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Any_Indication_2754
[–]Platipus6FDS Apprentice 1023 points1024 points1025 points 5 years ago (30 children) | Copy Link
oh my god. the skincare one.
"My gf is OBSESSED with collecting skincare products because it's going to be her JOB as an aesthetician! So I punished her and threw all her products in my truck and made her break down and cry. Why is she CRAZY? Why isnt she focusing on ME?"
[–]Any_Indication_2754FDS Newbie[S] 624 points625 points626 points 5 years ago (12 children) | Copy Link
I saw one earlier today that went "so I annoyed my fiancee of 3 years all morning, sneak attack style sexually assaulted her in public, and she slapped me. I cant believe she slapped me!"
[–]Platipus6FDS Apprentice 321 points322 points323 points 5 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
I made the mistake of scrolling to find the post and the titles just have me internally screaming. Dump him, dump her, oh lord call the police.
[–]r4nd0m-u53rFDS Newbie 6 points7 points8 points 5 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Can you send me the posts? I can't find them.
[–]Platipus6FDS Apprentice 8 points9 points10 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Oh! just read the titles of relationship, relationship advice and am i the asshole. they're awful. The sneak attack fiancee has been deleted and it was as bad as I suspected. minimizing his behaviour, renaming it, and blaming her for overreacting.
[–]UnderTheHarvestMoon 198 points199 points200 points 5 years ago (7 children) | Copy Link
This one irritated me so much! And all the Bros in the comments were saying "That's abuse. That's the same as if you hit her." No it fucking isn't. This guy is he's driving his girlfriend to the brink because he can't articulate his thoughts and emotions. So he plays stupid games instead hoping to draw things to a head then his girlfriend will use her superior emotional intelligence to figure out what the hell is bothering him.
[–]MrAndMrsCremgroblinPickmeisha™️ 16 points17 points18 points 5 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link
Can you dm it to me? I tried trying to find it and couldnt
[–]relationship_redditFDS Newbie 7 points8 points9 points 5 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
Me too, please.
[–]midwesternwindsFDS Newbie 5 points6 points7 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Same!
[–]Some-Air9442FDS Newbie 447 points448 points449 points 5 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link
Just a reminder that a lot of men truly deserve to be alone.
[–]VeganINFJ 63 points64 points65 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼
[–]potmakesyouparanoidFDS Newbie 129 points130 points131 points 5 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Nah, they deserve each other. We deserve to.be alone, far away from them.
[–]christmasforoutlawsFDS Apprentice 284 points285 points286 points 5 years ago (6 children) | Copy Link
There are so many of these. The jars guy. The socks guy. The dress guy. The plant guy. The childhood memento guy. All basically the same story.
"My gf has/wears/owns something that makes her unique and I don't like it. She embarrasses me/doesn't give me enough attention/does stupid things. I don't think she actually needs [item] so I got rid of it. She's mad, AITA?"
I don't doubt that some of these stories may be fakes because they're all so formulaic, but it's genuinely hard to tell. I will repeat the holy teachings of Lundy Bancroft until the day I die: most men are abusive in some capacity because men receive social credit for being abusive.
[–]Platipus6FDS Apprentice 140 points141 points142 points 5 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link
It's true they could be creative writing, but as we're discovering here, scrotes are all the same and seem to use the same abusive guidebook.
I love his other point - men destroy the woman's property on purpose during a supposed "out of control" rage.
and yeah, they get a 2nd thrill writing out the abuse for everyone to see, humiliating her again.
[–]jupitaur9FDS Newbie 88 points89 points90 points 5 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
Even when they’re creative writing, they still get approval from scrotes on line. It supports the narrative that women are not supposed to be in control of their own lives and that men are the final arbiters of value and are in charge of shaping the behavior of their partners if they don’t find it pleasing to them in any way.
That men don’t have to know what their partners consider important and can be forgiven for these small “mistakes.” That something like this could even be a mistake.
[–]Platipus6FDS Apprentice 59 points60 points61 points 5 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
Yes! It's a type of chauvinism where men are the judges and Reddit is a jury of his peers, and they stroke their neckbeards and concur this is a silly woman's thing.
1.6 Reference to the supremacy of male logic
The man refers to “reason,” “logic,” or “proper” arguments with the aim of enforcing thoughts, behaviours or choices on the woman that are disadvantageous to her. The man who uses this manoeuvre bases his actions on the idea that his is the only or at last the best argument. He does not leave room for differing feelings or wishes, nor for alternative solutions, and presumes that solely by presenting his arguments he is also entitled to carry out his will. The man will not accept anything from the woman that is not a so-called logical argument (while of course the man thinks that the woman will never be able to come up with one). The woman, unless she wants to be overwhelmed, is forced to be absolutely clear about her position and the arguments supporting it. This kind of manoeuvre is especially efficient
against women whose sense of reality is based on perception or intuition.
A typical example is the coercion used in choosing a place for holidays. If the woman does not like the place the man chose, how could she enforce her different wishes if those do not make sense under (male) logic? Another example of the manoeuvres in this group is when the man monopolises the right to decide if a topic is serious or not.
[–]jupitaur9FDS Newbie 59 points60 points61 points 5 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Five years of tutoring Logic students taught me a lot.
Logic is never the real base of his argument. It’s a particular premise or set of premises that he claims as completely logical and beyond argument.
If you challenge him, he will get emotional about it. It’s funny in a way. They are the ones who can’t analyze an argument and determine its truth value.
Example: the ocean is better for a vacation than the mountains.
Valid arguments would allow for personal opinions like “I prefer lots of waves” or “salt water taffy is the best.” It’s clear that these are based on personal preferences and thus are not universal.
Another form would be “ocean visits are more ecologically sound because we live closer to the ocean,” or “ocean vacations cost less.” These are facts that can be measured. But other premises might compete. “Once we get to the mountains we don’t drive around, but we do at the ocean, so we use up just as much gas.”
But the typical supposed logical scrote argument is one part fact, nine parts dismissal of any other fact and outright hostility and bulldozing.
Supporting arguments are of the form , Everyone knows this, It’s only logical, why are you even arguing.
It’s called begging the question. Stating something is true because you say it’s true.
[–]Platipus6FDS Apprentice 26 points27 points28 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Reminds me of a JustNoSO where her bf told her, every time she went over, that Pink Floyd was the best band ever, and she was wrong if she disagreed 😂
[–]MissWestSeattle 76 points77 points78 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I remember that story that one literally made my jaw drop at how insane it was. I didn't think it could be real but his followup comments just solidified how crazy the scrote was. Truly terrifying!!
[–]AnniaTFDS Disciple 14 points15 points16 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Wtf?? What's going on with people??
[–]aoi4egFDS Newbie 268 points269 points270 points 5 years ago (7 children) | Copy Link
Or "Yes, literally everyone in my life told me I should immediately leave this crazy man, but [some devil's advocate bs] so don't give me this advice, I only want to know how I can change my behaviour to accommodate him!"
[–]localgirlcultFDS Apprentice 178 points179 points180 points 5 years ago (6 children) | Copy Link
Yes. Also, "I don't want to leave him. I love him. He's a good guy deep down. I just want advice on how to make him see he's hurting me."
"He's a good guy deep down" is their favorite useless platitude. Like...how fuckin deep is that goodness exactly? Literally no one sees it. You can't make him see shit. He knows what he's doing and he loves it. These women come to those subreddits because they're suffering, they know they're suffering. But men are still so important to them, more important than anything else that they don't really want a change. They basically want to be told to cOmMuNiCate, which is a meme at this point. As if they haven't been doing that all along. As if women aren't the only ones doing that.
[–]Inspection-CriticalFDS Newbie 53 points54 points55 points 5 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
"He's a good guy deep down"
The part that kills me is society never extends women this same level of benefit of the doubt. For anything.
[–]foxorhedgehogFDS Newbie 2 points3 points4 points 5 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
“Deep down”! Like, how deep? In his colon?
[–]Inspection-CriticalFDS Newbie 2 points3 points4 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
😂😂😂
[–]aoi4egFDS Newbie 90 points91 points92 points 5 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
Yep. "I like to pretend that he's a stupid baby who doesn't have a concept of good and bad developed in him yet so he clearly has no idea that his actions hurting me" is my second favourite.
[–]jupitaur9FDS Newbie 65 points66 points67 points 5 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
How about all the comments complaining that everyone tells couples to break up, why not try cOmmuNiCaTiOn?
How about, because she tried, described her efforts in detail, and he refused to respond in any meaningful way?
[–]aoi4egFDS Newbie 26 points27 points28 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Yes! It's like this is not a mediocre lazy man, but an intricate wooden puzzle and you can't just smash a box but need to find a key, a pattern of movements to open it, lol.
[–]MilkMadeMeFDS Newbie 415 points416 points417 points 5 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Variations on a friggin’ theme. Cloaked in Internet secrecy, men violently spit out their hate of us. But even in secret women still hope that their man is actually good despite the gut feelings that say otherwise. Been there.
[–]sleutherinoFDS Newbie 335 points336 points337 points 5 years ago* (12 children) | Copy Link
Imagine being shocked when she leaves you after you dismiss, ridicule, tease, grope, disrespect, cheat on, and manipulate her.
"I'M JUST COMPLETELY BLIND SIDED I DON'T UNDERSTAND HOW SHE COULD DO THIS."
"SHE'S FUCKING CRAZY TRUST ME, SHE JUST WANTS TO GO FUCK OTHER GUYS"
"YOU CAN'T TRUST ANYTHING SHE SAYS, SHE'LL SAY ANYTHING TO MAKE ME LOOK BAD. GOLD DIGGING BITCH"
Like, any possible reason they can come up with in their heads before they even CONSIDER that they did something wrong.
My ex guilt tripped me during the argument that led to our breakup. I called it out, how he was using self pity to make me feel bad so I'd just let it go and agree with him.
This mother fucker really said saying that hurt HIS feelings, and so I was the one who was REALLY guilt tripping. I'm somehow manipulative... for calling out his manipulations. 😒
Literally fucking anything to avoid being in the wrong. It's ridiculous the shit they come up with.
[–]dak4f2FDS Newbie 160 points161 points162 points 5 years ago (8 children) | Copy Link
DARVO refers to a reaction perpetrators of wrong doing, particularly sexual offenders, may display in response to being held accountable for their behavior. DARVO stands for "Deny, Attack, and Reverse Victim and Offender." The perpetrator or offender may Deny the behavior, Attack the individual doing the confronting, and Reverse the roles of Victim and Offender such that the perpetrator assumes the victim role and turns the true victim -- or the whistle blower -- into an alleged offender. This occurs, for instance, when an actually guilty perpetrator assumes the role of "falsely accused" and attacks the accuser's credibility and blames the accuser of being the perpetrator of a false accusation.
https://dynamic.uoregon.edu/jjf/defineDARVO.html
[–]sleutherinoFDS Newbie 16 points17 points18 points 5 years ago* (7 children) | Copy Link
Guess I have one more thing to send him before I block and delete.
Thanks for sharing this information. The more of us that are aware of this shit, the more capable we become of fighting it. Based
[–]HhjjuuyFDS Apprentice 174 points175 points176 points 5 years ago (5 children) | Copy Link
Don't share it with him. You should be reducing your contact with him as mush as possible as soon as possible, it's not like he'll have some revelation from the information. If he isn't already aware of it you'll only be giving him a tool to use against his next victim.
[–]MagnfiqueMaleficentFDS Disciple 84 points85 points86 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Thank you, yes! I prefer it when raging narcissistic abusers display their crazy behavior big and proud early on. 🤡
It keeps the rest of us from having to waste our time.
Let’s don’t train them to hide it better.
[–]sleutherinoFDS Newbie 53 points54 points55 points 5 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
Holy shit you're right. I think that's the mistake I've been making. In the past I told him what it means to do XYZ, and I think all I was doing was showing him exactly how to hide his shittiness.
God, I hope I didn't give him too much of a crash course on hiding his abuse from the next person. He's such a toxic person, and he's already so good at hiding it.
THANK YOU. Stuff like this is such a big part of why I come here, because I'm always learning from you guys. I will keep the link to myself, and remember to not overshare in the future. It's one of my most self sabotaging traits 😞
[–]Inspection-CriticalFDS Newbie 22 points23 points24 points 5 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
God, I hope I didn't give him too much of a crash course on hiding his abuse from the next person.
You didn't know then. Now you do. Don't beat yourself up over it; if abuse weren't so tricky, it wouldn't be an epidemic.
[–]sleutherinoFDS Newbie 12 points13 points14 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Thank you, really. I'm definitely taking notes on all of this for next time. Not letting a relationship go on like this ever again.
[–]NoodleEmpressFDS Newbie 67 points68 points69 points 5 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
Reminds me of this post yesterday where this guy was "lightly teasing" (coughcough harrassing cough hack) his fiancee, and she in turn slapped him after (I guess) she's had enough.
I mean, to be fair he does admit that it was her first time doing it, but he's just so surprised and hurt he doesn't know what to do with himself--And the comments? Even worse. They make her out like she's this abusive bitch (in which, I don't condone hitting, but it sounded like he crossed some boundaries and didn't want to admit to it)
[–]seraphinelysionFDS Apprentice 22 points23 points24 points 5 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Let me provoke you into a reaction and then act all surprised/offended that you reacted appropriately to my shitty behavior. A classic scrote move. 👌
[–]buzzkillyallFDS Newbie 8 points9 points10 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
It was a favorite hobby of my ex. I was too naive to realize it was intentional. Never again. The rose colored glasses have been smashed. If someone mistreats me, he meant to do it, and I will remove myself from his presence forever.
No time or energy for any benefit of doubt. Be correct or be gone.
[–]throwaway88043468FDS Newbie 91 points92 points93 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
"I swear this came out of nowhere, he's usually the best husband!" After he assaults or insults her
[–]CAgirl17 99 points100 points101 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
So true! I do remember a post on that sub about a girl questioning whether or not she should stay with her bf because she found out he killed someone when he was younger. 🥴
[–]dodrugsmmkayFDS Newbie 219 points220 points221 points 5 years ago* (5 children) | Copy Link
/r deadbedrooms is just the same. Women wanting their pornsick husbands to be intimate with them despite deathgrip rendering them useless.
The men in disbelief that their wives who work, take care of the kids and do all the chores are too tired to have sex with them. They don’t realize they are basically acting like children, what women would feel turned on by that?
I read a comment by an angry man who said: “my wife does (all things listed above) and won’t have sex with me! One weekend we had time to ourselves and she initiated sex so halfheartedly, like why would I want it then?”
Just mind blowing.
[–]luvmyvulvaxoxoFDS Apprentice 157 points158 points159 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I’ve even told ppl “the only time I’ve lost my sex drive is when I had to take care of my partner like a child” and gotten shouted down and accused of sexism because I’m automatically assuming a man does nothing around the house.
Quite frankly that’s the experience EVERY woman I know has had. There’s studies backing it up even!
[–]Platipus6FDS Apprentice 115 points116 points117 points 5 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
My favourite it when they say "So I left the ball in my (clearly disinterested) wife's court! If she wants sex she can initiate!"
3 months later: Guys she hasn't initiated!
Wife probably thrilled to not be pestered.
[–]thehappiestelephantFDS Newbie 59 points60 points61 points 5 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Wife probably thrilled to not be pestered
Hahaha exactly! My ex pulled that on me. I was happy to leave him alone lol
[–]millennialpink2000FDS Apprentice 22 points23 points24 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Ditto. What a relief!
[–]dodrugsmmkayFDS Newbie 17 points18 points19 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Idk why me jack hammering her with my softie and providing no pleasure for her isn’t inspiration enough?!
Guess I’ll just cheat and be make no improvements to myself.
[–]kycakeFDS Newbie 215 points216 points217 points 5 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
the fact that this is actually spot on is so sad and scary. like the world we live in is bad for women yet male violence and bad behavior is so normalized that it’s everywhere and most people dont even notice.
[–]DontBeerTheReaperFDS Newbie 93 points94 points95 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
We notice, we're just so freakin tired of fighting it and trying to get them to see our side of it. It's exhausting and they have no desire to learn.
[–]muchpatience_FDS Newbie 74 points75 points76 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
It's so sad that this type of complaints have become common place in society not just r/relationship...women always settling for less....men never appreciating and endlessly complaining. It's not worth it
[–]obeyy_killxxFDS Newbie 38 points39 points40 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
That sub must’ve gotten so much flack that they’ve set it to private. All their posts are either what’s stated on the tweet or women asking how they can better themselves to fix their (male) partner’s abhorrent behavior… or if they’re crazy noticing said behavior and if they should leave. Commence: jUsT cOmMunIcAtE comments.
[–]victoriabowen8FDS Newbie 24 points25 points26 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
This is because females are taught to look INWARD when there is an issue (what is wrong with ME that caused this) and males are taught to look OUTWARD when there is an issue (who is responsible for this?!?!).
It's very true and very sad. But once I learned this it helped me to better direct my feelings and, more importantly VALIDATE them. It's all about unlearning that conditioning.
[–]TellCerseeItWasMeFDS Newbie 12 points13 points14 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
We need to put this message on a blimp for all women to see
[–]PainfulmenstruationFDS Newbie 17 points18 points19 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
According to him : “My wife is a crazy bitch because she complains about all the home renovations i’m doing to improve our living situation . We’ll have a whole extra room and another level of living space.”
The reality : he’s building a murder dungeon
[–]Emergency-Feed8216FDS Apprentice 5 points6 points7 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Wow, pefect summary.
[+][deleted] 5 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
[permanently deleted]
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[–]Platipus6FDS Apprentice 1023 points1024 points1025 points (30 children) | Copy Link
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