I want to get sterilized. Advice?

blackopium777 · 2020-02-23T12:02:23+00:00

You will have a hard time finding someone who will tie your tubes. If you don't have at least 2 children or are I think 35+ years old (or even older), the chance to have someone do this for you is basically 0.

Inaproproo · 2020-02-23T15:20:17+00:00

If you check the r/childfree subreddit there’s some resources for female sterilization-friendly doctors by state. Hope that is useful!

Radiant_Success · 2020-02-23T12:00:11+00:00

Good luck on finding a physician who will agree to performing that procedure for you, considering your age and the fact that you are childless. You may have to search overseas.

DagDag001 · 2020-02-23T14:19:12+00:00

As someone who is also childfree by choice and not having children, I still would advise to hold off on the surgery.

Mainly because, it’s a surgery. There could be complications, you just never know. I myself was looking into getting the same procedure done but stopped because I realized it wasn’t really necessary at this moment in my life. Sure, I wanted something as close to permanent as possible, but did I NEED it? Not really. At least not now.

I decided to get Mirena for the time being, and have loved it ever since. No periods, and no pregnancies thus far.

I personally would hold off until you’re at least 30. I’ll be twenty eight this year by the way, for context.

But if you’re adamant about it, visit the /Childfree subreddit and check out their sidebar. They have a list of approved doctors and there should be some in your area that you could call.

I don’t want to sound like an asshole, but this is a very permanent and serious procedure. Something I wouldn’t be deferring to strangers on if I was that serious about doing it. I think that’s where people’s opposition is coming from.

Best of luck to you in whatever you decide.

RoyalOccasion · 2020-02-23T16:59:20+00:00

You might be better off going with a long term BC option like an implant. Surgical sterilization is significantly less effective than hormonal BC. Many women in my family have had oops babies and ectopic pregnancies (my mother having two at 42 and 46!) from otherwise successful sterilization operations. 😬

jesza09 · 2020-02-23T12:56:11+00:00

My advice would be to hold off honestly, I probably would have got sterilised at 22 too if it was possible but obviously I’m glad I didn’t. It’s not even about the “what if you change your mind”, it’s a major surgery and a lot of women I know who’ve had it done have had some pretty gnarly complications and lasting side effects from it. In saying that I also know a lot of women had no problems and say it’s the best thing they’ve ever done, but you do need to consider that it could go either way for you and if it’s worth the risk.

SourceInHerEyes · 2020-02-23T12:06:37+00:00

Do you guys think I should do this?

You are too immature to do this if you think reddit is better than going to a medical doctor with this question. Go to a doctor, also a psychiatrist if necessary. Is abstinence not an option for you?

L1ttl3Lun4 · 2020-02-23T14:50:04+00:00

Glad to see another childfree lady! Some people think you will change your mind, but I think they were always fence sitters.

When people decide to have children at 18 or 22 they're never told "too young" to have decided to have a child, funny that never occurs in the reverse.

You sound like similar to me, I've been wanting to get sterilized for 10 years now and I'm gonna bring it up with my doctor soon. Hoping desperately for a doctor who understands my viewpoint.

Getting pregnant & having children sounds like an absolute worst nightmare for me personally, so while sterilisation may sound extreme, it's what I have to do to avoid unnecessary trauma. Birth control is never 100%.

I wish you the best in your journey!

purasangria · 2020-02-23T14:56:49+00:00

Why don't you just get an IUD? They have ones without hormones...

quaintlyspoken · 2020-02-23T16:47:04+00:00

r/childfree has sidebar resources and can tell you all about it, including tricks to get past certain hurdles.

Shermaow · 2020-02-23T21:07:09+00:00

I had it done almost exactly 2 years ago! Outpatient procedure, I was in and out of the hospital in like 2 hours, paperwork included. Pain was pretty minimal especially after the first day. I got a week off work but I worked a pretty active job so it could’ve been less if I was in an office or something. The scars are basically non existent, one is inside my belly button so you can’t see it, the other is super small and faded so you can’t see it unless you get weirdly close. (The 3rd was near an old surgical site so you can’t see it but there’s older scars around it). I had some pushback at first from doctors but once I was able to get it done I was thrilled. It’s like a weight is off my shoulders not having to worry about birth control/side effects etc.

Davina33 · 2020-02-23T15:47:10+00:00

I think you should wait. I'm 34 and child free by choice too. I doubt I'll change my mind but I wouldn't rush into getting sterilised. Give yourself another 10 years or so. A lot can change and you don't want to have any regrets.

jewdy09 · 2020-02-23T18:16:11+00:00

When I was 26 I asked to be sterilized. The answer was a resounding no. When I was 36, I had a period like a firehose. I woke up one night every few minutes with outrageous cramps. It turns out I was having contractions. I sat on the toilet and “gave birth” to an enormous blood clot. It filled my two hands. It was not a miscarriage.

When I went to the doctor they did a blood test and sent me immediately to the ER for a blood transfusion. I was four units low. A transvaginal ultrasound revealed a bunch of huge fibroids in my uterus. I had a hysterectomy and I couldn’t be happier about that. I kept my ovaries but I never had to have a period again.

Once this happened to me, I started to collect anecdotal data from my lady friends and family. The ones who didn’t have children or stopped in their early 20s also had a bunch of fibroids in their late 30’s early 40’s. Quite a few of them have had hysterectomies with varying results. The uterus seems prone to malfunctioning, especially in women who don’t have children.

Oh, and once the fear of becoming pregnant was gone, sex got infinitely better.

Parsnippety · 2020-02-23T11:59:20+00:00

I've had a bilateral sapingectomy. I didn't have any complications and the pain afterwards wasn't excruciating or unbearable and I recovered in the advertised amount of time which is 2-4 weeks. The pain was what you would expect for having fabric that rubs against against a well cared for wound. I'm an ethnicity that keloids easily so I do a small scar from where one of the incisions was made, but I don't think it's super obvious since I have chicken pox scars still too.

I don't want to make light of surgery, but if you know you don't want children then I would seriously consider permanent sterilization if you live in the US. It's being made harder and harder to access birth control and abortion services here not for moral reasons, but to ensure the white population increases by evil people under the guise of righteousness.

There is a real possibility you might have trouble getting a doctor to do the surgery since you're so young. If they find you attractive (and you're white) you will have an even harder time, but shop around using the listed doctors on r/childfree. That's how I found my clinic.

ChronicallyBirdlove · 2020-02-23T20:03:23+00:00

I’m getting sterilized soon and I’m 21. I want children but I have a lot of medical problems and ethically I’d feel wrong spreading my genes and forcing another human to suffer with my disease. I went to my yearly and went over my reasons in a very clear, emotionless way. That’s the key: You have to be emotionless when talking about this. So often women are considered too “hysterical” or “emotional”, and a gyno can and will refuse to do an operation if they believe you aren’t making a sound decision. Get a solid reason, and stick to it. “I don’t feel right bringing a child into this world, and I want to remove - or at least minimize - my chances of not having one. I would like to adopt in the future but I have no interest in adding more to this planet.” Specifically mention adoption/families. Women who are openly against children are more likely to get denied because they might “change their minds”. I hope this helps. More importantly, I hope you find someone you don’t even have to write a script for to get this done.

siberiansummer · 2020-02-23T14:25:44+00:00

Ughhhh tough one. I hate to say it but you are only 22. I’m 32 and I can just tell you I’m a complete different person than I was 10 years ago. I have two kids and I’m so glad I did. Even though I never was a kid person. With that being said I’m not trying to convince you you are gonna want kids. Just know views do change with age. Women often regret not having kids later in life. Get like Paragard. It’s a 10 y IUD and not as radical

Sunny-Bubbles · 2020-02-23T15:31:07+00:00

For what it's worth, I absolutely took for granted that I didn't want children from when I can remember up until my late 20s.

I've heard from other people this is common. I've heard people really upset they did this procedure and then change their mind (can be heartbreaking). But definitely I really thought I didn't want children for like 20+ years, before I changed my mind.

Also, for whatever it's worth, the Mating Matters podcast claims that the brain stops developing at age 25 (hence marriages break up less from that age). I don't know if this is true or what it'd mean, but it certainly seems like a lot of stuff happens in mid-20s where people go through a lot of changes.

Have you considered trying a mirena coil? It lasts 5 years, it can help with period cramps (or entirely remove periods), and as far as I know it's one of the safer means of contraception. Not everyone gets on with them, but I'm on my second and found them great.

EDIT: I think you should do whatever you want and if you really want to get your tubes tied then go for it. I'm just mentioning other perspectives + options in case they help you make whatever decision is right for you.

freerollerskates · 2020-02-23T14:45:53+00:00

Long acting reversible contraception (iud or implant) is considered to be as effective as getting your tubes tied but it's not as invasive and as the name suggests, reversible if for any reason you do change your mind. I'm not saying that you don't feel as you do or that's not valid, but I think it's also healthy to hear that if you change your mind at all that's not being a hypocrite, or letting other people say "I told you so".

TheOGJammies · 2020-02-23T15:07:38+00:00

I would wait only because of concern about how this would hormonally effect you in menopause.

classylassy28 · 2020-02-23T16:49:12+00:00

Don't do it. Wait until your 35 minimum.

Also read of effects from it by other women. Many of my friends who had it done after kids regret it. Some of them went into early menopause (32 years old).

postmodernistweasel · 2020-02-23T14:01:25+00:00

I was dead against having kids until I was almost 30 and never imagined I could possibly feel differently. Now I wish I had had more! You may well never change your mind but there are lots of other less drastic contraceptive choices that also pose less risk to your body.

Title	I want to get sterilized. Advice?
Author	AnonPinkLady
Upvotes	28
Comments	71
Date	February 23, 2020 11:42 AM UTC (6 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/f88fuj/i_want_to_get_sterilized_advice/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/i-want-to-get-sterilized-advice.693554 https://theredarchive.com/post/693554

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