A Question For Those Who Like to Interject “Not All Men” into conversations about bad men. Someone do the math.

AAlegend8 · 2021-06-06T21:40:43+00:00

Can I add deadbeat dads and abusive fathers please? The list looks a little light.

AyemHerself · 2021-06-06T23:36:10+00:00

What these guys like to forget is that bad men don't treat other men the way they treat women. So when men say they've never met an incel, rapist, deadbeat, whatever, that's not a reliable source because these men aren't the targets of most predators.

Back when I was in the BDSM scene, all the "dominant" men at the top of the social ladder would insist they've never met a predator in their midst. But this only tells you they either 1) aren't being targeted by these predators or 2) they ARE the predators covering their tracks.

Cultural_Training249 · 2021-06-06T22:33:59+00:00

When anyone tries to change a conversation and say not all men or not all whatever you're talking about. Understand they are derailing you and trying to make you second-guess yourself. It's just like when people say don't judge. Because to not judge is not to discern. It is not to make a decision based on the information put before you. It calls for you to not use your brain.They are trying to derail, gaslight and shut you up for calling them out for doing what is often morally and ethically wrong. Never fall for it.

Pinsandneedlessss · 2021-06-06T21:41:10+00:00

The problem is that most men think they have decent hygiene and don’t wash their ass/genitals, floss, clean and trim their nails (though they love to bitch long nails on women out), follow any sort of skin care routine... they aren’t even aware that they fit in to these groups 🤢

SlightlyCapsized · 2021-06-06T22:14:13+00:00

As much as I like this logic...what about the overlaps? How would the Venn diagram of this look? I can bet a lot of these guys would fall under several categories.

radsera99 · 2021-06-06T21:44:31+00:00

I don’t think there’s a woman alive that hasn’t experienced misogyny at least once in her life ... that should tell you what % of men are misogynistic

PeterHickman · 2021-06-06T21:48:21+00:00

It's a statistical thing. "Smoking kills" does not mean that anyone who has ever inhaled tobacco will die of cancer, just that smoking is a contributor to many deaths if not the actual cause

The phrase "All men are rapists" is clearly not true, but women would do well to have that in mind when dealing with men. It is true more often than you would think and a lot more true than a man would think

I have yet to meet a woman who was not assaulted or abused at some point in their life, including as a child

So "Not all men", but until you can tell them apart "All men are rapists" will probably keep you safer

curlywurlyprincess · 2021-06-06T23:14:37+00:00

It’s “not all men” until they say they don’t want daughters because they know men think and act. If it’s not all men why can’t you trust that your daughter will be treated well?

Platipus6 · 2021-06-06T23:12:31+00:00

Every ex who abused me would insist he was such a good guy. They're back in dating apps claiming they're such good guys. A serial predator on a dating app assaulted me while saying "he's not that guy". He's back on the app describing how he's a gentleman.

Guys can't be trusted to tell us that there are so many "good guys" out there.

I had a tradesman come into my home during a mask mandate. He had no mask, he bitched about wearing one, he complained that I had the window open, he didn't wash his hands and he stood in my face telling me that his company didn't tell him to wear one.

So I emailed the company reporting his disgusting behaviour and asking if it was true, that they had not complied with the mask mandate and not informed their employees or provided masks or damn near any information about handwashing and ventilation.

The male CEO called me and did damage control. I asked if I would have gotten so much pushback if I was a male; this was clearly misogynistic behaviour. He corrected me that this tradesman wasn't a misogynist, because these other, older men were the ones calling women slurs while they were in the back of the shop.

He mansplained misogyny to me 😂 Probably thinks he's such a good guy.

zorra666 · 2021-06-06T23:43:33+00:00

Ok, ladies, I did the math. I'm no mathematician but I, altogether, I came up with 186%. Sounds about right.

t3ddi · 2021-06-07T03:36:02+00:00

In my life alone, my father (likely lied about being married beforehand - can't verify bc my mom died after battling her own complex ptsd) conned my mother, had me, abandoned us. My first three full on sexual encounters were rapes by three separate individuals. One that gave me an std and blamed me for it. I had two years long, long cons where the men acted like they loved me and wanted a relationship only to get sex, one of which turned out to be a pedophile. The last one, was hands down the most traumatic thing that has ever happened to me. I was in a relationship with him for years of Ted Bundyesque abuse until I came across his mugshot by chance online and found him out. I had to do outpatient therapy because I was so agorophobic after the ordeal that I would hallucinate in social situations/had raging PTSD nightmares. All of this bullshit on top of being orphaned at 9 and abused by family members afterwards which each of the fuckwits listed knew about and probably took sadistic pleasure in knowing. Especially the last one. My story isnt even unique, I have at least two close friends who are serial victims of crime by men. On a somewhat tangential note... this kind of history is the reason why terms like "pickmeisha" are somewhat insulting. As if we chose to be conditioned in this way^ as if we chose to be groomed to accept this. Back to the topic... not all men? I'd say 80/20 predators/normal human beings and that is being generous. In the normal human being category, I'm talking about the basics also, about 80% could benefit from emotional intelligence training, even then.

catlady4u · 2021-06-07T12:15:53+00:00

Even with significant overlap, this leaves very few men worth our time.

srkambbs1 · 2021-06-06T23:20:33+00:00

It only takes one bad apple to spoil the bunch

girl_in_red_costume · 2021-06-07T01:56:43+00:00

I'm tired of explaining this to men (online, bc my irl male friends know better than repeating this not all men shit) and I got to the conclusion that they know the logic behind it but they will throw a fit anyways bc they don't like being called out. HVM knows how other men can be crappy, they wont repeat this 'not all men' narrative.

millrice · 2021-06-07T09:12:14+00:00

And how are they found literally ALL around the world?

elainejay82 · 2021-06-06T23:57:14+00:00

99.9998%

spinsterchachkies · 2021-06-07T04:26:13+00:00

Also add men with STIs and don’t get themselves checked and just spread disease like they don’t care. Unfit parents. Aaaand yep now we covered all men

ChocoBananza · 2021-06-07T10:59:32+00:00

Venn diagram would be a circle

lansburysoda · 2021-06-06T21:56:32+00:00

Over 50% of them

namasdating · 2021-06-06T23:32:05+00:00

💯 duh

Hmtnsw · 2021-06-07T03:36:23+00:00

I'd love to see an actual study on this. I bet the good man % would be lower for sure.

redpandanation_ · 2021-06-06T23:07:22+00:00

100% of the straight men.

16February2021 · 2021-06-07T17:45:58+00:00

Calm down there, so do you guys want to start ww3? Because that's how you start ww3.

I don't need to see what's in comment section I can already imagine haha

sharnieg · 2021-06-07T08:53:24+00:00

I remember when I was little and my dad told me to be wary of men, and I asked him if all men were bad people, and I remember distinctly he told me " no of course not, but I still need to always be careful and be independent because enough men are bad enough that you should be cautious of all of them". This is also the man that always told me " As your dad I set the standard of how a man should treat you, with unconditional love and support, that's the adequate standard okay not great, so only go for men that treat you better than I do".

Silura · 2021-06-07T12:38:57+00:00

For starters I'd take the bad hygiene out and replace it with "bad hygiene eventho you asked them to do certain hygienic things /told them that they should do them and then refuse to do them" as I myself keep picking up hygienic advice that seems obvious to everyone else except me.

And I still say it's not all men, because I know from experience that it's not all of them. And most people like generalisations. Saying all men are bad isn't an invention for betterment or conversation. I myself don't like generalisation a about groups I'm included in, so I try to not do it to anyone else either.

Title	A Question For Those Who Like to Interject “Not All Men” into conversations about bad men. Someone do the math.
Author	MarbleWorld
Upvotes	256
Comments	48
Date	June 6, 2021 9:30 PM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/ntw6np/a_question_for_those_who_like_to_interject_not/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/a-question-for-those-who-like-to-interject-not-all.781153 https://theredarchive.com/post/781153

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