Men have unwanted sex with women in order to conform to gender expectations and to avoid uncomfortable interactions finds new research by an NYU sociologist.

iainmf · 2017-11-29T07:59:37+00:00

Moreover, it seems that women, as arbitrators of men's sense of self, may play an important role in policing masculinity and upholding gender expectations, at least in undergraduate sexual cultures.

Women are the patriarchy!

rainman206 · 2017-11-29T03:14:55+00:00

I've done that. Most men have, I'd imagine.

McFeely_Smackup · 2017-11-29T04:19:18+00:00

After having been in both college, and the U.S. Army, fully half of the women I've had sex with are ones I actively did not want to do anything with, but was subject to peer pressure, fear of rejection danger, and having my sexuality questioned.

iainmf · 2017-11-29T03:06:42+00:00

Is this victim blaming?

Perhaps the research shows women use shame and social aggression to get sex from unwilling men.

Spoonwood · 2017-11-29T03:49:04+00:00

I mean, it couldn't be because she's a rapist now, could it?

Proteus_Marius · 2017-11-29T06:34:05+00:00

I don't tend to review sociology research much in general, so I may be off a bit here but ...

A sample size of less than 50 should have a conclusion that is vastly overwhelmed by notes for further study - just sayin'
Only about 25% of the sample males were "drunk" when they engaged in this unwanted activity. And as we all know, one drunk male is exactly the same as all other drunk males (/s). Conclude as you will, I guess.
The study completely dismisses the everyday fact of the dynamics of male rape in our lovely, private enterprise prisons for profit

Perhaps the professor didn't intend to be entirely general with her conclusions. Is the extension to prison behavior too much to expect?

JFMX1996 · 2017-11-29T11:06:50+00:00

To be honest, cases like these are what I feel less for. No one forced you to do shit at that point. At the end of the day it was you and your decisions.

I'm more concerned about bringing awareness to these false rape accusations going on left and right, misandry in the media, abusing boys from a young age to feminize them and to fit the narrative of making the two genders more and more androgenous.

HeForeverBleeds · 2017-11-29T06:20:55+00:00

That was pretty much my entire sex life in high school: hooking up for bad or mediocre sex with women I wasn't even interested in just because otherwise my "friends" would mock me for not getting laid or out of fear that if I said "no" the girl would spread rumors about me supposedly having a small dick or being bad in bed or something

It's one of the many problems with forcing gender stereotypes upon people. Similar to how some guys will put up with abuse because they're told "real men" should be able to take it. And similar how people shame men / boys who are sexually abused by women, saying things like "no guy would be bothered by sex with a woman"

-AcodeX · 2017-11-29T11:39:01+00:00

I woke up with a hangover to find my SO at the time having sex with me. I didn't want to bang at the moment with that splitting headache and nausea, but I did my best and had probably the worst orgasm of my life.

I would have said no and had her stop, but it would have hurt her feelings. It was always a big sad deal if I didn't want sex with her.

splodgenessabounds · 2017-11-29T03:29:34+00:00

You can't say this isn't cutting-edge research... wait, I just did.

Spoonwood · 2017-11-29T03:53:03+00:00

Also, isn't 'unwanted sex' an 'uncomfortable interaction'? If so, how are they avoiding an uncomfortable interaction?

5th_Law_of_Robotics · 2017-11-29T13:08:18+00:00

Hey feminists, want to weigh in on this rape culture? No? Ok then.

What about beating women over the head with "if he isn't enthusiastically, constantly, and vocally saying yes while totally sober it's rape"?

No, not interested in that either? Alrighty.

skankerhunt42 · 2017-11-29T10:32:52+00:00

I kinda lol'd

: My findings indicate men are motivated to have unwanted sex through a process where they try to avoid embarrassing themselves or their partner and seek to behave in interpretable ways. In particular, men consent to unwanted sex because accepting all opportunities for sexual activity is a widely accepted way to perform masculinity.”

"Motivated to have unwanted sex."... Could I apply that to women? "Motivated to have unwanted sex?" Why interpret that as something other than rape? The boy had unwanted sex (ie he was raped) should equal "she had unwanted sex" (ie she was raped).

Googlesnarks · 2017-11-29T15:17:39+00:00

oh yeah I've definitely done this.

I mean, you bring a girl back to wherever you're going to do it and she gets naked and now you're not attracted to her, it's a huge dick move to shut her down right before the finish line.

... I do typically perform sub optimally in these situations though.

3-10 · 2017-11-29T07:52:35+00:00

It's how I ended up with a child with a complete witch. I got stuck at her place due to an ice storm and didn't have condoms. She assured me it would be fine, but she was really pressuring me to have sex with her. I didn't want a fight, so I gave in. A couple of days later, she went nuts on me. So I just blocked out out of my life, 3 weeks later I found out she was pregnant. Created 2 years of hell that isn't done.

The bright side is soon I should have my daughter if things continue as they have been.

2017-11-29T07:42:51+00:00

Look at all the deleted tweets...

Wow. Just. Wow

PeasantSteve · 2017-11-29T10:59:07+00:00

Does doing this to seem straight count? If so then #metoo

danielmd92 · 2017-11-29T12:46:52+00:00

Why have so many comments been removed from that thread? FFS is this so "toxic" to people or what? Wonder what was removed...

JRDTV · 2017-11-29T14:46:10+00:00

I'm not surprised by this finding, I fell victim to this type of activity with my ex as a teen, she wanted to have sex all the time, I had sex with her to essentially shut her up at least 1/4 of the time. But I'd say this is more anecdotal evidence, 39 men they talked to reported unwanted sex. That's all they say, 39 out of how many? 39 people isn't enough information to make a proper societal diagnosis of pathological behavior. Not criticizing the fact that men have unwanted sex, I'm criticizing the information collecting process because we can't know how endemic this problem is if they don't do the work in collecting sufficient information. If you're going to bother doing a social experiment that you're going to write and publish a report about, then make it worth wild, collect info from 10000 individuals and then publish your findings. Maybe Reddit would be a good place to pose that questions, there's over 100,000 readers on this sub alone that cater to mostly men, probably. So how many of you have fell victim to unwanted sex?

Spoonwood · 2017-11-29T15:58:04+00:00

Notably, only eight out of 39 men reported being intoxicated when they had unwanted sex.

Yet NOT a single one of them seems to have gotten classified as a rape victim. What does that tell you?

Ted8367 · 2017-11-29T08:24:05+00:00

sex with women

Someone's got to do it.

josiasx · 2017-11-29T10:37:57+00:00

Women have a tendency to attack and taunt, sexually. Putting men in the position that the only way we can retain our dignity, is to bend them over. They don't seem to get how often they start all this shit.

2017-11-29T13:44:35+00:00

I've only had Shame once from sex and that was just because I should have not thought with my dick and stayed away since she's a nasty piece of work from a trashy city. Nothing like this, I just should have used the right head in that situation. Slight regret, just glad I didn't come out with any STD's, so I had that going for me. I was more willing participant in sex, if they were attractive I'd do them. I just liked sleeping around, and the thrill of travel and meeting random women. The only one I was pushed on for was an ugly one, but I didn't let pressure force me to do anything. I just flat out said "no", even got into fights over it with friends. Oh well, my life not yours.

Lethn · 2017-11-29T15:56:02+00:00

“Although women experience a higher burden of sexual assault and harassment, heterosexual men also report unwanted sex,”

I know I shouldn't be so focused on this type of thing as this isn't what the article is about, but the way feminists always start off with this line in order to justify dismissing men's issues pisses me off. It seems to be everywhere lately the more people try to talk about men's issues "But! but! Woman on male violence is so rare!", mind you, perhaps I should be grateful that we've gone from them outright denying that it even exists to claiming it's too rare for them to care about.

westerhenderson · 2017-11-29T17:23:54+00:00

This is interesting.

TigPlaze · 2017-11-29T20:49:41+00:00

Been there, done that. I've had sex with a girlfriend who became gross just to avoid hurting her feelings. Never again.

4angrydragons · 2017-11-29T04:35:05+00:00

We’ve all taken our fair share of ugly girls.

chambertlo · 2017-11-29T08:31:14+00:00

This is what happens when you are a beta male and allow this shit to dictate your life. A real man makes the rules. He doesn’t conform to shit other men expect from you.

minorwhite · 2017-11-29T10:01:19+00:00

I am currently having this problem. The landlord at my Airbnb wants me to fuck her. She has said so in no uncertain terms. She is moderately attractive, but she is also my landlord. I am really not wanting to do this, primarily because I have never been with a woman as old as that (she is 42). I also know I am being a bit weird as I am 49, but I look like I might be in my 30's. I am quite used to WAY younger women. I really don't know why I cannot get into it.

Title	Men have unwanted sex with women in order to conform to gender expectations and to avoid uncomfortable interactions finds new research by an NYU sociologist.
Author	rocko7927
Upvotes	903
Comments	209
Date	November 29, 2017 2:48 AM UTC (8 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/MensRights
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/MensRights/comments/7g9wdt/men_have_unwanted_sex_with_women_in_order_to/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/MensRights/men-have-unwanted-sex-with-women-in-order-to.910258 https://theredarchive.com/post/910258

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