They don’t trust each other either

Pasdepromesses · 2021-05-09T01:03:23+00:00

Its even worse. The men in my family don’t want me to have a man from a non-western culture. They’re themselves from a non-western culture. 🤦🏻‍♀️

MildlySchizo · 2021-05-09T00:34:09+00:00

My dad got my mother pregnant when she was 14 and he was 21 (he passed away a year and a half ago) and my mom was finally able to acknowledge that my father was a child predator. She then added "If one of you girls had come home with a man that old, your dad would have beat him to death and happily gone to jail for it." When its not projection on their part, they just fucking KNOW how men are yet do nothing about it. "Its not all men but I dont want to take any chances" Ok so its not -all- men but its a HIGH ENOUGH NUMBER that you dont trust ANY men. Fucking disgusting.

The disconnect but entitlement is jaw dropping.

betsybasset · 2021-05-09T01:09:31+00:00

Yup. I was raised with 'don't go near men!!!!' growing up.

Then found out my own father is the biggest hypocrite criminal as he's abused my mum all her life.

I mean if my own dad is like that, what hope do we have with other males 😑

bonfire_heart · 2021-05-09T00:29:57+00:00

I remember an interview of AJ McLean from the Backstreet Boys. He has 2 daughters and he said he kinda wished they were lesbians, because men are trouble and he would be less anxious about his daughters getting into relationships... It goes to show how men really don’t trust each other

StrawberryMoon3 · 2021-05-09T03:00:53+00:00

Men know that they're monsters. They just don't want women to know. That's why they rely on women being naïve and heckle those who know the truth about male nature.

merlinscalculator · 2021-05-09T01:18:05+00:00

I’ve always been a loud feminist and that used to irritate the fuck outta my dad. He used to ‘not all men’ me like hell while discussing these topics... until I started dating and going out and I had the pleasure of using his rhetoric against him. When I started dating my first boyfriend he suddenly got super overprotective and would try to put restrictions on me doing x y z or on going to this place or that. He’d tell me the standard ‘I know what men are like/I know what boys want/I know what he’s trying to do’. I really enjoyed telling him ‘no dad, not all men are like that. He’s not like that. You haven’t even met him and you’ve taught me better than to generalise all men as bad - isn’t this what you didn’t like about my feminist views? I appreciate you teaching me to think of all men as good until proven otherwise so why should I refrain from doing x y z with any of the men in my life? They couldn’t possibly do me any harm and your assumption that they would just because they’re men is the ‘toxic feminist attitude’ you’ve taught me to drop. Of course I can get drunk and sleep over at my male friends house! You wouldn’t have a problem with me doing that with a female friend so why are you assuming a man will harm me? Men won’t take advantage of me and use me for sex, 99% of them respect women and want to protect and love us. That’s what you taught me! If bad men only make up 1% of the male population why would I treat them all like they could be in that 1%? It would be rare to meet a bad man, why should I be cautious with all of them? Sounds like you need to drop YOUR toxic feminist attitude dad!’

I still remember these conversations and the sheer panic in my fathers eyes as he realised how dangerous his ‘not all men’ attitude actually was if his daughter believed it. This man literally retracted every single good thing he’s ever said about men, apologised for allowing his ego to put me in danger, begged me to forget everything he’s said about men so that he can start teaching me from scratch and 6 years later still hasn’t dared to go against me in my feminist views again and now feels comfortable enough to say the truth - all men should be treated with suspicion until they’ve proven repeatedly, over a long period of time that they’re not monsters... and even then you NEVER give them 100% of your trust.

If your ‘not all men’ defence drops as soon as it’s about your daughter and it suddenly becomes ‘all men’ then you never believed it in the first place. You just wanted to preserve your ego by distancing yourself from the vile behaviour of your gender and gaslight women into lowering their defences around you. But you wouldn’t want someone doing that to your daughter because you know that most men’s intention are rarely pure. There is ALWAYS a malicious motivation behind telling women to be less cautious of men.

Thesseli · 2021-05-08T23:40:55+00:00

They know how toxic they are.

creamtart_ · 2021-05-09T01:35:27+00:00

Yet naive conditioned pick mes still relentlessly defend men, when even men acknowledge their own depravity.

thatrecoilwhenyoucme · 2021-05-09T05:52:25+00:00

I’ll say it at the expense of sounding like a broken record. Males lack the mental capacity to understand how their words betray them, expose them, and contradict them

k_sugarplum · 2021-05-09T11:22:38+00:00

Yeah, that's why most men want to have sons instead of daughters... sad.

sassyheather · 2021-05-09T01:40:05+00:00

My dad is a HVM and has displayed an excellent radar for all sorts of crap I’ve tolerated. If only I had listened to him. 🥲

Gerudo_Goddess · 2021-05-08T23:17:51+00:00

“Oh man if I had a daughter I’d have to protect her!!”

From what? Other men? Like yourself?

Men either were or are the type of man that they feel they have to protect their daughters and sisters from. Men know exactly how shitty other men are because they are men themselves. They can “not all men” all they want but deep down they all know how dangerous/predatory/pornsick they are.

Dinaslabyrinth · 2021-05-09T03:31:27+00:00

I also wonder about the mother’s who don’t trust other women with their sons. I don’t really understand those moms. You know how hard it is to be a woman. And there you go, training you son to be a man child woman hater off the bat.. yikes

LevellingUpTime · 2021-05-09T04:49:12+00:00

Men know how badly they treat women as a whole. They gaslight us, and "not all men" us, and "boys will be boys" us, and condition us to accept their violence or problems as inevitable so that men can become fathers or husbands and the human species continues... BUT they know.

And because women have been conditioned to accept men as they come (unfortunate pickmes) and to hope for the best ("well he doesn't hit me so he's amazing...") these men feel the need to step in and warn the women/girls in their lives about the true nature of the male species because a lot of mothers won't

But whoops, society is too busy gaslighting the daughters from birth and now the girls don't believe what their brothers/father says because they're just "overprotective", and the mom is whispering "he pulled your hair because he likes you baby", and the cycle continues until the woman learns from experience how bad men can be. Then she'll get to an age where she's an unmarried skeptic and the brothers/father lose their overprotectiveness and instead start into the "when are you getting married?" conversations even while they know how bad most men would be as husbands

millennialpink2000 · 2021-05-08T23:09:11+00:00

Historically these groups have been competing to rape/abuse the same family members... so not sure this the flex they think it is

MilitantPERF · 2021-05-09T07:09:21+00:00

But they end up acting all buddy buddy with each other about their misogyny though 😒

breadandbunny · 2021-05-09T13:57:36+00:00

Yet men still act as though we are being unreasonable when they know how awful some men can be.

relationship_reddit · 2021-05-09T19:09:16+00:00

Some of the dirtiest dogs I know are the most protective fathers, because they don't want a male to do to their property (daughter) what they did to another male's property. They don't give a fuck about women, they just don't want another dog pissing on their fire hydrant.

Codedress · 2021-05-09T20:51:04+00:00

When I was 14 I was so damn innocent. I thought my "best friend" was my brother, you know my brother from another mother. (All my life I wanted to have a brother to protect me). my best friend got me drunk and raped me one night and I remember very little. after that he treated me more and more contemptuous and before that he swore that he wanted to protect me and that he loved me. I never realized that his voice always spoke above mine, that he treated me as a little thing just because I was a woman. It would save me years of therapy if that horrible event in my life did not happen.

Papaverinum · 2021-05-09T09:37:45+00:00

They don't want their sister/daughter to suffer the same treatment they offer to other women

SleeplessNight21 · 2021-05-09T02:56:48+00:00

Men know men, they knows not to trust.

Dinaslabyrinth · 2021-05-09T03:30:17+00:00

Lol, the irony

Ladyofblades · 2021-05-09T07:13:08+00:00

Yep.

My bf was more untrusting, dismissive and even mocking of other men than I was before I met him. He’s based and believes women also make better bosses.

smilodon91 · 2021-05-09T23:30:59+00:00

There's a reason many fathers and brothers are abusers themselves.... they're male. Many other fathers and brothers have likely felt the urge to abuse but have not acted on it.

HeavyMetalLobster · 2021-05-10T13:56:11+00:00

This is my favorite post on FDS right now

Title	They don’t trust each other either
Author	DontAskTwice-A-Roni
Upvotes	3315
Comments	68
Date	May 8, 2021 11:06 PM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/n80u1c/they_dont_trust_each_other_either/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/they-dont-trust-each-other-either.758227 https://theredarchive.com/post/758227

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