Does anyone else find the concept of love languages to be a bit strange? In my opinion, a HVM should be demonstrating all 5 love languages to you consistently. All 5 things (physical touch, gifts, acts of service, words of affirmation, quality time) are invaluable to a healthy, loving relationship. You can't not have some of these things, they absolutely all must be present.

I've heard LVM who are aware of the love languages use them as excuses for treating their woman in a sub-par way for example saying things like: "I'm not great at gift-giving, it's not my love language". This is bullshit, even if a man is not a great gift-giver by nature, when they get into a relationship, they should feel the urge as a man to shower their woman with gifts. at the very least, even if he doesn't get that natural urge, he should understand the needs of women, we all want to be given gifts to some degree, and make a concerted effort to please her. The same goes for every other love language too. "that's not my love language" is never an adequate excuse, and again even if certain behaviors in the love languages are unnatural to men, they should want to do all of those things for a woman they love, or at the very least pick up on their woman's discontentment when those things aren't present, and change their behavior.

I've also noticed that for women, their love language is more often than not whatever they were missing in their last relationship. For example, my ex wouldn't be affectionate with me publicly and this was the source of most of our fights. I was super consciously aware that he'd never hold my hand or put his arm around me at parties. When I first met my HVM now boyfriend, I noticed that he right away would hold my hand and put his arm around me in public. This meant sooo much to me because I was so aware that this was something my ex did not do for me, and so I would think to myself "physical touch is my love language". After about 6 months of dating my HVM boyfriend, I realized that obviously I loved and required physical touch, but that realistically, physical touch is a base level need in a relationship, not a love language. It's also not a substitute for other love languages, and I only really was so attuned to it before because I didn't have it in the past.

Pickmes will subtly shame other girls whose love language is gift-giving or acts of service because they require actual effort and action. This is mostly a cope for them not having boyfriends who will buy them thoughtful gifts or do things for them. If your man isn't doing these things it's not a good sign, regardless of what your "preferred" love language is, as 99% of women enjoy being given gifts and having chores/tasks done for them. Don't accept a relationship without these qualities.

Words of affirmation is the most pickme love language. That shit is base level. You absolutely CANNOT have a relationship without words of affirmation. Like I said, all love languages are necessary in a good relationship, but words of affirmation especially. When someone loves you, they want to gush over you and dote on you. If they're not doing this they are NOT into you. Period. Girls who have this love language were oftentimes in relationships with LVM previously who withheld complimenting them/saying I love you and used it as a weapon. Words of affirmation is a MINIMUM STANDARD. Even more so than the other languages.

TLDR: a relationship with a HVM will automatically have most or all of these love languages already present, and words of affirmation is an absolute must no matter what. Don't let LVM (or your inner pickme) rationalize mediocre treatment to you because "it's not their love language"