Anyone win her back?

crypto_keeper88 · 2023-05-19T14:44:23+00:00

There is no winning as this isn’t a game and you can’t force someone to love you. She’s gone and you must find a way to move on.

Sea-Mission-6316 · 2023-05-19T15:38:09+00:00

It's over. Women are several steps ahead of their husbands by the time they say it. In some cases, they have been planning it for years. Their grieving is done (if they even cared to begin with). Time to go to battle so you come out the other side in as good of shape as possible. Keep things to yourself and don't talk to your now adversary about your game plan. Lawyer up and fight for what you want your future to be. Take care of yourself and your kids if you have them. Sorry you find yourself in this place.

stent00 · 2023-05-19T19:55:49+00:00

Never bring the garbage back inside once it's at the curb...

chunckyd · 2023-05-19T18:24:43+00:00

Once they are done they are done. Unless they are desperate and need to USE YOU for something, they won’t be back they have moved on. Sorry.

Reflog1791 · 2023-05-19T16:39:59+00:00

Married red pill subreddit has lots of guys trying to win her back with this. In my opinion, juice ain’t worth the squeeze when your spouse starts talking about risking the children’s future to find their happiness. The grey rock 180 method is very effective at reducing risk of false dv claims, other shenanigans, and wasting money in court.

yosemitesam00 · 2023-05-19T19:25:54+00:00

"It is always time and effort better spent developing new, fresh, prospective women than it will ever be in attempting to reconstruct a failed relationship."

-Tomassi's iron rule #7

aray0220 · 2023-05-19T19:48:47+00:00

They turn into a prize not worth "winning" once they decide to leave.

Accomplished-Toe5220 · 2023-05-19T20:08:08+00:00

They only way to "win her back" is to have her come crawling back and at that point you need to have "Upgreydd"... So good luck buddy.

david10277 · 2023-05-19T23:39:18+00:00

Shes been gone months ago , even years.. Your just seeing it now.

You dont fight for people to wish to leave.. let them go..

You need to accept that..

deenath247 · 2023-05-20T01:16:56+00:00

Biggest regret and mistake I made was asking her to come back first time she left me ( pre kids). 13 years ago.

Applying logic to the situation It was either a power play to get you to change as a person or become subservient. Either way it’s just a train crash waiting to happen. Salvage what remains of your life and move on.

You will always remember this period in your mind. can you ever forget and forgive how you felt and how were discarded like disposable trash.

WIn her back with what? High price to be paid - Losing your dignity, self respect and worth. Can you ever trust broken marriage wows.

The only caveat to this. You were horrible drinking, neglecting, gambling, cheating and emotionally detached yourself.

If you were a good husband , worked hard, scarificed and did your best. Then don’t look backwards, look forward to better days ahead.

Whatever you decide be happy with your choice… and it is a choice. Just like the decision to marry. Marriage is simply contractual in nature. Other person decided to negate on the contract.

Objective_Problem_90 · 2023-05-20T06:52:54+00:00

Nope, because the hard thing about this, the moment she wants to leave, she's already made the decision weeks ago. She is fine with it, you mean nothing to her and she might have someone else lined up. The exact month my divorce was finalized, 6 months to the day I requested, she already had another guy move into the house we had built together. If she has told you she doesn't want you, believe it and move on, no matter what history you have with her, she's done with you. Why fight for that?

Mental-Concert8608 · 2023-05-19T18:37:02+00:00

I really hate those pitty posts here! Man, it is over that is why you are divorced! Deal with it. There are almost certainly better options out there for you. Also, get comfortable in solitude, it is the best that can happen to you. You won't NEED someone! Your live will be so much better. Find something that you like to do (reading books, fishing, riding the bike, motorcycling (DIRT BIKE), hiking (in the mountains it's much better, if it is flat call it strolling). Don't try to keep your brain occupied (make you numb), that is just avoiding reality. Be present in the moment. Also, don't try to be out every day and night, play video games or watch TikTok's (everything in front of a screen will make you feel lonely because you aren't connected to the world or yourself).

Honestly, I like my single live much better then my live with my ex. Nobody tells me what to do (clean up, bring out the trash), no more seeing her mom (nothing wrong with her but I like to meet people that give me energy vs sucking my energy). Nobody yells at me.

n4l8tr · 2023-05-19T22:19:30+00:00

Depends on your definition…we are about 1 1/2 years into rebuilding. It’s infinitely better than 2 years ago our low point. What do you want to know? Lots of anger, lots of hurt, lots of sleeping alone, moved out to the guest house, did a lot of searching, tried something’s, failed at others, just couldn’t get past the hump so to speak. It’s been a bit slow but we are definitely making progress together. Fwiw it’s been very hard. In another 5 years I might be able to say whether it’s worth it. I think everyone’s situation is unique. As far as win her back…I had to approach things differently and so did she. We both brought significant baggage and years of pain to our relationship and neglect. Both are physicians with a special needs child. We got lost in there and Covid amplified it times 1,000. Anyway I’ll answer what I can.

ABBucsfan · 2023-05-19T20:34:28+00:00

I feel once they're at that point you have to ask if you want them back, since they can't appreciate you for who you are. Obviously different if you majorly screwed up somehow, like cheating. If you were constantly trying to console them or appease them heck no though. Feels like just asking for them to rub your nose in it and spending years trying to somehow earn their good graces, which is a losing game.

I'm happy to be wrong though and I personally tried to make things right to the bitter end because that's the right thing to do, even if you are pretty sure.how it's gonna end. Made my vows and had kids. Didn't want to let her go with any questions that I could have done more to preserve the marriage, live up to my end of the vows, and raise my kids in an intact family. My conscience was clear when she decided she was done. Just wasn't willing to even move and inch to meet me part way. I left everything on the table

Coffeguy649 · 2023-05-19T22:11:40+00:00

It’s over, we were going through separation last summer, got back together after 3 months. Now we are going through it again, and she has kept my kids away from me for over 120 days.

Don’t let her come back.

robertstone123456 · 2023-05-22T00:13:15+00:00

No. She’s been gone, months maybe even a year or two. Only time they’ll want to come back is if they’re struggling financially or you’re just there plan B or C. It’ll suck at first, but you’ll be 10x better off without her.

Mjolnir37 · 2023-05-22T02:07:00+00:00

Why would you want her back?

No_Application_2807 · 2023-05-22T05:08:05+00:00

Maybe it was mutual and he regrets it? It’s tough to be lonely!

Jbr74 · 2023-05-22T13:34:54+00:00

Thankfully no, but I am ashamed to say I went full retard and tried.

Title	Anyone win her back?
Author	Hour-Regret9531
Upvotes	4
Comments	43
Date	May 19, 2023 1:57 PM UTC (3 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/13lw77m/anyone_win_her_back/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/anyone-win-her-back.1219748 https://theredarchive.com/post/1219748

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