I, like so many others, am heartbroken for Gabby.

This story has obviously been disturbing to follow, but after seeing the dashcam footage that was released earlier this week, I have found myself feeling really triggered by this whole situation. Obviously, these feelings have been amplified by the latest development that remains have been found that are believed to be Gabby.

I am two weeks out of an emotionally and mentally abusive relationship with a man who I genuinely believe to be a narcissist. The feelings surrounding the entirety of the relationship, the abuse, and the explosive breakup are still very raw and painful, & I am in the early days of healing & recovery.

The dashcam footage has really stuck with me. The level of empathy, compassion, and understating I had for Gabby made my stomach drop. With the exception of the outside intervention (of law enforcement), I have been in that situation so many times with my abusive narcEX. I can't count how many times I had been manipulated, gaslighted, verbally & emotionally terrorized to the point of desperation and tears, all while he managed to remain completely calm & composed, & often with a smug look of satisfaction and accomplishment on his face because he had pushed me to that point. I saw myself in that situation and the recognition of the dynamic that was present and unfolding between the two was so eerily familiar it has been on my mind since seeing it.

The constant violence against women that is present in our society and world as a whole is deeply traumatizing and demoralizing to us as women. It serves as a constant reminder of what we work so tirelessly to protect ourselves from.

I am sure that I am not alone in feeling especially triggered and traumatized by this specific instance of violence against a fellow woman. I wanted to make this post to provide validation and solidarity to any other women who are feeling similarly in the wake of this recent development.

My heart breaks for Gabby, her family, & everyone who loved her. My heart also breaks for all the women who see themselves in her & have to sit with the emotions that come with that.

I pray that everyone affected by this tragedy finds peace & healing.