Line up guys....

Wumplin · 2021-05-14T17:46:28+00:00

I don't like arguing

Doubt

tango-01 · 2021-05-14T17:51:54+00:00

All this list of requirements, and a flat earther?! She better start searching globally.

Shiny_Snorlax_1961 · 2021-05-14T17:57:07+00:00

This must be satire, no way that list is legitimate.

tw1nm3t30r · 2021-05-14T17:49:38+00:00

Fucking hell, it's like applying to work at NASA with all those requirements.

GanjaToker408 · 2021-05-14T17:50:35+00:00

Besides the obvious red flags, why would anyone want to date someone who doesn't believe in basic science? If the earth were flat, the satellites that allow the GPS on her phone to work would not be possible. What an idiot.

Typo-MAGAshiv · 2021-05-14T18:13:52+00:00

flat earther

Forget that the ancient Greeks proved and knew that the earth was a globe. Forget all the science and math that have confirmed it since then.

The best refutation of flat earth:

cats would have knocked everything off the edge by now.

I am...smart...

Considering all the errors in formatting, spelling, diction, and grammar that follow, along with the fact that you're a fucking flat earther, no the fuck you aren't.

body count cant [sic] be higher than one (to be equal)

must not have a [sic] ex girlfriend [sic] that is prettier than me

Better target virgins. You already admitted to being "curvy" so we're 90% certain that you're fat.

must be expert in chaka chaka

That's Jamaican pidgin/patois for being shoddy, ramshackle, or of inferior quality. So you want your man to be an expert in you?

has to be super smart

There goes your hope of finding a flat earther. Retard.

doesn't talk back

Are you looking for a husband or a goddamn slave?!

does whatever I say

That answers my previous question.

doesn't look at other girls AT ALL

OK, amend "slave" to "eunuch". She seeks a eunuch.

It's funny, too, because any guy who matches her demands is going to be very unattractive to her, and she'll mistreat him as a result of her lack of attraction/arousal. Women don't get wet for neutered doormats, and that's what she's asking for.

UI_Riven · 2021-05-14T17:51:30+00:00

There are at best 1000 men that meet her requirements in the entire world...

WritingReadingReddit · 2021-05-14T18:22:30+00:00

I'm looking for a young petit Asian girl with huge tits who wears heels and a maid uniform all day and gives me head in between cooking and cleaning the house.

For some reason, I haven't received many replies to my post yet.

yellomachine · 2021-05-14T17:49:39+00:00

I don't like arguing.......

Because my idea is obviously dumb. Can we get her to strap herself to a rocket, to prove her theory?

GrannyLesbian · 2021-05-14T18:14:24+00:00

She needs to go to Target and steal a mannequin then put a Qanon shirt on it.

Anonymous_fiend · 2021-05-14T18:23:58+00:00

When will she figure out guys who are smart & attractive aren't looking for a single mom to marry. There might not even be a single guy who fits these requirements much less one that wants her.

Alpha_9 · 2021-05-14T21:07:56+00:00

Smart

Single Mother

Choose one, you dumb bitch.

retal1ator · 2021-05-14T19:39:37+00:00

What the fuck is Chaka Chaka? Lmao

Groundbreaking_Tax52 · 2021-05-14T17:58:44+00:00

I hope this is an elaborate troll and satire, in which case it’s pretty funny. However, it’s definitely not...

TotallyPostal · 2021-05-14T18:38:41+00:00

She doesnt want a man, she wants a house slave.

Past-Difficulty6785 · 2021-05-14T18:47:39+00:00

She wants a dog, not a "partner".

1Supersnapper · 2021-05-14T18:37:05+00:00

That’s more red flags than Chinese communist parade.

shirsalino · 2021-05-14T17:58:14+00:00

smart

No

TheNewGuest · 2021-05-14T19:28:28+00:00

"must be super smart"

"must be a flat earther"

Both of these things can't be true at the same time though...

Phai_H · 2021-05-14T19:14:36+00:00

Doesn’t have friends of the opposite sex...guess I can’t hang out with my family members at all.

Seriously though, anytime you see a laundry list such as this, run for the hills ASAP.

ronoda12 · 2021-05-14T19:18:46+00:00

Stopped reading at single mother.

Dipdrizzle · 2021-05-14T20:08:27+00:00

Chaka Chaka?

Waka waka waka!

tokixdoki · 2021-05-14T19:21:48+00:00

ima take her hiking, see how flat the earth feels

lorum_ipsum_dolor · 2021-05-14T23:28:05+00:00

Must live in Texas (no e dating)

Does she not realize how insanely big Texas is?

From what I understand, when someone there says, "It's down the road a bit" they could be talking about a 4 hour drive!

Edit: Expanded my thoughts

One-Move · 2021-05-15T01:52:56+00:00

How does supersmart and flat earth go together?

aztucsonpcc · 2021-05-15T02:37:26+00:00

Has to be super smart. Must be a flat earther.

They're mutually exclusive! Good luck finding that man.

Edit: finding, not funding.

Cybernetic_Phantom · 2021-05-14T18:08:34+00:00

List be looking like requirements for a sex slave in ancient greece

kew05gp · 2021-05-14T19:09:59+00:00

If this is a joke, then it's a great one. If it's real life, then it's really a telling sign of end of the world. A complete useless worthless wasted pos.

pewdsxtseries · 2021-05-14T19:29:02+00:00

She want smart AND flat earther

Ok-Adeptness4906 · 2021-05-14T21:01:36+00:00

7,500,000,000 people on the planet. 1/2 men = 3,750,000,000. 2/3rds. adults = 2,475,000,000. Number of adult men that meet all her criteria = 0. She certainly has narrowed down the field....

madriverdog · 2021-05-14T21:12:17+00:00

Presents huge list of things to argue about...

"Doesn't like arguing"

LOL

rockdude625 · 2021-05-14T19:24:13+00:00

Jesus H Christ, Im simply speechless at this one, the horror....

Old_snowboarder · 2021-05-14T19:31:38+00:00

If she's 'smart' then how come she doesn't realise that being fat (curvy) isn't good for your long term future?

I suspect she's one of those dangerous people who aren't clever enough to realise how stupid they are.

Pemrocks · 2021-05-14T20:12:17+00:00

Is anyone really truly an expert in Chaka Chaka?

_KNZ_ · 2021-05-14T22:31:23+00:00

Whst the hell is a "chaka chaka"?

thedukeinc · 2021-05-15T00:23:43+00:00

“Must not have a ex prettier than me”.. M’lady did you ever think this may be a tall order?

Obnoxiousjimmyjames · 2021-05-15T02:57:58+00:00

I want to date her, just so I can make a new, female friend that is dramatically better looking than her... just to watch her meltdown.

After she's exhausted from tantrum-ing, I'll be like, "Baby. I'm supha-smaaat, with big lips and I do whatever you say." As I open my pornhub account, and start watching X Rated videos as she starts tantrum Round 2.

geyejoe7 · 2021-05-15T06:18:29+00:00

So she's:

a mom
clearly dumb
entitled
jealous but doesn't want jealousy back

CartNip · 2021-05-15T00:29:22+00:00

Ima call fake

Chgralac73 · 2021-05-14T19:13:11+00:00

why would Eddie Bravo want this chick :P besides he has more trouble keeping his BJJ places open after corona

SentientApe · 2021-05-14T19:25:03+00:00

Jfc....... Talk about red flags.... This is bigger than what they used to hang over the Kremlin.

redveinlover · 2021-05-14T19:31:40+00:00

Ok so, must be attractive, but can’t have dated attractive people in the past. Which says what about you? You prefer ugly chicks? I think this broad is pretty confused about what she wants, but thinks she has her type totally figured out.

GambleEvrything4Love · 2021-05-14T19:33:01+00:00

No way this is real… Somebody stipulates who your past partners are… Somebody has pushed a partner to go back to your ex already it seems…

Beneficial-Champion2 · 2021-05-14T19:38:26+00:00

Super funny. You’re not kidding. I found this dumpster fire hilarious.

jor4288 · 2021-05-14T19:52:20+00:00

This has to be a joke!

niks2592 · 2021-05-14T19:59:49+00:00

Has to be super smart but has to be flat earther,, that means he doesn't exist at least on this planet.. Lol

bgovern · 2021-05-14T20:00:25+00:00

Sigh.... The number of these where you can't tell whether it's satire or not it's getting higher every week. I hope this was poor attempt at humor.

prats0027 · 2021-05-14T20:05:27+00:00

One more girl that is going to remain single for her entire life!

Joaquino7997 · 2021-05-14T20:14:48+00:00

She's looking for a yes man with a backbone.

What do you know? An oxymoron from a moron!

JakeDC · 2021-05-14T20:24:52+00:00

This has to be a joke.

AmbitiousHornet · 2021-05-14T20:47:16+00:00

A truly strange and impossible to satisfy list of requirements. Her chance of finding an eligible candidate? Buy a cat and die alone.

SuperVeryDumbPerson · 2021-05-14T21:08:36+00:00

The last requirement kinda explains all the other ones

SquirtBurt · 2021-05-14T21:48:54+00:00

“Smart.” Can’t even type using proper spacing of the commas in the same sentence.

etherith · 2021-05-14T22:08:11+00:00

what... the... FUCK ?????????!!!!!!!!!!

jamrocklion · 2021-05-14T22:10:36+00:00

This has to be a fuckin joke. Lol has to be!

Zombeflandrs · 2021-05-14T22:24:25+00:00

She can buy a door mat at Home Depot. Why is she looking for one on OLD?

Devilsgun · 2021-05-14T23:07:01+00:00

Blah Blah Blah either your standards will drop by 95-97% within 5 years or you're on the road to box wine, Netflix, and a lot of cats

pdiggs1500 · 2021-05-14T23:12:40+00:00

Holy fuck!

Tyred_Biggums · 2021-05-14T23:14:20+00:00

Super smart and a flat earther? Does not compute.

coloradocaniac · 2021-05-14T23:17:35+00:00

"curvy"

"No overweight"

Silence, fatling.

And the rest of it is so oblivious it belongs on Failures in Dating and Society.

SwiftStrik3 · 2021-05-14T23:21:46+00:00

So a doormat basically

CoachPRIPecho · 2021-05-14T23:33:27+00:00

The person she is looking for is in a mental institution and awaits her ther for a couple of months.

Blogginginvicecity · 2021-05-15T00:09:33+00:00

Fuck this chick, looking for men who don't know they don't have to put up with this sort of abuse.

Gaiinahat · 2021-05-15T00:11:48+00:00

Her kid is in for a rough life...

PMmeyourexgirlfriend · 2021-05-15T00:25:31+00:00

Is this a joke? It did sound pretty funny

Mouad69 · 2021-05-15T00:29:47+00:00

Curvy =fat

Rinku_No_Mae · 2021-05-15T01:16:39+00:00

A mother?

Walks away....

Justaguywhoistrying · 2021-05-15T01:16:51+00:00

Lady you’re a single mom. The only thing that should be on your checklist is a warm body

DKS6 · 2021-05-15T02:45:25+00:00

Don’t be overweight. Don’t be buff.

...what?

killindice · 2021-05-15T03:15:17+00:00

This bitch is lookin for a dog

NickTesla2018 · 2021-05-15T03:57:10+00:00

Flat earther? Like that flat head?

BambooRoots · 2021-05-15T04:38:40+00:00

Good god, that's a red flag convention right there

SaphirePrincess · 2021-05-15T05:42:53+00:00

This has to be a troll. I NEED to believe this isn't real...

Big-Improvement4310 · 2021-05-15T08:20:46+00:00

Looks like she is going to find a partner then. Who wants to deal with her anyway?

TANQspray · 2021-05-15T08:33:39+00:00

I believe in Hollow Earth and King Kong vs Godzilla proved it. How can the Earth be flat if it’s Hollow? Anyway she’s clearly not the girl for me then.

PristinePudding · 2021-05-15T08:39:35+00:00

Was going to say its a joke post but those usually dont get pictures attached. Can still hope

DonDorcha · 2021-05-15T09:19:43+00:00

This unicorn doesn't exist. She wants a super smart, scrawny flat earther,with big lips and preferably no exes who doesn't chat back and can't ever stare at other women. She can't be serious 🤣

kkkirakkk · 2021-05-15T10:29:03+00:00

Dude what the hell haha. I can’t believe this is real. I wanna know who this girl is

Sinestro617 · 2021-05-15T10:57:30+00:00

This has to be trolling right?

vivab0rg · 2021-05-15T11:40:10+00:00

Nice shopping list from la-la-land you got there.

unified_masking_tape · 2021-05-15T16:25:12+00:00

What's that thing women say when they're just stunned. Oh, right,

"I can't even."

Neldot · 2021-05-15T21:16:30+00:00

I'd bet the pretenders line will be long over the line of the horizon.

Oops... My mistake, the horizon doesn't apply here, flat earth...

meerita · 2021-05-15T21:17:23+00:00

Lo siento Karina, gigachad se está culeando a otra por el momento.

Mister_McDerp · 2021-05-16T13:33:55+00:00

OH COME ON THIS CAN'T BE REAL

No_Exercise_8670 · 2021-05-16T17:05:07+00:00

I have a good idea from this one. Men should start putting body count requirements in their OLD profiles. She would have to either be a decent woman in that regard or lie, which puts additional pressure on her. And it also might be found out.

Seriously we should be much more vocal about our standards! I seriously believe that if I would have stated that requirement to couple of my exes it would have saved much time.

PATRIMONEY · 2021-05-17T12:39:18+00:00

Lol this one’s gold

Phillipsluke · 2021-05-25T00:33:24+00:00

What's chaka chaka?

GhostofMonk83 · 2021-05-30T05:16:54+00:00

Il bet my notch count at 38 is lower than hers ar 25

sdwdqw65 · 2021-05-31T13:38:37+00:00

So I guess that kid will grow up thinking the earth is flat

Title	Line up guys....
Author	Sake99
Upvotes	715
Comments	147
Date	May 14, 2021 5:42 PM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/WhereAreAllTheGoodMen
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/WhereAreAllTheGoodMen/comments/nceeow/line_up_guys/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/WhereAreAllTheGoodMen/line-up-guys.775842 https://theredarchive.com/post/775842

Comments

cats would have knocked everything off the edge by now.