Married several years. Dated several years before that. First marriage for both of us. Young kids. I thought it was a tough phase that we would get through. Thought we shared an ethos on the permanence of marriage. No suggestions of counseling or therapy ever, just straight into this.

I don't think it's ever happened before, or that this one has gone on for very long, unless she was much, much smarter and tidier in the past than she's being right now. (The comic relief is all that's keeping me going.)

I feel differently than I always imagined I would feel when I read other people's stories. I assumed I would be full of rage if it happened to me. I'm not. I just want it to have never happened. I don't want to deal with this. I think I still love her in some ways. She sacrificed for me and was kind to me in tough moments. I've halfway forgiven her already, and I feel guilty for my own significant shortcomings (but I've never cheated, to be clear). I wish we could work through whatever was unsatisfactory to her and move forward together, for our own sake and for the kids'. If it had been a coworker, a one-night stand off an app, etc., I might push for that.

Unfortunately, the circumstances aren't going to allow that. This is a mutual friend of several years. He is married to another mutual friend. Some of her interactions in front of us and the other wife have been downright clinically sociopathic, in hindsight. They've both said they love each other, and they're slowly formulating exit plans. There's no earthly way back from all of that, is there? Which is why I'm putting on a show as hard as I can while I figure out which ducks to get in which rows. But I don't know how long I can keep it up.

My greatest fear, the only further damage she could do that I'd care about, is that the two of them would move and relocate the kids. How realistic is that? I don't think I've given her any ammunition. No criminal record, employed long-term, no infidelity on my part, no semblance of abuse or anything like that. Can she just take them and go?

Other info: I'm in the United States. Don't want to be more specific. I work and make enough to support myself and cover any remotely fair split of the kids' expenses. Throwaway account and vague details for the obvious reason.

Please help me. Anything and everything y'all got, any topic. Thanks so much in advance.