I'm new to this sub, but people have seen my comments and questions pretty often by now. As an older woman, widowed 5 years, it's struck me that most men leave older women alone because we not only know all the games and scrote-y tricks and manipulations, but we're also hyper-competent mainly because we have to be, and we've learned over the years. Sex differences are very stark in older single men and women, but I'm wondering if we can spot some trends and in this way help all women of all ages, most of all younger members of FDS who have far more skin in the game as far as dating, marriage, cohabiting, and/or bearing children.

I'm interested in examples from when you showed yourself to be extremely competent in an area, and then a man pitched a fit, or broke up, ghosted, made a stank face, made negging comments, whatever. I'm hoping we can start to categorize what behaviors may set off L/NVM in dating, name these red flags, and thus weed these men out early.

I have a theory that the more a woman is left/let alone, the more competent she grows, whereas most men left/let alone grow more slovenly and lazy. There are always going to be Pickmeishas, and there are always some people, men and women, who are clingy, needy, and who will put up with abuse and low- or no-value behaviors. But I'm wondering what behavior did you as a woman do/perform that created an unnecessary amount of drama, or a rift, breakup, separation, hell, even a divorce? And how would a HVM have reacted? Thanks.