Reminder 👑Trust your instincts!

hopewings · 2021-07-07T16:55:07+00:00

That second slide, so true. The much older predator ex who was 7 years older than me when I was 15 years old, bragged to me about how he would never lay a hand on a woman. But he would break things, punch walls, prevent me from leaving the room, scream at me in my face, hurl all manners of insults at me, and tell me nobody else would ever love me like he did.

Good thing. I escaped after years of abuse and found a man who doesn't do any of it, is actually kind, loving, treats me well, and is my same age. I make it a point to warn young women about age gaps because I lived it.

feelgoodlost_ · 2021-07-07T17:35:58+00:00

Before the real scrote stands up: “You’re so intuitive and are a good judge of character. You always know.”

When the “I have NEVER (ever) lied to you” starts: “Your gut is wrong, I never said that, that never happened.”

If they have had jobs where they had to lie constantly (used car salesman, repo, etc) they have it down. These men control your reality because they gaslight, triangulate, manipulate, and reality is based around their lies they believe to be true and it’s used to control you.

When you first meet them, your body rejects them in every way possible, if ya know what I mean. Honor your gut. Society, the patriarchy, and childhood influences women to not trust their instincts. It’s all a bunch of hog wash.

AngryTiger69 · 2021-07-07T18:01:50+00:00

Yeah whenever I’m on a date and a guy mentions something like “I’m principled, I always keep my word”, an alarm sounds off in my head.

Like you shouldn’t have to verbally convince people that you have integrity: they will infer from context based on your actions.

Amy3e13 · 2021-07-07T17:50:05+00:00

"I'm an ALpHa male!!!!!!" = insecure scrote with mommy issues

shutup201 · 2021-07-07T17:48:19+00:00

That's all con men do at every opportunity too.
So true about the emotional abuse as well. Guys always look for loopholes to trashy behavior. They work so hard to look like a good guy instead of just being a good guy (that's full rotation back to the 1st quote and why they have to say they're so amazing at everything).

Great reminder. Thanks.

Struggleis4real · 2021-07-07T19:18:12+00:00

I have met many of these types of men from my former job and it is 100% true. The ones that talked big or bragged about money literally had nothing to show for it. Confident, secure men will respectfully show you through their actions.

BlovesCat · 2021-07-07T19:17:36+00:00

Men with big dicks don’t need to talk about how big it is…

arnezuara · 2021-07-07T18:16:21+00:00

My ex could justify hitting a woman back. In self-defense, as he put it.

I should’ve left right there and then. I’m happy he never laid his hands on me. I got very, very lucky.

HomeGrownInDallas · 2021-07-07T19:35:42+00:00

In addition to the second slide, men are also less likely to acknowledge emotional cheating and are more hurt by physical cheating.

Edit: Someone tried to reply saying that “physical cheating is the only cheating”. Ah yes Chad, because sending another girl pics of your dick is definitely not cheating 🙄

MemoryBulky · 2021-07-07T20:46:35+00:00

You missed nice guys. Nice guys don't tell you how "nice" they are.

uwillneverfindmeirl · 2021-07-07T19:49:35+00:00

I dunno, some rich men love to remind everyone how rich they are at every given chance

But those men tend to be very insecure and paranoid- they think money is the only thing going for them and think that people will abandon them otherwise.

Educational-Shower36 · 2021-07-07T20:53:59+00:00

Also, “nice” and “good” men (which are subjective anyway) don’t tell you how “nice” and “good” they are. Men who constantly talk about how nice and good they are make my head hurt. Who are you trying to convince? Yourself or me? Because your actions tell me all I need to know.

Also, a guy friend once told me to my face “I’ve never had a reason to lie to you.” However, he did in fact tell me a lie; he just didn’t know that I knew it was a lie.

StrangeHoney6062 · 2021-07-07T17:52:23+00:00

This is so great. I try to apply it to myself, too.

I had a friend tell me once (after I was complaining about my boss) "If anyone has to tell you they're in charge, they're not really in charge. "

Let your actions speak for themselves.

katiekat0214 · 2021-07-07T21:38:54+00:00

I've quite often said to their faces, anyone who has to proclaim how nice they are (or smart, rich, honest, x good quality) probably isn't. I'm skeptical, and time tells. Lets them know immediately that they're going to have to work to impress me, that what they've said has been clocked, I'm on the lookout now, and I'm not taking them at their word. If they bristle, sulk, pout, time to nope out. Thank you next!

_queeeen_ · 2021-07-07T22:41:29+00:00

Normalize women acknowledging they are afraid of a certain man “just because.” Instinct and intuition are invaluable.

ferretcat · 2021-07-07T19:46:09+00:00

When a guy will tell me how rich he is, then prove it or stfu

I really don’t care to hear about someone’s finances, like I’m proud that you’re taking care of yourself but if it’s to sway me, then I won’t really take it seriously lol

dizzybean46 · 2021-07-08T00:40:55+00:00

A man will con you into thinking he’s a good person for the first few months of dating, then his true colors show. And then when you’re hurt, that same type of man will tell you “well you shouldn’t chase douchebags”. They will always find a way to rationalize a woman being abused as her fault 🙄

ThrillHoJM · 2021-07-07T17:40:49+00:00

Passive aggressiveness from men in relationships is the worst!!!

IndigoTR · 2021-07-07T23:08:52+00:00

Omg the “I’m a spiritual person” types are the worst! I have endured more emotional and mental abuse from those types than any others.

fireforestfairy · 2021-07-08T00:46:35+00:00

Totally agree with the first pic. Even if these men are as good as they claim, it's a red flag that they're telling everyone about how good they are. They are either narcissists or fuckboys who think bragging about themselves will help them get laid.

Pahapan · 2021-07-07T22:23:00+00:00

My ex had raped me several times but prided himself on having managed to not hit me. Like, he really didn't think forcing his penis into me was physical violence. Most men are FUCKED UP intellectually and emotionally. This is also why you'll encounter so many men who claim to have been the victims in abusive relationships. Their conceptualization of what constitutes abuse is warped, they can't fathom what it's actually like being a woman abused by her intimate male partner. They can't comprehend the power imbalance and dynamics. It's similar to how a lot of white people struggle to understand critical race theory. Being a man in a patriarchal society inhibits your ability to think in a rational, unbiased manner, just as being white in a racist society does, and few members of the privileged demographics are willing to put in the work to unlearn the conditioning.

woadsky · 2021-07-08T00:26:46+00:00

I once dated someone who bragged about how he made his house cozy and homey. When I walked in he had a loose, bare light bulb hanging overhead and five mismatched wooden chairs in an "interrogation circle" underneath.

tjhoughton · 2021-07-07T18:31:31+00:00

Yes - that second slide especially!

over--tired · 2021-07-07T21:05:58+00:00

Nice men don't tell you how nice they are

lola_cage · 2021-07-08T00:06:27+00:00

LOUDER FOR THE LITTLE GIRLS WITH NO ROLE MODELS.

Truly, what I appreciate the most about this sub is the sheer support and true feminism. It's truly sad how many of us were raised by well-meaning but TOTALLY lost women who may have appeared strong on the outside but were miserable on the inside. The patriarch has literally all of society brainwashed. It's horrifying.

Icy-Letter6188 · 2021-07-08T07:07:47+00:00

A lion doesn't need to tell you its a lion... Pretty much covers this.

skyfullofstars89 · 2021-07-09T09:15:32+00:00

I never trust a guy who has to tell you how nice he is. All the guys who told me they were gentlemen turned out to be absolute fuckwits in sheep's clothing.

Genuinely nice people don't shout about being nice.

Title	Reminder 👑Trust your instincts!
Author	modernmedusaa
Upvotes	1507
Comments	52
Date	July 7, 2021 4:27 PM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/ofmelb/reminder_trust_your_instincts/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/reminder-trust-your-instincts.789293 https://theredarchive.com/post/789293

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