When I was a kid my Father would routinely yell and be verbally shitty to my Mother. I hated it. I hated seeing a weak woman (she had MS) and had no choice but to be verbally shit upon. When I met my wife I told her about all of this and I promised her I would never do the same. 21 years later and she got me to such a point of anger, hurt, disbelief that I raised my voice to her. I'm sure some guys on here would have laid into her. Below is the entry I wrote in my journal. Guys, I am hurting here. I love her still but she keeps pushing her behavior into areas that I can not abide by.

"We dropped ****** and **** off at school. While leaving the school zone the car in front t of me stopped in the middle of the street. I honked. WIFE started off by saying that I look like an asshole when I honk at someone. I already knew she was in a bad mood from the night before so I knew how this was going to go, she was going to start hurling abusive words my way. As we are driving along she is still saying crap about honking at the car. Then she stopped and said "Nevermind I am not going to even say it"...I asked her what she was talking about, "nope! I'm not saying anything because I can't talk with you, you turn everything around" "ok" I said and kept driving. "I'M TIRED OF ENABELING YOU! tHIS ISN'T A MARRIAGE! WE ARE ROOMMATES!!!!! YOU DON'T GIVE ME ENOUGH MONEY!!!" I give her on average $1500 monthly. I responded with just that: "I gave you $1700 this month (Oct), $1500 last month" She got in my face and was screaming: "OOOOOOOHH BIG MONEY! ARE YOU KEEP TRACK OF WHAT YOU ARE SENDING ME!!! WHY!!! ALL I DO IS TAKE CARE OF YOU!!!" I do all of the cooking, the cleaning (as much as I can around her hoarding), the majority of the parenting due to her not being around as much as you would think she would want to be...She does not take care of me, the only ENABELING she does is enable my weakness. We got to my office finally, I get out of the car and was so overcome with hurt and emotion from the things she was saying that I lost my shit and yelled at her to "FUCK OFF! IF YOU WANT A DIVORCE THEN FUCKING GET ONE!!!"

I got upstairs to the office and said good morning to the ladies. I walked into my office, and closed the door, and I couldn't stop myself from crying anymore. I was so mad that she got me so worked up that I raised my voice to her like that. I have worked my whole life to not be like my father in how he treated my Mom. This is the last straw. She is saying the most irrational shit I have ever heard and it is getting worse every year."

Guys, this bitch has me going against who I am at the core...This sucks. I met with a lawyer the day after. I signed with him and now I am working on getting the retainer.