How was your experience dating/marrying Engineers?

Karthasis11 · 2020-11-30T09:51:43+00:00

I am an engineer and most of my male colleagues have a god complex. I think no matter the profession, most guys suck. A profession is not a good indicator if a guy is a HVM or a LVM.

Platipus6 · 2020-11-30T08:52:33+00:00

High IQ low EQ.

They're loyal because no-one else could put up with them.

Good husbands if you're ok with drawing them a flowchart for basic human behavior.

slythergin23 · 2020-11-30T10:31:49+00:00

a man's job won't tell you a lot about his personality. no matter what he does, you absolutely need to vet him thoroughly. there's no way around that.

there are nvm doctors and hvm artists. it's just... you can't know just by their profession.

Delishtise · 2020-11-30T09:44:46+00:00

Have dated 4 engineers.

Solar engineer. Computer engineer. Mining engineer. And then computer engineer again.

That was about 6 years of my life worth of dating. I've only ever REALLY dated engineers, actually.

And I would say... don't do it. First of all, I don't know where the "ranking" comes from but they are definitely not guaranteed to be loyal. And although they are financially stable I have always found them to be extremely cheap. They also have extremely low (like below the basement) emotional IQ which is honestly hard to stomach. And because of that they are usually callous, self-absorbed, and immature.

I've also dated one high level scientist and I would have to say the comment about misogyny, culturally and personally, is very true. They are extremely misogynistic!

-100 out of 10. Do not do it.

yfunk3 · 2020-11-30T08:53:29+00:00

As with any STEM or male-dominated industry, just be aware of the rampant misogyny that can and will be brushed off by many of the male engineers.

Pasdepromesses · 2020-11-30T11:58:53+00:00

I dated an Industrial Engineer for 5 years and he was very HV. I guess he was really nerdy, but not the 'typical' engineer. He was active in politics, committees, played a teamsport and studied philosophy at uni as a hobby. He was also very social. Spoiled me rotten emotionally, physically, financially and mentally.

Have dated guys from the medical and financial field after and they can't compare.

Edit: he was very high EQ, but also the absent-minded professor type. Needed a flow-chart + reminders sometimes, but made these for himself.

Edit2: I'm from Europe and the guys who study engineering are way more modest than the Canadian/Americans. When I lived in Canada for a while, I was really surprised that they were the 'cool kids' at the university (at least, they thought the were).

futuristicallyangry · 2020-11-30T09:02:03+00:00

Dated an engineer once, was misogynistic and exploitative which was basically him mimicking the STEM school he graduated from. He was the first guy I dated who cheated on me, so I wouldn't see them as loyal. A lot of engineers I know have very low EQ, and only those who transition from engineering to a social sciences/humanities field become better in terms of EQ, in my experience.

cantsextihavebills · 2020-11-30T14:36:38+00:00

One of my ex male friends is an engineer in the oil industry. He's very frugal to the point of being cheap. He's been with his girlfriend for 5 years and has no intention of marrying her. He makes her pay half the bills for the home he bought. He constantly texts other girls, but would never actually follow through and physically cheat. He decorated his entire home himself and once made his girlfriend cry when she (with his mom!) picked out a table runner to go on the dining room table as a gift and he made her return it because he didn't like it. Very low EQ, pretty scummy.

moonlightpuddle · 2020-11-30T14:34:30+00:00

Dated a mechanical engineer for a while. I agree with most ladies here....very low EQ overall. I had to justify my emotions in almost every senario, and was gaslighted all the time when asking to be treated like a human being. You want the door open? Well, we're in 2020, do it yourself, even if you're carrying heap load of groceries, none of which I'll help you carry. Being an engineer also made him have this insane god complex, and was condescending in everything he said to me. Also, he was VERY cheap... especially for someone in a career like him. Luckily I had my own money, but I'm definitely not making that mistake again. My sister has a stem career (research biotechnologist) and she tells me often enginners are the idiots of the Stem community, them and programmers as it's really only a BSc requirement. Ofc not all degrees are created equal but for that salary band most other Stem careers require a Master's. I'm in law so I wouldn't know. My advice? Avoid. But this is my experience, all I can say is that. I advise you to vet thoroughly on emotional intelligence and I'm sure you'll be okay. Best of luck, I'm sure there's some good engineers out there.

ciellavi · 2020-11-30T11:11:42+00:00

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AwkwardDisaster4150 · 2020-11-30T11:25:24+00:00

I’m married to a mechanical engineer. I love him so much. He doesn’t have low emotional iq, but he has told me that when he was younger he had a hard time in social situations because he was kind of awkward. It’s something he had to learn to do. But by the time I met him, when he was 28, he was pretty good in social situations, although still very introverted which isn’t a problem because I am too. He’s hilarious, that’s probably one of the best things about him. We get each other’s sense of humor. He’s one of the nicest people I’ve ever met. His parents are still together and I get along with his family. He never played any games with me when we were dating, and I’ve never felt anything less than fully respected by him. He doesn’t ask for anything weird in bed- just normal sex is fine. He’s very responsible and has a lot of money saved up, he owned a house when we got married but sold it to move into mine because I like mine better.

I know not every engineer is going to be a good husband but mine is amazing. Especially when I think about all the other guys I’ve dated and the other guys I was meeting on Tinder around the time I found him, sometimes it feels like I found the last HVM on Tinder.

Danigirl_03 · 2020-11-30T14:20:03+00:00

Dating an engineering technologist. So engineering but without the degree. He has a diploma instead. And honestly he’s lovely. He has a solid career and great job but he’s not egotistical about it. He’s wonderful with me and my teenage daughter. Super kind and giving.

He doesn’t have a lot of relationship experience. So he has asked if he’s not doing something well enough or properly for me to tell him so he can fix it. I’ve had to a couple times and he’s immediately fixed his behaviour.

However I think a career field etc is a terrible way to vet a man. A guy who does the exact same job as him in his group has been subject to a sexual harassment complaint because he refused to accept no from a woman that she didn’t want to date him.

It’s not a good barometer of a whether they’re a HVM.

2020-11-30T16:53:54+00:00

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Tugallois · 2020-11-30T14:52:28+00:00

I've only dated engineers and engineering students, until my now-boyfriend. And I'm the daughter of an engineer more than 30 years married to my mother.

Engineering has LVM and HVM same as any other field, honestly. I have a cousin married to an engineer who is an attractive and devoted husband and father. My ex on the other hand was emotionally unstable. 🤷🏻‍♀️

On average they tend to have low EQ. Some are faithful, some are not. Immaturity and arrogance are common. The stable employment is a plus.

I would say computer engineers are the worst bet out of all engineers.

fcebtfs · 2020-11-30T21:23:33+00:00

Studies have shown that there is a trend on what professions marry each other (https://www.bloomberg.com/graphics/2016-who-marries-whom/ [based off of US Census data] ). I believe this is because certain personalities are more likely to go into a profession. Make of it what you will, but as someone who works with engineers every day they have...obsessive personalities and this will lead to neglect in a relationship. So while yeah maybe they won't cheat on you, they also might not treat you the way you deserve to be treated. Also they're the masters and subtle and blatant misogyny so beware!

vitryolic · 2020-11-30T09:32:54+00:00

Where’s the data corroborating these statements about engineers? It doesn’t seem feasible that someone could qualify a profession into how loyal someone would be romantically

softensonic · 2020-11-30T12:22:41+00:00

I dated a mama's boy Chemical Engineer in my early 20s who pitched a fit when I wanted more room in the closet after moving in together. I asked him for 2 months to set aside clothes he hadn't worn for 10 years that were completely out of style. When he didn't do it, I made a pile in the living room and asked him to sort through it. He crawled into our tiny closet and bawled like a fucking baby on the floor for a couple hours. He was 27 years old. 😬

jayda92 · 2020-11-30T11:27:48+00:00

My ex was a mechanical lead engineer for the yachting industry. There's no one in this world who has gotten to me in such a god awful way..

MacGyver in all aspects of life.

Mella_20 · 2020-11-30T21:16:31+00:00

Nah I would say they're pretty arrogant. Also many of them lack social skills. Where I go to school, the ones that get high grades are full of themselves and the ones that are just there cause their families pressured them have social anxiety. Nobody particularly unkind though. Wouldn't say its infested with lvm either. That would be the case for philosophy majors though.

Source: engineering major

straighthairgreece · 2020-11-30T18:45:38+00:00

2 that' I dated had very low emotional intelligence unfortunately.

2020-11-30T21:24:05+00:00

I'm against making generalizations about groups of people. There's good and bad in every industry and profession. What data is making you believe that engineers are the most loyal partners?

I dated a computer engineer and he was a piece of crap. I suspect he had mild Aspergers but was unaware or didn't address the issues it caused. The personality characteristics that probably drove him to be an engineer (and very successful at his job) were also the characteristics that made him a bad boyfriend (for example, he was very literal and lacked empathy for human emotions. Good when you're writing code. Bad when you unintentionally hurt your girlfriend's feelings. He was also very decisive. Good when you're managing a huge team in a stressful situation with tons of moving parts. Bad when you make a unilateral decision that entirely shifts the dynamic of the relationship). Even though he sucked, I wouldn't rule out dating another engineer.

I've worked with engineers my entire career. Some are jerks. Some are really nice. I've also worked with marketers, researchers, product designers, and finance people. Same story.

StillRecipe · 2020-12-01T00:42:38+00:00

In the middle of the divorce with a software engineer. Never again

My dad is also an engineer but he’s a business owner now- so yeah not ALL are bad. I definitely steer clear of any IT guys now tho.

Proud-Purpose · 2020-11-30T15:47:59+00:00

What he does is completely irrelevant. What matters is what he does for YOU.

mikobaby · 2020-12-01T03:24:14+00:00

Used to date a mech engineer, steer clear unless you want emotional issues, a ton of baggage, and having to teach basic human communication.

honeybeeroll · 2020-11-30T20:34:24+00:00

My brother is a biomedical engineer, just got married. Seems to treat his wife very well, he spends a lot of time with her family, he seems to do a lot for her. My brother is extremely social and outgoing, but he even said to me years ago in college that he had plenty of classmates that could not do anything of it wasn't math/science. Like terrible written communication skills and super awkward. Cannot imagine those guys turned out to be HVM.

I don't think you can blanket any one career as one with better men than others. However, some careers inherently attract low quality men more than other careers, from what I've seen: firefighters and police officers to start. Many women in STEM also go through horrible college experiences where dudes they've barely or never even spoken to starry shber stalking them, sending them huge ass emails confessing their love and freak out/cause problems for the women if they reject them.

notstrongenoughyet0 · 2020-11-30T19:51:31+00:00

My dad is an engineer and I would say he’s a HVM

souredskittles · 2020-11-30T17:18:09+00:00

[deleted]

devoushka · 2020-11-30T22:41:45+00:00

The most HV guy I've ever dated was an aeronautics engineer. I doubt his profession had anything to do with it though.

He also didnt make much money.

Surprise-Turbulent · 2020-12-02T02:10:49+00:00

My family is close to a straight couple, the man is an engineer and the woman is a lawyer. She's amazing but since you asked about the engineer I'll talk about him and their relationship

They've been dating for 15 years although he's been pushing marriage for yeeearrrss and she's not as into the idea. They have kids and they seem happy, he works part time (still get paid as much as her though because he's an ivy grad) and does all the cooking, cleaning, and childcare.

Personality: He is very soft spoken and mannered when you first meet him but gets more outgoing when you get to know him. He's pretty political . He talks a lot about how the idea of a "great man" is bullshit and every feat of human greatness is based off of the cooperation of many different. He reads a lot, he dotes on his kids and his little sister. He's pretty funny and is always complimenting his partner. The issues I have heard/seen with him is that he seems to have a proclivity towards fat shaming (comments against both male and female celebs), he can be very anxious, he's overly tough on his little sister about her grades (he'll be tough on his kids when they get older probably) and is a total neat freak.

JaneIsaPain · 2021-01-27T12:59:26+00:00

My dad is a mechanical engineer.

Terrible emotional intelligence, just terrible.

Super intellectually smart though and practically too.

But dear lord he sucks with emotions.

2021-10-31T18:38:13+00:00

Engineer scrotes have HUGE egos, below average looks, entitelement, stingy as hell but make 6+ figures, don’t respect women (but never admit to it).

HVM engineers respect women, make time to plan dates, and are great fathers.

Title	How was your experience dating/marrying Engineers?
Author	Truthland
Upvotes	60
Comments	49
Date	November 30, 2020 3:06 AM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/k3niqd/how_was_your_experience_datingmarrying_engineers/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/how-was-your-experience-datingmarrying-engineers.329542 https://theredarchive.com/post/329542

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