Online dating

AutisticAvoidant · 2024-04-03T08:53:57+00:00

I signed up to a couple to check it out and was fucking shocked how old some of them look, like yeah my wife and I are going through it but damn makes me appreciate how well she has aged.

The other thing too is it looks like plenty are on there but you start to filter out the ones you don't want you are left with single digits.

I found it quite depressing to be honest. I don't even want company I think I'm happy just to be by myself and have some working girls on the side whenever I want.

Theedon · 2024-04-03T03:31:39+00:00

When I was on the OLD sites "traveling" was a red flag for me. All that ment was pay for my ticket, food and shopping and you might get laid.

SunAndMoon23 · 2024-04-02T18:16:39+00:00

Hiking, travel, and food.

Ecstatic-Shopping313 · 2024-04-02T16:47:20+00:00

They aren't trying to "woo" anyone. They don't believe they have to. That's why so many of them won't even write a bio and just, "If we match you'll find out" implying they expect you to swipe on them despite knowing nothing about them.

RichardCleveland · 2024-04-02T16:21:21+00:00

do not expect to find your next lover or wife god forbid on here

No experience. But I have one friend who met a girl who "swallowed" in a pool halls parking lot on date two. He decided though she wasn't very relationship worthy so he ghosted her and she went full on psycho mode. Haven't talked to him in awhile so no idea if he's dead. And I have a second friend who lined up several candidates and had to keep cutting down his list. Now he is in a fairly great relationship with an attractive women who he has really clicked with.

Seemingly does work for some and not... for others unless you like getting sucked off behind bars.

Character_Let_3982 · 2024-04-02T15:54:27+00:00

Looks about right...

I spook when I see more than one "girl's spa day" photo. Looks expensive, like I'm optional but might be picking up the bill.

Say no to hiking dates. So many problems. Different hiking paces. Not fun walking single file talking to the back of the head. Sweaty. Disaster. But it's a common second date proposal from women.

Realize that a lot of women have the same issues with men. Ghosted. Led on. Dick picks. OLD sucks for everyone.

deludedhairspray · 2024-04-02T15:26:29+00:00

I'd say 9 out of 10 of my friends who are currently in a relationship met their significant other online. So it's definitely not hopeless, but I reckon you'll need a bit of luck!

awaythrow-8675309 · 2024-04-02T15:23:17+00:00

I briefly joined dating apps and got off them as I felt shitty being on them (still not divorced however I was very transparent and honest about my situation.)

Here is my observation to piggy back off of OP

I was very emotionally unavailable and I realized many people on them are as well. There will undoubtedly be women on there who are recently single and not over their husband or bf, women who may be on a break of sorts, women who are going through the divorce process and just really women (and men) who shouldn't be on a dating app
apps are 70% men and 30% women so your odds are not great unless you're very handsome or your profile / pictures really grab attention. This can be bad for your self esteem or self worth as men will get like a dozen matches in what would be considered extremely successful while women can have hundreds possibly thousands which is normal.
women will message you and either be very forward and eager to hang out or not be very responsive. I found very little in between. Either they would want to chat a lot or they'd say something to really engage you then stop talking. This can be tough if you are infatuated from photos and they just kinda disappear.
the algorithms are messed up and encourage you to pay to see better looking women. When you first sign up you'll see all the really good looking women first then it drops off and you see less desirable women. The more you swipe the less desirable you become because it works the same from the woman's perspective. If you swipe a lot the app assumes you're not very selective e.g. desperate aka not attractive and you're pushed to the end of the line

p71interceptor · 2024-04-02T15:21:15+00:00

I got on there to see what was up. I had a girl match me and she then asked if I was down for a threesome with some other dude. World has turned upside down for guys like me.

I'm not jaded or giving up on finding someone but damn it's going to be tough around these parts.

LifeLivedOutdoors · 2024-04-02T10:11:40+00:00

Every time anyone mentions online or in person dating after divorce both the negative and positive stories make me more sure I’ll never date again.

Miserable_Ad_1172 · 2024-04-02T09:47:18+00:00

Also when a lot of them say they go “hiking and climbing” know that a good 80% of them couldn’t climb a flight of stairs 😂

Miserable_Ad_1172 · 2024-04-02T09:45:53+00:00

I have done relatively well in my time on them, but it’s hard to take them serious. There are a few decent women on there….but the majority are very self entitled and lack any type of self awareness. Also they are just pretty uninteresting all rambling on about travelling and finding themselves…drivel. It has helped rebuild my self esteem a little but a word of advice don’t take it to heart much if your rejected. Some will be on there forever holding out for something that doesn’t exist, a perfect person.

lifeisallihave · 2024-04-02T04:41:17+00:00

I've been reading a lot about the whole OLD thing and this is my observation. They do not want to sleep nor do anything with you. They will however sleep with the guys that fly them over to Dubai and Miami for the weekend, absolutely destroying them that they could barely walk with no intention of dating them. These are the guys you are competing with, which is a waste of time. You approach them, they approach those guys. There's a difference. lol

Go outside and socialize. Also it's ok to be alone.

Visual_Cycle_1066 · 2024-04-02T03:33:18+00:00

OLD is to be used sparingly, only during times when you have been too busy on your grind to be out there mingling IRL, and for hook ups only.

My nickname for Match.com is FirstDateBJ.com. Honestly I would put the first date hookup ratio as 1 out of 5, which is incredible given the number of duds you will get.

Stay off the computer and get out there in the world my brothers.

dday_throwaway3 · 2024-04-02T02:14:00+00:00

> if they ghost or don’t show interest after 2 or 3 dates

I delete their number if they flake on the first date. If they're insistent about a second chance, I tell them they're taking me out for dinner -- on them -- at my favorite steakhouse. Life is too short to deal with people who don't respect my time. I've got shit to do, and you're either gonna come along for the ride with me as captain of the ship or you're going to get left in my wake.

Dating apps for men are like trying to find a Tootsie Roll in a punchbowl of turds. Find a hobby or activity that attracts the opposite sex. You'll find less entitled women there, and you start off with something in common. Or go volunteer somewhere. Same thing.

Sudden_Ad_4193 · 2024-04-02T01:31:27+00:00

What with the traveling man? Every fucking one of them is looking for a traveling partner. As if traveling is free or cheap.

The 40’s and up are all overweight fatties. I just can’t do it. The fit and decent looking ones are only interested in 6’3” Brad Pitt with no kids. The dating world is broken.

stent00 · 2024-04-02T01:03:23+00:00

It's a cesspool for average dudes. I already tapped out years back. Just can't do it and have no drive to chat them up all for a whiff off poonany

GoHorns1998 · 2024-04-02T00:56:18+00:00

All seems accurate.

Bernie51Williams · 2024-04-02T00:52:05+00:00

How about don't ask them for shit and let them come to you?

That's how I play homie.

Title	Online dating
Author	Plenty-Entertainer71
Upvotes	33
Comments	46
Date	April 2, 2024 12:13 AM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/1btkgff/online_dating/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/online-dating.1513774 https://theredarchive.com/post/1513774

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