I'm hurting

Effective_Piece8853 · 2024-04-09T23:49:49+00:00

Gosh! This is terrible. I’m in the same boat of my wife with whom there’s a pending divorce she’s been dragging me in courts with the 3rd restraining order in 2 years. All prior were dismissed but caused me 95k in attorney fee losses. I can give you some legal advice on how I’m navigating. Every time there’s a TRO it takes months for it to get to trial. And every time one is filed you lose access to kids or are severely marginalized with Disneyland dad visitation. Immediately file an appeals and order hearing for parenting time. File for expedited hearing, rest I can tell you directly if you ping me. Good look brother!

Academic_Mistake_751 · 2024-04-09T20:36:40+00:00

What a B!!!

Plot some cold revenge remember it’s a dish best served cold. Sometimes

Any-Dare-7261 · 2024-04-06T15:46:44+00:00

My old lady tried to do this once. Because I was sarcastic and said, “sometimes I want to hang myself.” Spent Christmas in my car. Came home because legally she had nothing. Then a year later she started hitting me and my daughter and I was arrested for pushing her off of us. Restraining order, probation etc, took the kids. I filed for divorce and here I am. I talk to a therapist and do a lot of writing for PTSD. I have destroyed some of my teeth from anxiety. It’s just sickening how sociopathic some people can be.

Here is another thing I’ve learned. Women don’t give a shit about you or your feelings. You’re there to take care of them, they get enraged if they have to take care of you. Had a shoulder surgery and she acted disgusted because I said I couldn’t build a basketball goal for my step son.

FarmD_4_Life · 2024-04-05T21:15:01+00:00

This is gut wrenching man. I’m sorry for you and your sons.

JakobCbol · 2024-04-05T23:18:12+00:00

Very sorry for your pain. I highly recommend trying psychedelic mushrooms a few times. They did wonders for me when I was dealing with divorce-related depression.

Also, I can’t tell you how many times I’ve watched this speech.

https://youtu.be/fwCcQfpeH4E?si=uAMm2lSO7JLrL2eD

Long-Review-1861 · 2024-04-05T20:57:49+00:00

So many women pull this shit. It's borderline evil

WittyBeautiful7654 · 2024-04-05T19:32:18+00:00

Beat advice, forge a new life. Be a bigger better you. Gym, church, go to therapy. Spend some time outside it's spring time. Get by the water and enjoy yourself a little. Fuck that rotten bitch. You're better off without someone who'd do something like that to you.

Initial_Topic_4989 · 2024-04-05T18:40:56+00:00

Women cannot be trusted, truly... I am starting to hate them for real

dday_throwaway3 · 2024-04-05T16:51:57+00:00

Your ex set you up for failure. She's being coached very well. Getting you to 5150 yourself allowed her to get full temp custody of your children.

You need an attorney. Do not DIY this. Save that for home projects.

dave2118 · 2024-04-05T15:55:19+00:00

You WILL be better after this phase. It won’t be easy, put yourself first for now. If you need someone to talk to, feel free to PM and I’d be happy to talk.

Ordinary_Cup_1827 · 2024-04-05T15:22:08+00:00

Damn. Pray and stay strong. The weaker you are the more happy she will be

DarkEnergy67 · 2024-04-05T14:25:34+00:00

Sounds like she played you well. Damage recovery is long and slow. Takes time and effort and you will have to prove to a judge that you are better. Recovery is absolutely possible.

warrior_up · 2024-04-05T13:58:13+00:00

Settle in for a rocky year or two. Goes by faster than you think. Be cool, get healthy, she’s no longer your concern so quit worrying about things you can’t control

Work on you. Get through the process. You will be happy again looking back wondering why you didn’t leave this situation long long ago

Flashy_Yam967 · 2024-04-05T11:44:29+00:00

If the protection order is unjustified, petition the court for a hearing.

Devils advocate, if she was legit in fear of her life from you, maybe the best thing for her safety was to get you help manipulating you to seek treatment, then she got the protection order.

You committed yourself so that tells me there were issues going on here.

Protection orders are abused for sure, but way more often than not, they are justified.

berzerker5000 · 2024-04-05T11:42:13+00:00

This shit is a common tactic to gain custody. Sorry fren. She doesn’t love you anymore. However for kids to be taken by CPS, there is more going on here than you are letting on. Regardless, my exw pulled the same shit that I saw through and CPS ruled out any charges cuz they were bs. But if you play along with this, it can absolutely fuck up your custody. Eventually, once she is out of the picture and you work on yourself, you will realize you are depressed because you are in a dead marriage and aren’t fulfilling your needs or staying on your purpose.

No_Animator_6015 · 2024-04-05T10:58:05+00:00

She’s playing you. You need to snap out of this depression and showing any unstable emotions around your wife or kids immediately!!

warwww · 2024-04-05T10:29:19+00:00

Also, to add. In the legal sense she is still your “wife”. In the actual sense she is not. I really don’t understand why most here don’t get it.

“My wife of 10 years is out getting pregnant by another man”

“My wife if 10 years filed false abuse charges and took the kids”

Pause for a second and think of your worst enemy (hopefully you don’t have any). Would they treat you this way?

If you have kids: “the other parent”

If you don’t: “my previous partner”

It’s not harboring resentment but instead training your mind to let it all go. A “wife” would not treat or betray you in these sort of ways, not even a stranger on the street.

Signal-Dot2326 · 2024-04-05T10:10:21+00:00

What's the end goal here why do women do this shit? Just to win custody battles? Aren't they winning majority of the time anyways without these crazy tactics.

warwww · 2024-04-05T09:36:55+00:00

Oh wow. Why are men so often treated this way? (And often by other men).

dudefromyork · 2024-04-05T09:04:09+00:00

Ouch. I feel for you. I had chronic anxiety, mainly from being gaslit and bullied for finding out about her affair(s).

It’s horrible. You should get a lawyer immediately if not sooner. And get access to your kids immediately. Your doctor will attest to your ability to be around them

Classic-Ad8157 · 2024-04-05T09:02:21+00:00

If you need to talk, DM me. I’m ten months in and I know your pain. It gets better, I promise. All the cliche things like gym and therapy work, man. Get in the gym and work your guts off.

DaddyNoBux · 2024-04-05T08:59:58+00:00

Jesus, she has played you like a flute

Heal up bro. Time to fight dirty

Mundane-Surround-325 · 2024-04-05T08:45:56+00:00

We are here and we hear you. Sorry you hurt like this. This is like in the army: When there is a war raging, each of us want to shoulder the others, because that is how the team survives. Be a soldier, stay committed to find peace again, friend!

HeiHeiHair73 · 2024-04-05T08:14:24+00:00

There's obviously so much more to your story than is here. So I don't know whether this does anything for you. It sounds like you're in a lot of pain independent of your wife and family and likely because of them your pain is even worse because it's tied up in guilt and regret and whatever all other things that got turned upside down in your life.

I don't know what to say about her or her actions. If there really is some serious stuff.going on with you, you need to work on that...focus on that and let her know you're trying and that maybe it isn't even about the marriage and all that social crap we willingly anchor ourselves with til we drown. It's more about friendship. Were you guys friends? Ever? (I'm not asking for you to answer.) Sometimes you need to go back to that first and restart there. Work on yourself and with her, boil it down to the most basic, tell her you need her because you need your friend and you need help. And whatever it is now you're feeling and going through, you know that you don't want to be...all of that is a start.

FollowingDesigner275 · 2024-04-05T07:26:18+00:00

Man that’s how I felt at the beginning as well. You have to stay strong man

Accomplished_Gene176 · 2024-04-05T07:10:47+00:00

Sounds like her plan is going accordingly

Title	I'm hurting
Author	el-otro9396
Upvotes	16
Comments	40
Date	April 5, 2024 6:56 AM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/1bwbkis/im_hurting/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/im-hurting.1513911 https://theredarchive.com/post/1513911

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