What changed when you started giving back the same energy you got?

arnezuara · 2021-08-20T18:53:52+00:00

They gauge to see if you’re easy. When they realize they’ll have to make an effort to entertain you, they move on (but still orbit around, poking you every now and then in case you might be vulnerable/desperate).

starfighter07 · 2021-08-20T19:05:25+00:00

Sometimes, I feel like it is a form of negging. They are the one messaging you, so you answer and then, nothing. So you (i mean pick me days) start to wonder if you did something wrong : "should I have been more enthusiastic ? Was I cringey ? What did I do that bothered him ?". So you are going to lower your guard just for him to acknowledge you and reassure you that nah it's fine... until next time.

And it ***king works. I see so many women losing their mind trying to figuring out "how to keep a man responding to text". Girl, if he wanted to, he would.

shockingupdate · 2021-08-20T19:02:10+00:00

I have an old friend who gave me that energy my whole life, by text and IRL. I was at his beck and call from day one. I had to keep his mood up and conversation going in high school, entertain him enough to distract him from his IG count in college, and spend an hour taking the train to his city after work (when he had a car and could get to mine in half the time). When I stopped bending over backwards for him, the relationship completely fizzled out. The best he can do now is call once or twice a year with "Hey friend! Haven't heard from you in a while, we should catch up!" Which I've already decided we never will, lol.

If you have to vibe check a guy like this, just save your energy and block him. 🙂

Sage_Planter · 2021-08-20T20:04:26+00:00

I'm a very giving person, and in my last relationship (with a NVM), I realized I only want to be in relationships where I can put in my full effort without having to pull back. It felt like I wasn't being myself when I had to stop doing things I wanted to do because I knew they weren't reciprocated. I learned I don't want to be with someone who puts in 10% but happily accepts 100%.

sruslywhytho · 2021-08-20T19:09:42+00:00

What changed? I regained 80% of my peace.

hensbanex · 2021-08-20T21:33:23+00:00

my last relationship ended as a slow fade because I began to match his energy after being a pickme and trying to argue with a man about my value and how I deserve to be treated. once I stopped chasing him and trying to get him to engage or improve, I was left with the painful realization that I was essentially dating myself through him for our entire relationship.

ChocolateBiscuit96 · 2021-08-20T21:22:29+00:00

I started having less interactions with “men”. They believed that I was supposed to entertain them, send nudes, be the fun cool girl, etc.

Now I’ve been getting ghosted, left on read, unmatched, etc. some of these dudes try to come back around, but I don’t pay them any mind.

I have stronger boundaries and cut men off quicker. Because I was in a situation where I ended things a few times and he would come back begging and pleading, but when he was finished with me, he cut me off with no hesitation. He wanted to be dumper… he wanted the upper hand. I can’t give another man that satisfaction ever again.

r4nd0m-u53r · 2021-08-20T20:37:02+00:00

I see it as them needing validation. Do they still have you hooked? So they throw out a hook and when you reply that's all they wanted so they move on. They never intended to have a conversation. I had a female friend do this as well. Constantly texting Hey. How are you? Or the best was I miss you, then I reply and zero effort to engage. I offered phone calls or actually going for a walk but she kept having an excuse. Once I caught on I just stopped engaging. It's been six months and I haven't heard from her, if she really "missed" me she would have reached out to have an actual meaningful conversation.

letsberealforamoment · 2021-08-20T22:25:43+00:00

When i was still using dating apps, i always answered the "how are you" honestly and unfiltered. Answering this a good vetting opportunity

If my day was bad, i said as such and explained in a few words why. Same thing if it were good.

The scrotes that replied with a "lol" or anything that indicated a lack of interest got blocked and deleted. The ones that followed up or commisserated with me....didnt.

sewingmachinesavior · 2021-08-20T21:25:36+00:00

I’ve started sending really really obnoxious gifs back. 😂 Like a really sparkly one. Or something way over the top feminine. It amuses me. Still get no response. 🤷🏼‍♀️😅

CityOfBirth · 2021-08-20T21:28:47+00:00

If I message someone something generic like Hey or Hi, I have something I want to ask them & I want them to reply first before I ask them it. But these men just say "Hey, how are you" & that's it. They initiate the conversation, they want to have a conversation with me, but only put in 1% of the effort & want you to do the rest. It's honestly really pathetic, & I've taken to responding "What is it?" When they message me like that recently

w0rmsongs · 2021-08-20T19:35:43+00:00

I regained self-respect and respect from others.

I've been dating my boyfriend a little under 1 year. When he does things for me - which is all the time - I make a point of telling him how his action/deed makes me feel and it encourages him ... "when you cook a delicious meal and run a bath for me, I feel so warm and cherished." And he beams like a little boy, racing off to do the next thing for me.

Often couples don't thank eachother for the little things. It's like training a dog honestly.

coolestgirlyoueverme · 2021-08-20T22:24:14+00:00

If it's that low effort, I don't even mirror, I don't respond at all.

frustratedmarxistfem · 2021-08-21T01:15:06+00:00

The response "who is this?" is the best way to swat away the flies

Muffcakelord · 2021-08-21T07:15:23+00:00

I got respected tbh.

I used to treat others better than i treat myself in all regards. Once i stopped, or at least reduced this toxic mindset, people started seeing me as a person. If you're too considerate or generous, people just don't respect you. There's of course a balance to be met - just never be -too- considerate.

lolmemberberries · 2021-08-21T01:16:45+00:00

Just recently had a former acquaintance try this. I responded with "Who is this?" (No longer had his number in my phone) When he identified himself, I blocked and deleted.

Noemie_Mathilde · 2021-08-21T00:36:12+00:00

Remember to give even less energy than they do. What changed? Everything.

pickadaisy · 2021-08-21T04:14:09+00:00

YES! I’ve been playing this game on OLD to see how men react to it (because I’m isolating in the pandemy) and I’m realizing how my pre-FDS self gave SO MUCH DAMN EFFORT. I also now disappear for two days after established convo to test how they handle their emotions - and most unmatch me!

Men are so low effort yet cry about their bad luck on dating sites.

kwhorona · 2021-08-20T21:23:53+00:00

Got beaten and strangled so badly I had to call the cops.

emmgdac · 2021-08-21T00:30:05+00:00

The man

chainsawbobcat · 2021-08-20T22:32:59+00:00

I don't give back the same energy I get. I only match energy if your vibrating on my frequency.

ItsFreezen · 2021-08-22T12:09:38+00:00

"Is there some expectation that they can give 5% energy and girls will return with 100%?"

Yes.

Title	What changed when you started giving back the same energy you got?
Author	blerty567
Upvotes	758
Comments	51
Date	August 20, 2021 6:36 PM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/p8b5yn/what_changed_when_you_started_giving_back_the/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/what-changed-when-you-started-giving-back-the-same.1059183 https://theredarchive.com/post/1059183

Comments