I had a recent conversation with a male acquaintance who was bragging about a recent exploit with a girl from tinder. “She wasn’t looking for sex, but I was able to change her mind.” I told him that sounds creepy af, and he said, “it’s okay, I’m not a rapist.” I just hate this fucking culture we live in. It’s so dangerous for women. It just makes me sad and worries me for all the young girls I know.

They’ll say, “I’m not a rapist,” and pressure/nag a woman until she says yes.

They’ll say, “I’m not a rapist,” and get her drunk so her inhibitions are low.

They’ll say, “I’m not a rapist,” and manipulate her emotionally until she says yes.

They’ll say “I’m not a rapist,” and commence sex without getting the green light from her.

They’ll say, “I’m not a rapist,” and give her the silent treatment when she doesn’t want to.

They’ll say, “I’m not a rapist,” and do things with her body without her permission.

They’ll say, “I’m not a rapist,” and joke with their friends about what they’d do to her.

They’ll say, “I’m not a rapist,” and remain quiet when men make violent jokes against women.

They’ll say, “I’m not a rapist,” and then defend a rapist in the media.

Just because you don’t violently assault a woman and rip her clothes off doesn’t make you not a rapist. Rape isn’t always violent. And making inappropriate jokes definitely isn’t raping someone, but it’s contributing to this idea that women exist for the pleasure of men. The words, jokes, and silence of men, contribute to the culture, just as their actions do.