From a dating sub asking about the ‘perfect lady’ that men want to date.

pretty_kill · 2021-04-06T08:48:21+00:00

I’d be curious to know what a list from guys who aren’t Redditors would look like. Not because I would want to be any guys “perfect lady”, but I’m curious what standards are out there outside of the Reddit sphere. I can’t take anything seriously from a man I know is a Redditor. It’s actually a red flag to me if he mentions using this site.

Lavender_flow · 2021-04-06T07:46:51+00:00

Imagine if they applied this scrote logic to themselves. They dont even

spinsterchachkies · 2021-04-06T05:03:17+00:00

I just got bored

lollykpops · 2021-04-06T09:58:04+00:00

You don’t get a pretty, demure and pure girl who will silently bat her lashes at you like a baby lamb all evening without saying a word- who also has the stones to argue with you about how she’s going to pay the bill, pick a fantasy.

eru378 · 2021-04-06T10:55:40+00:00

A quality man would not expect or want a woman to play the paying-the-bill game with him. He would take care of it discreetly so a moment of ambiguity over bill paying would never come up at all.

This expectation for the woman to offer to pay is based in an interesting mix of misogyny and ego. This man knows what his gender role properly entails here but he wants to make the woman suffer before he performs it. He wants his date to show herself to be different from all the entitled whores out there, but also wants her to show herself to be unsure as to whether he will "be a man". He wants the rush of coming in on his valiant steed to pay after all, making her feel bad for offering and not just "letting" him be a man - even thought it was a test all along - and "rewarding" her for not being a greedy bitch. He wants to have his cake and eat it too: he wants a "modern" woman who offers to pay, but also wants to be a "traditional" man who actually pays. Knows that he needs to pay but incapable of being a gentleman about it. The sickness of men today.

purasangria · 2021-04-06T04:54:33+00:00

Why this obsession with women offering to pay? Do they not understand that we spend over an hour showering, doing hair and makeup, and dressing for a date? They want her to act like a lady, but offer to pay like a man?

Take your pick, gentlemen. If I am out with a man, then I am the woman, and he is the man. Don't expect a lady to act like a lady, and then pull out her wallet like a man. If you are not willing to act like a man, and pay for the date that you asked for, then stop asking women out on dates. Date a man instead. You can't have it both ways.

gigi_chi · 2021-04-06T04:58:47+00:00

Why should we offer to pay if you plan to pay anyway? What’s wrong with us expecting you to pay??

throwawaydoll0 · 2021-04-06T05:09:07+00:00

What on earth? Why does pretending to offer to pay even matter? The man I'm dating now always takes the initiative to pay... without the mind games or bizarre expectations. Like if you're taking me out, you're paying... Offering to pay/splitting the bill is what I do when I'm out with my FRIENDS. My man knows it's his privilege to take me out, period.

Platipus6 · 2021-04-06T04:57:36+00:00

Finally, validation that I'm perfect :)

In which case the men chose to abuse me, or all men are psychopathic assholes.

I feel so free knowing I'm not the problem and not to blame.

SadPersonality8576 · 2021-04-06T06:36:36+00:00

See, I think this dude is just lying... for bragging purposes? The things he expects (except the offering to pay) are the bare minimum of dating curtesy, NOT a "perfect lady". But, just based on this offering to pay request - he is a standard man-ipulator, which means he has many more requirements, but he just shoves those into the "chemistry" part because he knows his actual idea of a "perfect lady" is unreasonable and/or way out of his league.

little_sparrow152 · 2021-04-06T10:40:31+00:00

Honestly? I don't know if this is against the rules to say, but I think with most things he actually has a point. The "offer to pay" part is silly, yeah, because it really just shows that he wants to show off how "generous" he is.

But I can actually understand the dressed up, proper language, on time and off the phone parts. If I was a guy, I'd probably expect it too, because it shows effort and some sort of class. He's a dude, and I sort of get that he can't know that we would very much like to be on our phones to tell our friends that we're safe or not, where we are, and if we need to get away.

This is in no way meant as a defense, like I said, some things just show he's pretty clueless.

But if he HIMSELF applies to the standards he sets, then I think it's pretty fair to expect the same. I thought it was a crucial element of HVM that they also have standards?

Of course, if he DOESNT stand his own standards, like, is late himself or shows up in sweatpants when he expects his date to look like a princess, he's obviously a dickbag in need of a reality check.

I'm relatively new here, so I might be missing the point that makes this a showcase of scrotism. This is merely my first thoughts, feel free to correct me if I'm wrong. If I'm gaslighting or otherwise hurting or insulting anyone by this, I sincerely apologize in advance and ask you to tell me so I can prevent it in the future.

fds_account58 · 2021-04-06T13:27:46+00:00

Leave them alone. LARPing online is the only time they get to feel like choosers. Everyone has coping mechanisms.

dingdingdingdongbing · 2021-04-06T13:30:22+00:00

Likkkkeee these guys must date nearly anyone if they have had the last 3 happen. Mean while this dingus probably showed up with New Balance shoes and dad jeans. Plaid shirt too. barf

Hasadevilputaside · 2021-04-06T15:56:11+00:00

What’s with the pearl clutching over cussing? As if these same men aren’t going to call you an “ugly bitch” the minute you don’t return their interest.

avidreader89x · 2021-04-06T05:11:00+00:00

I honestly don’t really think that list is that bad.. I was definitely expecting worse lol

2021-04-06T10:36:30+00:00

Okay? And what are you doing scrote? Bringing your best sweatpants and a t-shirt?

howdoilogoutt · 2021-04-06T07:51:05+00:00

well fuckity fuck fuck fuck him then

SnooDogs2457 · 2021-04-06T10:33:39+00:00

Fuuuuuuuuuugg dat

shoesfromparis135 · 2021-04-08T21:49:51+00:00

Wow, that sounds exactly like the perfect guy I can’t find! Yet they always fail the picture test, aren’t well-groomed, and are dressed like a child whose mom picked his clothes out ten years ago. Pretty bold of them to be making demands like this when they can’t even meet the bare minimum.

NoPomegranate6088 · 2021-04-06T15:05:04+00:00

I always felt like offering to pay is good because if the man let's you pay then that is helpful in vetting him.

I'm in my 30s and haven't dated much and from my experience I would expect a man to say no to the offer.

To me I feel like offering to pay and having your offer denied is almost part of a formalized mating ritual that everyone is expected to take part in.

I do t know how men percive the girl who offers, but if the guy either gets offended or accepts your offer I would see both of those as red flags.

Title	From a dating sub asking about the ‘perfect lady’ that men want to date.
Author	Guyincognito9876
Upvotes	253
Comments	80
Date	April 6, 2021 4:42 AM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/ml3qma/from_a_dating_sub_asking_about_the_perfect_lady/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/from-a-dating-sub-asking-about-the-perfect-lady.764728 https://theredarchive.com/post/764728

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