Why do men gain weight after getting engaged?

JadeBaby2211 · 2021-12-08T04:41:57+00:00

I've had 3 boyfriends now start to binge eat a few months into the relationship. Like they all seemed at a normal, healthy weight, and then all of a sudden started to eat large pizzas by themselves or several packs of twizzlers😳 everything in the relationship was honey moon phase, and then maybe they were confronted with their emotions, and then used food to stuff them down? I don't really know.

Live-Apricot1106 · 2021-12-08T01:31:48+00:00

As other people have commented, I think it is just about laziness. They feel as though they've done the work in getting a partner and now they don't have to try.

For some reason it doesn't occur to them that engagements can be broken off and while divorce is hard, we will do it. 80% of divorces are initiated by women. Women don't want to put up with this shit and they will leave. They need to wake up and realise that even if you've been married for decades, you still need to date and impress your partner.

I have a friend whose grandmother divorced his grandfather in her late 60s. He's dead now. She is alive and better than ever. Interesting.

tuberosetears · 2021-12-08T00:53:18+00:00

He already got her and has no worries about competition anymore. He's done all the impressing he needs to do. And vice versa occasionally.

Sometimes couples just stop trying for each other. I don't know why.

I'd impress and delight my partner until I died and would want the same from him.

plomerst · 2021-12-08T01:24:35+00:00

I noticed the opposite actually. I noticed that couples in my circle get fitter OR just lose weight before their wedding. However, I noticed after getting married, many couples gain weight/fat.. both of them.

NotYourCirce · 2021-12-08T03:00:05+00:00

I don’t have a good answer. In my experience I’ve gained weight when I’ve been in a relationship with someone who was making me absolutely miserable

greatthanksihateit · 2021-12-08T02:06:45+00:00

It's called "comfort weight." They get comfortable and don't feel the need to make the extra effort to attract a partner.

Elena1684 · 2021-12-08T04:39:49+00:00

I’m going through a divorce after being married for 28 years. My stbxh was stick thin but yes right after we got married he gained a bunch of weight. I stayed thin. Later on he lost weight and unbeknownst to me got a new girlfriend. I gained 40 pounds.

2 years later I’m thin and he’s fat again. He drinks and overeats when he’s unhappy which is his natural state. He gets a boost in a new relationship but it doesn’t last.

This might not apply to all men who gain weight after marriage but this was my experience.

Aocwannabe · 2021-12-08T09:27:28+00:00

I will only date men with an active lifestyle because when I have dated men that don’t, I would gain weight and didnt engage in the things I love. And I would opt to watch tv instead if hit the gym if that man wasn’t into the gym.🤦🏽‍♀️ And the REAL zinger is that I’ve dated men who weren’t going to the gym themselves suggest that I lose weight/ change my diet.

whiskey_and_oreos · 2021-12-08T00:54:54+00:00

They know when their wall is approaching so they time the combination of bad genes hitting the wall and "letting themselves go" because they get engaged or married and don't have to play the field anymore.

sheokay · 2021-12-08T04:00:00+00:00

Because he got someone who’s willing to put up with him and she, realizing he’s no longer trying, is matching his energy.

Platipus6 · 2021-12-08T02:01:26+00:00

Men's desire for instant gratification has gone off the charts. They're barely holding their shit together and the urge to drop the mask and do nothing is insane. They don't think they have to do anything to keep a woman around. They deeply resent the bare minimum required to attract one. Most won't even fill out a dating app bio.

It used to be an actual honeymoon period after the wedding, say 3 months, and then 'the honeymoon's over' and they gained weight.

Now they think they gotcha after you both swipe right and he can unbuckle his pants and eat a triple cheeseburger. Phew, thank god the arduous task of checking my phone while I'm taking a shit is over.

OldWestStyle · 2021-12-08T00:58:39+00:00

It's not a covid thing. In the 9 months between me and my ex getting engaged and getting married he gained 40 pounds and stayed that weight the nearly decade we were together. Whereas I have never been plus or minus ten pounds in my entire adult life.

It's definitely not stress either. Men don't gain weight from stress, they gain weight from eating too much and being sedentary. It's laughable to think that married men are somehow more stressed.

Emergency-Feed8216 · 2021-12-08T05:18:25+00:00

My husband is the same weight he was when we got engaged, back when dinosaurs roamed the earth. I was thin then but thinner now, probably because we moved the family to a walking city.

Another contributing factor might be that we buy farm shares and eat 99% organic. When we go out, it's really for the ambience, to get some adult time away from kidlets, to avoid doing dishes and maybe sleuth out a new recipe, but honestly we usually prefer what we cook at home.

I read somewhere that, regardless of whether it's organic or the style of cuisine, people who cook most meals at home tend to live longer. I'm guessing it's the lack of additives, fillers, sugar, cheap oils and borderline fetid fish and meat even high end restaurants sneak into their cuisine. At this point I can sense the difference. I generally feel better eating what we cook.

P.s. I should add we're not tradcon and I'm not chained to the stove. Husband cooks and does dishes half or more than half the time, takes me out regularly and, now that the kids are teens and more independent, we take getaways several times a year.

Mcccy · 2021-12-08T12:47:43+00:00

In my home country we have this silly saying that's explains this, it's called "You tied up your donkey up now"

Which means when you're married/engaged you are free to get fat and lazy since they (the partner-donkey) won't break up with you cause of the sigma around failed marriages/engagements.

Of course now where you can break up easier and not get stigmatised it's probably cause of stress and fast food since both partners are working and there's no time or money for healthy food.

NotSoBunny · 2021-12-08T13:52:23+00:00

Comfort. Doing more indulgent things together and spending less time on the healthy habits so you can grow the bond more.

ms_monquis · 2021-12-08T21:21:03+00:00

Sure, I've noticed. Eating isn't usually an "activity" for single people. Once people couple up, eating becomes an actual activity. It's the date. It's the thing you come home to/for. So it doesn't surprise me at all.

(And this is setting aside the entire possibility that people stop trying to keep weight off once they think they've locked someone down and don't have to worry about their looks any more.)

whoreallycares32 · 2021-12-09T03:07:23+00:00

I can talk about this from my own experience as a woman who gained weight once married. I'm now single again and I realize how much more I cooked every night. I do really enjoy cooking but I don't do it alone very much. Now I skip dinner or just snack. Also, you tend to go out to dinner more. It all adds up. And up and up, hahaha.

lucidlotus · 2021-12-08T06:36:30+00:00

Or just getting into a serious relationship. I’ve seen men do this. I think part of it might be that suddenly spending huge amounts of time with someone else takes away from their normal routine, and good habits fall by the wayside, sadly.

CallousedGirl · 2021-12-08T01:32:23+00:00

This is 100% a phenomenon that some magazines and what not write about (engagement and first marriage year). Some of it has to do with all the events. Engagement party, wedding shower, dinner with friend group xyz to celebrate, wedding catering tasting, celebrating the two of you. All food and drink all the time. Coupled with stress of planning a wedding and/or not having to worry about nailing down a partner means weight gain.

pianist2020 · 2021-12-08T16:53:32+00:00

My husband and I both gained a little weight from the security of having a partner at home and making large meals together/eating more of a regular schedule. He lost weight on purpose for our wedding. I've been honest with him that I'm concerned about both of our health because we never work out and before we decide to have kids we should get healthier and he agrees on that. He has a big certification test at work in March so I won't be bothering him about it before then because he is going to be trying to increase his salary soon which is more important. And I don't have time for it either. His married friends are actually really thin guys so I don't have much other evidence. But I can definitely see weight gain for men and letting themselves go after they get a woman to commit.

ennu_i_sao · 2021-12-09T15:03:34+00:00

Honestly I feel like some of these men(and some women) have had a shit relationship with their body and food long before dating. They then think they deserve a little trophy or they think acquiring a partner will fix all of their life issues. So they just work out, eat better, etc with that goal in mind. Then, once they think they’re safe they go back to their old ways because they never actually did any of the real work to get better. They just wanted the advantages of looking more physically attractive (of which there are many).

I also think that in general, it’s really easy for couples to be very passive in their relationship if they’re not actively doing anything to work on it or make it better or choose each other again and again.

PeanutButterPigeon85 · 2021-12-09T18:48:42+00:00

According to my ex, it was me. He and I were long-distance, and I had zero control over what he ate or whether he exercised. However, he explained that he thought about me a lot, and thinking about me made him miss me, which made him sad, which made him eat...so really, he gained weight because of me. 🤡🤡🤡🤡

Glass_Room2330 · 2021-12-08T01:34:14+00:00

Lol when you get in a relationship you gain mad relationship weight. I was 210 before I met my man now I'm 235 😭😭😩

iacint · 2021-12-08T10:02:14+00:00

Get older.
Covid make most of us fat
Food as bonding in families, family dinners, shoving love and affection by cooking together/eat together/ bring tastings stuff. Food in most of families and culture has a special place and it’s not just fuel For body but a whole dimension

TellCerseeItWasMe · 2021-12-08T22:05:07+00:00

Why not when dad bods are phuking hot

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