13:13:58+00:00

lol at "make a suggestion?" and he didn't get back to you until a whole day later! great job implementing this. It's nice to see it done assertively without giving them any room to say you're being rude!

isv1234 · 2020-07-06T12:36:50+00:00

I love the last time, but I wouldn’t have even suggested a day in the first place tbh

Extreme-Vermicelli · 2020-07-07T10:49:26+00:00

I slept on it, and deleted this morning. Ain't nobody got time for dat!

penhasink · 2020-07-06T12:49:21+00:00

No need to talk more, not a good start from either side

daisy_0720 · 2020-07-06T15:04:46+00:00

This is Bumble, isn't it? I hate the fact that so many men have interpreted the 'women initiate first contact' policy less as 'this is safer for women' and more 'I can sit around on my backside and do nothing while she plans all the dates.'

Your responses were great. Polite but to the point.

NinoEmines · 2020-07-06T13:47:39+00:00

As I'm inexperienced af and don't know witty comebacks on the spot, this is great inspiration sis I"m taking notes

West-Cook · 2020-07-06T17:42:49+00:00

I like your first response lolll. I would have ghosted him after that burn.

That said, Since you did continue... instead of saying “Thursday could work” I would have said something like “Right now my schedule is open on Thursday and Saturday,” and actually given him a couple of nights I’d really be free to give him a legitimate chance at working with my schedule; to me. if I don’t want a wishy washy response, I’m not going to be wishy washy when I’m communicating at him.

I wouldn’t have said “make a suggestion?” Because that’s leading him to the water... HVM would automatically assume he’s making the suggestion, so would build that into his response.

Otherwise, good job and setting your boundaries!

Equipoisonous · 2020-07-06T19:24:52+00:00

Can I piggyback on this since I have a similar issue?

Been talking to a guy on tinder today. He is responding to every message like kind of weirdly fast, like within seconds seemingly. Is that a red flag? I'll take half an hour or longer to respond and every time he replies instantly.

Anyway,

Him: Would you like to have a drink with me sometime?

Me: Sure how about tomorrow?

Him: I'm down.

Him (after I didn't reply): What time you feeling?

The "I'm down" instead of making a plan, and the bad grammar is really bothering me.

m00n5t0n3 · 2020-07-06T14:25:10+00:00

Hmm I have no notes lol !

loveselephants · 2020-07-06T21:20:32+00:00

This would have been my response after the first text:

"That could be nice. What did you have in mind? I think I have some flexibility coming this week."

2020-07-06T15:42:50+00:00

You’re doing good, sis! But I recommend you forget him and unmatch with him. Also, I strongly believe Bumble is one of the worst apps for narcissistic men, because the woman has to message first. LV/NV men LOVE to be chased after and barely do any chasing, if at all. Then again, all the dating sites/apps are chock full of low and no value men.

SmoothDaikon · 2020-07-06T20:18:45+00:00

That response is so perfect. I'm definitely using it. :)

keep_my_stuff · 2020-07-07T10:47:48+00:00

I think nothing good ever came out of interacting with people who don't type out the question mark at the end of a question. May be just me, but it screams lazy and low energy.

silentwatcherAcb · 2020-07-26T21:33:24+00:00

I had a guy suggest drinks, and when I replied with ‘sure 🥰’ he told me to pick a place, date and time, and he’d “try to show up somewhat on time”. Long story short it was a simple block and delete.

coolestgirlyoueverme · 2020-07-06T20:34:39+00:00

I think you did great.

We should not block-out time in our schedule for uncomfirmed plans. I did the same thing when my friends asked me to hangout on a day that some dude from OLD wanted to meet up (but did not confirm a time and place). The evening before he reached out and I was like sorry already made plans, wasn't sure if you confirmed or not. He failed to make proper plans ahead of time after this, so I just blocked him with zero explanation.

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